Two months later…
Things have been pretty interesting for the past month or so. For some reason, more demons have been coming to our caves, apparently just finding out that we were here. Of course, since we're an isolated race, they were merely here for territory. We saw vultures, spiders, snakes, and a couple of moth demons. I fashioned myself a sword that aided me in battle. It wasn't as powerful as Tetsusaiga, but I couldn't be choosy. Every time I'd defeat a race of demons, I'd add an notch to it and make it better than it was before. I've seen some pretty nasty stuff, especially when it came to the spiders and moths with their silk. More often than not, the cubs were always the ones targeted. The silk was pretty poisonous, so I had no choice but to use my sword to protect me. The battles were tough, but in the end, I always came through and nobody was ever injured.
I've also taken it upon myself to start teaching self-defense to the cubs, a few little tricks and attacks that could come in handy against carrion crows or anything on the small side. My heart was in this 100 and I always thought with it, just as I had promised. I had gotten braver and stronger and things couldn't have been better. I watched the moon phases and the stars every night as I lay on that rock. I kept an especially close watch on those two stars that shone the brightest. On the right of the 2nd one, there was still a blank space. I wondered what could cause a star to appear there, and if I had one last thing that I had to do.
As the moon started disappearing again, I decided that it was a good time for preparation. It was time for us to relocate and join up with Koga's tribe. I called on him and he came without fail. It had been a while since I saw him last, and I wasn't exactly myself at that point. "So princess, what have you got in store for me this time?"
I approached him and put my hands on his shoulders. "First of all, I want to apologize for my behavior the last time we met. I wasn't thinking clearly and I was pretty teetering on the brink of insanity."
"What exactly happened to cause you to do that?" He smiled, wanting an answer.
"A few nights previous to that day, Naraku attacked me. He corrupted the jewel shards I had collected and he turned me loose. He invoked my rage and when he disappeared, that rage reminded. I wanted to kill someone and I didn't care who. I saw the visions of everyone around me getting killed by humans, so I wanted to kill any number of humans that got in my way. Then I caught Kagome's scent and I ran in that direction. First I added the monk, Miroku, then Kagome tried to figure out what was wrong."
"Don't tell me…"
"For some odd reason, I couldn't attack her. I didn't want to attack her. But that night, Inuyasha was mortal… so I attacked him. I was ready to kill him and his human heart was the only thing that stopped me. I was so shaken by what I did that, when I transformed into a full-demon, I lost a piece of myself for a few days."
"Ok… you lost me."
"I couldn't feel a thing. I knew no fear, no pain, and no love… I trained with Inuyasha and matched him move for move. He then asked for my jewel shard, but I couldn't take him seriously. He then grabbed my throat and I handed it off, although I intended to do so at that point. Him strangling me was part of another test… but I didn't want to fight back. I felt nothing, no fear, no angry or anything. He just kept going and if Kagome hadn't stopped him, he could have killed me. I realized that when I lost that piece of myself, I lost everything I felt for Inuyasha. I didn't want to feel for him so much that it could get between him and Kagome, but I also didn't want to feel nothing at all. I wanted things to be back to normal and with some rest, I finally got it that way."
"What's that got to do with me?"
"I attacked you in an attempt to get myself to feel again; I wanted to be angry and I wanted to hurt. I knew you were capable of doing that and you did me such a huge favor that day." I laughed, "I knew that I couldn't kill you because you're a strong demon. I'm only half… somewhere along the line, I forgot that and who I was. Spending all that time with Inuyasha was changing me and the truth is that I can't be with him all the time. It's been two months since I've seen him." I started to walk away, "This is the first time I've really thought or talked about him in a while."
"Well, I accept your apology. Shall we start moving out?"
"Sure…" I nodded. The next couple of nights, we escorted my tribe to Koga's den. Everyone seemed to be getting along fine with each other, even though we were cats and dogs. Something about this made it feel so right. I was beginning to like being with Koga, but I wasn't quite ready to open my heart to him. I just knew that I could be myself around him.
The 2nd to last night, there was the tiniest crescent moon in the sky. We headed back to Koga's den and he was greeted by a female wolf demon. She was pretty with shiny, bouncy brown hair. "Princess, I'd like you to meet Ayame."
I held out my hand, "It's nice to meet you."
"You too. Koga tells me you're quite the… half-demon." I shrugged, "I don't mind. Being half-demon is nothing to be ashamed of." She shook it and smiled. I spent the night over there, talking with her all about my different adventures and she was amazed at all that I tried to accomplish. I just knew, though, that she and Koga were kind of together, but that was all right. It wasn't like I would have went for a full demon. My heart knew that it still belonged, even after all this time, it still belonged to Inuyasha.
