When Susan returned with the tea things, everyone was quiet. After a few minutes, she said, "What's wrong? Why is everyone so silent?"

The rest of them looked at Peter. He knew they were all waiting for him to say something, so he cleared his throat. "Susan, we need to know what's going on with you."

"What do you mean?" she said, taking a sip of her tea.

"Why are you refusing to believe Edmund and Lucy and Eustace? They went to Narnia, Susan." He saw Susan's face darken, but he pressed on. "If you are upset about it, then please tell us. We can help you. We've always stuck together. You aren't alone in this."

"Susan, you shouldn't feel as if you can't talk to us about it," said Lucy. "We want to help you."

"Oh, what do you know about it?" she spat at Lucy. "You have no idea what it's like."

"Now look here," said Edmund angrily. "There's no reason to speak to Lucy like that. Of course we know what it's like. If you had bothered to listen, you'd know that Lucy and I can't ever return either. So you can stop being such a bad sport about it all. You're a queen, for pity's sake. You might want to start acting like it."

"A queen?" Susan laughed. "Queen of what, exactly? In case you haven't noticed, this isn't exactly a kingdom, is it?" she said, waving her hand around the room.

"Is that what all this is about?" said Eustace. "You're upset that you don't live in some sort of castle?"

Susan's eyes narrowed. "Oh, shut up, Eustace. You don't even know what you're talking about—"

"Susan!" said Lucy, shocked.

"—and you don't know anything about what we've done," she went on, ignoring Lucy. "Until a few days ago, you were the most insufferable know-it-all—"

"Well, I've changed!" said Eustace defiantly.

"Oh really?" she scoffed.

"People change," Edmund quietly said.

Susan raised a trembling finger and pointed it at Eustace. "I will never—ever—accept that Aslan called you to Narnia." She turned and looked at Peter. "How can you possibly listen to him?" she cried, gesturing towards Eustace. "How could he tell us anything about Narnia?"

Peter stood and stared at his sister sternly. "That's enough, Susan. I won't have you speaking to the others like this. Be careful, before you say something you'll regret."

"The only thing I regret," she said, "was following Lucy back through that wardrobe." She looked around at the others. "You may have all accepted your fate, and have accepted that fact that you'll never go back. But I can't. After all we did for Narnia, all we went through to defeat the White Witch! We deserved to be kings and queens. We deserved to stay in Narnia. And then," she went on, growing more upset with every word, "Aslan brought us back. He let us go again. I thought he wanted us there, that maybe stumbling back through the wardrobe was some sort of mistake. But no," she said bitterly. "He just wanted us to save them all again. Make everything right. Again. And then when we were done, he sent us back, as if none of it mattered." Tears began to fall down her cheeks, and she buried her face in her hands.

There was a shocked silence. Then Lucy went to Susan and put her arms around her. "Oh, Susan," she whispered. "What a terrible thing to believe."

Susan pulled away from her sister and stood. Even though her cheeks were wet, she stood tall, and the others could see a part of her was still Queen Susan, the Gentle, the heart of Narnia, the proud monarch that an entire country of creatures looked to for love. She had always acted as mother to all of Narnia, and her people had loved her dearly for it. For a moment, time stopped in that room, the four siblings sharing a long look. Peter and Edmund were also standing. Peter looked hurt, but determined. Edmund was also obviously hurt, but angry at Susan's words. Lucy simply seemed bewildered, as if she wanted to say something but couldn't remember any words.

Eustace had always found the way the men aboard the ship had fawned all over Edmund and Lucy was strange, even though they were supposed to be king and queen. He never fully understood his cousins as the rulers of Narnia. Seeing them now, Eustace finally knew why Caspian and Reepicheep and all the others had always spoken of his four cousins they way they had. Peter was the protector, always working the hardest and willing to save them all at any cost. Edmund was the voice of reason, just as fierce as Peter, and balanced him with his sharp intelligence, making sure that their plans and their rules were right and fair. Lucy was the healer, bringing life back to anything, not just with her magic cordial, but with her energy and her laughter. But Susan was the compassionate one, the one they all turned to for comfort and strength. Eustace thought she looked beautiful.

"Susan, don't be like this," said Edmund finally. "You can't blame Narnia, or Aslan. We did what we did because it was our duty."

"Edmund is right," said Peter. "You are still a queen of Narnia. You must remember that."

Slowly, Susan said, "You may all play-act at being kings and queens if you like. But I just won't. I'm not a queen any longer."

"Susan, stop all this!" said Peter with a desperate edge in his voice.

"You're not High King anymore, either," she said. "Keep your memories and your stories. I'm finished with all of it." She turned and quickly left the room. Edmund looked absolutely furious, and Peter had to grab his arm to stop him from charging after her. Lucy called her name, but she was already gone. She turned to her brothers with tears in her eyes. "How could this have happened?" she asked.

"I shouldn't have pressed it," sighed Peter sadly. "Oh, well done."

"This is not your fault," said Edmund. "No matter how much you say it, Peter. It's none of our faults."

"It is a terrible shame," said Eustace. The others looked at him. "For a minute there, she really did seem like a queen."

Upstairs, Susan ran to her room and slammed the door. She sat down hard on her bed, pounding it with clenched fists, trying to keep from screaming in anger and frustration and misery. After a while, finally defeated, she laid down across her bed. She half expected Lucy to knock, and was grateful for the peace and the solitude. Suddenly, Susan felt horribly tired. Her eyes began to close, and she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror facing the bed. She thought it was her eyes at first, so she closed them tight and looked again.

Her reflection stared back at her in the mirror. It was her face, eyes red with tears, and her own body in the image. But instead of wearing a sweater and skirt and stockings, she wore a long dress with ribbons along the edge. Her hair wasn't pulled back into a bun, but hung loose around her, with a light golden band around the top of her head. The bed wasn't the same either—there was no knitted bedspread, but a large comforter that looked like a cloud. Even though Susan couldn't make out the rest of the room in the light, she knew it wouldn't be the same room that she shared with her sister, but a much larger one, with chests of clothes and a vanity with pearl-handled combs, and beyond that, a large window that opened to the southern coast.

Without taking her eyes from the mirror, she sat up. Her reflection did the same, looking at her with the same wide-eyed expression. Susan slowly swung her legs around the side of her bed, and so did the other Susan. They reached out a hand (Susan's right, the other Susan's left) towards each other, and touched fingertips where the mirror was. As if caught in a dream, Susan stepped forward, and through the mirror. The two Susans looked at each other silently, both of their mouths forming a wide O of surprise.

There was a noise at the door of the bedroom. Susan turned her head and saw the door open on its own. She looked back, but the other Susan was gone. However, she had no time to think about that, for at that moment, a familiar voice said, "Welcome, Daughter of Eve."


A/N: I think there will be one more chapter after this. Thanks again to everyone who has been reading and reviewing!