Long time, no see. Uh, everything I will give sounds like excuses. This is still irregularly being updated.

I hope you are managing to float wherever you are. All my love, warmth and strength. Enjoy! and I would love to hear from you!


For your references

"Talk"

"Parseltongue"


Chapter 41

The Ever-Expanding Mind Bog

Cordelia's POV

When Tom would ask her about it later, Cordelia would absolutely deny that she had been looking for a chance to take Dumbledore head on again. But a part of her had been itching.

Sure, there was a part, the prudent one, the planner, that told her that the silence and minimal movement from Dumbledore was a good thing. They needed stability. The past few months had been one crisis after another. The final exams were almost on their head and before that, they had to deal with the Bonanza, which her parents and a lot of parents were going to attend. Really, asking for a break from politics and rage and Dumbledore shenanigans was the best thing for her barely put together sanity.

Of course, Fate did not agree. Dumbledore played right into Fate's plan to try to screw Cordelia over. Of course, Cordelia was an expert in dodging whatever plans Fate cooked up. So, it did not exactly go Fate's way. Or it did. If Fate just wanted to reignite her rage issues or get her in trouble with Tom.

She wondered how the reverse had happened. How Tom had started to reign in her murderous impulses instead of the other way around?

Not that she was complaining. Okay, maybe she was. Tom had a horrible and effective 'I am disappointed' look.

It made her cry. She never wanted him unhappy with her. Never.

Cordelia felt Ladon bite her finger. His venom sacs were underdeveloped but he took every opportunity to prick her fingers with his fangs whenever he thought she was zoning out.

She hissed reproachfully at him, only to be flicked by the tail of Styx.

Baby snakes, her foot.

Okay, maybe they were not entirely wrong. Cordelia's sanity was hanging on a very ….

The memory barrier she had erected was basically like a leaking active volcano. There was going to be a big eruption, but before that, there were smaller things, like very serious mood swings, compulsions, obsessions, irrational behavior, and often, very reckless and childish instincts. Her mind was scattered. And a lot of it was incoherent.

It was so easy to fall down the rabbit hole.

Her snakes prevented it. And weren't magical snakes intuitive and smart?

Her companions unlike Jormy talked very little, preferring to snooze on her body. Sure, they were young, but Cordelia felt that they saw her through her a lot.

It was like how an infant was much attuned to the mother's emotions. Only her infants told her off when her sanity started to unravel.

Cordelia appreciated it. They never ratted her out and somehow grounded her into this reality. She supposed a lot of it was because of sleep deprivation and that the leaking memories and emotions had not been consolidated in ages. She had been unable to meditate or do occlumency and it was a bad idea overall.

She should really sleep. But she did not sleep well without Tom. Not anymore

And with Evelyn and her sisters living on the same floor, it had gotten a bit harder to retain their domesticity.

They had crazy schedules. She was tutoring fifth years in Runes and Arithmancy. The Bonanza work was hectic. And fourth-year homeworks were no joke. And the other half of her time was spent in painstakingly collecting and weaving the silver and gold unicorn hair into a tapestry of Gott Clan in its regality.

It was from an unlikely alliance of wixes and goblins when the goblins had come to the Wizarding Council to offer their allegiance.

It was a very strategic move. History seldom remembered Goblins for anything good before Gringotts. She was acknowledging a piece of history that was not remembered.

It would be woven by the hands of a magicae who remembered the scene in the memories she inherited, spun from freely given unicorn hair. It would be priceless.

The problem was that she was not very great at weaving. She had learned a little with her times with centaurs and werewolves and some communities she would not name because she was bound by secrecy.

But coming back to when things went south in the double period of Transfiguration, Cordelia had been bored out of her senses as she repeatedly did the assigned task with color and texture variations with inward sighs.

Evelyn had stopped trying to escape Dumbledore's radar and was seated right next to her. It was a bold move for her friend, but honestly, most of them reckoned that Dumbledore would not be foolish enough to engage with them in any form. He was on very thin ice.

Cordelia was not sure what made the hair stand on her back, her battle instincts, or that she was already on edge on her hyperawareness. It might have simply been that Cordelia was more aware of Evelyn's mind (they had recently started basic occulumency) so any tangible meddling with the frequency of her mind (in such close proximity) was going to be noted by Cordelia rather quickly.

But she froze when she felt Dumbledore's psyche brush Evelyn's mind. HOW DARE HE?

Cordelia tilted her head. All the angst, all the anger of not being able to rest for the last few days, all the…why could not this man stop meddling?


Evelyn's POV

Evelyn had an inkling that Cordelia was deliberately putting things away leisurely after the bell indicated the end of the class.

Or she should have. Or others should have. But everyone thought that Cordelia was with someone else.

Of course, by the time Tom, Abraxas, and she made their way back to the classroom, Cordelia and Dumbledore were having a staring match. They did not even look aside at all the noise she and her companions made.

It was only a gasp and a worried mutter from Abraxas, "Mind combat!" that made her realize that it was not merely staring.

How could she be so foolish? The eyes are conduits of the mind. It was the first lesson in Occlumency.

They did not have to wait, wonder or worry for long because Dumbledore quivered and slumped down unconscious on the floor.

It was then that Evelyn saw the power radiating from Cordelia's eyes when it started ebbing under the surface.

"He tried to use leglimency on Evie," Cordelia said before Tom or anyone could get a word in.

Tom stared at her.

"I have simple wards that protect her mind until she gets better. It led him to my head. And instead of backing away, he started exploring it, ecstatic at finding a back door. I may have lost my temper then." She tucked a hair ringlet behind her ear.

Tom hugged her from behind and Cordelia sighed back into his arms.

Abraxas was looking back and forth between his cousin and the slumped form of the Deputy Headmaster.

"The Bog?" Tom softly questioned.

"The Bog," Cordelia confirmed with a nod, "The more he explored, the more he got trapped. He was lost so he started projecting his memories to remember who he is. I had not meant to drag it out. I finally pushed him out. I may have meddled with his memories so he does not remember this exactly. All he will remember is using leglimency and me throwing him out."

Abraxas nodded, "He cannot complain. He will have to admit that he used mind arts without consent on you or Evelyn."

Cordelia extended her hand from Tom's embrace and Evelyn grasped it tightly.

"We should head for lunch," Tom said after a minute of silence as they absorbed the incident.

They left Dumbledore unattended.


Tom's POV

Tom would take a sigh of relief once the showcase was truly behind them. It had been intense for him in the past few days.

Lia had turned fifteen. And Tom had been as nervous about this as he had been about the courtship presents. It was daunting, not just having the means to be able to do things for her, but his almost ardent need to do something for her.

Her parents had shown up to surprise her. Between telling them about their courtship (not to be disclosed to Lord Black just yet), introducing them to Evelyn, and letting them in on the sponsorship (also not to be disclosed to Lord Black yet); it had been intense few hours.

Her parents were used to her antics, thank Morgana, because they took all the secrecy in stride. They had been perfectly nice to Tom over the winter break, and the streak continued. Only this time, Tom felt even more scrutinized or in the spotlight, despite it all.

Mrs. Black had hugged him and plopped a kiss on his cheek, with a sparkle in her eyes, so much like Lia.

Tom was not used to this attention; specifically, attention paid to him and not to the persona he presented.

Of course, her parents had clubbed their visit to be guests in the showcase, which saw most Lords, and important figures and families in attendance.

It had gone splendidly. Monsieur Fronsac had even tried to court them to do encores on stage during summers. That had not worked out, but his claims had left Bolton in deep thought.

Tom had gotten an almost civil, and admiring look from Lord Black at everything they had managed to achieve. And he knew the man did not like him.

Well, touche.

It was just that Tom had loved the attention at some point. He would have loved the chance to schmooze with the magical high society. And to an extent, he did. But it was also very, very grating to be so performative when he knew he could shed all his layers in front of Lia.

It probably would not have been if he had managed a decent sleep schedule for the past week. Between the two major countdowns, he had rested very little. Cordelia was still bunking with Evelyn. He had gotten used to restful sleep courtesy of Cordelia, and it was very hard to work without it right now.

He was also pulsating with concern. Lia had been almost flighty in the past week, often cheerful to the brink of it, and sometimes low to the point of… something was bugging her and she was not even acknowledging his subtle or direct inquiries.

It took him to see through her performance. It was flawless, but Tom knew her now.

He kept an eye on her, as she moved around the room. There was a planned distance, lest both of them give their courtship away. She greeted all the cousins, all her aunts, and uncles, all the lords and ladies. She had Dorea and Charles by her side. A bold choice considering all things. Tom's lips quirked upwards just the slightest bit. It was as clear a stamp of approval for their possible troth as she could manage.

Abraxas stood by Tom, functioning as his liaison in any conversation. Tom had kept a low profile.

Alphard and Zabini ran a grotesque interference whenever some adult got too close, too invasive so as to wheedle out Tom's identity. Gambol, Prince, Gore, and Walburga of all people were also doing some things to take away attention from him.

They did not have to try too hard. Cordelia had the spotlight even when she did not try.

Tom saw Kyran move away from Lia and his parents' side and make a beeline for Abraxas and him.

"Our parents have decided to spend some time together. We will be with them. She says you should start the party without her. She will make her way back," He gently muttered to Tom as he shook his hand with Abraxas, gave him a side hug, and vanished back into the crowd.

Tom internally sighed. It was hard to share Cordelia.


Cordelia's POV

Cordelia tightened her cloak around her neck. Summer was nearly here, yet dungeons always carried a certain chill, especially at night.

It had been a lovely evening. She had missed on festivities that she was sure her Bonanza group had engaged in, but there was a different kind of joy in meeting family and realizing that connection all over again.

It had been ages since her mother had met Uncle Chester and Aunt Carmela one on one. Uncle Arty had a knack for enforcing 'Blacks first' rules that alienated their cousins quite a lot. It was also why her father had remained in France. Sure, it kept the roots of family business strong in France, but it also ensured Uncle Arty could not nag him to death.

Uncle Arty had been unable to keep Uncle Rion away from Mum. The sibling bond was quite strong. And over time, her parents had built bridges with more of the extended family.

There was a solid correspondence with McKinnons. Mother had ensured that. Cordelia also had, seeking Kyran out, writing him letters, sending him interesting, rare magical insights. And with how intelligent and gregarious Kyran could be, it had never been a chore. She had not lied when she proclaimed him a favorite. See, she loved family. With the Blacks and Abraxas; she also felt responsible. Kyran was more of an equal, a comrade in mischief, almost as industrious as her in making mayhem without getting caught.

She also saw him more; spending vacations at Malfoys or getting away from Black manor more often than her parents, in the guise of playdates and childlike whims.

Meeting up was rare for the adults. Her mother and father seldom made longer trips to England. Black Manor could be oppressive. Most of it was spent sorting out Black family affairs or attending Black family events. There is only so much catching up you could do at social events.

Bridges were good. It meant other people to lean on besides Uncle Arcturus. Should things go to shit; and she expected them to; she did not want to lose her parents to the oppression of Lord Black simply because they had no other social liaisons.

Her parents were independently rich, so money was not going to be an issue; social clout could be.

It was a bit exhausting to be so calculative. Sometimes, Cordelia wondered if she had any authentic bone left in her body. She had spent most of her life as June reacting to things; often too late.

But she was at the other extreme now; moving about things on a large board, in anticipation of several possible domino cascades. One little change and something entirely new would emerge out of the toppling. She could not control everything; yet realizing it intellectually and actually allowing herself a moment of respite were two different things. She was so deep in her existential thoughts, that she barely thought of her route and surroundings.

She almost missed the sliver of magic alongside a darkened corridor. Almost.

She would have missed it entirely had the sliver of magic not risen up gently to caress away her discomfort and dark thoughts. It was not the castle though.

One tilted, squinted glance and she knew it was a modified notice me not charm; not powerful but effective. Truly, a fascinating bit of magic, somehow obscuring sound and… what interesting threads. She unraveled the threads almost unconsciously.

The charm was so understated that the caster did not even realize it vanishing away until a few moments. Cordelia did not have the presence of mind to recast it, for the sight was completely, absolutely something that her various social calculations had failed to predict.

Eileen Prince and Trinity Gore were in a rather intimate embrace, their outfits askew, half a bosom out here and there, with hands under skirts and roaming, and tongues caressing the insides of each other's mouths.

Cordelia had not seen this coming, and while her brain registered it, and before she could think to restore their privacy; her presence and scrutiny had made itself known to her friends.

Cordelia braced herself to apologize as she saw their eyes widening; but it took her a moment to realize that they were turning white, their magic entwining tightly. Fear.

She took a deep breath, stepped closer to them, and erected a better privacy ward.

It looked like Eileen was trying to say something, but words were failing her. It was not just fear, Eileen felt shame. Gore was reeling in guilt, looking at Eileen and then looking at Cordelia, but mostly at Eileen in worry.

It was clear they were waiting for her verdict. It took Cordelia a moment more to realize that; so used to her liberal circle of 21st century that she forgot her friends were awaiting a judgment; expecting some chosen words on their choices, maybe hate, and disgust.

What a self-absorbed ninny she had been.

She cleared her throat and tried to prevent the tears that were coming unbidden. She could not believe they were terrified of her reaction. She had clearly failed as the source of comfort that she had set out to be.

"Please don't be afraid," Cordelia said softly.

That brought Eileen out of her stupor. She remained pale, but her eyes were no longer unfocused in imagining ghastly possibilities.

Cordelia's mind was made, she curtsied, "Please forgive me for intruding in a private moment Heiress Prince, Miss Gore. Your modified spell caught my fancy and I unraveled it in my curiosity with very little care."

"I did not expect you to be so cruel in your jesting with us," It was Gore who almost scoffed in derision.

Cordelia had remained in the curtsy, but she got up when she realized that she was exacerbating the issue. The woman did not need her apologies or excessive politeness. That is not what they associated with Cordelia Faye Black.

Well-intentioned as she had been, she had to take more charge here.

She sighed, "Well, I did not see this coming." There, that was direct.

"But I am disappointed…" Prince's face went paler, and Gore looked crestfallen.

Cordelia raised her voice and emphasized, "But I am disappointed in myself. I had always thought that I depicted myself as fair-minded and concerned for my friends. If you are afraid of being yourself in front of me and can imagine me being cruel and making a mockery of any part of you; then I have fallen short of what I set out to do."

Eileen blinked rapidly at her. Gore gaped.

Encouraged, Cordelia took a step forward towards them, "I admit we have not spoken freely on such issues; except rights of women in comparison to men; so, my stance might have been unclear. You were not doing anything that should make headstrong, and stubborn women like you second guess yourself, tremble, fear or feel shame or guilt. I would not allow anyone to pass judgment on what Tom and I have, and I impeach you to demand and expect something similar."

Trinity and Eileen were still frozen.

"My silence was not about the fact that you are two women, but disbelief at what I did, and that I did not notice this earlier. I violated your privacy, and one of your very well guarded secrets, and the private moment is out without your consent. I do give my word that I will not jeopardize anything. As far as all of us are concerned, nothing has changed, except two of my friends are intimate with each other. And I wish them all of the happiness or whatever they hope to get out of this relationship."

Gore laughed in disbelief. Eileen looked more considering.

"Is it a French thing, or a veela thing?" Gore asked, always quick to jape to hide her discomfort.

Cordelia raised an unimpressed eyebrow, prejudices…prejudices.

She shook her head, she did not want to appear critical of any of it, "Neither, I just believe people should be allowed to love whoever they want. I hope to be extended the same courtesy."

They were still staring at her.

She waited patiently, letting them soak it in and verbalize anything they want to say. It was not as easy an adjustment for them as it was for her.

Gore broke the silence, "We did not mean to, okay! It was not like love, love. We just, we were working so closely with the whole potions things, and Eileen is such a brilliant person. And things went so spelendidly tonight. And we were being so prudent and quiet and, then we were heady after the spectacular feedback and ovations and praise, and we drank and were slightly bit tipsy and I do not even know how Prince went along with it, because she is always saying something acerbic to me, but I was goading her, she is the heiress…and more careful, I may be a Ravenclaw but you always me a Gryffindor for my impulsivity anyway…"

Prince slowly turned to look at Gore, who was looking everywhere but at Cordelia and Eileen, and was still blabbering. Cordelia decided to interrupt Gore's verbal diarrhea.

"Well, the only reprimand and suggestion I have for you are to have a conversation with clear heads without being intoxicated. And even if you do not," Cordelia shrugged, then went on, "Schools are the places where these things happen, you are discovering parts of yourself, it is no different than me bantering with Tom, or Dorea and Charlie going on their little nooks, or what I hear is a common drinking game in some upper levels. Don't be afraid, period."

Eileen and Trinity stared more. Cordelia decided that they needed to be able to think without her hovering and Cordelia was starting to fool a little foolish. And God, she was tired and sleepy. She wanted to cuddle with Tom and go to sleep, and do brainless things.

She excused herself "Well, I must go and see about Tom and Evelyn. I shall see you both in the Court meeting on the weekend. Eileen you must tell me some theory and arithmancy behind the spell, the threads were most riveting, "

She made herself scarce very quickly, promising herself to address this as soon as she was able to snag some rest.

Uh, she needed some sage advice. And after months and months, she missed Hermione's cool logic, and Sid's interpersonal divinery enough for her heart to ache considerably. They would have known what to say to Gore and Prince, but also to her about her thoughts of inadequacy.

She was so unaware that she had not even realized that she needed to set them at ease. And then she did such a poor job of it.

And who the hell would advise her about sapphic friends in 1940s. To hell with the time!

Before she buckled on the floor with her surmounting grief; she sprinted to be with Tom.


Tom's POV

Tom came to awareness with some lazy contentment. He had not slept this well in a while. He had dreamless sleep, the warmth was just right and the comforting weight on top of him…

He blinked his eyes open and his chin bumped into Cordelia's nose. He was not just an unwitting pillow, but almost a mattress today. She was wrapped around him, all limbs out, and using the crook of his neck and shoulder to snuggle deeper. Soft puffs of air occasionally tickled his ears, and the slightest movement of his just made her cling more.

He embraced her and rolled them both, so she was nestled on his side. Still closely pressed, still clutching him. He pecked her hair lightly.

He had no recollection of when she came back, or that she chose to come to sleep on top of him. Wards had not tripped and Tom was too much at ease with her presence to be on alert.

She must have been really tired to forget that she was sharing with Evelyn at the moment, or she just deliberately… Tom tucked away a tuft of her hair and pressed a light kiss on her temple.

He himself had turned in late; after ensuring that everyone inebriated from the drunken stupors (Odgen really did love his Firewhiskey) had at least crashed on a respectful, comforting sleeping spot in one of the several guestrooms in the Slytherin Tower. He had also tried to wait for Cordelia and was not sure when sleep came.

He decided not to wake her; she could use rest. In the same vein, he just fluffed the pillows, arranged the duvet back from its creases, plopped another kiss on Cordelia's head, and dozed off.

If he left the bed, she would wake up. Anyway, he had a few days' worths of sleep to catch on.


FIN. And hopefully I will be back sooner than last time