Disclaimer: Song isn't mine nor is law and order SVU or any of its characters.

"Elliot we cant be together, our jobs would be lost, it's not aloud!" She shouted at me, it was my fault for making her angry I know but at the time all I could of was myself. I was angry, how could she not think this was right?

"You're scared to admit you love me Olivia! But I know you do…I-I love you." Great I was stuttering perfect and I had said those words, regretted them instantly of course because the look on her face was surprise not pure happiness as I had hoped. I know why I said them though, I meant them I knew they were true. Still I was angry I wanted her to hurt too, I wanted her to regret not saying she loved me too, "Oh please Olivia since when did you care about the job? Last time I checked you were requesting a new partner anyway?"

"Elliot I don't have time to deal with this right now, I have better things to waste my time on!" She shouted, I realized then how strange this scenario was, Olivia, beautiful Olivia who always hid her emotions was yelling, was screaming at me because she was pained. Her face was stretched and tired.

I died, so many years ago.
But you can make me feel like it isn't so.
And why you come to be with me, I think I finally know, mmm.
You're scared, ashamed of what you feel.
And you can't tell the ones you love, you know they couldn't deal.

A whisper in a dead man's ear, it doesn't make it real.
That's great, but I don't want to play.
'Cause bein' with you touches me, more than I can say.
And since I'm only dead to you, I'm sayin' stay away.

And let me rest in peace.

But my anger got the better of me as it always did it seemed to consume my body. My vision even seemed to be going hazy. Olivia was talking but I wasn't listening I couldn't stand the sight of her anymore knowing that it would only bring me pain.

"Elliot I'm sorry but this wouldn't-wouldn't be aloud, I-I-I'm sorry…"

"You're scared, but of course here I am hoping you'd love me too but obviously you have other things on your mind other than me…I'm a fool for thinking you'd love me, that we would be perfect together…"

"Elliot…I-I…" For a moment I thought she'd say she loved me but I had hoped for too much.

"Get away then Olivia go ahead get a new partner forget you and I ever met! Don't you get it leave my apartment go away 'cause I don't wanna see you, you and I have nothing now, our love our friendship nothing! So just leave!

Let me rest in peace! Let me get some sleep!

Let me take my love and bury it in a hole six foot deep!

I can lay my body down but I can't find my sweet release!

So let me rest in peace!

"Elliot listen to yourself, I barely recognize you anymore!" Her voice rang across the apartment, it sounded so wounded and so confused. It was my fault she was like this not just because of the way I'd been treating her that day but also because of the way I'd closed up ever since Kathy left me and took the kids with her, everything in the end was my fault. It was so ironic because at the same time I'd do anything for her, anything but I doubted she'd even care.

"I said leave me be let me rest in peace! I know you feel the same way Olivia and go ahead torture me until you figure that out but please until you realize you care about me just leave stop coming to my apartment!"

You know, you got a willin' slave.
And you just love to play the thought that you might misbehave.
But 'til you do, I'm tellin' you
Stop visiting my grave!

And let me rest in peace!

I knew I should have left right then and there but the sight of her face before me was hypnotic. Instead of anger I found inside myself a deep pity for her. I knew she was trying as hard as she could to make things right. I knew we couldn't be partners deep inside, but I just wished with all my heart that we could be lovers even though I knew the chance of me and Olivia ever being together was very small.

I suddenly felt so drained of energy. Olivia looked me in the eyes for a second I could see tears forming at the corners of her eyes threatening to fall down from her cheeks. I slowly went over to my couch and sat down, "I'm sorry Olivia so sorry. I know you'll never love me but I cant help but wish that things were different. You know I'd do anything for you Liv, anything."

She sighed deeply "I know Elliot." Her chocolate brown eyes looked around the darkened room they seemed to somehow keep the shadows at bay and I don't mean just the shadows caste by my sofa but the shadows in my own treacherous heart.

I know I should go,
But I follow you like a man possessed.
There's a traitor here beneath my breast,
And it hurts me more than you've ever guessed.
If my heart could beat it would break my chest.
But I can see you're unimpressed.

So leave me be,

I looked away, at my window and the dimming light of day as night swallowed the sun whole. I sighed "Why wont you leave then Olivia? If you know that why wont you leave and let me rest in peace? I might as well throw my love away."

Her eyes looked at me for a while staring daggers in my soul. They tore away my last defenses, and opened the door letting them wander freely into my soul because I would do anything for her, for Olivia. What a fool I was. How had things gotten to this? It was weird enough that I'd actually asked her if we could be together let alone tell her I loved her.

I had always fantasized about how we'd end up together, to be honest though I pictured us getting in a big fight then having sex. Well I had the whole big fight thing down but somehow I wasn't hopeful about the sex part.

And let me rest in peace! Let me get some sleep!
Let me take my love and bury it in a hole six foot deep!
I can lay my body down but I can't find my sweet release!
Let me rest in peace!

Why won't you let me rest in peace!

"Why wont you leave Olivia?"

"'Cause I love you, I'm so sorry."

Author's note: Okay well tell me what you think, should I continue with this story or not?