AN: You know, I've been wondering, how do you guys think the name "Kage" is supposed to be pronounced? Because it probably looks like "cage", but it's supposed to be pronounced "Ka-gay", you know? Yeah, that probably made no sense what so ever. Sorry. No more rambling. Oh, excepty for the usual, sorry it's short and late! I swear i'll update sooner next time.
-A-san
Sai and Kage
CHAPTER SIX:
Deceit From the Heart
"I closed my eyes again. Safe. Such a rare word in my life, and one coming from his lips! It sounded so beautiful. If only I could sleep forever. If only we could stay like this. If only time would freeze!"
Daikin did not find out. He never knew about the night I was supposed to be a fiance but instead I spent with Kage. The deceit was horrible, and I felt that with each lie I told a part of my innocence was consumed. Soon I would become a heartless thing, just like Dai. Still, I lied, because I knew that if I was taken from Kage again, I would never heal.
I was in love, and it was killing me. It made my heart ache whenever I thought of him, only to make it whole again when we came face to face.
I had begun to experience first hand what it felt like to be lured to the dark side by good intentions. I was becoming a manipulative and cruel liar, but all I was trying to do was stay with the man I loved.
So it began. We met at least three times a week, and we would go everywhere, anywhere, so long as it was far away from reality. I had just been announced the Sohma "god's" intended, and here I was, sneaking away to kiss the Rat at any chance I got.
And I got a lot of chances. Daikin wrapped himself in his work, now that we were engaged, and left me alone to do as I willed. It was awesome.
I was back at the dojo five times a week, and I stopped hating school. I worked my ass off, because I knew this beautiful freedom would be short lived. In ten months, I would be a Sohma bride to the man I despised and pitied, and the rest of my life would be devoted to him. Thinking like that, I figured I deserved a chance to go wild for a few fleeting months.
So Kari and I trained for hours on end I had tons of perfect practice rounds with Kage. It was exhilarating to watch him moved. He was swift, strong, and confident, and if it was possible, I think I fell even more in love with him just watching him kick some serious ass. Yeah, that probably sounds weird, but it's so true. Watching him win competitions and stuff was a huge turn on.
And no, I never tried to fight him full out. The curse was still the curse. If I didn't think I could stop Dai from pushing all of us around, I definitely didn't think I could beat the Rat in a full out match. Something's never change. Still, those days in the dojo were some of my best. Nothing in my life, then or now, has ever measured up. Well, one day did, but that hasn't come yet. A lot of pain came first.
"Why do we do this?" It was a hot summer day in mid July; seven months and counting. Kage and I were outside the dojo, lying in the grass, enjoying the beautiful weather. It was a perfect afternoon, and I felt that now might be the right time to ruin it.
"Do what?' he asked lazily, keeping his eyes closed.
I leaned over and kissed him passionately. That made him pay attention. When I pulled away I said pointedly, "This. Why are we in love?"
"Because you're beautiful, smart, kick-ass, and perfect. I'd have to be an utter idiot to just let you go." I must say, I was impressed. It's not often that I get a compliment like that. The fact that he said it made it ten times better. Still, it wasn't exactly an answer, or, it was, but it was ignoring some very important points I felt inclined to bring up.
"What about my fiancé?" He groaned in frustration and propped himself up on his elbows.
"That bastard can go rot in hell. He doesn't deserve you." These words didn't spark a fire in my chest like I wished they would.
"That's not my choice," I was stony faced and closed off again. I was getting creepily good at that. "Come February and new years we'll be married, and I will be locked up forever. But what will you do? You say you love me, but when I'm locked away and married off will you just go find some other gullible girl to love you?"
Kage looked hurt. He really did.
"Sai, how can you say that? If you marry Daikin, I will die. I don't even know how I'll manage to live with myself, let alone love again. There's no girl who'll ever match up to you."
Crap. I was crying. Big time. Almost half our time was gone, and every time I thought about it, which was about ten million times a day, my heart was enclosed in fear. I didn't want to say goodbye, and I sure as hell didn't want to walk down the aisle with that scum!
Kage grabbed me and held me so tight I knew I would bruise, but didn't even care. I held him with the same ferocity. We were both scared as hell.
"I love you, I love you, I love you. You are my one and only Sai, and if you think I'll ever forget about you, think again. We'll stop him, I swear we will." Kage said, and I buried my face in his neck and tried to believe.
The next few months went by quickly, far too quickly for the two of us. Daikin had made it official: The day of Chinese New Year was our wedding day. He had changed it from right after summer to February, and for that I was eternally grateful. Any chance with Kage was a chance at life.
School was over. At graduation I walked on stage and took my diploma without once cracking a smile. It was freedom for most high schools, but it was just another part to a very long curse for me. Now i could devote all my time to the dojo and Kage.
Seven months left. Seven months, and then my life would end. Kage and I had begun to be desperate. I spent every waking moment I could with him. We didn't talk about it anymore; we just held each other tightly. I could bear to let him go for even a moment. I knew that Dai would always be there waiting for me, but what he expressed towards me was far from love. What he wanted was control.
What Kage had for me was love, admiration, and trust. He respect me, and gave me all the love I could ever dream of. He was so perfect, i was afriad one morning I would wake up to find myself beside Daikin with Kage simply being a perfect dream. I was so afraid that Kage would just disappear, and I would be all alone once more.
