...The Maes-Hughes Syndrome...

Roy Mustang was at his desk, sorting through papers and other important documents. It was just another busy day at the HQ in Central. Suddenly, his phone rang, so he put his papers aside and answered.

"Colonel Mustang speaking," he said into the receiver.

"Hey, Mustang, it's me," a voice replied cheerfully from the phone. "Just wanted to give ya call and say hi! Oh, and you'll never guess what my darling little girl did today!"

Oh, not him again! Roy inwardly sighed. He'd been put through this too many times before.

"She drew this amazing picture of a tree in her coloring book--"

"So? A lot of kids draw stuff like that," Roy pointed out, and instanly regretted it once he realized what he had done. (Which was reply.)

"Heeello, didn't you hear me? I said it was amazing! You can almost tell it's a tree at a first glance! And how many four year olds do you know that can color in the lines? My little girl, she's got some talent, let me tell you! She could be a world famous artist one day! Heck, she's got enough talent to be world famous anything! Not that that's a surprize, of course. After all, she has my intelligence and skillfulness--"

"Look, I'm little pre-occupied at the moment," Roy tried to say, but he might as well have been talking to a wall.

"--and she's as beautiful as her mother, and tough like her too. Why, just the other day, she tripped and scraped up her knee, and I thought for sure she would burst into tears, but that girl didn't even bat an eye. Tough as nails, my little girl. And she's such a sweet little angel too. You know what she told me earlier? She told me that I was the best Daddy in the whole wide world, that's what she told me! Isn't she just the cutest?"

"Yes, she's the cutest," said Roy, rolling his eyes. "Now can you please stop going on about your family? I am trying to work here, Fullmetal."

Edward, though, had apparently only heard the first sentence; he merrily continued talking about how cute and wonderful his daughter was. Roy put a hand to his head and grimaced. Why was it always him who answered the phone when Ed called? It wouldn't have been problem if he wasn't suffering from what everyone now called the "Maes-Hughes Syndrome". Edward Elric didn't change much over the years, that is, until he got married and had a kid. Ever since, he has often had sudden bursts of 'I-love-my-family-and-now-I'm-going-to-brag-about-them-for-hours-ism'. And he is never caught without a wallet full of photos that he is more than willing to share with friends, aqquantinces, and random strangers.

"Seriously Edward. If you do not have anything important to tell me, then let me get back to my work."

Ed snorted. "Oh, you're just jealous, aren't ya?" he said. "Because I'm a father and you're not. But hey, don't worry. I'm sure you and the Mrs. Colonel just settled down and got busy--"

"Edward!"

"Hey, I'm just trying to help. Riza would make such a good mom and I'm sure once you experience the joys of fatherhood, you'll stop being such a tightwad. Of course, you'll never be as good a father as me. No offense. But like my little sweetheart said, I'm the best Daddy in the whole wide world. And if my daughter says so, then of course it's true, 'cuz she's just the smartest little girl there is. Did I tell you about how she's already starting to learn how to read? She's catches on pretty fast, you know. She can even spell a few words, can you believe it?'

Roy groaned.

"It's amazing how talented she is! She's a prodigy! Oh, and I got some great pictures of her and her lovely mother together, I can't wait to get them developed! Heck, I'll even send ya some copies, so you can view the magnificent beauty of my two wonderful girls yourself and turn green with envy. Of course, you'll have to send them back eventually, so I can have extras in case I lose mine. Not that I would, because that would just be tragic! Well, maybe not that tragic, since I get see my perfect 'lil girl and gorgeous wife every day, in person, which is just the best thing I could ever ask for. I can't believe how lucky I am..."

Quietly and slowly, Roy lowered the phone, gently hung up, and went back to his paperwork.

The silence was extremely refreshing.

Back in Resembool...

"That jerk!" Ed grumbled, finally realizing that he was talking to a dial tone. "Hanging up on me like that! Or maybe," he said, his face changing from angry to thoughtful, "Maybe the connection was broken." This seemed to make sense, because why would anyone want to hang up on him when he was telling them about his wonderful family?

"Well, in that case, I better call him back..."

-FIN!-


A/N: This came to me when I was writing Got Milk? and I just couldn't help myself. I guess you could say it's a "companion" one-shot. It's the same time setting, sereval years in the future. Unfortunately, poor Roy is still a colonel because I don't how military ranks work and I didn't want to accidently demote him. Heh.