A/N: I might be a bit later in updates this month. Because I only have one month before SAT's, ACT's and AP Tests. (I LOATHE May now.) I'll try to be on time, but if I am, it might be one of those 11:30 PM updates.

Several have asked why I have to keep myself to a rigid schedule of updates, and the answer is simple: I like it. Plus, before I had a rigid schedule, I wouldn't update for weeks, and it bugged me. I learned writing my book that you need to have a schedule for writing, or you'll never get it done. So, I put myself in a schedule so I could update faster, and it stuck.

Chapter 17: Hesitation

Sango, Miroku, and Kohaku had finally set out on their journey back towards the village. They hoped that by now, Inuyasha and Kagome had gotten the message, so they wouldn't be worried at their friends' late arrival.

They had just started traveling that morning, after Sango had told Kohaku he had made a complete recovery. With one last respectful visit to the villager's graves, they were off, making a good pace through the wilderness.

They traveled for half a day, until they finally had to rest. "Ane-ue," Kohaku asked, his eyes tired, "Can we please take a rest?"

Sango replied, with a smile, "Sure. I think there's a stream nearby. Why don't you go get some water?"

Nodding, a small grin on his face as well, Kohaku set off from them, leaving the youkai exterminator and the monk behind.

As Sango watched him go, the smile never leaving her face, Miroku came beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Sometimes, it even feels like old times, before all this mess." she remarked, memories rising in her mind.

"Yes." the monk answered. "Once he begins to smile, he seems like a normal boy. You wouldn't be able to guess…" he trailed off, seeing the smile on Sango's face fade.

"What's going to happen to him, when Naraku finds out that he has his memories back?" she wondered. "Will he come after him, or will he—"

"Sango!" Miroku said sharply, taking her hand and turning her towards him while she looked to him for comfort. "We can only hope we'll defeat Naraku before then." Sango sighed, and though she usually tried to control her emotions, she leaned her head against his shoulder, allowing him to embrace her.

With another smile, and a twinkle in his deep indigo eyes, the monk said, "You know, my dear Sango, I've been thinking…maybe after Naraku's defeated, Kohaku can come live with us."

With a gasp, she tore away from him, disbelief in her deep brown eyes. "Houshi-sama…do you mean that?"

He framed her face with his hands, replying sweetly, "I do, Sango. Once we're on our own, and have our own little hut, I'd like him to stay with us. He needs a home, and we can give it to him."

With a squeak of absolute joy so un like her, Sango jumped into Miroku's arms, as he enveloped her in a hug. "Oh, Houshi-sama…Thank You." she said, looking to nearly be on the verge of tears in happiness. "This means the world to me, and I know it'll mean as much to him."

Hugging her back, her fiancé replied, "I was planning on it anyway, but I never got the chance to tell you. I guess I was saving it as a wedding present, Sango my love." Sango was about to remark…when the moment was ruined once again by a wandering hand.

A second after the offense was done, a smack resounded throughout the forest. "Pervert!" Sango yelled, backing out of his embrace as the monk fell backward in the force of her blow. "Do you always have to do that?"

His traditional lecherous smirk in place, Miroku replied, "Beautiful Sango, forgive me, but I have gone a week without caressing your lovely figure. I'm feeling quite depraved."

The youkai exterminator folded her arms and grumbled, "At least you have the decency not to do it in front of my brother."

Miroku got back on his feet, rubbing the pink handprint on his cheek. "Of course, he just barely approves of me being engaged to you. What kind of husband would he think I'd make if I lost control of myself in front of him?"

"I'm beginning to wonder that question." Muttered Sango, rolling her eyes. Changing the subject, she asked, "But Houshi-sama, about what you said before…if Kohaku could come live with us, when would he move in?"

"Immediately, I suppose." Miroku replied thoughtfully. "Except…perhaps it would be wise if he stayed with Kaede on our wedding night. Because that night, my wonderful Sango, you are all mine."

Another smack was heard. "Lecher!" she yelled, going for the Hiraikotsu for a more thorough beating, before she was stopped by an unsure voice.

"You…really want me to live you, Ane-ue?" Kohaku asked, with a look of disbelief on his face.

Forgetting her anger in an instant with the look on his face, Sango smiled, "Yes, Kohaku. Houshi-sama agreed. We call all live in a hut, the three of us, together."

Doubt entered the boy's eyes. "I…I don't want to be a burden, Ane-ue."

Sango shook her head, coming closer to her younger brother. "You're not a burden, Kohaku. You're my brother, my one and only little brother. And, I promised that I would take care of you, didn't I?"

With that, Kohaku gave her the happiest smile she had ever seen.


"How much farther?" Shippou asked, as Inuyasha, Kagome, himself, and Kirara trudged across the fields.

"Well, if Miroku and that woman of his travel on the same road, we'll find them anywhere from tomorrow to a few days." Inuyasha replied, as if annoyed with the question.

The kitsune whined, "I'm just so tired of traveling! I want to just be able to settle down and not have to travel again!"

"We'd all like that, Shippou-chan." Kagome replied, looking down, only half-responding to his question. She was preoccupied after what had happened between her and Inuyasha the day before.

After Kagome had admitted that she was trying not to fall in love with him again, he held her in his arms once more, telling her it was hard for him too. But before he could go any further, she pulled out of his arms, wiping her tears, telling him she was all right.

But that wasn't true. She still wasn't all right. And truthfully, she didn't know if she'd ever be "all right" again. Kagome knew she wouldn't be up to standard until she was able to have the one thing she couldn't—Inuyasha.

It seemed like fate was determined to be cruel and keep them apart. At first, it was because of Naraku and Inuyasha's own guilt because of Kikyou. Then, it was because he had turned into a youkai because of the curse, fate had tried to eliminate him to keep them apart, and now, they both had to say no, and not risk the horror happening again.

However, sometimes…when she was deep in thought about the issue, Kagome wondered if the curse was still there. She remembered getting dreams for weeks, having bad feelings, and sometimes even frightening visions just before it happened. Kagome could even recall warning bells clanging in her head just before she told him "yes" but…none of that was happening now.

She had horrific dreams, yes, but these were different. Somehow, she could tell that they were not visions or predictions of the future, but just brought forth by the anxieties and fears in her mind. And the only feeling she had within her gut now was the everlasting longing she had for him.

Kagome dared to think, What…what if the curse really is gone? Does that mean…that Inuyasha and I can…can…

Shippou broke into her thoughts by yelling, "Hey! Why are you two so quiet?"

Blinking at his outburst, she asked, "What do you mean, Shippou-chan?"

"Why aren't you and Inuyasha yelling at each other like you usually do?" he snapped, his normally cute green eyes narrowed in frustration while he clenched his fists. "I can't take the silence!"

For a second, Inuyasha and Kagome glanced at each other, but turned away quickly, their eyes locked in inner pain. They couldn't look at one another; not when they were trying desperately not to be in love, but couldn't help it.

"We…uh…we don't have anything to fight about." Kagome said quickly. "There's no reason for us to fight."

The kitsune didn't stop once he got going, "But why won't you even look at each other! You're just so wrapped up in being depressed, that you don't think that this is hard on us as well! Sango and Miroku…they even liked being away from you two, because at least it was a happy atmosphere!"

"Shut up, runt!" Inuyasha yelled, thumping Shippou more than once. "If I wanted your opinion, I would have asked for it!"

The kitsune wailed, "Inuyasha, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, okay! I didn't mean…!"

While the hanyou continued to whack him upside the head, Kagome made no move to stop him, mainly because she was los tin what Shippou had said.

Is that why Sango-chan and Miroku-sama really wanted to get away from us that time? Because I was still depressed? Am I really that hard to be around like this?

She sucked in a breath at the realization, Inuyasha knows…he keeps telling me to cheer up, because its not just hurting me, but also everyone around me…

Clenching her eyes shut, she cried in her mind, But they don't know how much it hurts! And how much more when I have to put on a fake happy face and make everything seem like I'm all right!

And…no one really knows how much I wish I could be happy, and not like this…I don't want to be sad, but as long as the curse is here…I can't help it.

Picturing her loving silver haired hanyou, Kagome thought, I want to be with him, so much that it hurts! But…until I know about the curse…I can't…

But for the first time, she wondered, Am I sure I can't? I mean, I can't mate with him, but…could I be with him? Even a little bit because…everytime I turn away, it feels like my heart is being crushed!

She shook her head. No, I couldn't. And it's not because I'm afraid of him loosing control, I'm more afraid…of myself…

Sighing and opening her eyes, tired from her thoughts, Kagome looked over towards her lover, still gleefully pounding Shippou. Deciding to think on this for another time, she pushed the thought aside, to literally pound some discipline into the one she loved.


A/N: XD I LOVE writing Miroku. Why did I cut him out for such a long time? I just love the use of pet names he uses for Sango.

And I'm thinking Inu/Kag is becoming…redundant. However, let me say one thing, some stuff they keep saying over and over is REALLY important, so keep those theories coming!