A/N: I'm actually pleased with this chapter/song! Anyway, The original version of this song in The Producers is: The King of Broadway.
Disclaimer: Do you THINK I own Invader Zim and The Producers now? …Didn't think so.
The Best of All Invaders:
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The crowd dissipates and moments later Zim walks out of the judgment building. He glares at the horrible reviews that he received. With a resigned sigh, he puts the documents in his PAK and begins to walk to the docking bay where he left his Voot Cruiser.
Zim: I used to be the best. The best of all invaders. The best of everything, was mine to have each day.
He looks up and starts to march in tune to the music that seemingly came from nowhere.
Zim: I always had the biggest missions, the biggest breaks from said missions, my Tallests gave me the biggest tips. I never was the pits in anyway!
Suddenly a group of Irkens approach him.
A Group of Irkens: We believed in you, thousands couldn't! We believed in you, despite your worth! We believed in you, thousands couldn't! We believed in you despite the facts!
Zim completely ignores them, too wrapped up in his own self pity to notice.
Zim: I used to be the best.
Group: The best!
Zim: The best of all invaders.
Random passerby: It's good to be the best!
Zim continues to walk down the street, followed by the group of Irkens.
Zim: My praises they would sing, no one stood in my way.
His pace quickens and his singing has a tinge of anger in it.
Zim: My transports were always first class, the best sodas would fill my glass, Gir once forced me to ride an ass, (Donkey) you couldn't call me bad in anyway!
The group of Irkens grows in size and they swarm around him, glaring the whole time.
Group of Irkens: We believed in you, thousands couldn't! We believed in you, despite your worth! We believed in you, thousands couldn't! We believed in you despite your defects!
Zim, still oblivious, keeps singing.
Zim: There was a tiiiiime when I was young and naïve, a smeet, there was a time when I was boooold. There was a tiiiiime when each and every place… I touched… Would certainly explode!
Zim starts to wail loudly in dismay.
Group of Irkens: There was a time he wore the finest clothes. His boots were always cool.
Zim: Nooooow I drive a rented voot cruiser… That's… two weeks… overdue!
Group of Irkens: Poor ol' Zimmy, what a defect! Poor ol' Zimmy, what a jerk! Poor ol' Zimmy, what a loser! Poor ol' Zimmy, what a shame!
Zim stops crying and takes a packet of performance reviews from his PAK. Scowling when he sees the Empire's displeasure with his mission on Earth.
Zim: Such reviews! How dare they insult Zim in this manner? How quickly they forget that I am Zim the Irken, the first irken ever to blow out the power for nine years!
Group of Irkens: He finds pride in that!
Zim: You've all heard of the energy producing thingy? You're looking at the Irken who created the energy absorbing blob, it ate Tallest Miyuki!
Group of Irkens: What a tragic event!
Zim: I've spent my entire life being amazing! I was a student of the great Control Brain Tomachefski!
The Irken crowd looks intrigued.
Zim: Yes, he taught me everything I know. I'll never forget, h-he turned to me, on his deactivation date, and said: "Soldier Zim, ALAMENSHINLOOSHIMOCKIN! HEGIN TOGAGATION POCKIN PISHIPIPICOCKIN!
Random Irken: What does that mean?
Zim: Who knows, the technicians erased his mind then, hard to believe he even pronounced my name. But in my equivalent of a heart I knew what he was saying. He was saying "When you're down and out, and everyone thinks you're defective. That's the time to raise your arms up and shout 'ALL HAIL THE GLORIOUS IRKEN EMPIRE!'
The crowd cheers and Zim continues marching, but with renewed strength. His every step matches the music and he shows off to random members of the crowd. Finally he reaches the center of the city and he hoists himself up on his spider legs.
Zim: I used to be the best! The best of all invaders! Again I will be the best, and conquer planet Earth! They'll be parades in my honor. You'll see my name in lights again, statues erected to show my worthiness, my spirits high as cruisers again, I'll never be questioned again, I'll taste the fruits of victory again, no plethora of plights again, no banishments to food courts again, no frantic fits or fights again, favors in my sights again, I'll take those long vacations again, I'M GONNA SCALE THE HEIGHTS AGAIN! Zim the Irken will never drop, Zim the Irken will never stop! Zim the Irken will be on top, AGAIN!
A large crowd is gathered by now and watches in awe as Zim scales a tall building while singing. He grabs the Irken flag on the top of the building and screams the last words.
Zim: I'LL BE ON TOP AGAIN!
