Author's Notes: I have nothing against yaoi in general and I actually like LeexSakura.
Love Potion #9.5
Prologue:
"Are you sure this will work?" Sakura asked doubtfully.
"Yes, yes, I've been a medic-nin for ages. I know all about medicinal herbs and drug effects. I'm not as strong physically as Tsunade-sama, but in medicine I'm almost as strong," Shizune replied proudly.
"So how does this work?"
"It's basically a love potion, like genjutsu in a bottle. It contains various extracts of aphrodisiacs infused with chakra. My own recipe. Er…don't let this get out. I'm just doing you a favor since you think there's a chance Sasuke might leave the village to seek out Orochimaru. We must do what we can to keep him here," Shizune rationalized.
"So I just pour it in his drink?"
"Yes, the dosage should last about 48 hours, depending how much he drinks. I measured it out based on his approximate body weight. It's a…weaker concoction than what I use. I mean… you guys are still minors. Oh, and remember it's love at first sight, within 10 seconds from drinking the potion."
"Yes, I'll remember that," Sakura nodded with a smile. (Inner Sakura: "Hell yeah! Finally, true love will prevail!) "So…you've used this yourself?"
"Me? Well…let's face it…I'm just not as attractive as Tsunade-sama. All I ever get are her leftovers. I get tired of that sometimes." Shizune blushed and shrugged in embarrassment. "But if you tell anyone…I'll hunt you down and make you fall in love with…Rock Lee!"
"No! Not him! Anyone but Fuzzy Eyebrows!" Sakura exclaimed, aghast. (Inner Sakura: "No way! I'd rather French kiss a frog!)
"Right, just so we understand each other…" Shizune gave Sakura her most threatening stare.
-…-…-…-…-
DAY 1
That night…
It was well after the dinner rush hour when Sasuke agreed to meet Sakura at Ichiraku. Sakura timed it so that Naruto would be long gone and wouldn't interfere with her desperate plan to get Sasuke to fall in love with her. The only other customer was Iruka sensei, who had been dating Ayame the ramen girl for a couple of months now. Iruka sat at the other end of the counter and waved at the two genin as they sat down. Sasuke nodded his greeting while Sakura said her salutations. Iruka then returned his attention to Ayame. They were engaged in silly sweet couple talk; Sakura observed jealously.
"Thanks for joining me for dinner, Sasuke-kun," said the obsessed pink haired girl with her best smile. (Inner Sakura: "Can't wait to jump his bones!)
"Feh, so what did you want to tell me?" Sasuke responded in his usual cold way.
"Umm, let's talk after we eat, okay? Dinner is on me."
Sasuke nodded cautiously while thinking, 'Is this another one of her lame attempts to get me to like her? Pathetic. The only way I'd be interested is if she were stronger than me. Hah, like that would ever happen in this lifetime or the next hundred thousand.' He glanced at the menu and ordered ramen with beef balls and a soda.
Sakura ordered the same thing but with green tea so their drinks wouldn't get mixed up.
"You can tell me what's on your mind while we wait for our food. Why waste time," the dark haired, dark eyed boy pointed out.
"Oh…uh…I just wanted to discuss doing something for…Kakashi-sensei's birthday next week." (Inner Sakura: "Yeah! Nice save!)
"Ask Naruto. I hate celebrations of any sort," Sasuke responded disinterestedly. He added to himself, 'Birthdays, death days, what's the difference? What's the point? Man was born to die.'
"Well…you know how Naruto is. He'd just think of something stupid and perverted like jumping out of a big cake using his sexy no jutsu. Ugh!"
Sasuke shrugged, "Maybe Kakashi sensei would like that."
"Well, you must know him better than either of us. I mean, you trained with him for a month."
"We trained. Not talked. He doesn't feel the need to say unnecessary things like some people." He glared pointedly at her.
Before Sakura could think of a suitable reply, their food came. Sakura was sitting to Sasuke's right. She "accidentally" knocked over his chopsticks with her elbow. "Sorry," she said innocently. But as Sasuke bent down to get his chopsticks, Sakura poured the potion into his cup.
-…-…-…-
Iruka was feeling happy, happier than he had ever recalled feeling. Ever since his parents died he was alone in the world and even though he had people he cared about, his friends and his students, it wasn't the same as having a family or having someone special. Though it was true that Naruto was like a son to him, it was different and soon Naruto would be a grown adult and living his own life.
Iruka was certain that he loved Ayame, at least 95 percent certain. Still there was that 5 percent of uncertainly where he wondered whether she was truly the one for him and whether he truly did love her or was he just lonely and in love with idea of love. What if there were someone else out there for him whom he had yet to meet, or perhaps he had met that person but failed to notice it? These were the usual doubts of someone on the verge of a serious commitment, of someone cautious and earnest.
But as he watched her lithe form, unjustly covered by her plain restaurant robe, moving not quite gracefully about the ramen stand, he couldn't help but smile and stare. He thought about how soon, after closing time, she would return with him to his apartment and…
His thoughts were interrupted and his silly smile disappeared when he noticed her father staring at him and scowling. Her father did not like his daughter sleeping anywhere but her own bed, at home, under his watch. The old man stuck to his old fashion ideas about pre-marital sex and commitment.
A while back he had said seriously to Iruka, "A relationship is like a bowl of noodles. Some noodles are short and others are long and though you may not like the short noodles, they're too difficult to separate out so you have to compromise and eat it anyway because you paid for it." Iruka had just smiled and nodded, not really comprehending his point.
But now Iruka sheepishly looked down at his noodles. 'Why doesn't he like me? I'm such a great guy. Ayame says he does but it sure doesn't seem like it...'
He reached out to take a sip of his sake when he noticed it was a dark brown syrupy bubbly drink rather than the clear aromatic liquid he expected.
Iruka called out, "Ayame-chan, where's my sake? This cup has soda in it."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I must have gotten your drink mixed up with…" Ayame spied Sasuke's cup and quickly switched it with Iruka's. "Good thing Sasuke didn't drink any. I'd get in trouble serving alcohol to a minor."
Sasuke looked up from retrieving his chopsticks.
"Ha-ha, that's right, I'd have to report you," Iruka teased then quickly downed his sake before Sakura could say anything.
Sakura was horrified! She was about to warn Iruka but was too embarrassed to say anything and she figured Iruka already loved Ayame, so drinking a love potion wouldn't matter. But now she didn't know what to do about Sasuke. 'Damn it to hell! What do I do now? I don't' really have anything to keep his attention…and I don't have any of that potion left…' Then she heard a greeting.
-…-…-…-
Kakashi was walking by the ramen stand, with his littleorange book in hand, when out of the corner of his exposed right eye he saw his two little teammates sitting together. 'How cute, looks like Sakura is trying to put the moves on Sasuke again. Ha-ha, this is a perfect opportunity to tease them!' he thought mischievously.
"Hi you guys!" Kakashi said in greeting.
Everyone turned his/her head to look at Kakashi…
Bam! It was as if lightning struck! Iruka seeing stars, hearing bells, smelling roses, he sat frozen to his seat, unable to raise his hand to wave or even to raise his voice to reply. He just watched as Kakashi spoke to his genin then waved his farewell in his impossibly cool way. Then Sasuke got up abruptly and left with his face flushed. Sakura hurried after Sasuke while apologizing to him and cursing Kakashi. Ayame ran after Sakura who hadn't paid the bill for the untouched ramen and drinks. But the chaos was lost on the drugged chuunin who was now lost in his own thoughts.
'Now I understand why all women fall for him, so handsome and cool even with the mask,' he thought romantically and sighed.
-…-…-…-…-
Later that night…
As Iruka walked with Ayame, arms linked together, back to his place he found himself not thinking about the pretty young woman by his side, but about the annoying gray haired jounin. The couple had a tacit agreement not to mention Kakashi after the last fiasco when Iruka had mistakenly thought Ayame was pregnant with Kakashi's baby, but now Iruka could contain his curiosity no longer.
"Umm, I hope you don't mind me bringing this up but…what does Kakashi sensei look like behind his mask?"
"Hmm? Why do you want to know?"
"Just curious, like everyone else." He blushed slightly.
"Well…" Ayame didn't want to hurt Iruka's feelings by saying how better looking Kakashi was than he, but neither did she want to lie to him. "He just has a scar running down his left eye but the rest of his face is not marked. His nose is a bit more narrow than yours and his chin is stronger, cheekbones more defined, and his mouth is…" Ayame started to drift off daydreaming about Kakashi's luscious lips compared to Iruka's thinner ones. "…just dreamy…" she sighed. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that yours…you know I love only you!" Ayame shook herself out of her reverie.
But instead of being jealous, Iruka was putting together Kakashi's face as Ayame described it. 'Yes, I can almost picture it. If only I could see if for myself. I have to see it for myself!' he resolved.
"Hey, are you still paying attention?" Ayame shook Iruka's arm a bit roughly.
"Oh, yes I am, please continue."
"Umm, that's about it," she replied while thinking, 'Then there's his body…'
'I wonder what his body's like. But it would be too weird if I ask her that.' Instead Iruka just nodded absently in response.
-…-…-…-
Later, later that night…
"What's wrong? You can't seem to get it up today…" Ayame frowned as she tried another technique to arouse her paramour who lay flat on the bed.
"I…I must be tired. Tough day at the academy. Those brats can really give me a work out," Iruka explained, but thought to himself, 'Damn, what is it with me tonight? Ever since seeing Kakashi at the ramen stand I've been…distracted. I've never had this problem before…' Then an idea came to him.
"Would you mind closing your left eye?" he suggested to Ayame.
"Huh?
"Maybe you can wear my forehead protector and your kerchief to cover the lower half of your face…"
"Umm, sure, but why?" She looked at him quizzically.
"Er… I thought cosplay might be fun," Iruka tried this excuse.
"So… I'm a… bandit?"
"Yeah that's it…a bandit."
"Oh, cool!" Ayame laughed.
To Iruka's relief, she was the type who didn't mind experimenting, and she was not too quick on the uptake. "And maybe later you can bleach your hair…"
-…-…-…-…-
Much later that night…
'Damn, that didn't help. I can't stop thinking of him. What's wrong with me? I don't swing that way…do I? I never tried it so how would I know? Well, there was that one time with Mizuki, but we were just genin and it was just curiosity… But…I want kids! I guess I can always adopt…but what the hell am I thinking?'
The disillusioned chuunin looked fondly over at the sleeping form beside him. 'She's awfully cute. But not too bright or worldly. In ten or twenty years or even two or maybe next week, will I have anything to say to her? Conversation is already a bit of a stretch. All she and her father ever talk about are articles from the "Ramen and Sake" magazine. I can't really discuss my missions with her because of the confidentiality rules. Maybe I should go for a kunoichi, but they're all so bitchy. But Kakashi's interesting. He's cool and mysterious. I wish I knew him better.'
Iruka started thinking about his last encounter with Kakashi where Kakashi had tied him to a chair in order to explain Ayame was not pregnant with his child. Kakashi had also implied that Iruka was too interested in him. Iruka had hotly denied it, but now he wondered if it were true. Maybe his envy of Kakashi was something more. In any case he couldn't continue with Ayame if he had these uncertain feelings.
The honorable shinobi decided to break up with his girl and take some time to sort out his feelings.
-…-…-…-
Next up: Iruka dumps Ayame and pursues Kakashi.
