The Most Confusing (and Angsty) Love Story of All Time
Chapter 4: Because He Was Gone
Ginny wiped away a tear and stared out the window, gazing at the ice and snow that coated Hogwarts. So much had happened in the last two months. It was almost Christmas…the first Christmas she wouldn't spend with her family. Very few people were going home this year.
She gazed around the common room. Hermione stood in a corner, clutching a pile of books to her chest as usual. She too looked like she was trying to keep from crying. Ron stood awkwardly at the other side of the room, looking up every now and then to gaze at her. Ginny felt sorry for her socially awkward brother. He would never have the girl of his dreams. Hermione would never take him back.
Around them, students moved in swarms, chattering animatedly amongst themselves, not even noticing the drama that was unfolding in front of them. Seamus was sitting at Ron's feet, absentmindedly tying and untying his boyfriend's shoelaces. Neville was sitting on the stairs, head in hands, wand lying beside him. How did everything seem so bleak, so devoid of cheer?
There were first years laughing. She could hear them. But nothing was funny. Nothing was even happy, anymore. It was Christmas. She should be happy, ready to get home and see her family. But she wasn't.
Because he wasn't here.
Finally the room cleared, except for the 5 silent teenagers that stood in a circle, all knowing they didn't want to be here. But they had no choice. This was the last time they would see each other. Shouldn't they make an effort?
"Should…should we start?"
Neville looked up first, his round face covered in relief that she had spoken first. Ron stared at the floor; Seamus rose to his feet and sat down on one of the armchairs. Hermione remained a statue in her corner. Ginny turned to face her old friends.
"Well…um. We all know why we're here…"
"Because we're doomed."
Ron's voice cut through the silence like a knife, and Ginny felt a cold shiver run down her back.
"We're not doomed, Ronald. Things will get better."
Hermione shot to life, shooting daggers at the younger girl.
"How on earth could you say that? We're fucking doomed. That stupid brat ran away, you're getting married to the enemy, and Hogwarts is closing. For good. How on earth could it get worse?"
Her words burned. Yet they remained the truth. Harry Potter, the Boy who Lived, the Chosen One…was gone. Disappeared, without a trace. People said he had cracked. She didn't know. But he was inexplicably gone, and with him their last chance for defeating Voldemort and rebuilding their lives.
As for her and Malfoy…she didn't have a choice. They had broken up ages ago, around the same time Harry had disappeared. But she was pregnant with his child, just typical. Her life now read like a bad soap opera. All their lives did. So she had to marry him. Her father had disowned her, Mother was never going to speak to her again. No one talked to her any more. She was the disgrace of Gryffindor. But did it really matter? In a week Gryffindor wouldn't exist save in memory. It would just be her and Malfoy, and a handful of shattered memories. All that was left. No friends, no successes. Nothing to show for her life.
"Don't say that to my sister. It's not her fault that the asshole ran off."
Ron turned red, and Seamus stroked his hair soothingly. Hermione, if at all possible, looked even more murderous, and stared at Ginny.
"Is there a reason that we're all here? You were the one who called this meeting, after all."
She looked around at the 4 others, all that remained of their friends. Luna was dead, slit her wrists in the bathroom a week ago. Dean lay in hospital, having lost his mind to the Death Eaters, never to recover.
Memories whirled through her head, meeting Hermione, dancing with Neville, laughing with Luna. Cheering for Harry at the Triwizard Tournament. Quidditch games in the sunlight. Being Sorted. Dinners in the Great Hall. Waking up in the Chamber of Secrets and realizing, without a doubt, that her heart belonged to the green eyed, black haired boy who had rescued her.
"I wanted…I wanted to say goodbye, I guess. To you all. We're never going to see each other again, after tonight. And even though things are different now, we were friends once. I wanted to honor that. Our old friends. Those who are here, and those who aren't."
They nodded as one, and they remembered. She hugged her knees to her chest and willed herself not to cry. How she had wanted to say goodbye to him. To tell him that she loved him, no matter what he thought. That her heart had always belonged to him, and always would. That she would miss him, and think of him every day. But she couldn't, because he was gone.
"Is that all?"
Seamus looked at Ron, and Ginny nodded. Slowly everyone left, disappearing into the shadows of Hogwarts. She looked out the window again, at the bright stars, and wished for a world in which her friends would be reunited. She wished to turn back the clock, back to when they were kids.
It would never happen. She and Draco would be married in three days, and she would begin a life in the shadows. Bear his child, and be divorced in disgrace. Then he would marry another girl, one who would bring honor to the Malfoy name. She would disappear, as usual. Maybe she could find him. Maybe by then, he would have forgiven her.
She could only hope, as the tears finally fell, and for the first time, no one was there.
Note: This may or may not be over, if I get inspired I might do an epilogue. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, though I'm not sure any more if I like it or not. But the angst was fun to write, so.
