AN: Hey, guys, sorry for the delay in posting the chapter. I had a crazy week this time on top of a few writer's block moments.
That being said, quick announcement: I will be going on vacation for a while, so there will be no chapter upload this coming Monday. The following Monday, February 11th, is when updates will be returning regularly again. True Queen will still be updated this Tuesday since that chapter is already complete. With all that said, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
Chapter 45: Demons of the Lioness
Annie stared at him dubiously, her blue eyes gazing at him with concern. "Dillon, I know you've been going through a lot lately."
"You don't believe me, do you?" he asked with a tinge of disappointment in his tone.
"Do I believe that you were visited by the ghost of the First Titan who seems to be mentally stalking you? No, I don't," she answered with crossed arms.
"I'm not crazy," Dillon protested.
There was a sharp knocking on the door. "I can hear that you're awake, Dillon," one of the last voices they wanted to hear said.
The Shifter rolled his eyes. "We're coming out, Hanji."
"Excellent!" Hanji seemed to have returned back to her normal, excited self. "There's a lot more to go through today."
Dillon began to have a sinking feeling. "How long was I out for?"
"You were out for the rest of the day," Annie told him. "I was confined in the infirmary with you until further notice." Carefully, she helped him to his feet. "I need you to put this aside and focus on the task at hand. We'll talk about this later."
The Psion was quite miffed at his encounter being brushed off as a delusion, but there was nothing he could do about. His previous experiences did him no favors in the sanity department.
She wasn't done. "And Dillon? My past is only going to get worse. Don't pull us out this time. Let them see it all."
He nodded as he was led back to the war room. Hanji, once again, was waiting with bated breath, and Levi had a cold, neutral expression on his face. Dillon hoped that another fight wouldn't break out this time, and that Annie wouldn't instigate the captain into losing his temper again. Once he was seated back in the chair, Dillon said, "I'm ready to continue."
"Then get to it," Levi ordered. As expected, the man had not changed one bit since yesterday.
Dillon's eyes glowed again, bringing them back to the crystal mindscape. "Where to now?"
"You lied to us about not knowing how Titan Shifters are created," the captain began, glaring at Annie. "The truth comes out now."
She let out a sigh, a basement door opening. Unlike the bright light and images the last memory had, this one was completely black. All light was swallowed up by this darkness. "It was only a matter of time before I had to come clean. You want to know everything? Follow me." She walked towards the entrance, but she stopped at the doorway.
"Annie?" Dillon asked, worried.
She didn't respond to him. It wasn't like Annie to falter. Usually, when she had a task in mind, she would see it through to the bitter end. Now, it was like she was preparing herself for something. Her emotions were purposefully closed off from her boyfriend. She didn't want him to feel what she was feeling. Taking a deep breath, she entered the darkness, disappearing without a trace.
Dillon followed her footsteps, the world vanishing once he was inside. For a moment, he didn't feel anything, much less see anything. However, he began to feel something hitting his arms and legs, trying to get to his face. He found himself curled into a ball as the memory finally appeared. Three boys, a few years older than Annie, were kicking her around like some sort of rock. He couldn't tell where they were. Too busy trying to protect his (in this case, her) face.
The emotions came back in full force. Even though he was ready this time, it didn't diminish the severity of them. He could feel her anger as more bruises formed on her body. He could feel frustration at how she was taken down by these three assholes. In a small way, he could feel like she believed she deserved this beating for being so weak.
"Crawl back into your cave, devil," one of the boys demanded, managing to hit her right in the temple.
Annie was stunned, her guard lowering as the world spun quite a bit from that blow.
Before any of the three could continue this assault, a loud sound shook the ground in which they stood on. It seemed like the unholy combination of a shriek and roar.
"That… that roar," Hanji said, clearly shocked.
The assailants froze as the ground rumbled rhythmically, forcing their attention towards the building behind them.
Rounding the corner was a fifteen-meter Titan that bared a strong resemblance to that of the Female Titan. Like Annie, she had the muscular and skinless appearance. However, she had skin around her midsection and her face was missing the holes on both side for an unhinging jaw. The body of this Titan seemed more… mature that Annie's Titan, and that was as far as Dillon would go with thinking about that. He blamed Ymir for starting to notice these things. Both of them.
The boys let out a high-pitched scream as ran back to their parents, crying for help. They probably wet themselves along the way.
Seeing that they were gone, this new Female Titan knelt to Annie's level, her blue eyes glistening with worry. She lifted her up in the palms of her hand, displaying a gentleness that was a stark contrast to the monster that scared to boys away. "Annie, are you okay?"
Annie let out several coughs, her lips tinted with blood. Still, she managed a smirk. "Never better, Mom."
While no one could see it, Dillon's eyes widened so far, he thought they would explode out of his face. Annie only talked about her mother once all those years ago. Emma Leonhart.
"Did you know her?"
"I did for a while. Long enough. She was my hero."
Hanji let out an impressed whistle. "Wow. Now, that's a Female Titan."
Dillon was so close to kicking Hanji out of this memory. It seemed her love for Titans continued its disturbing trend.
Levi was only one brave enough to voice his disgust at the mad scientist. "Keep your fantasies out of here, Four-Eyes."
The memory shifted slightly to her mother, still in Titan form, sitting against the trunk of a large tree. A now-bandaged Annie was on her shoulder, sitting comfortably with her legs dangling off the edge.
"Daddy's mad at me, isn't he?" she asked timidly.
"You didn't provoke those boys, Annie," Emma told her, turning her face towards her. "Why would he be upset at you for that?"
"Because I failed to fight them off," she answered in a glum tone. "I slipped up."
"Well… maybe it's a good thing you did. If you had beaten them, the Marleyans would have an excuse to pay you back tenfold even if you are my daughter."
Annie scowled at that statement, annoyed at the reality of their situation. "If I was like you, I could beat them all with just my fingers. Boom! Send them flying into the sky."
Emma chuckled at her daughter's imaginations. "Can't deny a little enjoyment watching my much-smaller enemies go soaring like birds. But you know what I enjoy more?"
"What?"
"This." The Female Titan pulled Annie close and repeatedly kissed her forehead.
There was a sound coming from her daughter that was very foreign to the onlookers watching this memory. It was almost inhuman, but they were able to identify it: childish giggling. "Mom, stop it!" Annie protested, trying to shove her massive lips away.
"Gag me," Levi muttered. "Is there a point to this memory?"
"Shh!" Hanji scolded. No one had to see her to know she was mentally bouncing with barely-contained excitement. "Titan skin is so dense, but their lips are soft. I can feel them. It's amazing! Titans are so paradoxical."
Dillon refused to acknowledge her comments, focusing on what he found important. Annie was happier than she had ever been. He could feel her unabashed joy as if it was his own, despite her trying to get away from her mother's lips. Still, he couldn't help but tease her about it even if he meant the things he said. "You are so cute, Annie. A little, blonde, bubble of joy."
"Dillon, how far would you go if I threw you?" Present-Day Annie asked offhandedly.
The blacksmith immediately shut up.
Once Emma was done torturing her daughter, she placed her back on her shoulder,
Annie let out a sad sigh. "Why can't they just leave us alone? Haven't we done enough?"
"If you want things to change, Annie, you have to strive for redemption, not conflict," Emma told her, sobering up. "You know this. You may not have instigated this one, but last time-."
"I know," the girl interrupted. "I stuck my nose in where it didn't belong. I'm lucky to be alive. I know already, but… I'm just sick of this crap."
"You know your father and I can't protect you forever, especially if you pull another stunt like that again. You have to obey the Marleyans and leave them to their own devices."
"Yes, Mom," she muttered unhappily. She hated how this kept getting brought up.
Emma paused briefly before she voiced an idea she had been contemplating for a while. "Do you really want to be like me?"
"Big and badass? Hell, yeah," was the immediate answer.
"Remind me to have a talk with your father about your language," she replied with a roll of her eyes before getting back on track. "There's a new program out for children your age. It's called the Warrior Program. Originally, I wasn't planning on bringing it up, but with recent events, I feel it necessary to encourage you in this direction. Should you pass, you will be able to inherit one of the five Titan powers."
Annie brightened up considerably. "There's a chance I get to be a Titan Shifter?"
Emma chuckled, holding her in front of her face. "Slow down there, little lioness. There's more. If you go in this direction, you have to promise me to follow whatever orders the Marleyans give you no matter how you feel about them." She gave her a serious look. "We are their servants; nothing more, but if you succeed, you will receive the highest honors any Eldian can get in this life. Proving your worth to this country is what we live for. You must remember that."
For a moment, the small child didn't answer, but the thought of having this power and being able to use it how she saw fit… the possibilities were endless. Still, her mother was right. For now, she would have to keep her head down. With that in mind, she looked up and said, "I'll make you and Dad proud."
Emma smiled and pressed her against her cheek. "No matter what anyone says, you are the greatest gift this world has given me, Annie."
"I don't know if Mom ever knew what I had planned with the power," Present-Day Annie noted with melancholy. "I was just so sick of this country's treatment of us. I didn't give a damn about becoming an Honorary Marleyan like her."
"Honorary Marleyan?" Dillon asked.
"The highest honors Mom was talking about? That's one of them," she explained. "Honorary Marleyans are Eldians that have proved their worth to the country to the point where they are treated slightly better than garbage. Glorified tools, if you will."
"If you aren't useful, you're dead," Levi summed up.
"In our case, death is a mercy. Turned into Mindless Titans was our usual fate." The memory started to change."Now I know all of you are foaming at the mouth to watch three years of Hell that make your Commandant Shadis look like a kind, old man," Annie deadpanned.
"Just show us the relevant details," Levi ordered, rolling his eyes despite no one being able to see him.
"Very well."
The scene that appeared next was that of a classroom. Young children, all Eldians as identified by their armbands, sat in their creaky chairs while a woman was giving the tail end of a lecture to them.
"...and the Eldian devils moved themselves towards the new capital of Eldia, Paradis," she droned on. "With the majority of their forces relocated, the Marleyans rose up against their oppressors and finally took back the country that was once ours."
The children looked so transfixed by this tale, including a familiar, blond-looking boy seated at the front.
"Wait… is that Reiner?" Dillon asked, surprised to see him so small.
"Back when he was nothing but a pathetic child trying so hard to reach a goal that was constantly slipping through his fingers," Annie answered. There was no malice in her tone. Just cold, hard facts. "He would've been better off if he didn't make it."
"So, what does this memory entail?" Hanji wondered, wanting to get to the juicy stuff.
"That whole 'Eldians are devils' bit? Imagine that on constant repeat for the next three years. This is indoctrination at its finest. When that wasn't happening..." The scene moved on to Annie performing her maneuvers on another boy, this one having black hair. "...we were training to be the best of the best."
In the background, children were running obstacle courses while the drill instructor was shouting down their throats, hurling all sorts of insults at them. Definitely reminded the onlookers of their time in Training, though not nearly as young as these kids were.
"Ow!" the boy she toppled groaned. "How the hell are you that strong?"
"Training from my father," Past Annie answered simply, holding out her hand. "If you want, I can loan you to him for a while."
He chuckled a bit, taking said hand. "No thanks. I think I prefer to keep all my limbs in check."
"If you wanted that, you should have picked another line of work, Marcel."
"So, that's Marcel," Dillon muttered. "Not even five seconds, and I already feel like I'm looking in a mirror."
"You two had a lot of similarities," Present-Day Annie admitted. "One of the reasons why I was drawn to you."
"And the others?"
"Reasons that can wait," Levi interrupted. "Keep going."
Buzzkill. Dillon thought to himself.
"You got thrown on your ass again, Marcy?" an obnoxious, blond boy cackled, approaching the duo. "Sheesh, our grandmother could do better."
"That means she'd do better than you, too, Porky," Marcel shot back.
The boy's face turned red. "Hey, don't call me that!"
"You gotta work on those insults, Porco," Marcel said with a shake of his head.
Dillon raised an eyebrow. "Porco? That's his name?"
"Porco Galliard," Present-Day Annie introduced. "He and Marcel were the only brothers in this training. Porco had the talent he needed, but he had the demeanor of an albatross."
Past-Day Annie shook her head at the boys' bickering and moved towards the barracks to get some rest for a few minutes. Seldom did she get any in this place. To the Marleyans' very little credit, the barracks was clean. A stark contrast to the cesspool she used to live in.
Once she was inside, the door slammed behind her.
"Oh, joy, it's her," Present-Day Annie muttered in annoyance.
Before any of the onlookers could ask for details, a girl with long, black hair and the age of a teenager approached Annie. "You're getting pretty good out there. I was watching you."
Annie rolled her eyes at the comment. "I'm not in the mood, Pieck. Go bother someone else."
"I already did," she replied simply, leaning against the bunk. Even though she had a couple inches over Annie, she could still loom over her. "I said hi to Porco, did some shooting with Bertholdt, tried to help Reiner with his problems-."
"Okay, I get it," the blonde interrupted. "You've been busy. What do you want with me?"
"I've been able to figure out why each of us are here in this program, but you… you're a bit more interesting." Pieck purposefully blocked the door so Annie couldn't get out. "Everyone knows your mother as an Honorary Marleyan War Hero. Pretty sure she has a plaque for that, but you're the rebellious brat getting into scuffles with soldiers with the knowledge your mother would keep you alive. And now, here you are." She took a couple steps forward. "Annie Leonhart, the rebellious brat with exemplary combat skills. I don't know about you, but I would call that quite the dangerous combination."
The onlookers could feel Annie being unsettled by this girl, though she wouldn't show it, something she was very good at doing. "Feel free to assume what you want. I really don't care. Besides, if I recall, we 'devils' need proof for something like that to give to the Marleyans. I know you don't have it because there isn't any."
Pieck chuckled, making Annie's hairs stand on end. "I don't need proof, Annie. All I need is a well-timed accident. The world is a dangerous place after all. So many ways to die. In this barracks alone, five accidents could occur. A concussion on the metallic bars on the bunk beds, slipping and falling in the shower. I'll let you figure out the last three. Can't spoil everything for you."
The blonde took a step back, anticipating an attack at any moment.
The teenager just waved her off. "But I'm not feeling like it right now. I have things to do. When the urge hits me, I'll kill you." She talked so casually as if discussing her favorite foods.
"Please tell me this girl isn't one of the Titan Shifters," Dillon pleaded.
"She's the Cart Titan," Present-Day Annie identified. "A quadruped that's faster than I am. She's a good ally and a terrible enemy." She quickly added before Hanji could say anything, "You'll have your fill of Titan Shifters and their abilities soon enough, Hanji."
The Psion frowned as he stared at Pieck. "It's always the creepy ones that end up the most dangerous."
"I appreciate the subtle reminder," his girlfriend deadpanned.
Dillon winced and quickly changed the subject. "So, did you keep to yourself here, too?"
"Sometimes. Marcel and I were practically friends while we were in the program. He was someone worth respecting, but that's not what we're here for."
As the scene went dark, Dillon was assaulted by a sharp impalement of emotions. He cried out briefly before it subsided. "Annie, what was that?"
"You all wanted to know how Titan Shifters are made." Her unnerving coldness was back stronger than ever. "Here's your answer."
The memory changed once more to total darkness, though the onlookers felt themselves being led somewhere. Annie's hands were shackled behind her back with the barrel of a rifle being pressed against her skull. All it took was one false move to give the Marleyans an excuse to kill her. Today, at nine years of age, she wasn't keen on giving them one. However, the smell of decayed blood gave her little comfort on what was to come.
"Halt!" the squad leader ordered. "We're here."
Annie stumbled to a stop, nearly bumping into the man in front of her.
"Remove her blindfold," was the next, immediate order.
"But sir, it's too dangerous," one of the guards protested. "The brat will go nuts."
"It's her dying wish," the leader responded gruffly. "She did Marley a good service. Might as well give her this."
Who are they talking about? Annie wondered. None of this was making sense.
The blindfold was violently removed, her vision becoming spotty from the sudden light. However, once her eyesight returned to normal, her heart almost stopped.
They were in a massive cave with torches lined up on the walls to give the place its glow. Two staircases on opposite ends led to the top where a figure was kneeling on an altar-like center. The person was a woman with arms outstretched, chains attached to them. Her blonde hair was long enough to cover her face, but her voice was unmistakable. "Annie, I'm so proud of you."
Annie's mind went blank as she stood, frozen. "M-Mom?"
Emma smiled down at her. It was just as warm as it always was. "I love you, my little lioness."
On cue, two guards forced Annie to her knees while the squad leader withdrew a syringe from his jacket pocket. She recognized the fluid inside immediately and started thrashing in the grip she was held in. "No! Let me go!" the girl screamed. "Mom, make them stop!"
"Sweetheart, don't resist," Emma told her softly. "This is how things are meant to be."
Like a wild animal, Annie sunk her teeth into the leader's wrist, nearly making him drop the syringe in shock. Before she could make any real headway, the butt of a rifle smashed into the back of her skull. She hit the ground hard, the world spinning rapidly above her. Compared to the concussion she sustained, she barely felt the needle dig into her arm.
Fire engulfed her instantly like Hell itself came to drag her down into its warm embrace. She was burning alive, but when she opened her mouth to scream, a monster shrieked instead. Massive tendrils of flesh attached to her body like snakes, biting, stinging, fusing with her. There was no way to contain this, so she began to grow. The pain was so strong, she could barely breathe, but her body refused to let her fall into unconsciousness.
Standing at nine meters tall, Annie stared at the woman that was being sacrificed. Then, something primal took hold. It wasn't hunger; it was far stronger than that: desperation. Reaching out, she yanked the woman free of her chains, holding her before her face. The fear in her eyes did nothing to deter the Titan as she opened up her massive mouth. Then, she bit down.
The onlookers almost vomited as new tastes and smells assaulted them. The coppery taste of blood, the squishy chunks of internal organs, and the crunching of bones, breaking and crumbling from her giant teeth.
Then, the screaming started, getting higher in pitch by the second. Annie tore off the wrong half of her. Where Emma's legs and pelvis were, stranda of intestines were jutting out, blood dripping down to the ground. Seemingly annoyed by this predicament, Annie shoved the rest of her into her mouth and gulped. A lump that was her mother trailed down her neck into her stomach, the screaming coming to a grinding halt.
It was too much for Dillon to take as he not only exited the memory, but tossed everyone back to the physical world. He almost regurgitated as he fell to the floor and heaved. Fortunately, he was able to keep it in.
Hanji didn't fare much better, the taste still on her lips even if she wasn't the one who ate Emma. Throughout her time in the Scouts, she had watched comrades get torn apart in horrible, gruesome ways, but to be the instigator of such a death was nauseating. She slumped backwards into her chair, panting heavily.
Not even Levi could remain stoic after that. It truly dawned on him the shit situation she was dealt with, why the girl was the way she was. His wide eyes were fixed solely on Annie, waiting for her to say something, do something.
His patience was rewarded when the Shifter started trembling. Her messy hair attempted to hide it, but nobody missed the tears streaming down her face.
"I have always been a monster," Annie said, her words coming out in a broken tone.
Dillon scrambled to his feet and pulled her into a tight embrace, placing one hand on the back of her head.
She crumbled, breaking into sobs as she buried her face in his chest. Her emotions through the mental link sought to overtake Dillon, but he was able to remain composed for her. However, he could hear her thoughts running wild with how she was the worst creature imaginable, how she deserved to die.
"It's not too late," he whispered to her mentally, kissing the top of her head. There was nothing more he could say, but he refused to leave her side.
Nothing he said or did changed one thing: Annie could still taste her.
AN: I'm gonna be honest, I still don't know if I should bump this story up to an M after that stunt. I feel like anybody who reads any Attack on Titan story knows what they are getting into in regards to the violent category, but still. Let me know what you all think.
I have been planning Annie's backstory for quite some time now, and this is the head-canon I've chosen. I mean, we get no mention of Annie's mother in the anime or the manga, so I think it's a safe bet to guess that the previous Female Titan was her mother. It would explain Annie's demeanor, but that's my theory. If the manga contradicts it, Alternate Universe. Problem solved.
I know the middle memory is a bit blocky, but the way I see it, Annie is only showing the relevant people and situation. That, and it will give me a chance to showcase her relationship with Reiner and Bertholdt in the next flashbacks. Coming soon.
As for Pieck's introduction (DON'T REPEAT THAT BLASTED MEME!), I've gotta be honest: the manga has done me no favors in trying to figure her out. She feels more like a blank slate than anything. So, I settled for a very observant teenager with a ruthlessness that would put Annie's to shame.
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I look forward to your reviews, and I'll see you all in the next one.
