THE NEXT EVENT - by Kolyaaa!
CHAPTER 11: THE HIKERS
A/N: Ah, first of all, I want to thank all of you for the feedback. I'd list every one of your names but that might come off as cheap. Let it be known that your words encourage me and bring light to my dark little Genii bunker under the barn. Without your encouragement I would be a frustrated, pock-marked, boil-riddled evil villain with nothing to do. And you know what happens when evil villains have nothing to do? We plot and plan and eventually do something horrible to those bastards in Atlantis. They're so damn smug with their floating city and their special stargate and their doo-dads and annoying scientists and their commanders with freakish hair. They sicken me!
A/N: To those on the mailing list who insist on maligning my dear Julie by making up stories regarding her state of health - you are wrong. The mere thought that she might be ill has made me unbearably morose. I have spent the afternoon kidnapping a veterinarian and whisking her away (blindfolded) to my barn and underground bunker. The vet (under duress but still acting awfully cocky) thoroughly checked out my lovely cow and has given Julie a clean bill of heath - mentioning only that dear Julie may be a bit on the chubby side. Then, when the vet tried to pull a fast one and escape me, I grabbed for her arm and - ah... I must have tripped or something because the next thing I knew I was staring up at the sky, seeing angels. She deceived me, because, although she wasn't big, but she was wiry! By the time I was able to stumble to my feet, the vet was long gone. But my mind is relieved. Julie is well. The rumor mongers can be soundly ignored. Now, if I could just figure out what to do with the growths on my posterior.
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"What are you humming?" McKay asked, obviously irritated.
"Oh?" Becket responded, distractedly. "Nothin'. Nothin' to worry your head over." And he gave McKay a little grin, to hide his nervousness. "Lovely day," he tried.
"Yeah, right," McKay snapped in return, "If you think the constant threat of volcanic eruption and earthquakes is a walk in the park, then the day is lovely as could be."
Beckett looked about at lush growth as they walked along the path, and continued his inane humming.
"Is that necessary?" McKay challenged.
Offering a quiet laugh, Beckett stated, "Just tryin' to keep myself calm. You know, find a little balance."
McKay snorted, and declared, "Not likely to happen here. Besides, if you're singing what I think you're singing...think about the words, will ya? You know, the part that goes, 'where me and my true love will never meet again?'"
Beckett's expression soured a little, then perked up again. "Still a nice tune."
McKay just sighed.
They continued their trek over the fantasyland, Beckett's tune slowly fading as McKay continued to shoot him irritated looks. The world seemed brimming with bushes so full of flowers that it made the whole place pink and purple. The trees were filled with puffy, frothy leaves of lime-green coupled with a garish yellow bloom, atop slender orange-ish trunks. In the distance, the volcanoes puffed and gurgled. All things considered, the steaming peaks seemed more ornamental than dangerous.
Beneath the trees, impossibly adorable rabbit-like characters peered at them and wiggled their delightful little noses, unafraid and looking as if they wanted to make friends. They seemed to be dyed in pastel Easter egg colors. Must be those nuttalli that Sheena had mentioned earlier, McKay reasoned.
It was hideous, McKay decided - in the worst possible taste. If one of those little monsters came near him, he'd slapshot it back to where it had come from. He glared at the things, their button-bright eyes shining back at him - radiating only affection. He didn't trust them. How could anyone trust something that annoyingly adorable? Their cozy cuteness made him want to puke.
The physicist kept his eyes on his scanner so as not to fall into their wretched thrall of sweetness. He hoped the next earth tremor opened up a crevasse and swallowed them all up.
"Cute little buggars," Beckett sighed, seeming to calm at the sight of the little sweeties. "Maybe we could bring a couple of 'em back to Atlantis."
"Do it and die," McKay responded under his breath.
Beckett smiled in return, seeing the irritation in the Canadian. "Would make lovely pets," he continued, baiting his friend. It was impossible to ignore the contempt that just dripped from the physicist. "You like cats, don't you? One of those would be a delightful replacement for one."
"Any cat with any self-respect whatsoever would rip the throat out of these things the instant it saw them!" McKay snapped back.
"I dunno," Beckett said, pulling a long face. "Seems too sweet for that." He watched one of the fluff-lumps hippity-hop in the lush grass. Hopefully, he uttered, "Maybe they'd fight back?" But the thing was far too cute and Beckett feared the thing would be lunch for anything that came across it. One of those things had no means of protecting itself and probably fed most of the food chain on this planet.
"So, you don't like them?" Beckett asked innocuously.
"I most certainly do not," McKay snapped back.
"Ah," Beckett replied. "A pity. I was thinkin' of getting' you one of the wee creatures for your birthday." And he enjoyed the grumble that emanated from the Canadian in return.
Behind them, Corporal Jerkin stated in his soft Texan drawl, "We kept rabbits back home."
"Oh," Beckett declared, happily. "I hear they make lovely pets."
"They're better in stew," the corporal told them.
Nonor had surmised that the animal they sought had created the path. She'd pointed out how flawlessly trodden the trail was. "Only the golden hooves of the alicorn might create such perfection."
McKay had exhaled loudly and replied that a good engineer with a plumb line and a yardstick could have achieved a better trail, but the response was met with hard stares from both the Satedans. Well, there was no help for them, Rodney decided; the two were bound to be lost forever in their ignorance.
They continued onward, following the gentle slope of the hill. Nonor led the way, dancing and prancing, her hair lifting and falling in a beautiful halo around her head, her toned skin shining in the perfect sunlight.
Beckett and McKay came next, huffing at times from the gain in altitude, finding themselves unable to keep their gaze from her flawlessly formed bottom that led them. They'd catch either other at it, and offer up stupid grins. Beckett would glance away at the scenery. McKay would go back to his scanner.
Corporal Jerkin followed, looking at the sweet little bunnies as if they were dinner.
Ronon took of the rear of the group, appearing glum and annoyed. A gray cloud seemed to form behind him, and somewhere nearby a little rain fell. But, undoubtedly, on the pretty, faultless (but somewhat shaky) planet, the rain would be warm and welcome, and would be quickly erased by the flawless sunlight. Off in the distance, volcanoes steamed, sending up happily little plumes.
When a gentle, fragrant breeze reached them, Rodney sneezed explosively, breaking the absolute calm of the day. Nonor threw him an annoyed look.
"Allergies!" McKay cried in response. "I got some pretty severe pollen allergies, and you can just bet that this world is riddled with some form of pollen designed to irritate my nasal passages. Absolutely riddled!"
Beckett made a clucking sound. Behind them, Ronon grunted, and Red mumbled. Nonor, turned toward him, rolled her eyes and faced forward, leading them onward.
"What? What?" McKay responded. "Oh, I get it. No one cares if I suffer."
"No," Beckett corrected. "That's not it at all. We just worry that we'll be sufferin' right along with you." And he cordially handed his friend a pocket-pack of Kleenex and hoped that would suffice until he could get his hands on his med kit.
They continued in silence for a time, the sound of their feet only interrupted by the occasional sniffling of McKay, and one or two good nose-blowings. Other than that, the day was beyond reproach.
Out of this quiet, Nonor started yammering, "Oh, long have I waited to set sight on this land!" She held out her arms, stretching them wide as if to encompass all that surrounded them. "It is beautiful beyond words!"
"Nearly as lovely as you, lass," Beckett cooed softly at her.
Nonor beamed. Ronon shot the doctor a dangerous look, while Red looked her up and down, with a satisfied grin. McKay did his best to keep his stomach from disgorging.
"It's a lovely land," Beckett added. "I mean, if you ignore the earthquakes and all that." He licked his lips nervously, trying to forget about that bit.
"All it's missing is the lollipop tree and a rainbow," McKay grumbled, glaring at his scanner. He had no time to defend himself as Nonor moved at him, grabbing (rather viciously in his mind) and spinning him about.
Nonor, her grip undoubtedly cutting off circulation to his arm, pointed with her free hand. There, just over the top of a tree garbed in garishly large fruit - a rainbow - the colors so bright it almost hurt his eyes to gaze in that direction. "Behold!" she breathed.
"Figures," Rodney muttered.
Ronon kept moving, passing their little group, leaving Red to cover their six. The Texan did so without comment.
Nonor, looking rather proud of this small victory, released her victim and skipped back to the front, catching up to her brother. Becket shoved his hands in his pocket and started humming, "Somewhere Over The Rainbow."
"Great," McKay grumbled, and kept up with the doctor. He glared at Beckett, hoping that would be enough to silence him. Carson kept it up, trying not to let the escaping chuckles ruin the pretty tune. Behind them, Red laughed.
Nonor spun about as she danced forward, smiling at her brother then back at her entourage. "It is just like when we were children," she sang. "We spent many a day dreaming of visiting this world of legend. Ronon loved to paint, trying to create a perfect…"
"Quiet," Ronon declared, his voice low and ominous.
Nonor smiled at him, warmly. "Oh, my dear, dear brother was a marvelous artist when he was a child! He may have painted with the masters one day if he'd kept it up and not devoted himself to becoming a soldier."
"Nonor, enough!" Ronon growled.
"Oh!" Nonor responded, sounding hurt. "I am proud of you, Ronon. If you had chosen that other path, you would've become nothing but a weak creature devoted to the non-physical arts. Those that follow that route are so pitiable. I am proud of your choices in life."
Ronon grunted.
McKay looked to Beckett and mouthed, "Pitiable?"
To that Beckett shrugged. Corporal Jerkin pulled up a long stalk of grass and stuck it between his teeth.
But she smiled sweetly. "He was so silly in this phase. His favorite images were posted in our eating chamber and usually depicted his imagining of THIS planet. Oh, he came SO CLOSE to matching the wonders of it. Did you clearly see it in your mind's eye, dear Ronnie?"
"Don't!" Ronon barked. "Don't call me that!"
"Ronon," she corrected. "He made the cleverest little nuttalli and the cutest felidae with their tiny little whiskers and their purple tails. He always put little bows on their tails. So cute."
"Wee whiskers, didja say?" Beckett echoed, sounding amused.
"Bows?" McKay added.
Corporal Jerkin waited, standing hipshot as he chewed on the stalk of grass, though his expression appeared to say, "Ronnie?"
Ronon pushed forward, leaving them behind. "I will not stand for this," he bellowed.
But his sister traipsed next to him, clasping his arm and laying her big head on his massive shoulder. "Brother, dear brother, forgive me. I only wanted to tell these people more about you. You will forgive me?" Her dewy eyes welled. "They obviously don't understand you as they should. They are not close to you as I am. They are not family."
"They know all they need," Ronon grumbled, glancing over his shoulder at the others.
"Yes," Rodney agreed. "That was plenty. Thank you!"
Beckett gave him an elbow in the side and McKay crossed his arms over his chest.
"Ronon, please," Nonor went on. "I am so sorry. You will love me still, won't you?"
Ronon grunted again.
"Please, Ronon, forgive me," Nonor went on piteously. "It's just that I had thought you dead, and you have come back to me – alive. It would break my heart to think you are angry with me. For years and years, I wept thinking of your horrid death. I worked it out in so many ways – and each death I imagined was more horrid than the last. Some were quite – imaginative." She shook her head, trying to get back on track. "My heart was frozen with that pain. Please, Ronon, tell me you forgive me."
Finally stopping his forward motion, Dex regarded his sister, seeing her trembling shoulders, her tear-filled eyes. With a sigh, he touched his sister on the arm and looked into her eyes. "I forgive you, sister."
"Oh joy!" she exclaimed.
"Glad we got that out of the way," McKay mumbled.
And they started moving forward again, Ronon and Nonor linking arms, with Beckett and McKay behind them – with their arms quite plainly at their sides.
Corporal Jerkin followed, pulling down on the brim of his cap as if it was a Stetson.
[{O}]
Bedevere was practically skipping, heading down off the plateau in the direction of the red cliffs with a joyous air. It was all Sheppard, Teyla and Boris could do to keep up with her. She stopped every few moments to photograph another flower or fern.
First, she'd stage a picture, checking the lighting, ensuring that no shadow fell over the scene, trying to find the best composition, and finally snapping the 'perfect' shot. And once she'd achieved everything she wanted, she'd quickly pluck the subject of her picture and deposit it into one of her endless supply of little baggies. She'd scribble a note on the packet and they'd continue on their way.
Sheppard watched the petite woman curiously, amazed at her seemingly endless energy. Rodney was like this when he saw anything Ancient, but, otherwise, he tended to drag his feet, always complaining about having to walk anywhere.
Bedevere had prattled on about hiking all the American national parks in her youth, and it seemed she hadn't been lying. "For instance, I walked the entire length of the Pacific Crest Trail," she said, smiling smugly. "The PCT -" and she winked as she used this abbreviation, as if only those 'in-the-know' were allowed to hear it "—Is, like, 2,650-miles long, and it starts in Mexico and runs all the way to Canada, past Yosemite, Crater Lake, Mount Rainier, across the Sierras and the Cascades. It's gorgeous. I mean, you haven't really hiked unless you've done the PCT."
"I've walked part of the Appalachian Trail," Boris said, scratching at his stubbled jaw.
"Oh please, they call that a trail?" Bedevere shook her head dismissively. "I walked that as a teenager. Pleasant, but nothing like the PCT. Of course, the hiking I did in the Andes is a whole 'nother story..."
Was there anything she hadn't done? Sheppard glanced to Teyla to see if she was keeping up with the rapid discourse. The Athosian had a pleasant smile and nodded to her from time to time, but seemed unable to understand most of what Bedevere said - and was perfectly happy in that state.
"You should consider doing it some time, the PCT," she told the others, looking eagerly from one to another, until her face fell with the sudden realization, "That is, the next time you're back on Earth."
They hit the flatlands off the plateau, and the earth had turned from blue to black. The trees seemed to be a more reasonable set of greens here, and were closer together down here. Sheppard finally decided to rein the woman in before she walked into...
"Quicksand!" she squealed frantically, stopping and staring down at what looked like just another patch of black sandy earth to the rest of them. She fluttered her hands at her sides, as if it might help her to keep her balance and prevent her from inexplicably toppling over, headfirst into the substance.
"What?" Teyla said, moving forward, tilting her head curiously. "What is quicksand?"
Boris pushed Bedevere back, and leaned over to stare intently at the ground. After a moment, he looked over at the Colonel.
"She's right, sir."
"And quicksand is...?" Teyla asked again.
Sheppard snorted, turned and picked up a blue and silver specked rock. With an eyebrow arch to Teyla, he tossed it into the patch of ground Bedevere had indicated.
Sure enough, the ground swallowed the rock. Teyla gasped—it was a new phenomenon for her.
"Huh," Sheppard's eyebrows lifted, and he looked at the doctor, who was swallowing nervously, showing that she wasn't quite as gung ho as before. Her hands had stopped flapping since Boris had pushed her back, but she was now nervously clenching them before her. "Nice spotting."
She shrugged. "Part of my geology course. We studied the effects of tides on the west coast of England, specifically the long wash of the Severn estuary. Quicksand is an extremely dangerous natural phenomenon there. I learned to discern dangerous areas of quicksand at a mere glance." She smiled weakly. "Good thing I'm here."
"Uh huh," Sheppard said. "Okay then...shall we move on?" He nodded to Bedevere. "And would you like to take the lead once more?"
"Um," she hesitated slightly, then smiled again. "How about we share it?"
Sheppard gave her a smirk, but moved to stand next to her. She nodded her thanks, and, together, with a lot less dashing about, the four skirted the quicksand and continued their "quest" for the alicorn.
[{O}]
Beckett kept his gaze moving, smiling contentedly at the vision of loveliness all around them, trying not to think about the possibility of earthquakes and volcanic eruptions. He kept trying to find the cute little nuttalli who seemed just as interested in them.
Rodney looked at the scanner. It was impossible to pinpoint any specific lifeform, he decided. This place was abounding in life, so the scanner was of little use, but his study of it meant he could look away from other things. Still, one had to remain alert.
He caught sight of one of those obnoxious creatures hopping from one tree to another. With a grimace, he asked, "You sure there's nothing here that can… hurt us?"
"Hurt you?" Nonor echoed, turning to McKay and giving him a haughty look. "Is that all you ever worry about."
For a moment, McKay looked taken aback, then he responded, "Well, yes. It's a healthy thing to be concerned about."
Scowling in disgust, Nonor turned, and continued her skipping stride. "There is nothing to fear on this planet. The
creatures here live in harmony and love. They have been untouched by the horrible hands of science and are left to live in peace."
"Horrible hands of science," Beckett repeated quietly to McKay.
Rodney held out one hand for examination. "I've been told that I have lovely hands," he said with a smile.
Beckett grinned in quiet conspiracy. Red looked away, not wanting to comment.
Nonor went on, oblivious, "It is not as if the vile molemen would come to the surface in the daylight." And suddenly she stopped, the mere thought of the creatures making her weak.
"Sister," Ronon called softly, still clasping her arm.
"They are creatures of darkness… and dirt!" she spat out the words. "They are disgusting and blind, living only to pull you beneath the surface and eat your flesh – right from the BONE!" She shuddered visibly.
Beckett looked concerned, and felt for his medical bag. McKay just sighed and shook his head.
"I am sorry, dear brother. The thought of the loathsome creatures made me weak for a moment. I shall continue." And she smiled bravely at her brother.
McKay just grimaced. To Beckett, he complained, "She thinks of a mole and gets weak, yet if I mention a little healthy concern over our safety…"
But Beckett had raised a hand to quiet him and strode on to catch up with the others.
The trail turned slowly, coming over a rise, and then to the crest of the hill. Nonor and Ronon stopped and tawny-haired woman let out a gasp.
The sunlight, coming up around her, gave Nonor a golden glow as she pointed urgently. Ronon was motionless beside her, looking intently at something still hidden from the others. They seemed locked, frozen in time.
Beckett considered whether Nonor was having another attack, when she suddenly proclaimed, "Alicorn!" She never turned toward them, as she clung to her brother. In pure glee, she cried, "I have seen an alicorn! Never have I felt such joy!"
McKay and Beckett scrambled to catch up, herded forward by Corporal Jerkin. They came around the siblings to gaze down the other side of the hill. There, near the base of the hill, stood the object of their quest – the single horned alicorn of legend.
"Oh, brother!" she exclaimed, her hands wrapped around Ronon's arm.
"Oh brother is right," McKay grumbled. "Looks more like a llama to me,"
TBC
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A/N: Let it be said one more time that I have adore your reviews. Every one of you who takes the time to pound out a note or two to me should be commended. I'd hug and kiss each of you, but I am an evil Genii and a) I don't do that sort of thing... and b) I should be careful about touching anyone until the flare up dies down a bit. The reviews... thank you.
A/N: Okay, so I ate the chicken! I couldn't help myself! I roasted it with butter and rosemary and it was good. I feasted with the lobsters, mongi and cobras (and by 'feasting with' I actually mean 'I also ate'). My larder is now well stocked with Mongoose Jam, pickled cobra and canned lobster bits. I am sated. Thank you, Julie, for the Venus Fly Traps! They did their job of capturing the creatures when I chased them pell-mell around the bunker. The Flytraps certainly grew quickly - and continue to surround the bunker. Meanwhile, Sydney the lizard has managed to vault out of the coffee pot - and that minx of a mongoose escaped my clutches. Might have missed a cobra or two. Now what should I expect?
A/N: GIVE ME MORE REVIEWS!
