A/N: This is a short one but I felt as if it should be a stand-alone chapter. Mature sexual content at the end. Hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think. I do not own Frozen or its characters those are the property of Disney.

Chapter 9: Rediscover

July 1844

Pieter stood in the nursery that would have been his daughter's, a daughter who would have been born any day now. It had been three months since they lost Astrid. The pain though always present ebbed and flowed in intensity. Elsa's mood seemed to fluctuate just as regularly; one day she was nearly the Elsa he had married, hard-headed, deceptively funny, thoughtful then the next she'd hid within herself, a zombie going through the motions, letting know one-touch or comfort her. It was maddening being so close yet so far from her each night. He hadn't slept in his own bed since before they found out Elsa was pregnant, the idea of their child growing within her bringing them together as nothing had. He wasn't sure if he should return to his bed again, he'd refrained so far, waiting for Elsa to tell him what she wanted. He knew she was hurting he was too, but they couldn't pause their life, they couldn't stand still in the loss of their little angel they needed to move on, they needed to heal, and they could only do that together. Pieter missed his wife, the feel of her body in his arms, of her subtle smooth skin beneath his fingertips, the giggles that escaped her ruby lips whenever he tried to kiss her neck, her cool breath on his chest as she fell asleep curled up on his chest. He'd lost a wife and two children already, he could not lose her as well.
The sudden bustle of movement and voices in Elsa's room signaled to him that his wife had finally given up on her work and dragged herself from her office to their suite. Pieter waited in his office, knowing it would take a while for the lady's maid to prepare Elsa for bed and the ladies-in-waiting to leave. Despite everything, Elsa had not stopped her nightly ritual of checking on him before bed. He never waited for her in their bedchamber, knowing the ladies-in-waiting would be uncomfortable with his presence there. Many still believe he slept in his own bedchamber, only his personal valet, Thomas, and Elsa's loyal lady's maid, Gerda knew of their sleeping arrangements.

So lost in thought he missed her quiet footsteps through the living room and into his office, "I'm going to head to bed now," her hushed voice floated to his ears. He turned to see her leaning against the door frame, something she didn't even do in Anna's presence. Her hair loose platinum blonde locks flowing down her back and over her slender shoulders. She wore a sheer pale pink nightgown with a v-shaped neckline. He could just see the roundness of her bosoms.

"I'll join you if that is alright with you." She gave him a small smile and a nod of the head before turning to leave. He had been prepared for some time now, always retiring well before his workaholic beloved. He wore pale blue silk pajamas with a maroon and gold dressing gown over top. She was already laying in bed by the time he'd put his things away and joined her. The fire in the hearth blazing, Gerda must have thrown in a few more logs before going. It wasn't usually needed in July, but Elsa's frequent nightmares caused the room to be rather cold most nights. She was sitting up watching him as he came in and took off his dressing gown. He slid in next to her, turned to her, and reached out pushing a few strands of hair from her face. "How was your day?"

She shrugged but settled down facing him, "better than yesterday but not as good as Monday." He did have to give her credit, on the days she wasn't completely overwhelmed with grief she made an effort to answer his questions. Anna had feared that Elsa would revert to her old habits of hiding her feelings, so Pieter had made her promise after a particularly hard two weeks early on that she would always answer his questions and be honest with him about her feelings.
"That is good. One day at a time right?"

She rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling, "One day at a time," she repeated automatically. There was no true belief in the words.

"It will take time." Pieter gently reminded her again.

"How long?" She turned to look at him, her eyes brimming with tears.

"I'll let you know." He wouldn't lie to her, the loss of his first wife and child still took his breath away at times, but it was less and less, especially now that he had her.

"That is not reassuring." She'd flipped back onto her back, her chest rising and falling with an increased rate with each passing second. Pieter slid over to her and pulled her into himself. He wrapped his arms around her and held her firm.

"Breathe with me," he ordered. He could feel frost crusting around his hands but he ignored it. He pushed his back against hers, let her feel his breathing pattern. "That's right, breath with me." He instructed as he began to feel her breathing even out. After a few moments later the frost melted and she was calm.

"I can't live like this, I can't function when these panic attacks could happen at any moment." She was exhausted mentally and physically. She was done with the pain. He understood that, felt the same often enough. He needed her more though so he coped as well as he could and if he couldn't he'd speak with Dr. Olsen or Kristoff. It helped him more than he cared to admit. Elsa only spoke with him from what he could gather from Anna. She'd crack here and there and confide in her sister, but Anna suspected Elsa was having a hard time being around the children, so they hadn't spent much time together as of late.

"They will less in time; but Elsa, you need to allow yourself to heal, to feel again, to move on." He decided it was time to honest with her, to tell her what needed to be done to heal. She opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off, "It's hard, I know. I can barely function some days too, but I force myself to get up and move on with my day. I force myself to appreciate what I do have," He looked down and caught her eyes, "a wonderful family, a profession I enjoy and am passionate about, friends who care for me, and a beautiful wife that I love very much."

She bit her lip and looked away but he would have none of it tonight. "I love you Elsa, more than I ever thought possible. I thank the Lord every day for your presence in my life, for guiding me to you. My heart hurts for all of I've lost, Astrid cuts the most right now, I will never stop loving her or my son and Harrietta, the pain of their loss with never truly subside, but it does become bearable, and at times a pillar of strength I can lean on." He let his words sink in before continuing. He pulled her closer and stroked her cheek with his thumb, "You have to let yourself feel again, you need to look towards the good things in your life, you need to give yourself permission to live, and you need to forgive yourself."

Her breath caught at his last statement. His suspicions confirmed as she closed her eyes and tried to pull away. "Her death was not your fault." He said firmer this time.

"Isn't it?" She sounds so small, so broken.

"It is not. You are of no fault in any of this." He attested. He knew she'd been blaming herself so unjustly. Laying culpability on her heart.

"I should never have gone, the council told me not to go. She'd still be alive if I had stayed in Arendelle."
He shook his head, "We don't know that. Babies die all the time Elsa. We can't be sure that fall or gunshot or blood loss is what killed our daughter, she may have passed anyway."

She looked indignant at the thought. "Even if she was developing normally, you couldn't have known what was going to happen, no one could have. You were right in wanting to go, to enjoy in a happy family event, events which you were deprived of most of your childhood." He placed his right hand on her heart and wrapped his left in hers, "The only person at fault is the assassin, not you, never you. Forgive yourself, let yourself live."

Tears rolled down her face as she looked into his eyes and only saw the truth in his words. She began to cry, her body convulsing from the force of anguish, she grabbed his pajama top in her hands, fisting the fabric in her fingers, frost spreading like tendrils from her body, Pieter did not flinch, he did not leave, he stood strong for her.

As her cries subsided and she looked up at him, teardrops resting on her cheeks, Pieter leaned down and kissed them away, he cupped her face, "Let me help heal you." She nodded slightly, acquiescing to his plea to help her, to love her. He leaned in taking her supple lips into his. He kissed her with all the love he possessed willing it into her soul. She returned his advances after just a moment. Her hands moving along his shoulder and arms, down his back, over his abdomen. He let his hands roam as well, rediscovering and peak and valley of her thin toned frame. He slid his hands down her legs and then up her thigh under her nightgown and found purchase on her round bottom. She bucked into him as he squeezed. His right hand moved up her tone belly and found its goal squeeze again causing another involuntary buck of her hips.

Her hands began making quick work of his buttons and soon his chest was bare to her. She moved her tantalizing kiss from his mouth down his neck, over his collar bone, and down his stomach. It was his turn to involuntarily buck his hips as she pushed the band of his pajamas down slightly and kissed that sensitive spot just above his pelvis. He yanked her up and kissed her fiercely, his hands independently making away with her nightgown. He paused to take in her full glory she was gorgeous and radiated in the firelight. He grabbed her and flipped her over. His fingers hooking under her underwear and pulling them off as his mouth reclaimed hers. Then his pants were off and he was exposed to him. Her eyes glistened in lust at his arousal.

He leaned over positioned himself, he paused looking at her for permission as he had done their first night together, "Please." she whispered and he slid in. She felt warm and tight around him. He paused to let her become reacquainted with
\his impressive girth and length. When she leaned up to kiss him he began sliding in and out of her, pulling one of her legs up so he could enter her deeper, she cried out in pleasure as he worked inside her, hitting her pleasure spot over and over again. He could feel the pressure building in both of them, she grew tighter and tighter around him and he grew harder and hard. He picked up the pace, trying to convey his love for her with each thrust. His mouth found hers as he released his side inside of her, he felt her come just after him. He collapsed on top over for just as second before taking hold of her and rolling them over so she rested on his chest with him still inside her. "I love you, Elsa."

"I love you, Pieter." His heart stopped a moment; his mind went blank, she'd never admitted her love for him before. His hopes soared that she, that they would be alright, that they would heal together, they would persevere and make a happy life together. He would make love to her several more times that night and the next day. The servants being ordered to stay away and to cancel their days. They spent the entire time rediscovering each other emotionally and physically. They repaired the foundations that had been damaged and were stronger for it.

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