THE NEXT EVENT - by Kolyaaa!

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE: THE HOMECOMING

A/N: HA HA HA! I made you wait a day! FOR NO REASON! That's the sort of thing I do. Why? Because I am an evil Genii! That's why! I am KOLYAAA! FEAR ME. And by the way.. I am not a wench. Check out the picture on my profile. My hat is pretty darn sexy. Women want me. Men want to be more like me. And leave reviews. Seriously, lots of them.

A/N: Julie, where are my glasses? There's lizards everywhere! My darling cow, what are they trying to tell me!

[{O}]

"They're in!" barked Ronon. "Go! Go!"

Sheppard pushed the jumper upward and resisted the urge to send a few more drones back down to blast away anything else he could on that godforsaken, 'Nightmare on Candycane Lane' of a planet.

He tuned out what little conversation there was in the rear of the ship. His thoughts drifted to Corporal 'Red' Jerkin, Sergeant Charles Boris and Doctor Robyn Bedevere and the letters he would have to write to their families. A moment later, guilt washed over him as he briefly thanked the-powers-that-be for not letting it be anyone on his own team.

He knew that Nonor had taken the seat behind his. He was acutely aware that, since the first time he met her, she was completely silent. He wondered how she would process the brutal reality of her people's grand legends. Acceptance seemed the only choice, but she struck him as the type who would carry denial to obscene lengths.

In the back of the jumper, Teyla laid a cold compress across Carson's forehead and covered him with a blanket. Carson had given McKay as much of an inspection as he could before succumbing to a dizzying assault on his equilibrium, at which point he seemed more than willing to let Ronon take over care of Rodney

"He's alive," Carson pronounced as Rodney slept. "Doesn't make sense," he muttered, closing his own eyes. "It's a bloody miracle."

Ronon laid a surprisingly gentle hand on McKay's healed shoulder, watching the scientist sleep, then glanced over at Teyla with Carson on the other bench. She returned the smile, before sitting down next to Carson's head.

And silence fell over them all, each lost in their own thoughts, as Sheppard guided the jumper for home.

[{O}]

"Ugh, God, what is that smell?!"

"That would be McKay."

"Where's the damn med team?"

"I've already alerted them, John. They're on their way."

"I'm doin' much better, lass, ya dinnae have to-"

"He's going down!"

"I've got him, Colonel. Dr. Beckett…please, sit."

"You're a good sort, Teyla. Why are my pants squishy?"

"What happened to my coat?"

"Colonel…" Elizabeth pressed the backs of the fingers of one hand lightly against her nostrils to prevent any more of the foul scent of entrails from penetrating her olfactory senses.

As soon as the puddle jumper had broken through the event horizon in the gateroom, she'd rushed up the steps to meet it in the jumper bay. Once it arrived, she positioned herself behind it, waiting for the bay door to open. Moments earlier, they'd received Sheppard's code for re-entry through the Atlantis gate. The colonel's terse request for a medical team in response to Elizabeth's radioed greeting made it clear that the mission didn't go as smoothly as they'd all hoped.

Sheppard now stood at the foot of the jumper's ramp and looked past Elizabeth, as if staring at the doorway across the room would bring the med team to them that much sooner. Elizabeth addressed him again, in a practiced, firm tone.

"Colonel."

Years of military convention immediately snapped Sheppard's attention to the commanding voice. Elizabeth glanced over the battered personnel in the jumper. Her stomach tightened as she noted the crew was three members short.

"What happened?"

Sheppard was still unconsciously clutching his arm to his chest. He seemed oblivious to his own injuries, but his somber expression indicated wounds of another sort.

"What didn't," he stated flatly. "We lost Jerkin, Boris and Bedevere." He didn't react to her wince, just continued with his report. "The place is a nightmare. That damn horn better cure cancer for what we just went through."

"Oh dear God." A soft accented whisper drew everyone's attention down to where Carson sat with his back against the doorway of the jumper. Teyla crouched close, still watching over him. He looked up at Sheppard and Weir and the raw emotion in his expression scared Elizabeth.

"Carson…what's wrong?"

"I'm…oh God, I'm sorry…I…the thing in the woods, I mean, it was Ronon…and I, I grabbed the gun."

Weir didn't understand anything that was going on and Carson's incoherent stuttering wasn't making it any clearer. "You were going to shoot Ronon?"

"No! Well, I might have. I thought he was goin' to attack us."

"What?!"

"Not him, but whatever it was I thought he was. And then that great bloody bird grabbed me and I don't remember if I..." His voice fell again to a whisper and his eyes, shining with moisture, met Sheppard's. "I think I left the goddamn horn back there."

A large, dark hand tousled the chief surgeon's damp hair. "No, you didn't. You think I would put up with the stench that's on McKay for nothing?" As he spoke, Ronon reached his arm up over his shoulder to withdraw something secured in the sheath sewn into the back lining of his vest.

Elizabeth's mouth fell open as she realized she was staring at the actual horn of a unicorn. Shades of red and dark brown discolored it and she felt uneasy as she wondered how they came by the horn.

Carson sighed loudly. "Oh bless you, son." But his tone immediately shifted. "And you never thought to mention this earlier?"

"Nobody asked. The ride home was kinda quiet." One corner of Ronon's mouth lifted in a slight smile and a mischievous glint lit his eyes. "I grabbed it before I came down to haul your butt out of the lake."

"I walked out on my own, thank you very much," replied Carson, mustering as much indignation as a concussed, damp, sand-encrusted man could.

"That was not walking," stated Ronon plainly.

Carson tried again. "I flew this ship."

Ronon and Sheppard answered simultaneously. "That was not flying."

Movement at the far end of the room caught Sheppard's attention. "Finally!"

Medical personnel rushed in and descended with practiced efficiency onto their patients. Sheppard spoke bluntly to the man attempting to exam his arm. "I can wait – get to McKay." He nodded toward the interior of the jumper.

"He's being seen to already, sir." The corpsman's controlled tone indicated the extent of his experience with patients who thought they knew better. "Right now I need you to come with me to the infirmary so we can get some ice and x-rays for that arm."

The metallic rattling of a gurney being wheeled from the jumper prevented any potential argument. A cannula delivering low flow O2 rested under McKay's nose and an IV tube snaked away from his arm and into a soft pouch of Ringer's lactate. His face was pale, and still-drying viscera, in a rainbow of Ctesias animal colors, clung to his clothes and matted his hair.

Elizabeth gasped softly at the sight of the large, ugly wound that encompassed McKay's shoulder and the black and purple bruises disappearing down his back. Skillfully wielded trauma scissors had stripped away layers of fabric and Sheppard was able to see, for the first time, the extent of his friend's injuries.

"Jeezus, McKay…you look worse than you smell." The humor of the comment rang hollow due to the amount of sincerity in it.

Amazingly, the blue eyes opened partially at that, glancing up at the colonel hovering over him through half-lidded eyes. Rodney's breath hitched slightly as the pain from his injured ribs hampered his speech. "Well maybe… if you hadn't waited so long to fire… the tub of sherbet and the Easter bunnies wouldn't… have been close enough to splatter."

"Well, that's ingratitude for ya!" Sheppard smiled. "I saved your life, remember?"

"Yeah," McKay whispered, eyes closing again, "I remember..."

"Okay, okay," Elizabeth's brow furrowed. "I think we need to get you all to the infirmary. Now."

The medic took Sheppard firmly by the arm, getting him moving after the gurney as McKay was wheeled away. A still muttering Carson was deposited in a wheelchair, and Teyla limped after him as he was wheeled off, not holding a sterile gauze to her face.

Elizabeth started to follow, then glanced back as a solemn figure stepped from the shadows of the jumper's interior. Ronon stopped on the bottom of the ramp, and he nodded to Weir. She stayed a moment longer, then nodded and left him alone...with his sister.

"Ronnie, you should go, too." Nonor emerged last, almost timid, and laid a hand lightly on her brother's arm. "A warrior may only be as strong as his mind, but without a healthy body – he is nothing."

She brushed a strand of her flawlessly beautiful tawny hair out of her eyes and looked soulfully at her sibling, only to have him narrow his eyes at her and answer in a low voice.

"Don't call me that." However, Ronon's shoulders sagged as his sister's expression changed abruptly and her lower lip began to quiver. "All right, all right. Don't. I will go. But you-"

She cut him off, addressing him with a perky, responsible tone in her voice. "I will be fine. I met many fine people here earlier. I am sure any one of them would be gladdened to share with me fresh clothes and a place for bathing."

Ronon shuddered inwardly at the commotion that could arise from such a simple plan if that idea involved his sister. He shook his head with resignation. "Go. But Sister…" He cocked his head slightly, inferring she be on her best behavior.

"Brother," she countered, "You do not have to worry about me anymore. I told you, will be fine." She tilted her head a little, "Of course, I will be better once I know you are fully healed." She smiled prettily, then indicated the door with a toss of her head, golden hair shimmering. "So...go. Please. I promise...all will be well now. It will."

The mix of seriousness and playful sparkle in her eyes made Ronon truly wonder if he had not witnessed his little sister growing up just a little. She kissed him lightly on the cheek and, with one last wink, bounced away, leaving him standing a little dumbfounded alone in the jumper bay.

[{O}]

Rodney heard the voices before his brain gave the order for his eyes to open. He lay still, appreciating the soft warmth of the pillow under his head and the blankets draped over his body. The voices were all well known to him. They afforded his mind and spirit the same comforting warmth that the bedding gave to his body.

However, there was a conspiratorial undercurrent to their volumes and tones.

"No, it's okay. He's with Nonor," stated Sheppard. "Last I saw, she had a flock of followers over on the North pier that were hanging on her every description of, what apparently is now, 'The Great Battle of Ctesias'. Ronon's chaperoning."

"Carson, I never said I didn't believe you-"

"I may have a minor concussion, Elizabeth, but it's not affected what I saw that woman do while he was all but near death, nor does it erase the things she said. He risked his life to save her from that bloody beast and she had no more kind words than he had blood in his body."

Sheppard concurred. "Well, she certainly wasn't shy about being hostile towards him after the incident with Teyla. I gotta say, it's sure got me rethinking what Rodney said he witnessed at the festival. And that alone is making it tough for me just to be in a room with her."

"I still have no memories of the competition," Teyla commented. "Perhaps that is best. I am filled with great anger at even the suggestion that Rodney's injuries could be linked to behaviors such as Dr. Beckett has described."

"And she had some of that healing salve the whole time he was suffering," Beckett said tiredly. "Only used it when he was about to die. Why couldn't she have brought it out sooner?"

Sheppard made an unpleasant sound. "Don't really know if I want someone like that around," he commented.

"I'll be the first to admit I've been more than a wee bit intimidated by Ronon on more than several occasions, but I'll stand toe to toe with him if he's gonna suggest that that ba'-heid stay here in Atlantis."

McKay's heavy lids were slow to open, but it didn't hamper him from speaking. "Oh God, he's getting as bad as Zelenka. Cursing in the native tongue now, are we, Carson?"

"McKay!" Sheppard grinned, moving over. "How are you feeling?"

"Please, how do you think?" Bruised blue eyes opened, turning to stare narrowly at the group. "And I take it, you're talking about Nonor?"

"Aye," Carson said, growling a little. "After what she did, Rodney, I'm—"

"If I could just interrupt your little feeding frenzy here with a voice of reason," Rodney interrupted, focusing on the small group gathered around him, "all things aside – she did save my life." He looked squarely at Sheppard, "If it hadn't been for her, you wouldn't have had anything to rescue, Sheppard."

More than one surprised expression greeted his statement. The scientist licked his lips and swallowed, trying to bring moisture to his dry throat. "Yes, hello. Seeing as I'm one of the topics of this conversation, I thought I might have some input."

He lifted one hand tiredly to stall an interruption as he found the strength to continue. "In case none of you caught on to the fact – not only did she use the last of the salve on my shoulder but she very easily could have left me in that field to be eaten. I even told her to. Well, the leaving part – I was actually hoping to avoid the being eaten part. She thought you all were dead – I didn't. But she still refused to go." He smiled, "And she was amazing, too. You shoulda seen her. I half think she might've won, even if Sheppard hadn't shown up..."

His friends' faces still displayed a range of emotions.

"I'm not saying I'm about to nominate her for the Nobel, but I don't think she's malicious – just not very bright. A five-year-old in the body of a…" his tired mind fumbled for an analogy, but came up empty. "…a thing that's really strong."

He pinched the bridge of his nose then shook his hand in the air, as if to erase his last sentence. "Point being – I'm here because of her, and that should count for something."

Elizabeth filled the subsequent silence with a diplomatic statement. "Well, we're all jumping to conclusions anyway. Ronon hasn't even asked if she can stay." She shifted her attention directly onto McKay and smiled warmly. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh well, ya know…I hurt. Quite a lot actually. I hope someone was taking notes because I think I have quite a few gaps I wouldn't mind getting filled in. What time is it?"

Sheppard interpreted the real question that McKay was asking. "You've been asleep for about twenty-two hours."

"Hmm, doesn't feel like it," he stated plainly. For the first time, he looked closely at his friends. Sheppard's arm was secured in a sling, Teyla's face bore a bandaged wound, and Carson sat up in the bed next to McKay's just looking tired. All sported a variety of scratches and bruises. "Oh God," he whispered as he remembered. "Poor Jerkin." He closed his eyes a moment before he asked, "Everyone else is okay?"

"We lost Boris and Bedevere, as well," Sheppard told him. McKay's eyes softened, and he looked up at the Colonel.

"And Ronon? And Nonor?"

"Good as gold," answered Carson. McKay gave a relieved smile, then blushed guiltily. Sheppard gave him a knowing look.

Clearing his throat, McKay turned narrowed his eyes at Beckett, then barked a mocking laugh as the realization of the chief medical officer's situation struck him. "Wait—you're a patient, too! Ha! Now you know how it feels." He stopped abruptly. "Wait, why are you here?"

"His head isn't as hard as yours," Sheppard replied, allowing a quirky grin to show.

Carson tried only briefly to suppress a smile. "It wouldn't do for me overrule a 24-hour observation order for a concussion. One of you would only use it against me in the future. But don't go gettin' cocky, Rodney… I've access to my rattle and feathers now."

McKay didn't bother to let anyone in on the joke. His mind was already racing ahead to other matters. "So what did we find out about the horn?"

The subsequent serious expressions were immediately apparent. "What? What's wrong?"

Teyla answered in a gentle tone. "It does not work."

"What?"

Carson elaborated. "That is, it doesn't work as a miracle drug on its own. The properties of the horn itself, when ground into a powder, act as a powerful coagulant. But from the preliminary studies the chemists have done – that's all it can do."

McKay shook his head in disbelief. "But we shot that thing and it didn't go down!"

"Aye, but seein' how the alicorn apparently devoured anything that moved - our subsequent theories are supported."

McKay waited barely a second for the physician to continue before prompting him, impatiently. "And those theories are…?"

"The salve is a combination of elements from many different creatures on Ctesias, not just one. Thanks to the amount of…residue on your clothes, we were able to match DNA to elements in the salve. The alicorn most likely healed so quickly because, due to its diet, it had a great build-up of all the right elements continuously flowin' through its system."

McKay flashed an incredulous expression. "So our little trip through 'It's A Sick World' was an enormous exercise in futility?"

"No," replied Carson, vehemently. He glanced at the already-healing bite mark on Teyla's cheek and showed a slight smile. "It appears as if somethin' in the chemical make-up of the nuttalli staves off infection. And we think that great, bloody flapping bird's contribution is to supercharge the liver. Something from it makes for better clearing of poisonous substances, aids in blood clotting; and since the liver is the only organ that can regenerate itself – it offers those restorative benefits as well but on a body-encompassing level.

"So far we've been able to track red blood cell production and stimulation of nerve end growth. It's quite remarkable. Unfortunately, nothin' we have adds up to bein' able to create the entire package of that salve. The genetics folks are gonna run the DNA samples through PCR testin' to see if they can generate more material for experimentation and possible medical use, but it's all very early right now. They need more time. It's bloody complicated. Probably took the best minds of the Ancients to come up with the thing."

Teyla broke in, patting Rodney's blanket-covered leg. "And you both need rest. We can-"

"Wait, wait, wait!" blurted McKay. "What about Ctesias? I mean, what's the next step?"

Elizabeth and Sheppard exchanged a look before Elizabeth answered. "I'm ruling it off-limits. We're not going back. From the team's debriefing I've garnered enough information to label it as too great a risk."

She left out her own strong assumptions that a possible airborne hallucinatory agent in the atmosphere was the most dangerous element of Ctesias. Bloodthirsty, rainbow-colored fluff balls, walking trees, talking molemen – definitely a planet that bred illusionary hysteria.

"Besides," added Sheppard, "Nonor explained the recipe to us during the debriefing. That virgin element is going to be a tough one to get. I'm thinking not too many volunteers for that kind of thing."

Carson pushed off his bed covers and slid his legs to the floor. "Elizabeth, could I trouble you to accompany me to Lab B? I just thought of something else I'd like the chemists to check for."

Elizabeth gave him a wary look. "You're sure you should be up?"

"Oh, I'm fine, lass. I just need you to cover me. If any of my overzealous caretakers see me up and around, I'll just tell them ya overrode my stern warnin' that I shouldn't be outta bed."

He slipped into a robe and tied the belt tightly before holding his arm out for Elizabeth to take. She couldn't help but smile at his audacity and put her arm through his as they left.

Teyla took that as her cue and squeezed McKay's forearm. She didn't say anything, but the look in her eyes communicated all she felt. It was good to see her friend getting better, and she suspected it was because of him that she was still with them at all.

She showed him a simple smile, nodded at the colonel and padded quietly from the room.

Sheppard fiddled briefly with the sling strap around his neck, seeming reluctant to leave. "Need anything?"

"Out of here."

"Anything I can get?"

"A blonde?" Though as soon as the words were out of his mouth, McKay winced. "Strike that, I've had enough for a lifetime."

Sheppard shoved his good hand into the pocket of his cargo pants and shook his head. "Pushed her out of the way, huh?"

"Moment of weakness," replied McKay, in a resigned tone.

"We'll make a warrior out of you yet."

"Ya know, there's nothing wrong with being a scientist. How come nobody ever wants to be a scientist?"

Sheppard attempted a sagely expression. "Warriors are the cool ones. Don't you want to be in with the 'in' crowd?"

"Recent experience has taught me that only gets the crap beaten out of you."

"That's crazy talk. You're getting better and better at it with each mission."

McKay met the colonel's eyes. "Really?" he asked, sincerely.

Sheppard raised two fingers. "Scout's honor." The expression that flitted across McKay's face reminded Sheppard of the skinny kid in jr. high P.E. that just got picked third for dodgeball, rather than last.

"You're on my team. I don't trust just anybody, ya know. A person's gotta earn it." He let those words sink in and hoped McKay understood what he meant.

Sheppard allowed himself to become more serious and looked McKay in the eyes. "You hung in back there. It might sound cliché but not giving up is what makes a great fighter." He cocked his head slightly and offered an afterthought. "Well, that and cool clothes."

McKay rolled his eyes, but a smile played on his lips. Sheppard lightly slapped at his friend's foot before drifting from the room. "We'll get Ronon to hook ya up."

Rodney let his eyes close and tried to chase from his head the vision of himself in the Satedan's ground-sweeping coat. Thank God Atlantis had dry cleaning!

TBC

A/N: If you fail me, and not pony up the reviews, this may be the LAST chapter you see! The fabulous "goodbye" might waste way in the back corner of my bunker where I keep my dirty socks. Get cracking with those reviews!

A/N: What the.. there's something on my foot! Sydney! Get off! Damn you! Julie! Get down here! Hey... what are you pointing at, my strange lizard tormentor? Well... would you look at that...