A/N: People have been getting so depressed lately over the beginning of this fic…jeez…
All I can say is, keep reading. Do you really think I'd leave 'em like that?
Chapter 4: Loves of the Past
Inuyasha took a whiff from around him, as that beautiful scent encircled him once more. "Kagome…" he whispered, looking down at the woman in his arms. Her brown eyes were so beautiful, so happy, as a bright smile grew on her face, and she hugged him back, her head leaning against his chest. A smile came upon his features as well, as he pulled her into his embrace, never having felt happier.
"Oh, Inuyasha," Kagome murmured, unable to keep the small chuckle of happiness out of her voice. "We're finally together…finally…"
"Yeah," he replied, his nose nuzzling into her hair. "And we'll never be separated again…I promise."
Just as Kagome had looked up at him, and came closer as if to kiss him, the world turned dark. The springtime that had surrounded him faded, the flowers and budding earth had died. The world had turned to fall, everything beautiful and wonderful was dead.
As Inuyasha looked around surprised at the new scenery, he found Kagome floating out of his arms, away from him with that sad, tragic expression on her face. "Kagome!" he yelled, trying to grab her back, but she was too far out of his reach, floating away towards the sky.
Tears fell from her eyes as she floated farther and farther away, "It wasn't supposed to be this way, Inuyasha."
Inuyasha ran after her, though he had no hope of catching up. "Kagome! Come back!" She was too far away from him.
"Why did this have to happen?" She cried, covering her face with her hands, disappearing into the distance.
Inuyasha called after her, "No, Kagome! Wait! What happened? Kagome!" But she was gone. He started looking around frantically, his amber eyes whipping around his surroundings. "Kagome!"
Suddenly, hisears perked up as heheard a scream from nearby in the forest. The scream was accompanied by another, more gasping cry of fear. "Inuyasha!"
He recognized that voice in an instant. "It's Kagome!" he instantly ran towards her voice, not stopping when the forest suddenly caught fire, blazing around him, the heat of the flames bringing sweat to his forehead. "Kagome!" he called her name, her scent leading him to her.
When he turned a corner he froze for a second, at what he saw. He saw Kagome, looking more frightened then he had ever seen her. She wasn't looking at him, but at the same time, he could see her staring at something, with wide eyes, shaking in terror. It was then Inuyasha turned to see what she was looking at, gasping when he did.
He saw himself, in his youkai form, grinning at the lust for her blood, his crimson eyes lit up in delight. The raging fire encircled them, leaving the three, Inuyasha, Kagome, and his youkai form, in the clearing.
"Kagome!" Hanyou Inuyasha yelled, running towards her, but hitting an invisible barrier before he reached her, falling backwards. He looked sharply up after hitting the ground, to see his youkai formdashing at Kagome, his claws raised. "No!" he yelled, darting forward just as he heard her cry of pain.
Inuyasha was against the invisible barrier, his hands were on it as if he was to push it away, as he stared in horror. His claws, his youkai claws, had ripped through her. His alter-ego stood above her triumphantly, while Kagome remained on the ground, with five deep slashes in her back, blood heavily staining her school uniform. "Kagome..." Inuyasha murmured, without meaning to.
"Kagome!" Inuyasha yelled, beating his fists against the invisible wall, while she lay on the ground, unconcious. "Kagome, please, wake up! Please don't be—!"
But she didn't move. Fear began to fill Inuyasha's heart as he stopped his cries. What if…what if she wasn't unconscious? What if she was…?
Suddenly, his youkai form turned to him, an eerie smirk on his face. His red eyes only seemed to sparkle at the pain he had brought upon her, licking her blood of his index finger, his gaze never leaving Inuyasha's, chilling the hanyou's heart. "No…how can I be doing this! It's not me!" Hanyou Inuyasha yelled, banging once again on the barrier.
His youkai form turned, the insane grin still on his face, the crimson eyes giving Inuyasha one last knowing look, and walked into the distance. Heleft Inuyasha to only watch a still unmoving Kagome, his panic growing every second. "Please!" he begged. "Please, Kagome, wake up! I didn't mean to…!"
It was as if the fire that blazed around them intensified, roaring in his ears, it licked at his heels, but he didn't care. He was only worried about Kagome, and the barrier that separated him from her as the fire crept steadily closer to her. To his surprise, he suddenly saw her move, her hand grasping into a first.
"Kagome!" he gasped, still leaning against the invisible wall. "You're alive!"
Slowly, as if filled with great pain, Kagome stood up shakily, the orange light of the fire reflecting off her face as she kept her eyes closed. It didn't even register that once she had stood up, her clothes had magically transformed into a miko outfit. "Inuyasha…" she whispered, her voice monotone and filled with purpose.
The barrier closing her off from him suddenly dissolved, and Inuyasha ran forward, towards her. "Kagome! You're alright!" He was just about to wrap his arms around her, when she opened her eyes, making him stumble back in shock.
Her eyes, which he had expected to be filled that that warm, happy, loving look, or even that sad, tragic glint he knew so well, had been transformed into something he had never expected. They glared at him in malice, filled with a deep grudge. Angry tears were in her eyes as she glared at him, the hatred never dissolving.
"Kagome?" he asked, his mind racing. "Why are you looking at me like that?" His heart began to fill with fear again. Something wasn't right...
Nearly gasping in pain, Kagome had to steady herself as she put a hand to her back, her blood covering her hand. She took several deep breaths, before regaining her full height, glaring at Inuyasha once again. "Why, Inuyasha?" she asked, glancing back at her blood covered hand.
"Why what, Kagome?" he asked, wondering why his body made no move to go and comfort her.
Her eyes flashed in anger as she yelled, so much like someone else he knew, "Why did you betray me, Inuyasha?" Her bloody hand closed into a fist, the red liquid dripping down her arm.
Inuyasha was only able to stare while the steady crackle of the gaining fire filled his ears. "Kagome…I…"
She ran towards him, grasping his upper arms as she did. "How dare you...you told me you loved me...and I believed you!" Her eyes flashed once again in anger.
"Kagome!" Inuyasha yelled back, panicing. "I don't know what you're talking about! I do love you! Why would I ever stop?"
Suddenly, by his words, her eyes softened from the look of hate back to their sad, tragic state. She grew silent after his words, as if they were sinking into her soul. In a moment of weakness, Kagome leaned her head on his chest, as if she was hugging him. "We were never meant to be together in life, Inuyasha."
"Kagome?" he asked, wondering what he should do. He decided to wrap his arms around her, while the fire closed in a circle around them, pulling her into a hug. "Kagome…" he sighed, holding her.
Before he had any chance to react, Kagome pulled away, the hatred once again in her eyes. "So we shall be together in death!" Instantly a pink light surrounded Inuyasha, and it brought on the pain, the pain he had forgotten. It was like knives, hundreds of knives stabbing him all over, digging deeper as they got closer to his soul. His skin boiled, while he felt fire flow through his veins, the power of her purification sending him screaming as he flew backward, the pain getting worse by the second.
He fell on the ground hard, twtiching in the pain that still lingered within his body. It slowly subsided, leaving him lying there, his breaths shaky and small, torrents of pain coming and going. Inuyasha didn't want to move, because it would only cause more pain. The ground underneat him didn't feel like grass anymore, and he knew where he was, in death. That dark, endless void which he was fated to walk once again.
He wondered where Kagome was, and he dared open his eyes, greeted with the worst sight he could ever see. The woman he loved, was sprawled on the ground, lying face up as he saw a bloody dagger sticking out of her chest, her eyes covered over with tears, and he knew without having to ask that she was dead. "Kagome!" he yelled, stretching out a hand towards her as she faded from his view.
"Inuyasha!" another female voice yelled through the darkness that had covered his vision, and he turned, only to see an arrow fly towards his chest—
Inuyasha gasped as he jerked awake, his hand absent-mindedly searching for the arrow he was sure had pierced his chest. His heart was rapidly beating, as if he had been running, and it took a few seconds for his erratic breathing to slow to its normal pace. That dream…it was…It chilled him to the bones to think about it. He hadn't had a nightmare since…that too, he hated thinking about.
His amber eyes searched Kaede's hut, and judging by the light coming from outside, it would be dawn soon. No one else was awake, and the sounds of sleep filled his ears, tempting him to settle down for a few more minutes. His eyes found Kagome, still asleep with the Kitsune also snuggled next to her in her sleeping back, her face serene as she slept on.
Kagome's face from his dream cropped up in his mind, as it caused him to shudder as he remembered the look in her eyes, that look of pure hatred as she asked him why he had betrayed her. Just like—
Inuyasha stopped himself. No, I can't keep comparing them. No matter what they are, or what happened to them, they're two different people. But no matter what he said, it seemed his subconscious would continue to compare them, while he slept. He couldn't deny that the situations between the both of them were eerily similar, but the reason he had first fallen in love with Kagome was because she was so different from Kikyou, her complete love of life, when compared to a woman who only wanted to see death again.
But now that that recent events had changed Kagome…Inuyasha didn't know anymore. He didn't want her to be like Kikyou, but her recent depression seemed determined to make her like the woman who shared her soul. Inuyasha wished she would just come back to be the person he knew she was when she was happy, smiling all the time and so full of life, able to always make him happy.
Hell, I'd be happy if she sat me at this point, he admitted,looking away from Kagome, his amber eyesteeming with sadness.At least I'd know there'd be some hope that she'd be herself again in the future.
Suddenly, Inuyasha heard the winds pick up outside, bringing with it a scent that he knew all too well. Kikyou…
Turning back to Kagome, the silver haired hanyou made his decision. He quietly stood up, and left the hut, leaving with a heavy heart. He wondered what Kikyou had to say to him this time. Last time he saw her, she had been willing to help him out of that endless void, but had also chastised him for becoming a youkai. He didn't really want to speak to her, because he would only compare her, once again, to Kagome.
Her scent led him deep into the woods, to where she was sitting against the roots of a tree, her shinidama chuu and lost souls floating around her, giving him no doubt in his mind that she had been waiting for him.
When he arrived, Kikyou stood up, nodding her head in acknowledgement. "Inuyasha."
Inuyasha folded his arms inside of his haori, replying, "Kikyou." There was a silence between them, since they didn't have much to talk about any more. He had loved her before, but now that they had both moved on, it was uncomfortable to speak with her. So much like his situation with another woman, he couldn't help but think.
"Kikyou, what are you doing here?" he asked, looking away from her, since he didn't want to look into her tragic eyes, once again reminding him of Kagome.
"I came to check up on you, Inuyasha." Kikyou replied, her voice smooth as butter, but he could tell that within that voice was some deep calculation.
Giving a small huff of annoyance, Inuyasha told her, "Well, I'm fine. I haven't seen Naraku in months, Kikyou." His eyes didn't look back at her…much like what he put Kagome through on several occasions, he recalled.
"That's not what I meant, Inuyasha." She replied more sternly, her eyes sharpening in a glare. "And you know of what I speak."
That got Inuyasha to look back at her, now angry. "Look at me, Kikyou. It's obvious that nothing's happened. I've been a good little boy!"
It didn't escape his notice that Kikyou had gripped her bow tighter. "There's no need to yell, Inuyasha. It was not my fault that you were cursed." Her voice as well had taken a harsh tone, the calm, calculating voice was gone.
Sighing, Inuyasha stopped his temper, but something came across his mind. "Speaking of the curse…" he looked back at her. "Kikyou, do you know if the curse is still there?"
The tragic miko seemed taken aback, slight shock in her eyes. "What do you mean, Inuyasha?" her voice had returned to its usual, calm state.
Looking at her as if it was a matter of life or death, Inuyasha pleaded, "Kikyou, was the curse removed or not?"
Her eyes narrowed, her face once more turning hard. "And why would you want to know this?"
"Look at me, Kikyou!" Inuyasha roared, unable to control himself. "Haven't you seen what Kagome and I have gone through? Didn't you notice how she never smiles anymore? It's killing us both, Kikyou, not knowing about this curse! We need to know, is the curse gone or not?"
The silence after his yelling was responded to by Kikyou's cold voice, saying, "You are a fool, Inuyasha." The anger in her eyes only grew, completely covering that tragic look.
Inuyasha took a step back, when he saw it, grimly reminded of his dream. "Kikyou…" He whispered, only to be cut off by her bellowing voice.
"Do you think that your life with that girl is the most important thing in the world, Inuyasha? Do you think that satisfying your desires is all that matters? If you want so badly to know about this curse, then why don't you give in to what you want! You will then know for sure, but it will be on your conscience if you end up becoming a youkai, once more! Are you willing to take that risk, Inuyasha, to risk killing that girl, all because you cannot control yourself?" Kikyou's booming voice had caused the birds in nearby trees to scatter, and made Inuyasha only stare at her, his eyes wide in shock at her outburst.
"You have a job to do, Inuyasha." Kikyou continued, her voice lowering back to its harsh tone. "I told you that you must defeat Naraku, as soon as possible, without distractions. If your curse was lifted, you would only leave him to becoming stronger, while you spent what precious little time you had with her, until Naraku would kill you both. No matter what you think, Inuyasha, defeating Naraku is more important than any pleasures we have in our lives."
Inuyasha repeated, "Kikyou…" as he watched her calm herself down after her outburst. He had never known her to be so angry, with the exception of the time that she had killed him.
"Inuyasha," Kikyou said, her eyes beginning to soften back to their tragic state. "I said before, your life belongs to me. I will let no one, especially Naraku, kill you. You must trust me if you wish to save yourself, and that girl."
Sighing, Inuyasha looked away with her, knowing he had to agree. "Yes, Kikyou, I shall do what you ask."
"Naraku is starting to make his move." Kikyou informed him. "You will have to go after him soon, but be wary of anything that could be a trap. He is planning to take all the shikon fragments in one sweep." After a slight pause, she added, "Naraku is powerful, Inuyasha. Be careful that he does not learn of your curse. He could use it to his advantage."
Nodding, Inuyasha concluded this must have been what she had been planning to tell him all along. Kikyou turned to leave, and Inuyasha said softly, "Take care of yourself, Kikyou."
She turned back, that tragic glint more noticeable than ever in her dark eyes. "And you, Inuyasha." Kikyou's last words were, "No matter what hardships you face, the fate of the world lies in your hands. Do not let it slip into disaster by one simple mistake." This was both a warning and a threat, as she turned and left him at last, her shinidama chuu following in her wake.
As Inuyasha watched her go, the tragic woman whom he had loved so long ago, and now the woman who followed and criticized his every move, he had only one thing to silently say as she went out of his sight. Farewell, Kikyou…
Kikyou walked away, into the woods, her shinidama chuu floating around her, like comets encircling a planet. She stopped when she passed Goshinboku, and her eyes flew to the spot where Inuyasha had been sealed for fifty years, where she had sealed him because of their deception by Naraku.
She placed a hand over where her heart should have been. In fifty years, Inuyasha, we have changed so much. We no longer care for one another, as we used to…and now you have found someone new to take my place.
Her eyes narrowed. To think it would be my reincarnation that you would choose…a girl who you once insisted was a mere sham of me. I no longer feel for you, Inuyasha…but I always thought it would be me that would remain in your heart…
Kikyou's eyes suddenly became wide at the realization. No! she lowered her hand and turned sharply away from the tree, continuing her journey through the forest. This cannot be…
She felt herself turn angry again, but this time at herself. I am no longer human…yet I still feel human emotions…But…I cannot be feeling jealousy could I?
A/N: I like Kikyou, but she's kind of hard to write for. You never know what she's thinking, since I think she's the one who's pulling the strings with everything in the series.
This chapter had some major foreshadowing in it, and of course, you'll see a lot more of Kikyou in the future. (I hope this story has as many people guessing as the last, because it was fun getting reviews filled with theories.)
Oh! One more thing, I posted a few spoilers on my website, since there have been a few questions, and they might help you with your wild theories.
