FAN FICTION AU AND TIME TRAVEL
Flipped
Summary
Female Harry Potter (Juniper) wins the war but the cost is too much so she performs a ritual and performs dimension travel after much research when she is 24. Her counterpart is Cordelia Faye Black, the daughter of Altair Black and Adelaide Malfoy. Has memories of both the worlds. Lives in France. When Juniper (Harry) seeps into consciousness, she is 14. Born on Beltane. Thus even though she is a girl, she has a high standing among the Blacks. Has gone to Beauxabatons for her first three years. Born on May 1, 1927. Start school in 1938. Goes to Hogwarts in 1942. Meets Tom Riddle. (Romance and power play)
Disclaimer: The characters and the world in the story belong to J.K. Rowling. I am not earning any profit from it.
Note: I have been a fanfiction reader for quite a lot of years before I gave this fic a shot, so if you see any ideas seeping in that I do not openly acknowledge, just let me know and I will add the credits. I have read too many to keep a track of them but I will try my best.
1) The idea of totems belongs to Catsarecool who is writing A Maurader's plan .
2) The basic idea of dimension travel comes from Hollow Thunder, Vital Lightning by Aariya07. You will see quite a few similarities in the first couple of chapters but it diverges after that.
3) Harry was born a girl as Juniper Anastasia Potter. Everything is as it is in canon except for her romances. This is not because I don't read slash or like it. You will see a lot of them in my favorites but because I don't think that I could do justice to that genre and because I want to do this. If you do not like such fics, do not read. Please do not flame. I will welcome criticisms, I know I am not perfect, just don't meaninglessly bash me for nothing.
For your references
"Talk"
"Thought"
"Parseltongue"
Chapter 17: The Duel
Cordelia's POV
The first week of December was almost at its end. It was Defence against the Dark Arts. They were going to duel today. Cordelia was very sure that it was Merrythought's initiative to get them interested in the duelling club.
She was itching for a fight. It had been so long since she had sparred with anyone. Her battle hardened self was just jumping at anticipation. The battlelust was hard to get rid of for someone who always remained on edge in matters of security.
Her eyes met Tom. She gave him an unreadable look. She was mildly angry at him. His minions were keeping an eye of her. His thoughtfulness was appreciated, he was just worried but he made a move to secure her without her permission and that did not settle down well with her.
Cordelia's thoughts stopped when Merrythought said, "Partner up."
Tom was moving towards her but she swiftly turned and looked at lestrange. She did not want to unleash herself on Tom, Lestrange was another matter altogether. The only way he would fight her was if she baited him.
She did not have to start though, Merrythought stepped in, "Cordelia, I think you and Tom are too familiar with each other's styles. Please partner with someone else, so it is a more learning experience."
"Well, then I better partner with Abe." Cordelia played along.
"I think Lestrange would do nicely. Let Mr. Riddle take Abraxas." Merrythought said and exchanged a look with Cordelia.
Cordelia knew what this was, a chance! Renatus had made a ruckus last week when Cordelia had beat everyone in their scores. Something about a puny witch not being able to beat him. Merrythought had deducted points but Lestrange did not learn.
Cordelia was all for it. She had two scores to settle with him. One about underestimating her and one for hurting Charlie.
She ignored Tom's worried look and walked up to Lestrange and said in a low volume, "I believe we have a score or two to settle."
Lestrange sneered. Cordelia just smiled a feral smile, baring her teeth. He looked taken aback. Then, she smiled her angelic smile, "I believe we will take the duelling stand first, Professor."
Merrythought gave her a small smile and nodded.
"Bow" Merrythought instructed as they stood at opposing ends of the duelling stand.
Cordelia barely bent. The lower you went, the more respect it gave. Cordelia did not respect that piece of shit.
She had ignored her cousins and she had ignored Tom. She narrowed her eyes to focus on the figure of Lestrange.
"Begin." Merrythought directed and Cordelia shot, "Expelliarmus."
Lestrange shielded back, sending the jelly legs jinx at her.
Cordelia dodged and sent a loud Impedimenta. It broke Lestrange's shield, but he very swiftly cast it again but her successive Confringo and Expelliarmus broke the shield again.
Lestrange gave her an angry look, which she returned with a condescending sneer.
Cordelia was toying with him. She was powering her spells at one-fourth of her magic. She did not want to end it so soon but the class period was about to end in 2 minutes. Merrythought had insisted on going over the rules of formal duelling, her emphasis on 'we do not duel to kill'. Funny, it had crossed Cordelia's mind to just end it.
She sent a bat bogey hex which had slightly more power which broke through his shield and hit him. Cordelia sent a glacius on the floor and a tickling charm and a jelly legs jinx at him successively and lestrange was sprawled on the floor in no time, looking extremely comical. He was still holding on to his wand, so she could still attack him.
She threw a quick impedimenta which threw him across the room and banged his head on the wall. Unfortunately, the wall was cushioned but Lestrange still lost consciousness at the impact.
She gave a mocking curtsy and jumped down from the duelling stand.
Merrythought had a proud smile.
Tom's POV
It had been a long day for Tom. He had been worried sick, at first. Lia was acting reckless, like a bloody Gryffindor. Her gestures, everything was so strange. It was bothering him.
Then, Merrythought had decided to pin her against Lestrange. He understood the statement that the two women wanted to make. He got it, Lestrange did not respect them and it irked them.
But it was as if Cordelia wanted to fight, wanted to … She was on so much edge, like a bloody erumpent horn, like she would blast if you touched her wrong or said something.
She had ignored him after the class and during it. She had disappeared and had missed Potions. Travers and Burke had lost her as they were tailing her for her protection and he had not seen her since. Dorea told her that Cordelia had come to the dorm while everyone was at dinner and said that she was turning in early and was not to be disturbed.
In her words, she looked fine but angry.
Dorea had advised him to stay away.
"She is irrational when she is angry and I daresay, you lose sight of what you are saying as well." Dorea had said carefully, "It happens to me and Charlie all the time. It is best to give space to each other."
He did not understand where she was coming from. How did Charlie and her example translate to him and Lia? They were courting…and Lia was … Lia was not…He was confused.
He had spent some time sitting in with the members of the court.
Renatus had hidden in his room but the rest were present.
Carrow and Parkinson were still muttering about women.
Alphard had asked them to ask Renatus about Lia's capabilities to beat the shit out of them before they made any further comment on her prowess. He had ignored the collective warning looks of Tom, Abraxas, and Dorea.
Sometimes he really hated the Gryffindor sides of certain Slytherins. But the damage had been done. Renatus would be even angrier about the defeat. What was Cordelia thinking? All this while she had been telling him to be careful with his diplomacy and then she goes and does something imbecile.
Tom was climbing the stairs of the boys dorm, expecting to have a sleepless night since Cordelia would not be there.
But when he entered his room, he was surprised to find Cordelia's trunk put at the side of this room.
He wanted to see her so badly, he pulled his key of her trunk from under his mattress, unlocked the trapdoor to the apartment and barged right in their bedroom. It was bare but he saw that the lamp in the master bedroom was lit.
She was lounging on the bed, with one of her legs hanging, reading from a book. She did not look up even though he was sure that he had made sufficient ruckus.
"Where were you?" He asked finally.
"I thought Travers and Burke would fill you in. We actually did not need to talk about my day, do we?" She said pointedly.
Tom stayed silent.
"Or you did not think that I would realize that there were people tailing me. You should give me more credit than that, Tom…" Cordelia inclined her head. She did not look pleased.
"I did not honestly care if you got to know about it. They were there for your protection, not for any nefarious intention." Tom replied evenly.
"That rhymed." She said carelessly, "I don't need protection. And I think you should have cleared it with me before you made a decision regarding people spying on me."
'They were not spying. They were looking for danger." Tom replied back.
"Since I did not know about it, I am going to go with spying, if you do not mind," Cordelia said bitterly.
"We did not tell you because we were afraid of your reaction. Abraxas agreed." Tom replied.
"What reaction, if I may? How did you think I would react?" Cordelia asked, her eyes narrowed.
"Exactly how you are reacting right now. Defensive and unreasonable and angry for no reason." Tom shot back.
"Then you should have discussed it with me. That is my point precisely. You do not get to make decisions for me. Of course, I am angry. You talk about me having the same abilities as you do yet you do not trust me to make use of them." She shot back.
"It is not about that. You are always careless when it comes to your own well-being. I think the past is a very good witness to that. You can go on and tell people how to protect themselves but you don't follow your own advice. You are such a hypocrite." Tom spat.
"I do what I think the situation warrants. And maybe that makes me a hypocrite, but it does not change the fact that you are a freaking control freak." Cordelia had risen on her knees in the bed.
"And for righteous reasons…Did you see yourself today? You warned me not to rile Renatus, telling me that he is dangerous and you go and do it. You tell me to sleep and you just do not sleep yourself. Do you see the pattern there? Renatus is a rabid wolf, and you just kicked him. You think he will not bite you?" Tom yelled.
"If I let him. As you very well saw, I can beat him." Cordelia said evenly.
"Today was not necessary. It is not about you being able to beat him. You did it without forethought and without caution. He is an important member of the court, Cordelia. You cannot just…"
"Of course, he is a member of your precious court. He insulted me. He hurt Charlie. He is plotting to rob and destroy you. Forgive me, if I dislike him. Forgive me, if I showed him his place. But of course, you do not care about that, Charlie is just a Gryffindor. I am just a witch. We can live with it." Cordelia yelled back.
"Do not spin it." Tom said evenly, "I abhor Lestrange for doing what he did. But you and I both know, there are other rational ways to catch him and make him pay for it. Not disrespecting him or…any other childish…"Tom shook his head.
"Yes, rational ways. One of them would be using court members to keep an eye on him, not on the girl that runs a court with you. He is dangerous, I am not…"Cordelia gritted her teeth, "But no, you had to spy on me."
"Maybe because I can let Renatus run loose…." Tom began.
"See.." Cordelia slapped her palm on her thigh.
'For Morgana's sake, Lia. Shut up. I can let Renatus run loose but I can't lose you. Did you think of that? I don't care if I catch him if it means losing you or seeing you hurt. Seeing you bedridden once was enough. I can't put myself through it again. That is why members of the court were tailing you because you are more important.
"And you don't see that. You just see some goddamn big picture, where nobody is expendable but you. And I refuse to look through your lens because I can't see you hurt." Tom shouted. His magic begun reacting. The entire room was shaking. His face was distorted in a furious frown but he looked so vulnerable.
Cordelia swiftly left the bed, "Tom, I am fine. Calm down. Calm down…Easy, breathe. I will listen to you, calm down…You will hurt yourself and me…" She started rubbing circles on his chest.
Tom's shoulder sagged, his magic stopped revolting and he wrapped his arms around her, 'I am sorry."
She hugged him back, her arms linked across his neck, and occasionally sliding down to his chest, 'Shhh, it is okay, we are fine, and I am fine…"
"I can't see you hurt," Tom muttered, pressing his lips to her hair, tears erupting from his eyes. His speech slightly incoherent.
"You won't… I will be fine. Jeez Tom, talk to me if it bothered you so much. I will listen to you. I will always listen to you," She muttered.
"You put yourself in danger…"He began.
'I will have to, sometimes I will have to…I cannot sit on sidelines. I cannot put other people in harm's way. I am like that. But I am also reasonable okay, so next time you think I need protection, talk to me instead of doing something behind my back. I hate being patronised." She looked at him.
"I was not patronising you." He mumbled.
"Well, I read it wrong, didn't I? I make mistakes too, I am not infallible. I hate being kept in dark. So when I saw them, they are not at all subtle by the way, when I saw them I was so angry. I just wanted to prove that I could do things without your approval…And bashing Renatus felt good, and yes I wondered if it was worth it but I was so angry…angry that you did not think that I would be reasonable." She muttered.
He did not say anything, he just pulled her close and tightened his arms, placing his forehead on her head.
"I was worried. You sometimes become so focused on helping others that you do not see what you are doing to yourself and I hate seeing you hurt, so I thought that it would be harmless if the guys kept a watch on you. I took an oath and everything, anything they learned could not be used against you… and they were to let you be independent and only intervene…should something happen." Tom was rambling.
"I understand, I am sorry, I overreacted…"Cordelia muttered.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, just wrapped around each other.
"I should have asked you or at least told you. I am sorry." Tom said seriously after a bit, looking her in the eyes.
"I agree to that but it is okay, you were looking out for me…"Cordelia nodded, "How about the members continue what they were doing but instead they walk with me instead of hiding and whatever they were doing? I won't travel alone to be sure. I can have escorts everywhere. I do not use the public bathrooms anyway…Just let me know that they are there. And can we have a list of preapproved people because I do not trust Carrow or…"
'Do you think I am dumb that I will put Parkinson or Carrow on watch on you? They would likely raise the wand themselves." Tom said, his tone offended.
"I was just saying…"Cordelia could not help but smile at his indignation and buried her head in his chest.
"We should sleep. I am exhausted. And you look dead on your feet despite your argumentative self." Tom said after a comfortable silence.
"I am not argumentative." The fire in her eyes returned as she looked up to his eyes.
"Of course, you are not." Tom said mockingly, shaking his head, 'but you did not deny that you are dead on your feet, so we are sleeping."
The fire in her eyes ebbed away with sheepishness. She nodded, "Let me clear this room up. You can go and change. See you in bedroom?" A curious look in her eyes.
Tom just nodded.
Tom's POV
That night Tom woke up, not because he had a nightmare. He seldom had them when his hands were wrapped around Cordelia. He woke up because the petite body in his arms was trembling and shaking. He opened his eyes and saw Cordelia literally writhing painfully in his arms. No sounds escaped her. Just writhing. Tom was instantly reminded of the effects of Cruciactus. He changed his thoughts at the painful wrench in his heart in imagining Cordelia under that unforgivable. He was about to coax her into waking up, when she detangled herself from him, lay straight on the bed, still convulsing. Before Tom's extended hand could reach her, she opened her eyes, let out a bloodcurdling scream, closed back her eyes and started falling back, Tom caught her and put her head on his chest.
He was utterly confused and very concerned.
"Lia…"He murmured after much thought, "Lia..." Softly coaxing her awake.
"Hmmm…" Cordelia slowly opened her eyes, seeing the fear in his eyes, her eyes opened widely, "Did you have a nightmare?"
"I did not, you did…" Tom slowly said. At her utter confusion, he immediately filled her in.
She just sighed, "It was not a nightmare…"
"What are you implying?" Tom's voice was irritated, "I know what I saw."
"People usually remember nightmares, Tom. What you saw was real, just not a nightmare. It was probably a sleep or night terror. It usually happens to children. Very rarely in adults."
"You are not an adult." Tom pointed out.
"I am not a kid either." She muttered back.
Tom sighed, "What is a night terror?"
"Like I said, it is rare in adults. When it happens, it is usually an ill effect of mind arts. It does not happen to everybody, it just happens randomly. Some people say it happens to people who try to bury their fear deep in their unconscious using mind arts, but there is no evidence of it so far in research, partly because people do not volunteer to get their mind invaded. Department of Mysteries is working on it but their policy is not to publish research until 20 years of its prime. And they don't prefer to publish it even then. There are mind healers and they study it from the perspective of Healing, but night terrors are not dangerous. People do not even remember having them. Most of them only realize it once somebody who saw them tells them. It is not a big, medical issue, so it has taken a lag in terms of priorities." She told in her 'teacher' tone.
"So, how do you know about them?" Tom was curious and Cordelia instantly looked guilty.
"Don't get mad…"She began, "this is, as far as I know, my second case. I had one in summer. Cherry saw me. I went back right to sleep like I did tonight without realizing it. I researched them then. But it never happened again and as I said, it is not a troubling issue, so I did not make a fuss."
"Of course, you did not…"Tom said knowingly, "What are you suppressing?"
"Do not start Freud with me. That person was high…I am not suppressing anything…I think it might be…"She trailed off.
"What?" Tom promptly asked.
"There is something in the Black blood." She said slowly.
"I have heard about the mad Black blood. Looking at Alphard makes me believe it." Tom said nodding.
"Not that, this one only affects women." She said slowly.
"Are you okay?" Tom's voice was wrought with panic.
"It is not a bad thing." She said quickly.
"What is it?" He asked.
"I can't say…because I do not know. All I know is there is something in my blood. I inherited it. It is not bad. I also know that I did not know this when I was ten or I was 12, I just knew it when I woke up on my 13th Birthday. Ever since then, I get up from sleep and I know things. Spells, obscure potions… I have been researching into it…but nada…"She muttered.
"And you never brought this up, why?" Tom asked.
"Because I sound crazy! I did not think I would be believed." She said in exasperation.
"Lia, we are shape shifters, I am the long lost heir of Slytherin, we can speak to snakes, and we constantly perform magic... I think we can take a leap and believe what you are saying…" Tom said seriously.
"You do not think I am hallucinating or…."She began hesitantly.
"No…no…" Tom said vehemently, "Why do you give yourself so little credit Lia?"
"Because people give me less credit?" She said weakly.
He sighed, "Why did you not tell me? I do not give you less credit."
Cordelia was struggling, "It, the sense, also tells me that the less I tell you, for now, the better. We are not ready, I am not ready to come to terms with it. I will tell you, but I need to figure it out for myself first."
Tom did not look happy, "If that is it, then fine. You will come to me if it gets out of hand and if it is bothering you." He said in the end, though.
She nodded.
Cordelia's POV
As they both lay on the bed again, Cordelia's mind was racing. She knew that the night terror was not because of her Black heritage.
Her black heritage was the blood of a child of magic, passing through the main line of House of Black. She had received it in heritage from her grandmother Dorea. It was because of that she was in this dimension today.
No, the night terror was likely in remembrance of Cruciactus Curse from the memories that she had blocked.
Her barriers around those memories were flimsy. It would break. It would break sooner than she thought. But she planned to have done most of her work by then. She could deal with the mess once her job was done.
With those thoughts, sleep embraced Cordelia.
Tom's POV
"I found another." Cordelia's excited whisper in the Care of Magical Creatures pulled Tom out of his thoughts.
"Huh, so did I." Tom responded, immediately pulling her aside.
"Where?" They asked together and then laughed.
"You first." Tom immediately said.
"Near the Transfiguration classroom. There is a mural and snakes are hiding in it. I heard them hissing. I did not open it because it would have gathered unwanted attention." She whispered back.
"Mine is in dungeons, a coiled snake around the Potions lab." Tom muttered.
"That would be what 4 passages in a week." She whispered back.
"Riddle, Black, hands on the meat. Feed the animals." Professor Kettleburn barked.
"Yes Professor!" They both said promptly.
Cordelia moved towards the food bowls and picked one thick stack of meat. '
Tom followed.
"But none of them go to the chamber," Tom said mournfully.
"We have not even checked these two out yet, Tom. Don't be a wet blanket." Cordelia muttered back, as she threw the meat to the hippogriff courtyard. They were having a revision class on them.
Cordelia was secretly wondering what was with COMC Professors and their love for hippogriffs.
"I just know that they aren't," Tom said forcefully as he threw a stack of meat.
"Not grand enough locations for you…" Cordelia asked knowingly.
"Well, that… and my hunch." Tom admitted.
"Faster…" Kettleburn barked.
"Oh my Morgana, that man has got lungs." Cordelia muttered unhappily, "I am pretty sure that the hippogriffs are annoyed by all this throwing of food. It is disrespectful."
"I will take your word away from it and stay away from the paddock," Tom grinned.
"I really would. It nearly took Finnegan's hands off." Abraxas muttered, joining them from the side. "You should tell him now." Abraxas nudged her.
"Oh yeah, I keep forgetting." Cordelia quickly scourgified her hands.
"What now?" Tom's expression was a bit guarded.
"Nothing, just updating you on winter plans." She quickly said.
"When did Abraxas became privy to them?" Tom was looking at the Malfoy heir.
"I don't know anything except that she wants you to stay with the Malfoys during the break and only because I received a missive from father an hour ago. I have not had a chance to talk to her." Abraxas said pointedly.
"Lia, I thought I said no adults," Tom whispered heatedly.
"Relax….Uncle Hyperion knows nothing. Not even your name." Cordelia placed a hand on his chest calmingly.
"Explain." He demanded.
"I withdrew your name from the people staying at Hogwarts for Christmas' list. We need you outside to do what we planned."
"Which I know nothing about," Abraxas said pointedly.
'Shut up Abraxas, you do not need to. Now shush and go away. Not a word to anyone." Cordelia gave him an annoyed look.
Abraxas pretended to lock his mouth and threw away the key and walked away.
"Relax, relax, you are safe. I was earlier planning to have you stay at an inn but that exposes you, so I figured I needed a back-up plan. I made uncle Rion swear on his magic that he will not ask me questions about you, he would let you stay for the entirety of the break and you will be under his protection. He also agreed to keep Uncle Arcturus out of the loop and the same for my mother. He does not know anything except that we have business together. You probably will not even see him at all before the inheritance happens. And after that, you decide where you want to stay. At whatever properties you inherit or if you want to buy a place. I thought we would take one step at a time. Uncle trusts me. The fact that he wrote to Abraxas is to warn him to expect a guest. He wrote to us via the same owl but different letters. Abraxas asked me and I confirmed that it was you because he was whining too much. It just happened like 20 minutes ago so I apologize." Cordelia made her eyes large.
"And you did not involve me in this because…" Tom trailed off, looking at her pointedly.
"I did not want to get your hopes up. I wanted Uncle to agree to my conditions first." She replied honestly. "You still do not have to come. Uncle is just expecting a guest from our year. He does not know anything. Your middle name is distinct. Even though I have been unable to find anything on it, chances are there might be people who recognize it. I am keeping that under wraps until the inheritance comes through. Also, I insisted that I stay the first half of holidays before Christmas at Malfoy manor to mother and she agreed. So, I and Abraxas both will be there with you and I will bind the Black cousins in an oath before we reach Kings' Cross. I can book a room in an inn if you are not comfortable coming to a pureblood house." She looked at him hopefully with her large eyes.
Riddle nodded at her look, "I will be honoured to be your guest at Malfoy Manor Lia." He said with a small smile.
"EEE," She jumped and wrapped her arms around him. Tom handled her.
"Ms. Black!" Kettleburn's booming voice led Tom to put Cordelia back on her feet.
"He is such a killjoy…"Cordelia muttered unhappily as they separated and joined the rest of the classmates.
Abraxas sniggered. Orion had a booming laugh. And Tom was shaking his head fondly.
Tom's POV
Cordelia was reading a letter with a fond smile on her face. It was around 10 in the night and they were in the trunk study. Tom was still perusing one of the Gaunt books.
"You look very happy. Happier than usual." He could not help but comment.
"Nah, I was just reading Cygnus' letter. Little tyke, he is adorable. Says he is missing me and that he is very pleased that I would be spending Christmas with him. Apparently Walburga and Lucretia ignore him while doing girly things." She replied, shaking her head with a smile.
"You sound fond of him. Even fonder than you are of Abraxas." Tom noticed.
"I guess I am." Cordelia said, "I am the youngest apart from Cygnus. From the beginning, I was determined to hold the Blacks together, not alienate any cousin like it had happened in my father's generation. With others, since they are older, I always thought that if I did fail in protecting them, it would be fine. But with Cygnus, since I saw him the first time, I was determined to raise him away from the Black madness and not just the blood one. I guess a part of me think of him as my baby. And yes, I am very fond of him. I would do anything to protect him."
"It must be…I don't know actually. To care for somebody so selflessly, it almost seems strange." Tom tested.
"That is love. Unconditional, in most situations irrevocable. You can start hating somebody but a part of you will always love them." Cordelia shrugged.
"You say it so easily.' Tom said with a weird smile as if he had trouble comprehending.
"It takes effort, I would not deny that. Loving is not easy. It is messy, it is disappointing but it is also worth it. That cocoon of warmth that you get by having people love you, or care about you. And the protective surge you feel for them, just because they exist. It is an inimitable feeling." Cordelia said, lost in thoughts.
Tom went rigid at her description. He had felt that, albeit for one person only, and she sat right across him on her desk right now. The warmth and the surge, he had felt both for her.
He suddenly felt overwhelmed. He swiftly changed the topic, 'What were you saying about the mishaps in your father's generation?"
Cordelia's jaw flexed. She did not like this topic.
"One of the things I am most ashamed of. And feel guilty about. There are more than five black cousins in that generation, apart from my father, Uncle Arcturus and Pollux and Aunt Cassiopeia and Callidora. Two more, Marius and Charis are forgotten names. Marius was a squib. He was kicked out of family before I was born. I saw him a couple of time in family meetings when I was young. He is so nice, gentle. He was kicked out, never respected, I have not seen him in eight years. Now my family likes to pretend that Uncle Marius chooses not to come for the gatherings, but the honest thing is that he is unwanted. My father would rather forget him than own up to the fact that we have a squib in the family. His own sister Cassiopeia pretends to be the only child." Cordelia shrugged helplessly "They make him feel alienated, unwanted. He was given a hefty sum of money to disappear. I could not stand the fact that they did to him. When Cygnus was born, he had a dim core. I am not surprised considering his parents are second cousins. I saw his face and I was so afraid that they were going to do to him, what they did to Marius. I could not stand the fact… that they would do this to someone so tiny, vulnerable. They were discussing it like people discuss objects. My cousin, he was…how could they?" Cordelia had tears streaming down her face, "I guess that is when I realized how filthy the blood politics is. I wanted to write to Uncle Marius after that. I so badly wanted to write to him. But I did not know what to say. I never knew him enough to miss him, I just wished to know him, as a person and not the blot."
Tom came closer to her and grasped her hand, "It was not your fault."
"I know that logically. It was out of my control. I would have been disowned had I tried something drastic. I intervened with Cygnus. I called family magic discreetly and I… basically ordered it to protect my cousin, however. And it did. It sat on his core and that convinced my family. He was favoured by family magic, just like I was. So they decided not to take his life." Cordelia wiped her tears.
"Do Lucretia and Walburga know?" Tom asked.
Cordelia shook her head, "I was just too nosy. I was not supposed to know either. My father was against it, probably because of my mother. She has such a kind soul."
"Not kinder than yours." Tom muttered, "You saved your cousin's life even when it was not your job."
She smiled weakly through her tears, "You are such a charmer." Tom just rolled his eyes and started rubbing her palms in small circles. They stayed silent for some time.
"What about Charis? I have scarcely heard her mentioned." Tom asked lightly.
"That one scared and scarred me. She is not much older than us. The youngest of my father's generation." Cordelia said, shaking her head, tears flowing down her cheeks, "She is, to crudely put, barren. Obviously, nobody wants a barren woman. She was also magically not adept, at least not enough to hide behind it. She could not produce children and she was not a prodigy that she could make a career for herself. She was also meek because she was constantly bullied by the elders in the family. Nobody would have married her. To save the grace, they married her to a foreign pureblood wizard, way older than her who already had children and just wanted a bed warmer. They basically sold her as a sex slave to him. We never hear from her. I was too scared to write a letter on my own. That was another instance that left me aghast. How could they treat her like that? " Cordelia broke down, "No one said anything, not even father or mother. I wanted to, I so badly wanted to, but I was so scared. I was just a kid, I could not have taken on the adults without…"
"It was not your fault." Tom murmured.
'How is it not?" She sobbed.
Tom wrapped his arms around her. She was literally sitting on his lap as he rubbed soothing circles on her back and Cordelia was buried in his chest as he murmured, "It was not your fault." He muttered it on a repeat.
Cordelia's sobs died down to quiet ones, and eventually into sniffling. Tom just held her, his one palm encasing her head protectively and the other wrapped around her torso.
Cordelia soon stopped making any noise and Tom still held her until he finally realized that she had fallen asleep.
He just picked her and lay her down on the bed gently. She had already changed into her nightclothes earlier.
Something about her face, he could not resist it but he bent down, hesitated, moved further closer and then backed away, but in the end, he hesitantly pecked her forehead, moving away a ringlet of her hair.
Tom's POV
Tom could not sleep that night. For the longest while, he had yearned family. He did not admit it to himself more or less but he wanted people that he could call his own.
But the talk with Cordelia had left him confused and shaken. Families could be bad, he had known that, seen that. Even somebody as pampered as Cordelia had her fair share of bad family experiences. That made him question the idea of happiness or as he understood it.
He was mindlessly wandering in the apartment in the trunk, He had been staring at Cordelia's face for a long time, and then tried to read the Gaunt book. But nothing worked.
It was when he entered a different room that he actually realized his surroundings. He had been in the room before when Cordelia had been showing him around. But he had never spared a glance to the contents of the room. There was a beautiful piano in the centre. It was gorgeous but that was not what caught Tom's attention. It was the Guitar on the shelf that caught his eyes.
"There you are." Cordelia's worried voice echoed inside the room and brought Tom out of his brooding thoughts.
He realized that he had picked the guitar and sat down on one of the stools there with his hands were on the keys. He did not think it was morning.
When he did not say anything, Cordelia said, "I thought I heard guitar tunes. I did not know you played."
"I don't." He muttered.
'That sounded like playing to me." She said, plopping herself down on one of the stools beside him.
"I was trying to… but I can't. Not any longer. I used to when I was six. I was learning it for the Church choir until they kicked me out. This was the one thing that I enjoyed in that hole. One thing. I sneaked to play it multiple times but they would always find me and throw me out. It hurt. And then, one day I just could not play. I tried so hard, but all that came out was a baseless…" Tom shook his head.
"They should not have done that." Cordelia said after a little silence, "They had no right to."
Tom smiled sadly until it disappeared and Cordelia could see a sheen of tears in his eyes.
He hastily shook his head and it disappeared.
"No, no, don't." Cordelia got up and caught his head, "You need to feel Tom. You can't keep blocking your feelings because they are unpleasant. I know it is hard, but you need to feel. Art also needs emotion. Maybe you could not play because you blocked away the unhappiness, the only emotion you were going through at that time."
"I don't want to feel… it is …the dementors…" Tom was stuttering.
"It hurts. I know. And it will, you need to let it hurt, in order to heal." Cordelia murmured." I guess apart from the Occulumency, we should also work on how you can channel your emotions better."
"I don't want to feel," Tom said adamantly, as tears finally leaked out of his eyes.
"You will have to eventually. It is better if you are prepared and dealing with them day by day, otherwise, a sudden onslaught will, it will hurt you more…" Cordelia murmured soothingly.
"I…no Lia…it is difficult." Tom murmured.
"I am not denying that. I will never deny that. But we need to be there for each other, you were there for me earlier. Let me do the same." Cordelia insisted.
"I can't…not….not right now…I cannot feel," Tom shook his head.
"Then we will wait until the day you can and I will be there, even then," Cordelia muttered softly, kissing his forehead and then pulling his head onto her stomach and cradling it. Tom gingerly wrapped his hands around her torso and hugged her abdomen.
"But I want to be the first one to hear you play when you feel like." She said with a mischievous and demanding smile.
"Of course," Tom smiled into her abdomen.
Booyah. Another update.
I decided that I liked the weekly update schedule better, so I am sticking to it. J
Sorry about the massive mix up last time. There were no breaks where they were supposed to be (Thanks to gr8rockstarrox for pointing that) . I have corrected it. Go back and read it, pretty please. And give reviews.
This is the second largest chapter in the Story till now. Hope it was not a drag.
I also hope that it is clear that Cordelia is not a complete Mary Sue. She has anger issues and so many other issues.
We will enter an arc that I absolutely love (Christmas), so fingers crossed for that.
And this might be out of character for me, but please, please review. I am highly considering begging right now. You don't know how a small smiley makes my day.
I get fewer reviews than usual, so any mundane thoughts about the fic. Any line you liked, any scene that you liked, please point it out. I work hard on this people.
PLEASE REVIEW.
