A/N: The song featured in this chapter is based off of The Producer's"We Can Do It".
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim or The Producers.
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Shortly after, Zim lands back in his base on Earth. With a sigh, he sits down on the couch in the main room and begins to think of a new plan for Earth's conquest. Suddenly he jumps up and exclaims, "ZIM HAS GOT IT!" He begins to pace the living room, musing over his new plan. "I shall create a hypnotic musical on what the humans call.. Brood-woay! Then, for my performance will be the best source of entertainment EVER, all of the human population will watch it and become my slaves!" he broke off in a burst of maniacal laughter.
His gleefulness was cut short, however, due to Dib kicking the front door open and rushing in. He stopped in a battle stance, a water gun clutched in his hands. "You won't be hypnotizing anyone Zim!" the (annoying) human declared. Thinking fast, Zim tried to use spooky mind tricks on Dib to convert him to his side. "Why don't you help me do it?" he practically yelled, twitching when he realized the stupidity of his suggestion. Dib stood in shock for a moment, wondering what possessed Zim to say that. (Hey! I couldn't think of anything else!) He quickly regained his composure and replied, "WHAT! Are you insane, Zim? I'm trying to SAVE the human race, not enslave it! I would never turn against my own species! Besides, your plan isn't going to work anyway." Zim bristled, but quickly hid his anger, deciding to keep using his mind tricks. By that, I mean he decided to sing.
We Can Do it, You Pathetic Human:
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Zim walks over to Dib, a fake smile plastered on his face.
Zim: Don't you see Dib? Disgusting Dib, hideous human? It's so simple! Step one: We find the most ingenious play ever written. Step two: We hire the most brain-washable director in town. Step three: I raise two million Earth-monies!
Dib raises an eyebrow, too stunned to do anything else.
Dib: Two?
Zim: Yes, to fund the project! It must be great!
Zim: Step four: We hire the best actors on the Earth and open up on Brood-woay! And before you can say step five: The humans are hypnotized, they're in my control and I rule the Earth! With your assistance of course.
Dib seems to still be skeptical.
Dib: With my assistance? I'd never help you! AND YOUR PLAN IS GOING TO FAIL!
Zim carries on as though he wasn't just screamed at.
Zim: Oh ye of little faith!
He strikes a heroic pose.
Zim: (He has no clue who he's talking about and pronounces everyone's names wrong.) What did Leywis say to Clarv when everything looked bleak? What did Sire Ed-mend say to Tenksying as they pitifully struggled towards Everest Peak? What did Washigtong say to his troops as they crossed the Deelaware, I'm sure you're well aware!
Dib looks extremely skeptical now, wondering how Zim learned so much about Earth's history yet still pronounce everyone's names wrong. He smirks, doubting Zim knew the answers to his own questions.
Dib: What did they say?
Zim starts to march, grabbing a hold of Dib with one of his spider legs and dragging him along.
Zim: We… Can… Do it. We can do it. We can do it ME and you.
He says "you" with contempt.
Zim: We can do it, we can do it. We can make my dreams come true!
Zim drops a dazed Dib in front of him and explains…some…stuff.
Zim: Everything you've ever wanted is just waiting to be had! Pitiful slaves, wearing nothing but rags, serving you and praising you and driving you mad.
He resumes his march as Dib tries to struggle out of the spider legs grasp on his hair spike.
Zim: We can do it! We can do it. This is not the time to shirk. We can do it, you won't rue it! Say goodbye to planet Earth! Be Zim's slave-er… partner. Yes, Zim's partner! I mean you Dib prove your worth. We can do it, we can do it! And I know it's gonna work!
He drops Dib again.
Zim: What do you say Dib?
Dib gets up and seems oddly touched by Zim's words.
Dib: What do I say? An actual chance to be Earth's ruler. What do I say? Finally a chance to show the world that I'm not insane, sir. What do I say? What do I say?
Dib glares at Zim.
Dib: Here's what I say to you sir! I can't do it. I can't do it! I can't do it, that's not me. Earth is my home, I was born here. I protect it don't you see? When it comes to ruling slaves, there's a few things that I lack. Human slaves, wearing nothing but rags. Serving me and praising me, I'D SET THEM ALL FREE!
Zim looks shocked at first but his facial features quickly assume an expression of pure hatred. He slowly starts to advance towards Dib.
Zim: Why you pathetic, unworthy, wretched little caterpillar. Don't you ever want to become a butterfly?
Zim's spider legs extend out of his PAK, connecting together to form make-shift butterfly wings.
Zim: Don't you want to spread your wings and flap your way to enslavement!
Dib: NO!
Dib kicks one of the spider legs and runs out of the door as his adversary crashes down. Zim hurriedly retracts his mechanical legs and follows the human, throwing on his disguise. He spots Dib at the end of the cul-de-sac and sprints after him. Once he was close enough, they both began arguing.
(Zim and Dib Simultaneously,
Zim: We can do it, we can do it, we can destroy this planet. We can do it, WE CAN DO IT! Pick on others, not be picked on. C'mon Dib-stinko, can't you see-o?
Dib: Zim you moron, stop this song you've got me wrong. I'm a human trying to protect the planet you are on. Zim you jerk can't you see I'm not a crook. I'm just a human trying to save the Earth, I WON'T HELP YOU! I wooooon't do it!)
Dib stops in front of the skool, whirling around to face Zim.
Dib: You see leadership, I see jail!
He runs up the stairs to the skool building and places his hand on the door handle.
Zim: WE CAN DO IIIIIIT!
Dib: I WON'T DO IT!
Zim: WE CAN DO IIIIIIIIT!
Dib: I cannot, cannot, cannot, cannot do it! Cus I'd never help an alien!
Zim: We can do it, I know it cannot-
Dib: Gonna-
Dib and Zim: FAIL!
Dib enters the building, slamming the door closed.
