A/N: Sorry for the wait, and thanks to everyone who reviewed! It may take a while for me to write the next chapter because I have no clue how to make it Invader Zim related. The song that appears in this chapter is based on "I Wanna Be A Producer". And it is also based on the Original Broadway Cast Recording's version of that song.
Disclaimer: I dun' own Invader Zim or the Producers.
--------------
Dib entered Ms. Bitter's classroom and sat down at his desk. 'Become partners with Zim? He has to be up to something if he even considered that!' he thought, reviewing what had just occurred. Suddenly, the decrepit old teacher appeared in front of the chalkboard. "Class," the scary, snake-like woman began, "today's lecture is about global warming, and how it will cause the destruction of the world." She started to drone on about the topic, not paying any attention to the class. The students, excluding Dib, started to chant the same words over and over again.
I Wanna Be Earth's Protector:
--------
Students: Unhappy, unhappy, veeeeery unhappy. Unhappy, unhappy, very, very, very, very, very, very, very unhappy!
The students go back to drawing, sleeping, and generally being bored. Dib however starts to sing softly to himself. (Because EVERYONE sings in this fanfic/parody.)
Dib: I've spent my life being picked on, by skool bullies.
Class: Unhappy.
Dib: Where is praise of being Earth's savior?
Class: Unhappy.
Dib: I have a burning desire, to be respected. It sets my heart afire to see me in this role…
The classroom vanishes, leaving Dib completely alone in this empty space. He seems undeterred though, and keeps singing.
Dib: I want to be Earth's protector, proving the existence of aliens. I want to be Earth's protector, finding paranormal things all day. I want to be Earth's protector, dissect Zim on live TV. I wanna be Earth's protector, and show everyone I'm sane!
He starts to sing louder and more confidently as he strolls through the empty area he's in.
Dib: I want to be Earth's protector, and look for bigfoot.
Zita, Mary, Jessica, and Gretchen appear out of nowhere and hum to the music.
Dib: I wanna be Earth's protector, and save you,
He points to Mary.
Dib: You,
He points to Zita.
Dib: You,
He points to Gretchen somewhat reluctantly. Then looks at Jessica, remembering how much she insulted him.
Dib: Not you.
Jessica pouts while the other girls continue humming.
Dib: I want to be Earth's protector, win a medal for my efforts! I want to be Earth's protector, and be responsible for Earth's survival!
Dib, for whatever reason, begins to tap dance. The girls look at each other, shrug, and join him. They stop after a moment and begin singing.
Girls: He wants to be a protector of his home planet Earth. He wants to be Earth's protector, every pocket stuffed with,
Jessica: CASH!
Girls: He wants to be Earth's protector, save us from the Irken empire!
Zita: Oh, wow!
Mary: Ohhhhh neat!
Jessica: Ew, him?
Gretchen: YES!
Girls: He wants to be Earth's protector, with a great big club of fans.
They all start tap dancing again. Jessica and Dib sending glares at each other the entire time.
Dib: I wanna be,
Girls: He wants to be,
Dib: I want to be,
Girls: He wants to be,
Dib: I wanna be the greatest, grandest, and most respected protector of the world!
A platform rises out of the ground and carries Dib up.
Girl: He wants to be planet Earth's savior! He wants recognition for his efforts!
Dib: I just got to be the world's protector, and stop Zim from ruling Earth!
Girls: Stop Zim from ruling the Earth!
Dib: I want to be Earth's protector, show the world that I am right. I'm gonna show the world that Zim's an alien, read my name in Crop Circles magazine.
The platform stops and the entire area begins to shake. Zita, Jessica, Mary, and a very sad Gretchen disappear. Dib closes his eyes and attempts to finish.
Dib: I WANT TO BE EARTH'S PROTECTOR-
Before he can, however, the platform comes crashing down and he blacks out. He opens his eyes and realizes he is back in the classroom. He sighs.
Dib: And I am, but no one… can see.
Class: Unhappy, unhappy, so unhappy, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very saaaaaad.
Dib: I want to be Earth's protector…
Dib slams his head on his desk. Slowly he lifts himself up, looking around the room. He doesn't have the urge to sing at the moment, so he speaks normally.
Dib: Hold everything… What am I doing here? Zim's plan might actually succeed, and I'm not doing anything about it?
He stands up, the entire class staring at him.
Dib: What have I done? I have to get back to his base!
Ms. Bitters slithers over to him, her eyes narrowed dangerously.
Ms. Bitters: Dib! Where do you think you're going?
His excitement outweighs his fear of being sent to the underground classrooms, instead of sinking back down into his chair he stares the demonic teacher straight in the eye.
Dib: Ms. Bitters, I have to save the world from Zim right now, AND I'M NOT INSANE! I'm going to pretend to be his partner, help him with his plan, and then destroy the hypnotic machine!
He breaks into song again as he rushes over to the door, leaving a confused class and an agitated Ms. Bitters behind.
Dib: I'm gonna save planet Earth! Expose Zim once and for alllllll! I'm gonna be Earth's protector, look out Zim, cus' here I coooooooome!
He runs into the hallway, slamming the door behind him.
