Itis 10 pm. Edward asks Bella if she wants to go to their beautiful meadow.
"It will look just as beautiful in the moonlight," Edward tells Bella. Bella smiles at Edward and says yes, sure, let's go. She remembers how peaceful it had been laying in the sun with Edward in the grassy field filled with purple and white flowers.
It is dark out. They can go to the meadow and star gaze. They can count the stars and howl at the moon. Well, not that. They aren't wolves or witches, they are vampires.
"Come on," Bella says. They go outside and hold hands and run towards the forest with super speed. They almost fly up to the top of the treetops. Bella has so much power now; this part of being a vampire is just so fun. They are high up in the air, perching on a branch like little love birds. Edward jumps all the way down and then Bella does as well. They slow down and walk through the dirt past in the forest until they find the clearing to their meadow.
Edward is wearing a watch on his wrist so he can keep track of the time. He doesn't want to lose track of time like he did that one time in his room. If the sun came up while they were lying on their meadow, there would be no dark place to put Bella to save her. She would burn to true death.
"We can't stay here much later than 3 am, okay Bella? I know from our experiment with the window that you won't like it if the sun comes up and we're here," Edward said. "I don't know if you'd survive it."
"I would," Bella insists.
"I'm not taking that risk. You shouldn't either," Edward said. He is still sad that his Bella became a vampire. He wonders if Bella has yet noticed her soul missing. He broods and wonders himself if Bella still has a soul or not.
"It's not that I want to burn. I just want to be able to be outside without burning," Bella said.
"I think it's like an allergy, Bella, or worse. You can't just force it to go away by facing it," Edward said.
"Fine," Bela said.
Bella and Edward are sitting on the grass and Bella leans in and kisses Edward. The sky is black, and the moon is almost full. They lay down and just look at each other. They are silent and still, their hearts do not beat, and they do not need to breathe. They are at peace. The stars whisper their names. The night is just as beautiful as the day to Bella, perhaps more beautiful. Especially since night-light didn't hurt. Daylight was excruciating and Bella hated it. It didn't mean she would stop trying to face it. She was determined that she would go tell Jacob that she was okay. She sensed that something supernatural was happening to Jacob and she wanted to go help him. Jacob was like a twin brother to Bella. He needed her and she needed him. The way siblings always do. But for now Bella could not go see Jacob. She was not ready.
She brought her mind back to Edward and smiled at him. She thought, I got my way. Edward didn't turn me, but I was turned anyways.
Time flies.
"We should probably leave soon," Edward says.
Bella sits up, still mesmerized.
"Yeah, we probably should," Bella says. "Race you!" she says.
And then the two vampires run through the woods and back to the Cullen house as fast as they can. They arrive there around 3:40 am and Edward gets there first.
"I guess you win," Bella said.
They go inside. Dawn is coming. Bella drinks a few rabbits and then the rest of the Cullens leave to hunt lions, tigers, and even bears. Bella is alone in the house and she wanders around it, avoiding the windows of course. For now. She thinks of calling Charlie but then she doesn't.
When Bella is alone, she remembers her one and only victim. She remembers how good the blood tasted coming right from someone's neck. It was such a sensual, beautiful experience, Bella muses. Some monster inside Bella is waking up. She wants to sneak out and find someone else to try. Just a little snack, she wouldn't kill the person, just have a taste.
Wow that was a dark thought, Bella realized. She closes her eyes and tries to will her conscience back to her. She thinks about the dream about Spike and his friend Angel the vampire with a soul. She wonders if she has a soul. She thinks she does, and she was willing to give it away for Edward anyways, but the thoughts she has been having makes her wonder. Sometimes she lets the thoughts come. She lets the demon in. Vampires kill, why can't she kill? Why is it wrong?
Because the Cullens don't do that.
You can't just be good for someone you look up to. You have to want to be good for yourself. And Bella wonders if she really does want to be good. She is tempted with the idea of Spike. She wants to do real bad things with Spike. Have lots of fun, lots of danger, lots of blood. Then she remembers how much she loves Edward and pushes those thoughts and temptations away.
She drifts off to sleep. And what happens? She has rough, passionate sex with Spike in her dreams. She lets him completely take her over in a way Edward never would. When she wakes up a few hours later she is troubled. Why won't the idea of Spike leave Bella alone?
She gets up and paces back and forth in the kitchen. She opens the fridge and gets out a blood bag. She drinks it hungrily and then grabs one more and downs it. That's enough for now. Human blood is so much tastier than bunny blood. When the Cullens find a way for Bella to hunt animals that aren't nocturnal she wouldn't need the blood bags, but that would come another day. Bella sits down and sighs. Immortality becomes her.
To be continued...
