The Most Confusing (and Angsty) Love Story of All Time

Chapter 2: Never Going to Be Perfect

So was she his girlfriend? He doubted it. It was one of those weird relationships, nothing asked, nothing given. At least, not freely. They both ended up getting exactly what they wanted. He wanted sex; she wanted someone to make Malfoy jealous with. There were trifles, little notes in the hallway, whispered words of compassion and loyalty, promises they knew they couldn't keep. It wasn't love, but he wasn't looking for love.

She was somewhere between Ginny and Luna. Ginny was sweet, funny, and always ready to listen. Luna was, well, he and Luna had never talked. Pansy and he talked, not about much concrete stuff, and she didn't put up with his teenage rants, but hell, she was better than nothing.

"You're thinking about her again, aren't you?"

He snapped back to reality with a cold thunk. Pansy was glaring at him, semi tangled in her Hogwarts blouse, lying back against the pillows of the bed the Room of Requirement had dreamed up. His first thought was that this room was way too cold. His second thought was that she was probably mad at him, but what the hell did he care? She was his girlfriend, or as close as he was going to get to a girlfriend. She gave him what he wanted and he gave her what she wanted. End of story.

"Why does it matter what I'm thinking about? Currently I'm fucking you, and you should be happy."

She sighed and settled back down into the pillows, regarding him with an air of superiority as she ran her hands down his sides and over his chest. He smiled and she breathed out, relieved. As long as he was happy she was happy. He wasn't an abusive boyfriend, at least, not like some of the others she had had. He hit her every now and then, but it wasn't anything serious. Nothing she couldn't handle. She was actually grateful to him, now that she was dating the famous Harry Potter, the Hogwarts scum stopped leering at her. So she could handle the occasional beating.

"I…am happy. I have you."

She managed a weak smile, and prayed to who ever was listening that it was enough. He had never hurt her badly, but he could. She had seen him get mad, and she definitely didn't want to be on the receiving end of something like that. He couldn't be much worse than Blaise, she probably still had the marks from that one. But he had a temper, and it was better to stay on his good side.

He laughed, and it was the hollow kind of laugh that made her skin crawl.

"You have me? Darling, I fear you're sadly mistaken. You don't have anything. Hate to remind you, but everyone who you've ever slept with is in love with someone else. You're just like a drug, or a beer. It's fast, it's easy, it's certainly enjoyable, but it doesn't mean anything before and it doesn't mean anything after. I'm certain people have been addicted to you, but I would wonder if it was you they wanted, or just the feeling? I wonder who really cares?"

He pressed against her, and it took her every inch of her strength to not recoil. Why did he always have to do that? Of course, he was Harry Potter. Used every girl, left them behind in the dust of his blazing glory. The Chosen One, wasn't he? The one who was going to save them all from Voldemort. Well, the Chosen One was an ass.

He gave her a pointed glance, and she remembered her job in all of this. Slowly she massaged his shoulders, running her hands over his chest and down to his waist, fingering the tip of his dick, smiling as he moaned with pleasure.

Finally it was over. She hated that sex was an ordeal. Yeah, he wasn't abusive, but it was all about him. At least all the others would at least make sure she got something out of it. Not Harry. He took what he wanted from her and left. Which, come to think of it, was what he was doing right now.

"You're leaving?"

He turned around and looked genuinely surprised. "Why should I be staying? There's nothing here, unless you want it again."

She was silent, praying that he would leave so that she could go back to the Slytherin common room, climb into bed, and hopefully get a few hours before class the next day. Slut she may be, but she wanted a future. One day she would be able to leave Hogwarts, start a new life away from the Malfoys and Potters of the world. Or, she would be, if she kept her grades up. Harry didn't want her to sleep, didn't care if she did well. All he wanted was sex. All he cared about was his own fat ass.

"Well, see you round."

And he was gone. Just like that. In the beginning it had been wonderful. Well, not wonderful, but it had been pretty good. He had been caring, almost gentle. Little tokens left in the hallways, just hidden enough so that no one else would notice. It had been too good to be true. It always was.