FAN FICTION AU AND TIME TRAVEL

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Summary

Female Harry Potter (Juniper) wins the war but the cost is too much so she performs a ritual and performs dimension travel after much research when she is 24. Her counterpart is Cordelia Faye Black, the daughter of Altair Black and Adelaide Malfoy. Has memories of both the worlds. Lives in France. When Juniper (Harry) seeps into consciousness, she is 14. Born on Beltane. Thus even though she is a girl, she has a high standing among the Blacks. Has gone to Beauxabatons for her first three years. Born on May 1, 1927. Start school in 1938. Goes to Hogwarts in 1942. Meets Tom Riddle. (Romance and power play)

Disclaimer: The characters and the world in the story belong to J.K. Rowling. I am not earning any profit from it.

Note: I have been a fanfiction reader for quite a lot of years before I gave this fic a shot, so if you see any ideas seeping in that I do not openly acknowledge, just let me know and I will add the credits. I have read too many to keep a track of them but I will try my best.

1) The idea of totems belongs to Catsarecool who is writing A Maurader's plan .

2) The basic idea of dimension travel comes from Hollow Thunder, Vital Lightning by Aariya07. You will see quite a few similarities in the first couple of chapters but it diverges after that.

3) This is a gender bender. Harry was born a girl as Juniper Anastasia Potter. Everything is as it is in canon except for her romances. This is not because I don't read slash or like it. You will see a lot of them in my favorites but because I don't think that I could do justice to that genre and because I want to do this. If you do not like such fics, do not read. Please do not flame. I will welcome criticisms, I know I am not perfect, just don't meaninglessly bash me for nothing.


For your references

"Talk"

"Thought"

"Parseltongue"


Chapter 12: Memories

Tom's POV

Tom was just preparing for bed. He cast a tempus, if his estimation of time each night had been correct then Cordelia would be entering his room just about now.

The door opened with a squeak, quickly shut itself and he heard a few low hisses . He turned around to see Cordelia dispelling the Disillusion charm and her head appeared followed by the rest of her body. She had a stole wrapped around her usual nightwear, a pair of silk pajamas with a long shirt. This time, it was full sleeved.

"You haven't even gotten to bed!" She asked as she moved towards him.

"We are deciding that you are not going to compromise your sleep just so that I can sleep."Tom said tartly.

"Ughh.." She grimaced.

"What? You need to sleep, you cannot function without sleep, the same way I cannot, so we ARE working out a compromise." He said pointedly.

"Of course, of course." She said hurriedly, but she looked unhappy.

"Good." Tom nodded. He muffed the pillows, "I assume you have put up silencing and privacy wards along with a difficult locking spell."

"Duh" She looked at him.

"What's Duh?" He asked.

"Err. Nothing. Yes, I have put up charms obviously." She repeated, shaking her head.

"It means obviously." He asked. She rolled her eyes and nodded.

"Is it a french .." He asked.

"Nah. It's a 'me' thing." She said, climbing on the bed, mentally berating herself for using the expression from future.

"Okay," He nodded, sitting right across her, "You need to sleep. I know and admit that I don't sleep well without you…" he trailed off.

"I am keeping watch over you for at least 3 days a week. The rest of the days, I am going to bring my trunk, there is a two bed bedroom in it. We are sleeping there. I will still be near in case you have nightmares, because I refuse to let you deal with them alone. Just knowing that I am there, might give you some respite. I have worked out my schedule. I will take naps in the day and study when I am watching over you. I will sleep a bit more on the weekend and shift the work to nights as well. I will put a silencio so that you aren't disturbed and I will just use a quotation quill. Is that okay?" She said seriously, looking him right in the eye.

"That surprisingly sounds very reasonable." Tom said, a bit taken aback.

She huffed, "I am reasonable but I agree with you. I can't take care of you if I am exhausted which I want to do nor any other work or sort out things for all my cousins which I am expected to do. So, yes, I compromise."

Tom nodded, "It is feasible for me."

"Good, I also thought we could use 15 minutes each night to work a bit on Occulumency if you want to. We can slowly increase the duration and fit into other slots as we get stuff done." She continued in her work mode.

"Okay, how do we begin?" Tom nodded.

"I am not risking or raping you by entering you when you are unprepared. That is just an invasion of mind which I don't approve of. So, we are going to do some little exercises and little meditation and you are going to try building your first defense walls before we end this term. You might need a little upper hand because as illegal as it is, there might be other people beside Dumbledore who will try to look into your mind once your lordship is declared. I am considering it almost an inevitable. We will test the shields a week before we go for the break. Even feeble shields can help thwart an attack because most people will just try a subtle, low brush. I don't think anybody would be idiot enough to do a full blown attack. We can continue working on it next semester. I will give you a couple of books that might help you understand the theory of it in morning. You can read through them if and when you have time, but the practical should give you enough to work with." She began in full lecture mode.

Tom didn't laugh, he just nodded.

"The first instruction is to clear your mind. I find that tedious. Instead of not thinking about anything, think about a single thing. For a start, see a candle with a flame in your mind and maintain the image for 5 minutes, without straying your thoughts or opening your eyes. It's exhausting, so we will leave it there the first time. We will gradually work with it tomorrow and onward. Close your eyes and think" She muttered.


Cordelia's POV

"How did I do?" Tom asked.

"Not bad. 3 minutes 53 seconds." She spoke. Tom did not look happy.

"Most people take a week to get there Tom, relax, we will get it. Now attempt the image of something that relaxes you or calms you down and lie down. It's a watch day, it might help you sleep easier." She said with a fond smile.

Tom sighed, grabbed the blanket and sunk into her lap without ado.

A relaxing image. The first image that came to his mind were her eyes and then her smile….


Tom's POV

"It is still a mist" Tom complained.

"Well, it is a spell beyond NEWT level. That you can produce a mist is an achievement." She said, remarkably calm.

"You can do it." He pointed out.

"I learned and honed it years ago and don't compare. You got that stupid theorem in Arithmancy and I am still wrapping my head around it, do you see me complaining?" She said, shaking her head.

"You just did." He pointed out.
She raised her hands, "Look, Patronus is extremely difficult, not only because it requires too much magic or strength but because it demands honestly of feelings. You need pure, unadulterated happiness to contradict misery and believe me not, there is a huge difference between things that you think are happy and the ones you actually feel happy about. It is trial and error, you will figure it out eventually and we will continue practicing it." She said, her voice very easygoing, she added as an afterthought, "Also, it depends a lot of the kind of memory."

Tom gave her an inquiring look.

"I had a hard time too. I tried powering it with my first ride on broom. I love flying, I feel free and I thought I was happy. But it is not a strong enough memory and it didn't work." She told him, taking a sip of water.

"What worked for you?" He asked.

"It might not work for you. Different things makes every different person happy." She pointed out, "But yes, my ultimate strength is protection and warmth of those that I care about. The happiness I feel when I am with people I love and who love me, as me as Corrie, not as the amazing daughter of the House of Black." Her tone turned bitter towards the end, but she shook herself out of the reverie, "But Tom, I am sorry in advance for what I am going to say. I am not going to prod, or anything. I know you didn't have an ideal childhood, or have people to rely on, or too many happy memories, I don't know. You know yourself best and you will have to figure it out unless you want to bounce ideas off me." She looked slightly defeated.

"You aren't wrong. I told you as much after dementor attack and you guessed it that night in my room, when you were healing my head, it's a difficult life." Tom said, his voice devoid of emotion.

She didn't say anything but her stance told Tom that she was listening intently.

"I don't really like to talk about it." He said a little dejectedly.

Cordelia nodded, "How about I tell you something, a few key things of my memories? You can tell me a few if you feel like after it?" She asked.

Tom didn't see how that would help but he was curious, he wanted to know more about her, perhaps everything.

A sofa appeared, he slumped on it, Cordelia came and sat beside him, with folded legs. "I was a happy kid. I was born in one of the most illustrious and rich families . I am technically also from the main branch of family. My grandfather Regulus was the heir and he had three children, My father, Uncle Arcturus and Aunt Charis, she is married to a foreign pureblood wizard. We don't talk much to her. Uncle Arcturus is the lord now. My parents adored me. I could not want more. But I was a 'girl'. While that was enough for my parents and some of my relatives, it did not sit too well with the others. Grandfather Regulus was not happy. He wanted them to bear a son. I was four years old when I heard the rant. I heard him yelling that it did not matter how magically powerful I was, how utterly ideal I was, in the end I was a pretty face and I would do no good to the family despite everything. I would just benefit the man who will marry me and perhaps give the family more assets because I will fetch a good bride price but Blacks don't lack funds, they didn't need my bride price. Abe was with me that day. He didn't understand much, but I did. I was already reading the newspapers and some books my then. He understood that I was sad and he tried to cheer me up but it did not help. I was too broken. I guess I lost my innocence that day. Everything I did after that was to prove that I was not a waste of space, that I had just as much intrinsic value as my male cousins did. I was 7 when my father realized this, my focus. He sat me down and he told me that he did not need a son. He told me that I was as good as one. I didn't want to be a son or as good as any. I wanted to be a daughter and be appreciated for it, be given the same exact freedom and liberties that my male cousins received. It might sound a bit foreign to you but for someone who was more magically strong than the Head of her House at the age of 10, being reduced to a secondary citizen . . . I don't know how to explain it better. Despite my power, reducing my status to just the prospects of my nuptials made me furious. I mean are women only good for that? Despite the issue of power, are we not human beings, do we not have equal stake in this world? My grandfather's view did not take root in the family by much, my parents never had a second child. They probably would have if grandfather was not so insistent on it. They rebelled. My cousins never treated me differently as much . Meaning it was not very discriminatory. But I was still expected to be a woman, have feminine qualities, behave a certain way, talk a certain way. It was a boon that I was beautiful, but that beauty is as fickle as … People always feel enamored and threatened by it. That's the reason Burga does not like me. I am too perfect. I make her look bad. The only reason I am the heiress is because uncle wants the gift of parseltongue to be passed down the main black line. I was kidding with myself when I said he cares about my power, or he cares about my political stance. He does, but he also think that I am malleable, that he is getting a heir who is brilliant and subservient. I made him think that, over the years, I made this image of myself, as this docile, courteous woman who would not challenge everything and do as her duty required her to do. I slipped a lot, let them see my true self, at times, so they could not differentiate between what's a fluke and what's real. It's a bitter life, living with a mask with your loved ones, even if for certain time. But I guess not having loved ones is much worse, where all you know about them is somebody's else's memory, or nothing at all." Cordelia was lost in thoughts and there was a bitter frown in her face. She had somewhere in her narration looked down at her hands, but Tom could see the distinct shine and wetness of her eyes. The tears she held in them did not escape though.

Tom did not say anything.

She gave a bittersweet smile to him, "It does not mean that I don't love them or they do not or did not love me. Grandfather Regulus adores me. Everyone else does too. They just expect too much from me and give me much less. They want me to perform the duties of a son, but not give me the liberties of one. They also want me to keep performing the duties of a daughter. They want me to be a pretty face while also wanting me to ….It just confuses me."

There was a silence.

"I understand somewhat I think, about the confusion, about the roles people want you to play. I was always different, different than any other kid in that orphanage." Tom said slowly. He swallowed heavily, this was the first time he was acknowledging it in front of her like that. She mentioned it tactfully, she knew about it from other sources, but this was the first time that he was admitting about the orphanage. She was as silent and alert as he was when she had been speaking. He sighed, "I never cried as a baby. I was just odd. I was too beautiful, as the matron says. The other children felt threatened by it. I am sure you of all people would know what that means. I was also quiet, I liked to read than take part in any shenanigans. I was different and magic was just the icing on top. The unexplained incidents did not endear me to the caretakers or the matron, or for that matter the other children. I did not know, how or what. I did not understand it. For a little while, I resented it. But then it saved me a couple of times, from bullies and street thugs and unwanted when I was four, I guess. I learned that if I wanted to survive, I had to embrace my powers. I began to think of it as a gift. That helped for a little while, but then that grew stale too. I didn't like that I was different despite the fact that I basked in it. I was ambitious, I knew that what I had was not something everyone did and I had plans for making a better life for myself, but that does not mean that I did not expect a certain level of civility from those that I did live with or that I was not civil in return. But I learned, adults are cruel and children are too. Soon, it was very practically realized by me that I was an anomaly, I did not fit in and people did not like that I did not fit. I was dependent on my gift so I became resentful of them. I cooked up stories in my head in which I was better than them. 'I was better than them'." He said the last one forcefully then continued, "I, for one, did not take out my frustrations on a kid. I tried to fit in. I tried not to startle them, I tried. It did not work. I simply did not belong and I realized that by the time I was 5 and a half. I learned a semblance of control of what people call accidental magic and I also discovered that I could speak to snakes. That further alienated me. I never liked any muggle, for too long at least. There was one caretaker, but then she began giving such looks, I just begun avoiding her. So, yes, I do not probably have the memories that you are recommending for the patronus."

"Was it Catholic? Your orphanage?" Cordelia asked softly.

Tom gave her a look.

"I know a lot, especially religions and spirituality, I told you." She shrugged.

"No, the orphanage was not. But the caretakers, matrons and proprietors were. We were required to go to Church every Sunday. I was banned when I was six." He said shortly.

Cordelia's eyes widened slightly but she quickly schooled her features, then she slowly bit her lip, "Magic made you feel safe?" She questioned.

He nodded.

"It makes you feel happy?" It was a question but it seemed Cordelia already knew the answer.

He nodded again.

"Things and ideas don't work as well for Patrnous, if they are not rooted in people. I am telling you that straight up, so you are going to have difficulty with the spell, no matter how many hours we devote. But we are not going to give up, Happiness is different for everybody, but patronus is not just about happiness, it is about positive emotions, people just focus too much on happiness. It is about determination, willpower, warmth, safety, love. Now you may not score very well on all of that because of your past but you are one of the most determined and ambitious people I have met. You are also very attuned to magic and wear it like a cloak. Magic makes you happy, it is your strength. We will use that, for first, until we can find or make a better memory. How about you try the first time you held your wand? I was ecstatic even though I had lived around magic all my life. I am very sure it meant a great deal more to you." Cordelia spoke very quickly but with quite a confidence and determination in her voice.

Tom had a new spark in his eyes.

Tom didn't quite manage a corporeal patronus by the end of their session, but the mist was stronger and denser exponentially.

He wanted to go further but Cordelia absolutely forbid him to try any more. She yelled his head off, more like. Tom had looked slightly taken aback at first but had quickly tried to calm her down with his easy, charming smile.

Cordelia did not take that well either, she had given him a death glare.

Tom translated that as 'It is nice and good that I love you because if I didn't, you would not be alive' and chuckled and murmured an apology.

But as he was turning around when Cordelia begun gathering her stuff in the room, he realized that she was probably the first person who had declared such ownership and rights over him, off her own accord.

Love, he had thought that the emotion she was trying to portray was love and Tom off a sudden found his face hot by something hot streaming down his eyes. He had never felt or observed that emotion directed at himself in somebody. That selfless, unapologetic care that he had been receiving. He was feeling happy, so happy, he didn't know why he was crying. He wanted to raise his wand and he knew that he could have cast a patronus then but he did not want to make her angry too. He quickly wiped them off, collected his bag and turned to face her. She was still stuffing books in her bag.

"Now we are not doing this for another two days. You stretched yourself too much today…We will work on the animagus..." She trailed off when she looked at him.

He nodded, "I know, I understand."

"You are not usually this meek"She got up, folding her hands across her breasts.

"I am not meek. I am merely being agreeable, which I am when people speak something logical." Tom retorted softly, shaking his head.

"Alright then." She dropped her hands but she was still looking suspiciously at him, as if something was not quite right.

Tom sometimes got scared by her astute readings of him. But she ultimately decided to drop it, as she picked her bag and begun leaving.

Tom remembered something, "Cordelia," He called out softly.

She turned around with a slight confusion on her face.

"If you ever refer to my friend as a waste of space, your angry bear form will appear tame in comparison to my fury over it." Tom said quite meaningfully.

Cordelia appeared touched, her eyes had a wet tinge, but she just solemnly nodded.


Tom's POV

Tom was sitting with Avery and Abraxas in the common room and helping them with a couple of herb properties in herbology when he heard a wide commotion from the Girl's dorm with loud bangs of spells.

Tom and Abraxas got up immediately with their wands out.

"Check on your cousin Lucretia." Tom barked. Cordelia had just gone up some ten minutes ago to fetch something from her room. She was still in the site of the commotion and that worried Tom.

But before Lucretia could move, Cordelia came down the stairs and was down in a blink.

Her face looked a cross between being amused and highly annoyed. She looked at Walburga and said in a deadpan tone, "I apologize for the day I called you tiresome Burga. Apparently, there are people who have worse assumptions than you."

"What happened?" Abraxas demanded. Tom quickly surrounded them, the black cousins, Abrarxas, Cor"elia and himself in a privacy bubble.

"My fellow yearmates from the dorm, quite melodramatically tried to put me in my place, so to speak." Cordelia said calmly, with an annoyed smile and plopped herself on the couch.

"Dorea, do me a favor, Call a meeting of the court and ask those 4 nincompoops to be present because I know Lyra Greengrass was with them too.:Tom said with an edge in his voice.

"What are you doing? I can fight my own battles. I think I scared them sufficiently."Cordelia said irritably.

"I am making it clear that insulting you is not allowed. So just buck up and accept it." He said in an equally annoyed voice and rather forcefully.

'What did you say? I think I heard you wrong." Cordelia asked him with a little shock.

Tom raised a brow.

"And I don't have a say!" She asked.

It should not have been possible, but Tom's brow just went up.

Abraxas, Alphard and Orion were staring at Tom. Dorea looked satisfied. The others, Lucretia and Walburga looked confused.

"You are a control freak." Cordelia said indignantly.

"And you don't have a filter on your mouth. DO you see me complaining?" Tom replied back equally angrily.

"Yes…" She raised both of her brows, "What in the name of Merlin's pants is your freaking problem?"

"See, like I said, no filter." Tom said calmly, "Cordelia, I think you of all people would understand feeling indignant on behalf of another person because you care about them. And I do care about you, so shut up, and I am going to see how those princesses react when I take their case!"

She stuck her tongue out.

'Now, that's very mature. . ." Tom said sarcastically.

"Will you calm down?" She said slowly in a whisper, putting her palm on his heart, "We are creating a scene!" She softly murmured.

"Do you trust your cousins to not spread gossip?"Tom asked.

"Yes!" Cordelia said carefully.

"Then I trust them not to reveal about our argumentative selfs beyond the people in this privacy bubble." Tom said easily.

"Why Dorea?" She asked another question quite softly instead of expressing her bewilderment," Why not Abraxas or Orion? They are already a part of the court."

"Because I will be inducting a few new members to the court and she is one of them. It is time that women get represented in the court of what is their house too." Tom said a bit warily.

The rest of them gasped and Cordelia looked really touched and surprised.

Dorea's smile disappeared and now, she looked bewildered but pleased.

"And Corrie will be joining the court as well?" Abraxas could not help but ask.

"No." Tom said directly. The Blacks looked stricken. Cordelia had a poker face.

"She will be running the court with me, if she would have it?" Tom added, giving a questioning look to Cordelia, remembering her comment about having a say and giving her a choice.

Now, Tom had done it. Cordelia was almost gaping at him. But since she was used to keeping full composure, all she gave was a startled opening of her mouth.

She just looked at him questioningly, giving him a look that said, 'Are you serious?'

He just nodded.

Cordelia looked at her cousins. Orion and Abraxas and even Alphard were nodding vigorously. She passed their gazes without thought. Lucretia was as docile as ever and for a change, Walburga appeared in her favor by the light in her eyes. It was Dorea's encouraging single nod that solidified her decision. She looked at Tom and Tom knew that she was agreeable, but she still gave a small, uncharacteristically shy nod.

"That's good, we don't want your list to go to a waste." Tom said slowly, hiding how happy he was, but a small smile still made its way through.

"Now, that would be a shame!" Cordelia smiled a full blown smile and getting closer to him. "Who are the other members?"

" I was thinking of inviting Titania Shacklebolt. She has nerve. I thought I would discuss the rest with you since like you said, you had ideas." Tom said slowly, with a teasing smile and he was buried in a giant hug.

Walburga sneered at that, but Dorea and Abraxas gave her a fine glare and the sneer quickly died.


Here is the next update. For awhile, my chapters will be slighly unedited. Pardon that. I just do not have enough time on hand, but please feel free to point them out.

Please Review.