A/N: Alright guys we are coming to the ending here. What isn't in this chapter will be in the next, with a short epilogue to follow. Thank you all so much for taking this journey with me. Your reviews have been uplifting and invaluable.

Disclaimer: Same as always.

ACT: 18

Max sat there facing Liz with a look of utter devastation on his face. She remembered him looking somewhat similar to this when he realized the futility of giving his brother more CPR. Tears flooded her eyes and rolled down her cheeks

"Max," she reached out a comforting hand only to have him flinch away from her. "I can explain," she pleaded.

"NO! That won't be necessary," he stood up and backed away from her, his eyes searching wildly for his car keys.

Liz stood up too and ran a shaking hand through her long dark hair. God! He looks so hurt, she thought. Her own soul felt just as wounded. She watched with a feeling of dread as he located his keys and headed for the front door. She had to tell him. It was now or never.

"I got pregnant by you seven years ago." Her words had all the impact of a bomb going off.

Max froze as the words filtered through his brain. Did she just say? No. He shook his head in denial before turning to face her. The look on her face was all the proof he needed.

Had he been thinking clearly, rationally, he would never have asked his next question. "What…how…did you have an abortion?"

He watched Liz's hand cover her mouth to stifle a sob as tears poured rapidly from her eyes. Unable to articulate words at this point, she merely shook her head.

"Adoption then. You had the child adopted out," Max went on determinedly. Denial could be a real bitch sometimes.

"Oh Max," Liz said sadly. And he knew right then and there he didn't want to hear her answer.

"I lost the baby in the accident," she made sure to emphasize the word accident.

"No. That's not possible." He stared at her blankly as his whole world began to crumble around him. He felt a sharp pain in the region of his chest and wondered if twenty-eight, nearly twenty-nine, was too young to have a heart attack.

"Did you never wonder why I was hospitalized for like a week after the accident? For gods sake Max, didn't you ever wonder why Tyler came after you the way he did? Why he was so angry? He overheard me and Maria talking about you and the baby right after I took the pregnancy test."

Her softly spoken words pierced Max's skin like a barrage of bullets, and he had no defense against them. He wanted to accuse her of keeping things from him. Of lying about the past.

But he couldn't.

Truth was he himself had never wanted to talk about the past. To him it served no purpose to open old wounds. He'd been content in the knowledge that as long as he and Liz were together now, the past no longer mattered.

He was wrong.

"Is that why you don't want to marry me," he asked numbly, "because I killed our baby?"

"That's not true Max," Liz sank down on the sofa because her legs would no longer support her. How could he believe she felt that way? She never wanted him to believe that.

"It's true that I lost the baby during the accident, but it was an ectopic pregnancy."

When he stared at her in confusion she continued. "In ectopic pregnancies the fetus settles somewhere outside the uterus leaving it very little room to grow. If caught early enough the doctor advises abortion. If it's not caught early wherever the fetus has settled eventually ruptures, endangering the mother's life. So you see Max, accident or no accident, it just wasn't meant to be," she said with quiet acceptance. And she really believed this too. Maybe for the first time since it happened.

Max took a few seconds to contemplate this. Due to Liz's latest revelation he felt less like a murderer, but this did not negate the hole left in his heart for a baby that would never be. Nor, did it answer his original question. With sad sigh he asked her one more time:

"So why don't you want to marry me?"

Liz didn't answer him right away. Instead she rose slowly and crossed the room until they were standing face to face, eye to eye. It was only then that she spoke, in a thin reedy voice:

"Nothing and I do mean nothing, in this world would make me happier than to be your wife. But I know you want more children Max, maybe even a son someday, and I can't give that to you. I can't have children anymore," she paused at his harshly indrawn breath before continuing, "and if anyone deserves more children it's you. I look at you with Jessie and my heart nearly burst at the love and attention you show her. I could only imagine how you'd feel about a child of your own."

"Liz it doesn't—"

"No," she stopped him from speaking by gently touching his lips with the fingers of her right hand. "I know you might think it doesn't matter right now, but it will. And I'd rather let you go than have you come to resent me one day for sometime I can't change."

"But Liz," he began, his voice full of anguish.

"Goodbye Max," she said the finality of her tone undeniable. Moving around him she opened the door and waited for him to leave.

With his shoulders slumped in weary resignation he did just that. And as soon as he was gone Liz slumped to the floor and cried like she hadn't cried since losing the baby.

MAY 21, 2005: Several days later.

Chemistry was crazy from the get-go

Neither one of us knew why

There was no better singer to listen to when you were feeling maudlin than Mary J. Blige. This thought floated through Liz's mind as she lay on the couch listening to the radio. Once again she'd lost the man she loved and she had no one to blame but herself.

While Max had been thinking in terms of building a future together she had been treading water, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

No.

That wasn't true.

We didn't build nothing overnight

Cuz love like this takes some time

She'd been hoping against hope that the past would not rare its ugly head again; when in reality it had never really gone away. How could it when she'd been keeping secrets? So all the naysayers, mainly her family, were right. She and Max didn't belong together.

People swore it off as a phase

Said we can't see that

Now from top to bottom

They see that we did that (yes)

Only they did belong together. Were in fact great together. And Jessie…Liz loved that child like her very own. So how did things get so out of control? So messed up?

Oh yeah, because of her.

Because of her insecurities. Because she felt like less than a whole woman she'd driven Max away. Pushed him out the door, literally. When he was all she ever wanted. He and Jessie. They had overcome so much, and like a fool she'd gone and thrown their chance at happiness away.

It's so true that (yes)

We've been through it (yes)

We've got some real sh (yes)

See baby we been…

Too strong for to long (and I can't live without you baby)

The only question now was how did she go about getting him back? Better yet, did he even want her back? Because she definitely couldn't live without him. Not this time. She only hoped it wasn't too late.

tbc…