Coming Home

Spoilers: Not intentionally, but references to both seasons may slip in on occasion.

Rating: T for some mild language and potentially disturbing images in some chapters.

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis or any of the characters associated with it, unless you count Jesi.


Chapter Fifteen

"John."

Sheppard groaned and pulled the covers over his head, burrowing deeper into the musky mattress. Frail hands shook his shoulder and tugged the blanket away from his face.

"John, wake up."

Sheppard cracked open an eye and peered at the blurry face hovering above him. He rolled over, fisting the sleep from his gritty eyes.

"Atlantis... what time is it?"

"It is 'time' to decide whether you wish to return to your people -- or would you rather ascend?" Atlantis peeled the blankets back and helped Sheppard sit up. She handed him a mug of steaming liquid. "Drink this; it will help."

Sheppard took the mug, inhaling deeply. The dark liquid smelled faintly of mint and something dank – maybe a tree root. His body trembled with exertion; his muscles were tender and his knees and palms burned. He took a tentative sip, and then drank deeply. The warm brew lined his stomach and spread, dulling the deep muscle aches and banking to manageable embers the fire raging through his scrapes and bruises.

"This is good. You should send the recipe to Beckett!"

Sheppard drained the cup and handed it back to Atlantis. He watched her cross the room and rinse the mug in an old cast iron sink. When she finished and returned to his side, he studied her face.

"You look younger."

"Do I? Hmmm, that must mean you've made your decision." Atlantis patted his hand with a small smile. "You're going home."

"Oh, there was never any doubt about that!" Sheppard covered her hand with his and squeezed. "I'm not ready to ascend. I don't know if I'll ever be ready. So, how do I get back to my body?"

"Just think yourself there."

"That's it? Just 'think' my way home?" At her affirmative nod, Sheppard grinned. "Well okay then, let's go home." He leaned back on the bed and closed his eyes only to pop them open again when Atlantis placed a retraining hand on his stocking foot.

"You might want these first." She tossed his boots onto the bed and bit her lip to hide a smile.

"My boots... when did I lose those?" Sheppard slid his feet into the soft leather and laced them tight. "Okay, I'm ready."

"Close your eyes."

Sheppard did as Atlantis suggested. His body relaxed as her hypnotic voice painted a picture in his mind.

"Imagine yourself drifting over your body and merging with it. You will be home the next time you open your eyes."

Sheppard saw himself lying in an infirmary bed. Beckett stood next to him going over information on a data pad with a nurse. Sheppard drifted downward and hovered over his body for just a moment before slowly sinking home.


Jesi sat between the beds housing Sheppard and McKay and listened to Carson run down a list of instructions with the nurse. Carson had released her this morning, but she'd refused to leave. John was still here; Rodney was still here. She would stay until they were both awake and arguing. Only then would she feel comfortable returning to her own quarters. She glanced up as Dr. Weir entered the infirmary.

"Carson, how are our two patients this evening?" Weir offered the doctor and Jesi a smile.

"Ach lass, they're much the same. Rodney's throat is healing nicely; the swelling is greatly reduced. I'll likely remove the vent tomorrow or the next day." Beckett shook a finger in Sheppard's direction. "The Colonel doesn't appear ready to awaken, which has me a wee bit concerned. I thought he'd be up and about by now."

"Ah, Carson, you might have gotten your wish." Weir pointed behind the doctor.

Beckett spun around, surprised to find Sheppard's eyes half-open and tracking his every move. The doctor hurried to Sheppard's side, a grin spreading over his face.

"Colonel, I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever rejoin us." Beckett clicked on his penlight and flashed it in Sheppard's eyes, chuckling when the man batted it away. He donned his stethoscope and checked Sheppard's heart and lungs, sighing when everything sounded in perfect rhythm. "How do you feel, son?"

"Good... My team?" Sheppard turned his head, catching sight of Jesi in the chair and McKay in the bed. "Rodney...?" He struggled to sit up, but gave in when Weir and Beckett held him down.

"John, easy; Rodney's fine. He has an injured airway which needs time to heal." Weir brushed at the hair matted to Sheppard's forehead. "Carson has him sedated, but he's not as bad off as he looks."

Sheppard shot his friends concerned looks, but relaxed when Jesi nodded from behind Beckett.

"How long..."

"You've both been my guests for five days now. Would you care to sit up a wee bit?" Carson asked. At Sheppard's nod, he moved to the head of the bed and raised it slowly.

Sheppard gulped, fighting the roiling nausea. The room tilted and spun, playing games with his equilibrium. A hand gripped his shoulder, anchoring him to the bed until the room stopped moving. He glanced up into calm blue eyes that crinkled around the edges when Beckett smiled.

"Better?"

"Much. Thirsty..."

"Oh, right here, Colonel, sorry." Beckett used a spoon to dish out a few ice chips, sliding them between Sheppard's parted lips.

"Uhmmm, thanks." Sheppard swallowed reflexively, the cool ice putting out the fire that burned in his throat. He searched for Weir, finding her sitting next to Jesi; they were both watching him. "Ronon, Teyla... Lorne?"

"Everyone is just fine, banged up a bit, but okay." Weir glanced at Jesi before continuing. "We lost five marines, but Lorne and I took care of the family casualty notifications."

"Five marines..." Sheppard's hands tightened into fists around the blankets. "Damn it! I thought the weapon would save lives." He coughed roughly. "The Wraith saw us. They couldn't touch me, but they could hurt my mind! What good does that do us? Nothing! The weapon is useless." He coughed again, spitting up phlegm.

Beckett handed him a wad of Kleenex. "Calm down, Colonel, or you'll suffer a setback."

"John, the device wasn't a complete failure. You and Jesi successfully defended our teams on the planet. You single-handedly destroyed four hive ships! Some things might not have worked as well as we'd like, but I'd say the weapon was an overall success.

Sheppard forced himself to relax and breathed in slowly, counting to five, and then exhaled to another five-count. Once he had his emotions in control, he turned toward Weir.

"The question is can we fix the stuff that didn't work?"

"The man who can answer your question is lying right over there. As soon as he's better, you can ask him. I'm betting he's already devising solutions in his sleep." Weir smiled.

Sheppard's sympathetic eyes drifted to McKay. He knew the scientist would hate the leads, wires, and tubes sprouting from his body like potato roots. Rodney would definitely have a few choice words for Carson when he found out about the ventilator!

"When can he get rid of that contraption?"

"I'll start weaning him off the vent tonight. Hopefully he'll be completely free by tomorrow evening." Beckett coughed softly. When Weir glanced up, he jerked his head toward his office. "Colonel, I know you must be hungry. Can I send for a tray?"

"Maybe later, Doc. I'm still pretty sleepy." Sheppard yawned, catching sight of Beckett's frown. "I promise I'll eat later -- really."

"Aye, that you will or I'll not be removing the IV and catheter any time soon!"

Weir stood and stretched her arms above her head with a half groan – half yawn.

"I'll let you rest, John. I'm glad you're back among the cognizant!" She grinned and followed Beckett to his office.

"Huh, wonder what that little meeting's about." Sheppard's smirk faded as he caught sight of Jesi's solemn face. "What's wrong?"

Jesi shook her head, her eyes meeting his. "Nothing really... I'm glad you're okay. I was... worried about you, about Rodney. The Wraith are appalling! How do you get used to it... all that death and worrying about your team?"

Sheppard read the quick flash of fear that crossed her face.

"Training. The Air Force teaches us to bank the fear and follow our intuition. Even so, it doesn't negate stressing about my team. That's what keeps me on my toes, keeps me sharp."

"Now I understand why you didn't want me to stay here. When I saw you disappear, and I... thought you'd been killed, I almost lost it. Thanks to Major Lorne, I kept it together." Jesi looked down, picking at a dry patch of skin around her fingernail.

"What are you talking about, you were great! You helped activate the weapon."

"I feel like I should have been able to help Rodney. If I could have done more, he wouldn't be connected to a ventilator."

"You saved Rodney! If you hadn't taken out that Wraith, McKay would be dead. Atlantis reminded me recently that we can't control everything! Hasn't she been telling you the same thing?"

"Atlantis? No!" Jesi pulled her knees up, resting her chin on them, and hugged her legs.

"So... she doesn't bring you to strange places and chat – face to face?" Sheppard looked down at his hands rearranging the blankets as his shoulders tightened.

"No... Are you saying you've seen her?" When Sheppard ducked his head, Jesi jumped up from her chair, sat on the edge of his bed and grabbed his hands. "You have seen her! What did she say? What does she look like?"

"Shhh, I didn't say I'd seen her! I had two very vivid dreams about her, but I don't want Carson to think I'm nuts." Sheppard glanced toward Beckett's office before leaning closer to Jesi. "She's old, like the city. She's sweet, though. She tended my wounds and made me drink tea..."

He pulled his hands from her grasp and flipped them over, staring at the scrapes across his palms. He tossed back the covers and pulled up his pant legs, inhaling sharply at the deep bruising across both knees.

"It was real," He expelled a breath. "The path, the fog, the... everything."

Jesi gripped his hands, studying the red skin. "What happened to you?"

Sheppard raised dazed eyes to her worried face.

"Something wonderful," and then he laughed.


"What's wrong, Carson?" Weir asked, following him into his office.

"Ach, nothing, lass. Jesi looked upset, and I wanted to give her a wee bit of privacy with her brother." Beckett leaned against his desk as he studied the siblings through the observation window, and gave a slight nod. "Looks like they're having a serious conversation. Good, they both need it!" He turned away from the window and caught Weir's eye. "Now if we can get Rodney off that blasted vent, life can return to normal."

"I'm not so sure that'd be a good thing. You know how crazy 'normal' is around here!" Weir turned, startled by a loud commotion in the hallway. She relaxed when she saw Ronon stride into the infirmary, one arm in a cast, followed closely by Teyla and Major Lorne. She smiled as she watched them converge around Sheppard and McKay. "Can you believe how lucky we are to have such a fine group of people defending Atlantis? I don't ever want to lose them."

"Aye, that would be a tragedy, for sure." Beckett said as he observed the group of friends laughing, and trading handshakes and hugs. "It's good to see them laughing like that. We've not had enough joy since we arrived."

"Yes, I agree. There's nothing funny about living under constant threat. You and Kate do a wonderful job of monitoring everyone for signs of stress."

Aye, and I've my top three patients right here in the infirmary -- John, Rodney... and you. Are the sleeping pills helping with the bad dreams?"

Weir pursed her lips and looked at the floor. "They help a little, but the dreams are so vivid. I keep reliving Kolya trying to drag me through the gate, imagining what could have happened if John hadn't shot him." She shuddered and hugged herself. "The man is pure evil. Did you know he keeps lizards?" She shivered again. "I hate snakes, lizards and the like."

"What? Where did you hear that?" Beckett's mouth dropped open.

"Oh, Kolya's become a bit like bin Laden. He has an underground network who releases his writings from time to time. Teyla's people keep us informed when one surfaces. The man is crazy, but apparently a brilliant writer."

"Huh, one would never guess." When Beckett saw Sheppard yawn, he pushed off from his desk and headed to the outer room. "That's my cue."


"Colonel Sheppard, I wanted to say thanks for saving my ass last week. I came close to being Wraith steak." Lorne stuck out his hand and grinned when Sheppard accepted the handshake. "I saw my life flash past for a second there, Sir."

"I can't take credit. I distracted the bastard; Jesi finished him off." Sheppard squeezed Lorne's hand a little tighter before dropping the handshake. "She said you looked after her and Rodney when I lost the connection with the dimension jumper. I'd say we're even."

"Yes, thank you Marcus." Jesi slid off the edge of Sheppard's bed and hugged the soldier, grinning when his face turned scarlet. "I couldn't hug you then, but I can now."

"Ah, no problem, any time you want a hug, I'm your guy." Lorne's eyes sparkled as he caught sight of Sheppard's scowl. "What, boss? I thought you wanted me to try and distract her from Dr. McKay?"

Sheppard groaned and tossed up his hands as Jesi's eyes widened. His gaze met hers, and he watched as her lips thinned.

"John-John, we have to have a little talkie later."

"How is Dr. McKay?" Teyla asked as she stepped between Lorne and Sheppard. She watched as Ronon leaned over and whispered something to McKay before giving the scientist's knee a gentle squeeze.

"According to Carson, we may get our Rodney back tomorrow." Sheppard glanced at McKay's bed. "I hate to admit it, but I almost miss his mouth!"

"Enjoy it while you can, Sheppard." Ronon snorted.

The Satedan didn't fool Sheppard. He'd seen Ronon talking softly to McKay and sent the big guy a silent 'thank you' nod. Sheppard was in mid-yawn when his stomach growled.

"You are hungry... and tired. Shall I bring you something to eat before you rest?" Teyla asked.

"I'll take care of that, lass. Now, get out and let Colonel Sheppard rest. Jesi, that includes you. I want you sleeping in your own bed tonight." Carson bustled up and waved them away from the bed.

The group dispersed slowly with calls of good night to Sheppard and a caress or pat for McKay. Jesi was the last to leave. She leaned over and hugged Sheppard.

"I feel like I'm abandoning you. I know how much you hate this place. I'll be back tomorrow and sit with you and Rodney. Maybe I can be here when he wakes up."

It surprised Sheppard how drained he felt from the short visit with his team. He raised a tired hand and stroked Jesi's cheek.

"I'm not alone; Rodney's here. Go get some rest, and I'll see you tomorrow." He dropped his hand and yawned again just as Beckett strolled in with a tray of food.

Jesi kissed his cheek and hurried out before Beckett could censure her again.

Beckett placed the tray on the side table and rolled it in front of Sheppard.

"Here you are, soup and jello, the staple of any self-respecting infirmary I always say. If you put a decent dent in that food before I finish rounds, I'll remove the IV and catheter when I return." Beckett moved over to McKay's bed and began to check his vitals.

Sheppard managed to eat most of the soup and all the jello before Beckett finished checking his patients. When the doctor appeared beside the bed, Sheppard jumped.

"Sorry, Colonel, I didn't mean to startle you." Beckett checked the food tray and whistled softly. "You were hungry! It's refreshing that you ate so well without being pestered."

"I keep telling you, I pack away the food. I just burn it off again chasing after Rodney. Besides, I'd do anything to get rid of a catheter, doc!"

"Aye, if I were you, I'd likely feel the same. Let's rid you of your bonds then, shall we?" Beckett pulled the privacy curtain and removed the IV and catheter. "There you go. That should make you feel a bit more normal."

"Ah, doc, I feel so normal I have to make a trip to the 'little pilot's' room." Sheppard squirmed and gave the doctor his best hangdog pout. He watched Beckett's eyes, grinning when he saw the doctor give in.

"One trip to the restroom, and then it's off to bed with you."

Sheppard staggered when he tried to slide from the bed, but Beckett was there, supporting his weight and guiding him to the bathroom. Sheppard took care of his most pressing need before removing his shirt and splashing warm water over his head and chest. He dried off with a white infirmary towel and brushed his teeth with the complimentary toothbrush Beckett always kept in the cabinet. If Elizabeth only knew how many toothbrushes he'd accumulated over the past two years... Shaking off the thought, he answered Beckett's knock.

"I knew you'd wash up. Here, change into these."

"Thanks." Sheppard took the fresh scrubs the doctor handed him and slipped into them before padding across the infirmary, Beckett at his side. He stopped at McKay's bed, pitching his voice low.

"I know you hate this, McKay. When you wake up, we'll plan our escape."

"What was that, Colonel?" Beckett asked sharply.

"Nothing, doc, just wishing Rodney pleasant dreams."

Sheppard crossed to his bed and crawled under the covers. A nurse had changed his bedding and reclined the mattress, and Sheppard sank into his pillow with a sigh.

"G'night Carson." His eyelids drooped, and he turned his head in McKay's direction. The lights dimmed, and the scientist's shadowy outline was the last thing he saw before sleep claimed him.


He tried to swallow, but decided never to do that again. Scratchy brambles pierced his throat, and white-hot light behind his eyelids flashed in time with his heartbeat. Someone moaned. Poor guy sounds like he's in more pain than I am, he thought.

Soft hands stroked his cheek. He wondered vaguely whose hands they were, but couldn't seem to open his eyes to find out. The hands moved from his cheek to his forehead and back to his cheek. Murmured words reached his addled mind, their meaning becoming clearer as the minutes passed. Someone pressed his hand, and called his name. He tried to answer, but could not form words, only a hushed whimper. One hot tear escaped and trickled into his ear. The hands were there, dabbing up the moisture and stroking his hair. His body was road kill, squashed flat and stuck to the blistering tar.

He drifted for a while, aware of the babble of conversation around him. The hands continued their ministrations; sometimes a light feminine caress, other times a firmer masculine touch, but each meant to rouse him or offer comfort when he cried out in agony.

Darkness reared up and took him for a joy ride. He hid from the Wraith as darts swarmed past like evil hummingbirds. One Wraith caught him. The creature wrapped its clammy fingers around his neck, cutting off his oxygen past the point of conscious thought. His scream shattered the darkness, and he jerked up in the bed.

"Rodney, shhh, you'll damage your vocal chords and lose your voice permanently."

The firm hands were back, pressing him to the bed. He dragged open his eyes and blinked rapidly at the bright golden glow that encased Carson as the doctor hovered above him. Was he wearing a shiny halo? If Carson had a halo, he wanted one too! He reached up, grabbed the circle of light from above the doctor's head, and yanked.

"Rodney! What in the bloody Hell are you doing, man? You're pulling my hair!" Beckett let go of McKay's shoulders and grabbed the fists furiously tugging on his brown locks.

McKay held tight. He wanted the halo, and no voodoo doctor was going to take it from him. He dragged the halo to his chest and hugged it.

Beckett's muffled yelp had several nurses rushing to his side. They struggled to untangle McKay's fingers from Beckett's hair, finally succeeding. Beckett staggered away from his thrashing patient, hands scrubbing at his scalp.

"What's wrong with him, doc?" Sheppard asked, wiping sleep from his eyes. "Do you need help?"

"No, no, Colonel, you stay in bed. Rodney's just having a hard time. Some patients become violent when they wake from sedation; apparently Rodney is one of them."

Beckett stepped over and took the nurse's place, holding the man's flailing arm to the mattress. "Sarah, I hate to do it, but could you bring me the soft restraints?"

The nurse nodded and did as Beckett asked. Once they had McKay restrained, Beckett grasped him by both shoulders and shook gently.

"Rodney, look at me!"

McKay's head tossed from side to side, his eyes wide.

"Wraith... killing me," McKay struggled to force out the words. "Cars'n... hurts."

Beckett cringed at the rough whispered words. "Aye, lad, that Wraith did a number on you, but he's gone now. He can't harm you. I know your throat hurts; try not to talk..."

"No... Hurt everywhere." McKay moaned and closed his eyes. "Help me." Another tear escaped and slid down his cheek.

Beckett's head dropped, and he sighed. "Rodney, lad, I know you're in pain," He reached over and brushed away the moisture. "It'll get better, I promise. Just hush and go back to sleep." For a moment, he thought the scientist had drifted away, but McKay's body twitched and his eyes shot open.

"Teyla... Ronon, Jesi, Sheppard! Where's Sheppard?"

Sheppard slid from his bed and hurried to McKay.

"Hey, buddy, we're all good. You're the one we've been worried about." He clasped McKay's forearm and smiled down at his friend. "Be good and listen to Carson. Sleep, I'll be right here when you wake up. I'll give you all the gory details."

McKay's eyes connected with Sheppard's and held. "Wraith ships?"

With a negative shake of his head, Sheppard said, "No Wraith. We did it; we destroyed the ships and killed the bastard who did this to you, so relax. Concentrate on getting better, 'cause we have some work to do on the dimension jumpers."

From Sheppard's left, Beckett murmured, "I just slipped him some pain medicine, Colonel. He'll likely drift off in a moment."

"Thanks, doc, I'll stay with him until he's asleep," Sheppard said, his eyes never leaving McKay's.

"Work on... dimens'n jump'rs?" McKay asked as his lids drifted downward.

"Shhh, rest your voice. We'll talk about it later." Sheppard squeezed McKay's arm and watched him succumb to the pull of sleep. He stood and turned to face Beckett.

"He's asleep. Can we lose the restraints now? I don't want him to wake up wearing them."

Beckett nodded and removed the soft bindings from McKay's wrists and tucked them under the mattress, leaving the other end attached to the bedrail. He glanced up in time to catch Sheppard's disapproving frown.

"Ah, just in case we need them later. Now as for you, didn't I tell you to stay in bed? You don't listen well, Colonel." Beckett's serious face relaxed into a smile. "This time I'm glad you didn't listen to me. He needed to know you were okay, that the team was fine. Being there helped him."

"I'll always be here for my team. I don't know how not to be here for them." Sheppard dragged a hand through his hair, his forehead etched with worry lines. "At least he's finally off the vent. His neck is purple and black, Carson. He was near death." Sheppard swayed with reaction.

Beckett grasped Sheppard's elbow with a steadying hand and led him to his bed, helping him settle in.

"Aye, that he was, but you made sure that didn't happen, that your team made it back. You're funny that way, Colonel." Beckett's affectionate smile was contagious, drawing an answering one from Sheppard as the doctor adjusted the blankets around Sheppard's shoulders. "It's the middle of the night. I want you to be a good boy and copy Rodney. Get some rest."

"Hey, I said I was a good patient, but I've never claimed to be a good boy!" Sheppard smirked as the doctor walked away, shaking his head.


TBC

A/N: I'm sorry for the delay in posting the last two chapters. It stems from two things, the desire to write better, and illness. I've suffered from allergy/sinus crap for the last week and a half. I had just enough energy to get me through the workday and make dinner for the kids. I feel better this weekend, and hope I wrote a decent chapter. If not, blame it on the medication! (grins)