Distribution: Ask and you shall receive.
Notes: Nothing new to add, all previous notes apply. Oh there may be some offensive words for some people in this chapter, so ummm...don't kill me okay?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the recognizible characters.
Chapter Five
An hour after the incident at Victoria's Secret the trio found themselves safely back at John's home. The dark haired man not wanting to spend anymore time at the mall then he had already done, especially after what had happened. Marc had informed John that he was planning to spend the night with the duo, if only to make sure the two didn't kill each other. He had only spent half a day with the pair and could tell the two were at odds constantly. Although he did get a kick out the stupid argument they had in the car over what type of music should be played for the trip home.
"What the hell are we watchin'?" John asked from his position besides the redheaded diva.
Lita shrugged, "This is one of my favorite shows."
John blinked, "Does it have a name?"
"Trading Spaces."
John glanced at his cousin, who was trying desperately not to laugh. "I'll never understand you women."
Lita smirked, "We weren't meant to be understood."
"Whatever." John mumbled before turning his attention back to his cousin. "What are ya doin' tomorrow?"
Marc shrugged, "Nothing really. Same old shit, different day. Don't forget we gotta go your parents for dinner tomorrow."
John nodded before glancing at his 'captive'. "You don't mind do ya?"
"As long as I'm being feed I don't care." Lita stated as she pulled her hair up into a high ponytail, unaware that the action drew the attention of the two men in the room with her. Because of the action her little shirt lifted slightly giving both men a nice view of her well formed stomach.
Someone coughed and John spoke, "Yeah well I ain't that cruel that I'd starve ya."
Lita rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't have held it passed you if you tried."
Blue eyes glared and John coughed lightly into his hand. "Bitch."
"Asshole."
"Skank."
"Dipshit."
"Slut."
"Man whore."
"Two cent whore!"
Lita scoffed, "I'm worth a whole lot more then two cents." She waited a beat before adding, "Cock sucker."
John laughed, "I hate to disappoint ya but I'm afraid that that's your job. Twat."
The redhead's face soon matched her hair as stood ready to give that no good prick John Cena a piece of her mind. A clap from the arm chair behind her drew the pairs attention.
"Children, children. Please, I'm tryin' to enjoy myself 'ere and havin' the two of you argue isn't really an enjoyment, although I do have to say it is rather amusin' watchin' the two of you tryin' to come up with names for each other."
"No one asked you Marc!" Both Lita and John exclaimed.
Predka couldn't help but laugh at the expression on both their faces. "You two are to much."
Crossing his arms, John rolled his eyes before he stole the remote from Lita and changed the channel. A pillow soon coming in contact with his head.
"I was watching that."
"Tough shit. This ain't your house." John replied as he flipped through the channels till he came across 8 Mile on VH1.
Lita scowled as she sat cross legged on the couch, her arms crossed of her night shirt. "You're obsessed you know that right?"
"Do you ever shut up?" John snapped as he swung his legs over the arm of the chair he was sitting in.
"Not when I know that it annoys you." Lita supplied evenly.
Marc tried to restrain from laughing. He had to admit the woman knew just how to get under his cousins skin.
"I shoulda left ya somewhere on the side of the road."
"Yeah real smart idea dipshit. Marc wouldn't have stopped anyway. Isn't that right?" Lita asked, turning to face Marc.
The bald man's hands shooting up as if to surrender. "Hey, don't be bringing me into this now. I ain't sidin' wit' either of ya."
John snorted, "Bullshit. You've been defending her since she got 'ere."
Marc laughed, "And that's cause she knows how to piss ya off. Like I said I like this girl, she keeps you in check."
"Man no one can tame me."
Before Marc could reply there was a loud thump and a string of laughter. Lita had fallen of the couch laughing at John's comment. The redhead curled up on the floor as she tried to stop laughing, tears rolling from closed eyes from laughing so hard. Lita took in a few deep breathes as she sat up, a hand moving up to wipe at the tears that fell.
"So...so now you're an animal?" Lita choked out, trying not to laugh. "No one can tame you!" The redhead failed miserably as laughter overcame her again.
"Woman go to my room!" John pointed to the stairs.
The redhead's laughter died down as she looked at him and blink, an eyebrow raised in question. "Excuse me?" She asked over Marc's laughing.
"Ya heard me. Go. To. My. Room. Or do I gotta yell it?" John asked.
"I heard you the first time. Why the hell would I go to your room?"
"Because I don't trust ya in one of the guest rooms. Now get."
The woman scowled as she sat on the carpet defiantly. John brow rose when she didn't move. He shrugged, turning the volume on the TV louder. The diva's scowl never leaving her face as she finally grew tired of being ignored and stood up grabbing the Waldenbooks bag before she headed upstairs, leaving the two men to enjoy the movie.
-X-
Two hours later, John and Marc finished the VH1 showing of 8 Mile. John wished his cousin good night before heading upstairs to change into boxers and a shirt before heading off to bed. He assumed the redhead had fallen asleep as there hadn't been a single sound heard from the diva. Sighing, John ran a hand through his hair as he approached his room, the door closed. Reaching out he turned the doorknob and pushed the door open, an eyebrow raised in question at the redheaded diva standing by his dresser with a bottle of his favorite cologne in her hand.
"What the hell are ya doin'?"
Lita jumped in surprise nearly dropping the bottle of Old Spice. A hand coming up to her heart, a glare sent in his direction.
"Don't do that."
"Well don't be snooping in my shit." He replied stepping into the room his eyes growing wide at the destruction. "Woman! What the fuck did you do to my room!"
The redhead smiled innocently. "Nothing." John stared at her in disbelief. "I swear it was like this when I got here."
John ran a hand through his hair as he took in the sight of his once semi-clean room. It looked like a total pigsty now. The clothes that were once hung nicely in his closet were now thrown haphazardly on the floor. The drawers on his nightstand table were open. The covers of his bed on the floor, his TV on. He ran a hand down his face glaring at her.
"Ya best be cleanin' this up." He growled making his way over to her and snatching the bottle of cologne from her hand. The diva's arms crossing beneath her breast.
"I don't have to do shit."
"Oh really? I think you do. You made this mess you clean it."
A finger came up to poke him in the chest. "You shouldn't have left me alone bored out of my mind."
"Ya had those books. How could ya have been bored enough to decide that ya needed to go through my shit?"
Lita smirked, "I can only take so much reading."
Blue eyes rolled, "What do ya want me to do entertain ya?" he snorted, "I ain't gonna do shit, now tomorrow you're gonna clean up this mess before we leave for my 'rents house."
Lita frowned, however any comment she may have had died as the brown haired wrestler grumbled and looked through his dresser pulling out a pair of boxers and a white wife beater before heading into the joint bathroom and closing the door.
A few minutes later, John stepped out of bathroom and threw the clothes he changed out of into the basket by his door. He glanced at the bed to see the redhead forced on some sort of animal show.
"What are you watching now?" John asked as he approached the bed and climbed in, keeping his distance from the redhead.
"Animal Precinct on Animal Planet."
John rolled his eyes.
"John?"
"Yeah?"
"Why do you have a teddy bear?" Lita giggled softly as she thrusted the brown teddy bear holding a red heart in front of his face.
Blue eyes blinked, before he quickly snatched the bear from her hand. "It's from an ex-girlfriend." He mumbled, leaning over the side of the bed and stuffing the bear under it.
Lita smirked before shaking her head and focusing on the show once more. "Oh, John you might also want to keep girls' from looking under your bed. Seriously, we don't want to have to see those kind of things. Why would you need five shoe boxes filled with condoms? Do you like not get any or something? And why do you have a couple of boxes of Playboy magazines? Are you like not satisfied or something?"
John scowled. The woman was defiantly nosy. Too nosy for his taste. "Woman, no one told you to look around my damn room."
She simply shrugged before burying into the covers and turning the television off, the room losing all light as the two 'tried' to go to bed.
"Do you mind?" Lita spoke breaking the ten minute silence that had formed.
"What the hell did I do now?"
"You're touching me."
"Well excuse me for trying to get comfortable on MY bed." John snapped as he turned on his side.
"Yeah well you don't have to touch me."
"Lita. The damn bed is a king. Ya got plenty of room on your damn side of the bed so stop complaining."
Silence reigned once more. However, it was once again broken. This time by the sound of a hand connecting loudly with a solid form.
"What the fuck!" John hissed as he rubbed his chest.
"I told you not to touch me and that includes my damn ass you retard."
"I didn't mean to touch you're ass."
Hazel eyes rolled in the darkness. "I'm sure."
The light in the room turned on and the two blinked trying to adjust.
"People are trying to sleep, but that's kinda hard when the two of you don't know how to shut the hell up." Marc snapped from the doorway.
Lita quickly pointed to John. "He started it."
Marc glared at John.
"Sure believe her. What happened to family love? She was the one who smacked me."
"That's because you touched my ass."
"I said I was sorry."
"This wouldn't have had happened if you had just let me sleep in one of the guest rooms."
"I don't trust ya. Marc what the hell are ya doing?" John blinked as Marc climbed in between them.
"Since you two don't know how to behave, I'm gonna have to make sure you don't kill each other." Marc answered.
"Bro...that does not mean that I want ya in my bed."
"That sounded really wrong John." Lita said with a giggle.
"No one asked you."
"John go turn off the light and go to bed." Marc snapped.
John mimicked him but got out of bed to turn off the light. He blindly made his way back to bed and crawled in. This wasn't exactly the way he thought things were going to go. He felt like a little kid, who had to be under constant watch. He grumbled more as he tugged the covers up.
The three managed to fall asleep without any further trouble. Well for the most part. The bed space was rather cramped as it was and it didn't help things that Lita happened to be a kicker or at least that's what she had claimed. Sometime during the night, the redhead had tossed and turned kicking at the nearest body which happened to be Marc. The bald man grumbled in his sleep as he tried moving away from the diva. In the process causing his cousin to move further towards the edge of the bed. Marc inched further away until John was finally pushed off the bed, the wrestler landing on the floor with a loud thump that somehow went unheard by the two still occupying the bed. John stood his feet and blinked as he rubbed his face, trying to rid the aching that was forming from how he landed. The blue eyed superstar tried climbing back into his previous spot only for it to now be occupied by his cousin. With a hiss John blindly walked around the bed and managed to rolled the diva over without waking her. He easily slid under the covers, praying to God that he wouldn't get kicked off once more.
