Sai and Kage
CHAPTER THREE:
Alone In Your Arms" 'It will never be in the past.' I growled in my beast voice. Then I ran, leaving him alone in the parking lot. I left him alone just as I knew he would leave me."
I thought I was finally done with this little sneaking around. I ran all the way home holding my bracelet in my mouth. I changed back when I reached main house, and I snuck quietly back in.
I went into Daikin's room and found him fast asleep. I lay down on my spot on the floor and closed my eyes. I couldn't help it; I just stared crying. Soon I was sobbing into my pillow.
"Quiet." Dai said in his sleep. I suppressed my sobs and quieted. I didn't need any more abuse tonight. I was sure right then that the only happy part in me was dead, lost forever because I had killed it. Why did I have to be so honest?
"Sai." I woke to a male voice. For a minute I dreamed that it was Kage. That I was still "yesterday me" and nothing had yet gone wrong. Well, except the fact that I was in love with the Rat.
I woke up regretfully. It was Daikin, standing over me, and breathing hard. He was using the wall as a brace and his face was covered in sweat.
"Help me." He whispered.
"Yes, Daikin." I said meekly. I stood and helped him walk out to the dining room. This was my life now, I had to keep reminding myself, I'm okay and this is my life. It hurt, but it was the truth. This was my life; I was with Dai, not Kage, and that's how it will always be.
Daikin sat down and beckoned for me to sit next to him at the head of the large table. I was so surprised it took me a while to react. The head of the table. The Sohma table. He wanted me to eat with the rest of the Main House Zodiac? This was definitely new.
"Come, Sai." He commanded. I went. What did this mean? Was I supposed to just suddenly join the family and love my oppressors? What was Daikin's plan?
Oh, how naïve I was then. His plan seemed distant and foreign, but it wasn't that elaborate. That was when he began to introduce me to the Sohma's as his intended bride. Oh, if only I had run then.
I didn't see Kage for a long time after our little incident at the club. I kept telling myself I didn't want to see him ever again, and after a while I started to believe it. Who need the Rat? My life was just as well of with Daikin, and at least he accepted me for who I was, even if he was mean about it.
Soon I had convinced myself that Kage was some sweet dream of a reality I could never reach. I didn't need another unrealistic dream about what my life might be like. My life was here with Daikin, as his bride.
I would graduate from high school in a year now, and then I would accept my fate like a woman and marry the head of the family. Still the thought of "sleeping" with Dai or having his children sickened me. What kind of deformed species could come from the Cat and "God"? It reminded me of Oedipus, a story we had read in school.
Cursed to marry his mother, Oedipus was doomed to father "A race of children too terrible for men to see". Looking back at history, especially Greek tragedies, made my fate seem a little less horrid. Still, at least before Oedipus discovered that his wife was his mother he got to have about ten years of good love and peace. All I got was one little fling with a man who couldn't accept me as I am.
I was engaged to Daikin quickly and without much fanfare. He barely even proposed.
"You and will wed after you graduate from school. Then, you and I shall be together until the end of our lives." His voice had been strong but grown weaker. I knew very well that Daikin was afraid of death. I could see it in his eyes.
Somehow the only time we ever seemed to really talk was at night. I would be almost asleep and he would suddenly admit something that he could bring himself to talk about during the day.
"Sai?" he had called one night.
"Yes?" I whispered, wishing I could just fall asleep in peace.
"I'm scared." He coughed and his thinning frame shook violently.
"Of what?" I asked carefully, getting off the floor and edging towards him. He reached out and grabbed one of my hands. Gently, he pulled it over to him and kissed it. That kiss sent shivers up my spine.
"I'm
scared to loose you. I'm sick, and I know I wont last long," his
voice shook,
"I want you and not another because I know you
will always be with me. I will go to the same place all the other
"Gods" go to, a resting place that coincides that of the Cat's.
That way, we can always be together."
His words scared me, and I shivered again. Stuck with Daikin in the afterlife was not something I was looking forward too. Why couldn't I be with Kage? Quickly I killed this traitorous thought. Why would I want to spend eternity with a liar, a trickster, and a man who couldn't keep his word? That rogue could rot for all I cared.
Sadly, this thought did not bring me the comfort I had hopped. Thankfully, Daikin fell asleep soon after that and I didn't have to deal with any more thoughts like those. That night, like many others passed and soon to come, I fell asleep next to Daikin, but felt more alone then I had the day I was told my father had died.
I soon found that every night I prayed that that would be my last; that I could just let go and never think about Kage or Daikin again. Sadly that never worked, and I still stayed Daikin's fiancé. Oh, how my life was cruel.
Of course, that was just the beginning of my pain. I never would have felt so sad if I only I had known what lay ahead. I one's life each person faces many different things.
Love, Hate, and fear are prominent examples. Ones that I seemed fated to face again and again. At least I wasn't alone.
