Disclaimer: As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I wonder what the hell I'm doing hiking in a place called 'the valley of the shadow of death'. Next time I'll go to the park or something. Meanwhile I don't own these characters.
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"So," Babs said, being uncharacteristically indirect about this, "You know I've been working with Black Canary?"
Dick blinked in mock-surprise. "Really?" he said, "You know I used to be Robin?" She slugged him again. "Ow!" he said, clutching his arm. She had aimed for the bruise intentionally that time. "Dammit Babs! Yes I know you work with Dinah. If the times you've worked with Dinah and me weren't enough, her walking in on me in your shower was the kind of clue you don't need world's greatest detective training to decipher. Violent woman..." he grumbled, rubbing at the bruised arms.
She crossed her arms and glared at him, asking, "All right then detective, why don't you tell me what I'm asking then?"
"Fine," Dick groused, "and don't call me detective. It makes me think I'm in bed with Ra's Al Ghul." This time he knew the blow was coming, and was able to grab her wrist before she could land a jab to his bruise again. "Ok," he said as an impromptu wrestling match broke out. He pinned her arms against her sides and pulled her onto his lap. "Barring the possibility that the question about Dinah was misdirection..." he paused, frowning, "You're planning on expanding, getting more agents. When did you decide this?"
Barbara struggled to break free of his grip, then gave up and leaned her head back against his chest. "About five seconds after I was sure you weren't going to break down and join Roy's team," she answered.
"Aw Babs..." Dick began, sighing. Turning her down was going to be harder than turning Roy down. She was way more devious and ruthless and Roy. "What's he going to think if I said no to him and than turned around and joined your team?"
"That you're whipped?" she said with a face of angelic innocence.
"I'm whipped by a sexless green floating head? Even Roy wouldn't buy that one without a few questions."
Babs scowled, turning to face him, "You're going to be a sexless floating head in a second soon-to-be former boy, wonder."
"As cute as you being threatening is, there's a few other points to bring up."
"Fine," she said matter-of-factly, "State your objections and I'll overcome them."
Dick sighed. 'Far more ruthless,' he thought. "Ok, while I don't want to join his team, Roy is my friend. Leaving aside hurt feelings for the moment, at some point he's going to need my help."
"And it's going to be your help he needs? No one else can handle it?" Babs asked just a bit too smoothly.
Dick frowned, "Well Batman could, but I don't exactly see that partnership forming anytime soon."
She gave him another leading question, "So you and Batman would be the only two in the world capable of helping Roy with his team's hypothetical problems?"
Dick blinked, getting an idea of where this was going. "He didn't! That lousy... Tim needs to be with people his own age! That's why Batman convinced him to join the Teen Titans! Just because Roy acts like a child-"
Babs, who had stifled a giggle when Dick went on his tirade, interrupted, "Not Tim! Someone else."
"Who else would-"
"Someone else Bruce trained."
The number of people Bruce has trained is a pretty short list. Leaving out all the unlikely answers such as Spoiler, or Babs herself, there was one obvious choice. Dick said, "He didn't..."
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Two weeks earlier...
When Roy had gone to Bludhaven, he'd carefully prepared his pitch for Dick, creating a step-by-step plan for how the conversation would progress, what objections he would need to overcome, and how he would finally bring him around. He'd wonder if he wasn't overdoing things when he caught Lian saying "We own the whirl the bust we half," (a slightly inaccurate repetition) around the house in a tone that would have sounded unbearably pompous were it not coming out of the mouth of a six year-old girl.
So, Roy went to make his pitch, and he'd gone all of halfway through his second sentence before Dick had interrupted with a flat 'No.' Things sort of fell apart from there.
All his efforts of the past few days had been focused on finding Batgirl, and now that she was here, he really didn't have a good idea how to proceed. "Well..." he said, stalling for time. Dick could be Captain Stoneface when he wanted to, but you could at least see his face and the lack of expression there. With Batgirl's cowl and mask completely covering her face, he'd have nothing to go by, nothing she didn't choose to show. "We owe the world the best we have..." he heard himself saying.
"Stop." she spoke in a flat voice. She crossed her arms and let her cape drape entirely around her. "Why?"
Roy blinked at that, "Why do we owe-"
"You want me to join team," she interrupted again. "Why?"
Dick had told him that Batgirl made Batman look talkative. He'd thought that might leave some hope that he'd be able to get his entire speech out in one piece. Obviously that wasn't the case. He paused and asked, "Why should you join the team?"
"Why do you want me to?" she asked. "Nightwing's a friend. You ask him. Now you ask me. Out of friends?"
'Did she just make fun of me?' Roy thought. 'There might be hope for this kid yet.' "Two reasons," he said, lifting a hand and extending his index finger, "First, as team leader, it's my responsibility to put together as good a team as I can. You guys have a skill-set that maybe a half-dozen people on the planet have. Since four of those are you, it cuts down on the recruiting options. I've seen it with Dick and the Titans, with Robin in Young Justice, and Batman with the JLA. Having a Bat makes a team better. Yes, I asked him. I've known him longer. He said no, I'm seeking options."
She stood there, evincing no reaction whatsoever. He didn't see much choice but to continue. He extended a second finger and said. "Capes sometimes have a real hard time learning that their powers aren't the solution to every problem. Having a teammate without a single meta-gene that makes everyone else feel like superhuman amateurs is a great motivator."
Batgirl made a very subtle movement. Her head bobbed slightly, and her shoulders shook. Roy blinked. 'Was that a laugh?'
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Present...
"He did," Babs confirmed. "Soooo," she said sweetly, "your friend won't need your help, and you're free to sign onto whatever team you like." She patted him on the cheek and says, "...so long as it's mine."
Sensing that the discussion was slipping away from him, Dick said, "Ok, let's address that. Why your team?" He held up a hand as he saw one of her fists clenching again and said, "I mean, what is your team going to be doing that Roy's team isn't?"
"Cleaning up after themselves?"
"I have shown you pictures of my apartment, right?"
"Y'know, you can't blame Alfred for that."
"I don't blame Alfred for that."
"I'm just saying. Bruce has lived with him all his life, and he's not a slob."
"That's because Bruce is the world's biggest tight-ass. And I don't blame Alfred for me being a slob!"
Barbara sighed, "In any case, that wasn't what I meant. The way you follow a case in Gotham or Bludhaven isn't the way you handled it with the Titans. I know it was a different situation, but it seems like most teams exist as threat-response units. With the intel I can dig up, we can search out problems before they threaten lives."
"So we'd be hunters?" Dick said, then he winced in sudden realization. She smiled at him. He had said 'we'. While they were in bed. She now had the ability to use girlfriend-logic to declare that a binding promise, one that would have a severe negative effect on their relationship should he choose to abrogate it. 'Far more devious...'
He was caught, and they both knew it, but she was gracious in victory. She placed her hands on his cheeks and said, "You don't think the world has enough firemen?" Dick leaned forward, and they kissed.
When they broke the kiss, he said, "I assume you have a team in mind?"
Barbara nodded and said, "A couple of them we're going to have to recruit." She pushed herself off of his lap and reached over towards her nightstand. She opened the drawer and pulled a manila folder out. "That'll be your job, of course."
"Of course," he said dryly, opening the envelope and pulling out a series of printouts with her prospective team's pictures. Dinah's picture was on the front. As he began to flip through her choices, his eyes slowly widened. "You. Have got. To be kidding..."
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What kind of team has she picked out for him anyway?
And how did Roy manage to get his 'really bad idea' past Batman?
Find out in Chapter 6
