Special thanks to all who reviewed. You all get virtual brownies courtesy of my roommate who isn't getting any good reviews and so has extra to spare. Also, this chapter is very long compared to others I have written. If you like the longer chapters, please tell me and if you don't...well you can tell me that too.
Just a warning for you all, Borus has a really, really bad day in this chapter. And when I say really bad I mean the mother of all bad days. But it's fun for everyone else!
Also, in regards to a chapter about Landis, I want to catch bishounen, not creepy wingers who are obsessed with the grim reaper and death in general. Besides, he isn't even really "catchable" in Suikoden III. He just kind of pops into your party and decides to join the 108 stars.
Disclaimer:
Suikoden is not mine in any way, shape or form. I am reminded of this
fact every day and am only consoled by the realization that I own all
three games and the mangas (and the picture on my wall).
Chapter 5: The King of Bishounen: First Attempt aka Borus' Really Bad Day
After successfully capturing four bishounen, She considered Herself ready to go after Her intended quarry, Albert Silverberg. She recently received special intelligence that the green-eyed redhead would be meeting contacts at the town square inn in Vinay del Zexay over the weekend. Unfortunately, as the day was Monday, She had only a few days to conjure up a trap good enough to ensnare the clever Silverberg. She enlisted the help Percival and spent an exhausting week in the chemisty lab trying to mix up a substance suitable for a trap. Finally on Friday night, in a state of chemically induced fatigue, She accidently mixed together two chemicals labeled "Volatile" and exposed them to heat. After Percival and She got up from the floor, cleaned up all the broken glass and captured the hot mixture into a beaker, She noticed that it cooled off into a very valuable substance. The only problem was that there really was no time to test it. Granted, all of Her previous traps were also untested, but this was Albert Silverberg and he needed special consideration.
She found out that there was no need to worry though, as when She walked down the stairs to breakfast early Saturday morning, She heard an expression of indignation that sounded suspiciously like Borus coming from the dining area. She ran towards the sound, hoping Percival hadn't messed with Borus' cereal again. Of course, that was as futile as wishing the latter knight was not so gullible. Just a few days ago, the Swordsman of Gale somehow snuck some sort of insect in the other Knight's cereal and convinced him it was just a different type of raisin mixed in with the bran. Well, it actually worked until Borus actually bit into it. In trying to stop the impending fight She was instead fortunate enough to get hit by a 40 mph cereal bowl originally targeted at Percival. She stopped her jog and winced. She still had a bump on Her head from that incident, although…She smiled secretively, it was almost worth it to wake up to the vision of a concerned Percival leaning over you and a worried Borus pacing in the background.
She was jostled out of her reverie by another shout coming from the kitchen. This time there was no mistaking the anger in the voice.
"Come back here you little twit! I'll teach you to mess with a noble Knight of Zexen!"
She snorted as She quickly resumed her run towards the source of the sound. Noble knight indeed. That wasn't exactly the first word that came to mind when She thought of Borus. In fact, that wasn't even the second or third. She thought for a moment, then relented. He did try…sometimes. She rolled Her eyes, nearly bumping into Sharon near the entranceway to the dining hall.
"Sorry," the red-eyed girl mumbled rather unapologetically as she rushed in the opposite direction. She stopped to watch the future dragon knight round the corner towards the exercise yard, wondering again if it was a good idea to keep the mischievous girl here. She shrugged. Oh well. The girl certainly kept Futch on his toes. And, surprisingly, he seemed rather fond of her. Speaking of the bishounen dragon knight, he suddenly came rushing out of the hall.
"Sharon," Futch called out, the tone of his voice strained. He stopped when he reached Her, puffing with effort from chasing the energetic girl.
"She went that way," She responded to his beseeching eyes.
"Thanks," Futch gave Her a grateful smile before resuming his chase.
She watched him round the corner, a mysterious smile on Her face. There was nothing She loved more than watching Her bishounen…She grimaced…unless there were flying projectiles involved. This reminded Her of Her mission and caused Her to walk reluctantly to the entranceway of the hall. She stopped there and attempted to smother a laugh at the sight that greeted Her. There was poor Borus, attempting to get out of his chair, obviously stuck to the offending object, and there was Percival on the other side of the table, just about choking with laughter. Fred and Rico were looking at the scene with varying expressions of bemusement. Fred was no doubt trying to puzzle out what was going on and Rico was too polite to outright laugh at the struggling knight. She shook Her head. Just like Borus to let Percival lure him into one of Her traps…again.
"Someone is going to pay for this!" the blond Swordsman started out angrily while looking back at the chair. "…as soon as I get out…" he trailed off piteously, causing Her to feel a slight pang of remorse at the knight's condition. Then Borus recovered his...poise and resumed his rant. "Percival," he threatened, his eyes glittering with anger. "If you had something to do with this…" he shook a finger at his friend.
The addressed knight shrugged helplessly, still laughing.
Borus looked towards the entrance of the hall and noticed Her standing there, gazing at the scene with interest. His eyes took on a relieved expression. "Finally. Help arrives."
Well, She didn't know if She would go that far. Just because She agreed to keep the shock collar off him…But She carefully mustered up Her dignity and walked into the dining hall to attempt to salvage the situation. She didn't think Borus could hurt Percival in his present state anyway, which was good because Percival certainly couldn't defend himself with any sort of success doubled over in laughter such as he was.
"I don't know," She started reluctantly. You're not going to throw your cereal bowl again are you?" She continued facetiously.
Borus, however, took Her comment seriously and assumed a chastised expression. "Well…"
"He already did," offered Fred from a neighboring table, pointing at Percival who was indeed covered in cereal and milk. She wondered that She didn't notice that before. The knight himself didn't seem to notice or perhaps, just didn't care about his hygiene at the moment as he was completely wrapped up in the humor of his friend's predicament. She quickly stifled the grin that once again threatened to come to Her own lips at Borus' current situation.
"Percival." She nodded a greeting to him as solemnly as She could. "May I ask what exactly is going on here?"
Percival gasped for breath and turned to Her, still grinning. "I…er…that is…Sharon wanted to see if your new trap would work. And, as you can see, the trial run was a success."
She raised Her eyebrows in disbelief and turned to Percival to eliminate Borus from Her peripheral vision. She was having some difficulty restraining Her laughter and knew if he caught Her laughing it would ignite him further. "And whose idea was it to make Borus the lab rat?" As She gestured at the knight behind Her, Her mouth betrayed Her and twitched in a smile.
"What exactly are you inferring?" Percival tried and failed to twist his features into an expression resembling innocence. Failing this, he settled them back into a grin.
She gave in and smiled in spite of Herself before resuming an interrogating pose. "Can you honestly say you didn't con Sharon into putting my homemade superglue onto this chair and then dupe Borus into sitting in it?"
"Well," Percival cocked his head in feigned thoughtfulness. "Not honestly." His eyes glistened with tears of laughter and he struggled to keep a straight face.
She sighed and shook Her head. "I'd hate to see what you do to people you don't like." She took a deep breath in an attempt to compose Herself and turned to face Borus. She couldn't quite keep her eyes from sparkling in amusement but She was able to control Her laughter by biting Her lip.
"I assume you're going to fix this!" Borus crossed his arms and met Her eyes indignantly.
"Of course." Her eyes dropped to the ground in sudden realization. "Onlyyy… Ummm… That is…I don't have anything to…undo the…stickiness." She looked at Borus apologetically.
Borus' eyes widened in shock. "You don't…have…"
"Now Borus." She gestured placatingly with Her hands as the knight began to visibly hyperventilate. She wished She had some WD-40, but She used that up yesterday getting Sharon's gum out of Futch's hair.
"You can't get me free!" the Swordsman of Rage shouted in a panic while glaring at Percival, who dissolved in another fit of laughter at the announcement.
"Now Percival. This wasn't a very nice prank," She attempted to berate the laughing knight. "Imagine. Sweet-talking an innocent child into helping you embarrass your best friend."
"Hey! Wait a second now…Who are you calling innocent?" Percival raised an eyebrow at Her.
"Finally he was being avenged. About time," Borus thought as he gave a tight nod of agreement. The moment was fleeting though, as She could no longer contain Herself and finally joined Percival in a mutual fit of laughter.
"This is NOT funny!" Borus protested. "Guys!" His voice took on a note of desperation.
"You're right. You're right," She attempted to calm Herself down. "Oh, who'm I kidding?" She shrugged and broke down laughing again.
Borus stared at the Her and Percival, appalled. Just then Sharon came running into the dining room, a crowbar in hand. "Here ya go!" The miniature dragon knight offered the crowbar to Her with mischievous eyes. "Maybe you can pry him off with this." Her eyes glinted in delight. This place was much more fun than that broken down old castle.
Percival choked back a laugh.
"Sharon!" She attempted to appropriate a scandalized expression, which lost some of its effect since she was still grinning. "Where'd you find that?" She took the crowbar and made a show of carefully examining it. She looked at Borus and then at the crowbar, repeating the performance a couple of times and smiling at the knight's obvious discomfort.
"If you come anywhere near me with that," he warned.
She sighed in mock disappointment. "You're not much fun, Borus."
His eyes narrowed.
"I'm just kidding. I would never try to pry you off that chair with a crowbar."
"Awww. What a letdown." Sharon's shoulders slumped in disappointment.
She flashed Sharon a wicked grin. "Oh, don't worry, Sharon. I have you playing an integral role in helping me catch my next bishounen. I can guarantee that it will be…" She glanced at Borus "…interesting." She gave Sharon a wink.
Sharon grinned maliciously.
"Anyway, I'm sure our friend Percival here can think of a much more embar...er...creative solution to our problem here."
Percival cocked his head in thought, still smiling in amusement.
"Sharon!" sounded a berating voice. Everyone looked to see Futch standing in the entranceway, heaving with exhaustion, one hand on the doorframe for support.
Sharon put on an innocent look. "Oh. Hi Futch!" She waved at the dragon knight cheerfully.
"Hi…puff…Futch?" He questioned incredulously before collapsing in a heap by the entranceway.
She rushed towards the fallen figure of Futch, worry-lines creasing Her face. "Futch?" She knelt down by him and gently touched his shoulder before turning to the other bishounen. "I think we should leave him here this time. Look at him. He's exhausted! Poor exhausted dragon knight." She made sympathetic sounds directed at Futch and patted his hair soothingly.
"Poor…exhausted…dragon knight?" Borus sputtered. "What. Do I have to collapse in a heap of exhaustion to get some attention around here!"
She gave the knight a wry look. "I think you're getting a lot of attention Borus." She smiled. "Just because it's not the kind of attention you want…"
"I got it!" cried Percival one finger in the air in triumph. "I know how we can get him loose!"
She turned dubious eyes in Percival's direction. Hopefully he hadn't thought of an idea that would be too traumatizing for Borus.
Later in Vinay del Zexay
"Are you sure Borus is going to be okay?" She cast a concerned look at Percival.
"Sure," Percival smiled charmingly, turning to Her. So She was actually worried about his friend. Interesting. "Why wouldn't he be?"
She looked at Percival balefully. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because we had to cut his pants off to free him from the chair, causing him to be reduced to a state of extreme mortification?"
Percival grinned. "Oh yeah. That was fun."
She looked at the knight facetiously. "Oh yes. My favorite thing to do in the morning is prying potentially dangerous men off chairs."
"It's a good thing you had those sedatives on hand," Percival remarked cheerfully.
She glared at Percival. "Yeah...a very good thing, only then his head kept falling in his lap and getting in the way.".
"Yeah, but that was great thinking on your part to tip him and the chair on their sides," Percival's eyes glinted in amusement.
"And you were just a fantastic help," She retorted.
"I was observing." Percival met Her gaze innocently.
"You were drawing it out," She countered.
"Hey guys?" Sharon interrupted.
"What?" both Percival and She cried unanimously.
"Maybe we should try to be a little more inconspicuous," the girl rebuked them.
They looked around, noticing the many strange stares they were getting from the NPC townsfolk before grinning sheepishly at one another.
Sharon rolled her eyes in an exaggerated fashion. "And I thought Fred would be the one to give us away."
"What exactly is the plan, again?" the aforementioned knight asked.
She sighed wearily.
"Master Fred." Rico smiled up at him. "Don't you remember?"
Fred stared at his assistant blankly.
She glanced at Percival. "I knew there was a reason I brought Rico along."
"You and I are going to cause a distraction that causes Albert to get out of his seat. Then Sharon is going to sneak in and slather the glue on the chair. When he sits back down he should get stuck to it," Rico finished, staring at Fred with adoring eyes.
"Theoretically speaking," commented Percival.
Fred nodded slowly. "And why am I doing this again?"
"Because he is one fourth of the evil you're after," She immediately answered.
"Really?" Fred's eyes gleamed with anticipation. "And we're going to subdue him?"
"Uhhh…yeah, You could say that." Luckily Fred saved Her from elaborating on the situation by drilling Her with another question.
"Why isn't Percival helping with the distraction?"
"That would be too conspicuous," She replied. "A knight of Zexen, especially one of the Mighty Six, would never cause a scene in a public place… except maybe Borus."
"Oh," Fred nodded, accepting Her answer.
"Anyway, here we are," She whispered as they reached the door to the inn.
"Why are you whispering?" Percival whispered.
"I don't know," She whispered back, grinning. "Can you see him?" She asked Sharon.
"I see him. He's sitting at the table in the far right corner."
"My right or your right?" asked Fred.
Sharon looked at him disdainfully. "When you go through the door to the inn," she paused significantly, "turn right and go straight to the end. There's three other people sitting with him. He's the one with the purply-red hair. Even you can't miss him."
"Okay." Fred nodded eagerly. "Finally justice will be served."
Sharon turned to Her. "Why do you bring him along again?"
"He's actually a great help," She answered.
Sharon looked at her doubtfully.
She shrugged. "I know. I was surprised when I realized that as well."
As this exchange was occurring, Fred had taken matters into his own hands and burst into the inn. "Ah ha! There you are!" he exclaimed dramatically pointing an accusing finger at Albert.
Albert jerked back in surprise, but quickly recovered his composure. "Excuse me?" he answered coolly.
"Go, go!" She whispered to Sharon, shooing the girl into the inn.
Sharon quickly scurried into the inn. She hurriedly took Sharon's place by the window, cautiously peering in to watch Al…er…the scene.
"You heard me." Fred menacingly sauntered over to the strategist, Rico right on his heels.
Albert stood up. "You must be mistaken. I am…"
"I know who you are," Fred interrupted, a knowing smile on his face as Sharon rushed in and smothered the chair with glue unnoticed. Fred stopped in front of Albert and gave the strategist an intent look. "You are one-fourth of the evil I am searching for."
"Only one-fourth?" Albert questioned, smiling condescendingly at the knight. "Pray tell, who makes up the other three-fourths of this so-called evil?"
"Huh?" Fred stare changed to incomprehension.
Albert just sighed disdainfully.
"Uhhh. Just a second." He bustled out of the inn and turned to Her, who was still staring at the window. She ducked as Albert looked towards Her.
"Fred," She whispered urgently. "What are you doing?"
"He asked who the other three-fourths of the evil were and you didn't tell me that." Fred sounded reproachful.
She sighed in frustration and hit Her forehead with Her hand.
Sharon, who had already returned from her errand, groaned and even Percival's shoulders slumped with discouragement.
Fred hesitantly looked back and forth between the group, not exactly certain what he had done wrong.
She turned Her eyes back to the window, vainly hoping Albert would ignore Fred's suspicious behavior. Albert stood there for a moment, a contemplative expression on his face. He said something to his contacts and they quietly walked out of the inn. She and the group darted around to the side of the inn to escape detection and watched as the four walked down the street of the Vinay del Zexay.
Her bishounen looked at Her in sympathy.
"I failed." Fred sounded disbelieving. "In my defense, he doesn't really look evil."
Sharon's eyebrows rose and Percival gave the other knight a sardonic look.
She patted Fred on the back consolingly. "There, there, Fred." She sighed. "He was just too clever for us, that's all." Her eyes dimmed in disillusionment. In a falsely cheerful tone, She declared, "There's always next time!" This failed to hearten the team, who were sinking into Her grim mood.
"Next time huh?" a coldly sardonic voice interrupted Her pep talk. The team turned around simultaneously to none other than the Albert Silverberg. She froze in a mixture of shock and fascination. He was close enough for Her to reach out and touch.
He eyed Her scornfully as She and the rest of the members of Her group stood up. "Did Caesar put you up to this? No. Don't answer that. I can see you're working off your own prerogative." His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I heard rumors of a girl who was catching...hmmm…shall we say…young men of a…particular nature. I assume you are She." He smiled at his cleverness.
Percival purposefully matched the strategist's arrogant pose. "Maybe She is and then again, maybe She isn't."
Albert smirked. "Oh please," he patronized the entire group, before directly addressing Her. "I obviously have talent far superior to those you have…collected."
Her eyes glinted dangerously before assuming a haughty expression. "Perhaps," She responded carefully. "And then again, perhaps not." She smiled mysteriously. "You'd be surprised what people can do under proper motivation." Her eyes narrowed. "Actually maybe you wouldn't be." She fingered Her chin in thought.
Much to Her surprise (and delight) Albert affected a wary expression, if for only an instant, before once again regaining his composure. He smirked sardonically. "Well then, untill we meet again." The strategist gave Her a mocking bow before making his exit.
"Sweet dreams," She called, almost tauntingly, after him. She sighed longingly as he vanished into the crowd.
"You're goggling," Percival observed.
"I do not goggle!" She exclaimed in indignation.
"Well, you're goggling right now," Percival returned.
"You know, I have to agree with Percival this time," Sharon seconded.
"You guys are so supportive." Her eyes rolled with sarcasm.
They started to walk away when a sudden shout of shock came from inside the inn. The team rushed back inside to see what the commotion was about. Her eyes dazzled at the sight and She smiled ironically.
"Hey! What is this?" the voice cried.
"Caesar?" Percival stared at the strategist in astonishment.
She considered her catch for a moment. "Not quite what I had in mind, but not bad. Not bad at all."
"I DEMAND someone get me out of here RIGHT now!" Caesar…well…demanded.
"Oh crap." Her mouth curled in a grimace.
"You don't have anything to un-stick him do you," observed Percival.
"Nope."
Percival smiled dryly. "I'm not doing it."
She gave a dramatic sigh, then looked at the guys. "Okay, here's the new plan. Since you guys failed in catching Albert you get to carry Caesar out of the city."
"You were trying to catch Albert?" Caesar shouted incredulously.
The team ignored him. "That's not fair!" cried Percival. "I was just here for moral support."
"And yet I was still depressed when the trap failed."
"Shot down!" shouted Sharon, giving Her a high five.
Percival flinched and searched for another excuse. "Can't you just use your blinking mirror to get back to the castle?"
Caesar looked at Her sharply, forgetting Albert for the moment. "You have a blinking mirror?"
She ignored the strategist. "One of the mirror's limitations is that it doesn't work inside cities for some reason."
"How does it know when you're inside a city?" Percival inquired.
"I don't know. Maybe you should ask it. Now come on." She glared at Percival impatiently. "You can't con me, Percival."
He made one last, desperate attempt to get out of the work. "You did get to ogle Albert for a while."
She tapped Her foot impatiently.
Percival sighed. "All right." He walked over to one side of the chair.
"Hey!" Caesar glanced around the inn for support. "What are you doing? You can't do this to me! I am the main strategist for the Fire bringer army. They'll hunt you down!"
Percival glanced at Caesar. "Doubt it. Anyway, this is what you get for eavesdropping on your brother. Ready Fred? One…two…three." The two knights grunted as they hefted the chair.
"Unhand me at once! There will be serious repercussions for your actions!" By now Caesar was frantically waving his arms.
She looked at the strategist skeptically.
Sharon mimicked Her look. "Yeah. Whatever. I'd like to see them take on Her fortress."
"It's not exactly a fortress," She corrected.
"Oh. Riiight." Sharon winked at Her. "What I meant to say was, they wouldn't want to destroy her first-class resort, complete with beach, indoor swimming pool, hot tub and spa."
"Actually, it has both indoor and outdoor swimming pools, several hot tubs and a spa," corrected Percival.
"What. No beach?" commented a sarcastic Caesar.
"Not even a tanning booth," She grinned, enjoying the bantering.
Caesar gave her a dry look. "I see."
"They're very unhealthy for you, you know."
Percival grinned. "She is very concerned about our health."
"That explains why I'm eternally stuck to this chair." Caesar's voice dripped with sarcasm.
"Not eternally Caesar. The trap was tested out earlier and the victi…uh…subject was successfully freed without injury to himself."
"Well that's good." Caesar looked at Her distrustfully.
"You know, Caesar, I could use a first class strategist on my team."
Caesar's eyes lit up. "I'm listening."
Her mouth twitched. "Would you like to help me catch one?"
He glowered. "Very funny. He turned to Percival. "Does She always do this?"
"No," replied Percival, nonchalantly. "I'm usually responsible for teasing people." He sighed, pretending to be crestfallen.
"Sorry to take away your purpose in life Percy," She commented facetiously.
"I forgive you…" He managed to keep a small voice.
"Gee thanks." She rolled her eyes good-humouredly.
"But don't call me that."
Okay, for all you Borus lovers out there, I'm really, really sorry about this chapter. I'ts not that I don't like him, but it's so much fun to torture, I mean humiliate, errr cause him to be in a general state of distress. But look at the bright side, this could've happened in public. Anyway, please review. I live for them. If you have any ideas for a trap I could use in subsequent chapters please let me know by review or email. Otherwise you will be forced to wait an incredible amount of time before the next chapter comes up because I'm running out of ideas. Also, I would like to have Caesar help me catch one or two random bishounen before I go after my next major target so if you guys have any preferences on bishounen for me to write on, let me know and I will do my best to include them in the next one or two chapters! Thanks for reading!
