A/N: I hate daylight savings time. Because that means I have to wake up an HOUR EARLIER to get to school. And I can barely wake up on time as it is.

I can't wait for when we go back on regular time…I envy Arizonans…

So, after a pretty stagnant plot because I needed to get the correct plot timing, the plot will start moving forward pretty fast soon, so I hope you will enjoy the coming twists!

Chapter 18: All That I Want…

Inuyasha sniffed as they headed through the forest. No doubt about it, they would soon meet up with Sango, Miroku, and Kohaku. The hanyou glanced back at Kagome, who was walking behind him, staring at the ground, apparently lost in thought. He rolled his eyes, they'd never meet up with them at this pace.

Sighing, Inuyasha crouched down in front of her, making her stop in surprise. "Come on, Kagome," he said in an annoyed tone. "We need to move faster."

With his offer, it seemed to only increase the tension in the air. "Are you sure?" asked Kagome timidly. "B-because, I don't want to be a burden—"

"Just shut up and get on!" he snapped, making Kagome flinch in surprise. However, she did what she was told, knowing why Inuyasha was so angry.

The rest of the journey was in silence, with Kagome on his back, and Shippou on transformed Kirara's back as they scampered through the forest.

But unlike most recent times when they journeyed together, Kagome didn't feel numb and afraid…Ever since she had admitted to Inuyasha that she was trying to keep herself from falling in love with him again., it seemed to only make the process speed up.

She felt, uncomfortable on his back, not because she was afraid of touching him, but because wherever they touched, she felt a tingling sensation…and the familiar leap within her chest. At first, she ignored it, hoping it would go away if she focused her mind on something else, but as the journey continued, it seemed to only get worse.

No! she shouted within her mind. This isn't right…I'm not supposed to be feeling this way!

But Kagome was, her heart still leapt, and there was nothing she could do about it. It felt as if this had been the way things were all along, and she had never noticed until she had brought attention to it.

Sensing something was wrong, Inuyasha asked, breaking from his snappish tone of before, "Kagome, are you all right?"

Her heart stopped as he asked her, knowing what she was thinking about. "Y-yeah." Replied Kagome after a moment's hesitation.

Whether Inuyasha believed her or not, he said nothing more, only grunting in recognition as they continued on. By the way he looked, Kagome could tell there was a lot on his mind as well.

Putting a hand over her heart that was finally starting to calm down, Kagome wondered why now, of all times, she was beginning to feel this way. I was like this before, she remembered the time under the full moon, and the time before that, where she had lost all her sorrow so quickly.

Does being alone with Inuyasha…make me feel this way? She wondered. Before, it took a while before I was like this…now it was only a matter of days. Clenching her eyes shut, she asked herself, Why can't I just stop myself, and not feel for him this way anymore?

Why can't I just forget?


That night they finally met up with Sango and Miroku in a secluded clearing, and it was a welcome sight at seeing one another again after being separated for so long. Kagome leapt of Inuyasha's back when she saw Sango. "Sango-chan!" she yelled, running up to her friend.

"Kagome-chan!" Sango greeted her. "It seems like its been forever!"

After being separated from each other for a while, it was obvious to see the change in both of them. Sango seemed a lot more at ease with Miroku, in fact, it was plain to Kagome that when they looked at each other, both of their eyes reflected deep love. And Sango noticed that Kagome also seemed more at ease with Inuyasha, but she was holding herself back.

Everyone had hoped that Kagome and Inuyasha's interlude would have helped her become like she used to be, and it was obvious that it had, but she couldn't let go of her painful memories to let herself live like she did before. It nearly killed Sango having to see Kagome force herself not to love Inuyasha.

Kagome noticed the look in Sango's eyes. "What's the matter?" she asked. "Is something wrong?"

Shaking her had, the youkai exterminator replaced the look of pity in her dark eyes with a smile. "Nothing, I just missed having another woman to talk with all this time, that's all."

Miroku overheard that particular part of the conversation. "So, you didn't like talking with me, Sango?" he grinned, "I thought our discussions went pretty well, what about you?"

"The problem is I can't have a talk with you without you aiming to grope me any instant!" She snapped while the monk was barely able to contain his lecherous grin.

While Sango yelled at Miroku, Kagome couldn't help but give a half-smile. Sango was happy with Miroku, and she knew that no matter how much they fought, they would always love one another.

Thinking of this, she couldn't help but cast a subtle glance over at Inuyasha, who was currently arguing about starting a fire with Shippou. The argument was over if Shippou could just light it with his Kitsunebi, rather than having to go to all the trouble of lighting it manually, but of course, the kitsune refused, angering the rather impatient hanyou.

Kagome found herself drifting away from the youkai exterminator and the monk, to find herself coming closer to the fighting hanyou and kitsune. Her instincts had told her it was once again time to break up a fight.

"Inuyasha," she rolled her eyes. "If Shippou doesn't want to do it, then he doesn't have to do it, leave him alone."

Growling in annoyance, Inuyasha looked back up at her with those piercing amber eyes. "Whatever. But we'll need some more wood."

Kagome raised an eyebrow. "And I take it you want me to get the wood?"

"You suggested it, woman." He muttered, his standoffish tone making her want to scream.

Replying with equal coldness, Kagome snapped, "Fine!" and trudged off into the woods, to gather some wood before Inuyasha yelled something else at her.

Hot, angry tears welled in her eyes. Why's he acting so mean to me today? She wondered, biting back tears as she picked up a timber. He wasn't like this yesterday…I don't understand what's gotten into him…

Kagome remembered how he was weeks before, never really yelling at her, in hopes that she would cheer up. But now…perhaps it was different because of what she had said. Is he upset because I told him I'm trying to fight it? But…its for our own good, doesn't he see that?

And for the good of everyone else, so I'm not just thinking about us here…But he knows that I wouldn't be this way if it wasn't for the curse, doesn't he?

Her body tensed while she carried the pile of sticks she had gathered back towards the campsite. That baka! She screamed in her mind. He's trying to blame this all on me, is that it? Is he mad at me because we know we can't—

Her thoughts were cut off abruptly as she caught her foot over a rather large root on the forest floor. Yelping in surprise as she fell forward, the sticks went flying as she landed hard on the floor of dead leaves, her ankle giving a sickening and painful lurch.

Internally spitting words that she had learned from a certain inu hanyou that she would have never used in her speech, she tried to lift herself up with her arms. But all that happened was a sharp flash of pain came from her ankle causing her to fall back down, letting out another gasp of pain, feeling her blue skirt fly up to expose her panties.

And it was that exact moment that Inuyasha chose to burst through the trees, calling, "Kagome!" when he saw her, but a second later, sporting a red blush.

For a second, Kagome didn't understand, and then feeling a draft around her legs, noticed the current situation her blue skirt was in. She gave a squeal of embarrassment while trying to smooth it down, yelling, "Pervert!"

"Yeah, whatever." The hanyou muttered, cheeks still pink, as he bent down to see her current situation. "You twisted your ankle." He announced, like a doctor after looking over a patient.

"Well, thanks. That makes me feel so much better, knowing what it is!" Kagome spat, the pain and her anger at him still fiery within her belly.

"Look, woman, I don't need any of your attitude now." He shot back at her, gently removing her foot from its spot in the root, causing her to inhale sharply in the pain.

Gritting her teeth against it, Kagome managed to retort, "My attitude? Who's had a problem with me all day? Who's been treating me like dirt all this time?"

It was amazing how Inuyasha was able to pick Kagome up and sit her on a rock to tend to her needs, while they both shouted at each other so loud that birds fled their nests in the trees above, but somehow, they did it. "Kagome, I'm not treating you like dirt, I'm just—"

"What?" she yelled, as he inspected her swollen ankle. "Just what are you doing?"

"I'm just frustrated, okay!" he shouted louder than he had before, anger glaring from his face, the intensity making Kagome hesitate. Sighing, the hanyou continued softer, "I'm not very good when I'm put in a rough spot." He admitted, "And with everything that's been going on…and what the runt said I just…I'm not handling it very well."

While he was explaining, Kagome couldn't help but notice that his hands were smooth and gentle. "But you don't have to take it out on me." She told him matter-of-factly, though still some of her hurt showed in her eyes.

Amber to chocolate eyes met as he looked at her. "I don't but…when I'm angry, you know I say things I don't mean." After another pause, Inuyasha gave a rare, "I'm sorry."

Whether it was the sweetness of his apology, or the way she always got lost in his eyes, Kagome felt her heart begin to rise again. Her developed reflex made her pull out of it before she was in too deep. "How's my ankle?" she asked, looking at the swollen appendage.

Inuyasha knew what she was doing, after having endured months of it, and he obliged, not pressing the subject. "Well, you're going to be sore for a couple of days, I think. Do you have any bandage?"

Nodding, Kagome replied, still keeping away from those dangerous eyes, despite how much he looked at her. "Yeah, in my first aid kit."

The hanyou stood up, saying, "I'll got and get it, you wait here."

"But, Inuyasha—"

He reassured her, "I'll only be a minute." And he sped off towards the camp, leaving Kagome behind.

Once she was sure he was out of eyesight, she put a hand to her heart, which was for the second time that day threatening to race. It's happening again…But I can usually stop it, why not now? Why am I feeling this way now? Looking up at the darkening sky, a breeze fluttered through the woods, her dark hair swaying along with it as well.

True to his word, Inuyasha returned swiftly, the medical box in hand. Opening it, he found the bandage, and after gently propping up her foot on another rock, he began wrapping it. "How does it feel?" he asked, "Too tight?"

She shook her head. "No, its fine. Where did you learn first aid? I didn't know you knew this stuff."

Inuyasha shrugged as he tied the bandage around her. "I only know a little, not most of the stuff you do with your sprays and nonsense. I was on my own for about a century and a half, I had to learn some of this stuff, especially if something unpleasant came up around the new moon."

"Oh…" Once again, Kagome was reminded of how lonely he had been, before he met Kikyou. And it also brought up memories of the curse…since it was a century ago he attained it.

After setting her newly wrapped ankle down, he looked at her face, and eyes full of pity, and said, "You had better not start crying, woman."

"I'm not!" she shouted back, loud enough that his dog ears twitched. "It's just…everything's so confusing now. I…I don't really know what to think anymore…"

Her vague description was enough for him to guess what she was thinking about. "Kagome…" he murmured, placing a hand over hers for comfort.

Heart beginning to rise, Kagome suddenly didn't care about keeping a distance between herself and Inuyasha, and rebelled, looking into those sparkling eyes. What she saw was a man so much in love, and in such pain because of it. She knew the pain she had been putting her lover through all this time, but now with everything else, she felt it as well.

Her mind raced as she thought of all sorts of things, the fact that she knew that she was trying desperately, yet failing all the same in keeping herself out of love with him, how Shippou had told them it was painful for everyone else with what they were going through, how there was a possibility that the curse wasn't there, and they were putting themselves through the torture, when they could stop it.

Kagome had gone through so much pain with the curse, and after what Inuyasha had done to her, she ended up having to kill him. That should have ruined any love that would have lied between them, like what had happened to Inuyasha and Kikyou, yet Inuyasha still loved her like he had done before, and had never stopped, no matter how much she told him it was impossible. Shouldn't she be grateful for that, instead of trying to push it away.

Here was a man, this wonderful boy, who loved her with every fiber of his being, not holding back. Why, then, was she putting him through this pain? It was cruel to harm him like this, to keep discouraging him from loving her, even though she knew he would never stop.

And then there was herself, telling herself to get over love and move on, for the better of everyone else. But wasn't she tired of being selfless? Couldn't she think selfishly once in a while? Was wanting her own happiness a crime? Why was she putting herself through this at all, when she could stop it?

Kagome finally saw the whole of it all, and asked herself, What am I doing to myself, Inuyasha and everyone else? Is trying to keep us safe killing us instead?

Speaking up, Kagome said, "Inuyasha I…I…" she couldn't think of what she wanted to say. To apologize for what she had put him through? No, it wouldn't work like that. "I think we should go back to the camp now. The way you left to come help me has probably confused them all."

With a sigh, he agreed. "You're right." He pulled her on to his back, saying. "With that ankle of yours, clumsy, you shouldn't walk for a few days."

She playfully smacked his back. "Clumsy?"

"Yeah." He answered, taking off. "Clumsy, stupid, whiny, annoying, have I left anything out?"

Kagome smacked him again, feeling the urge to laugh bubble in her chest, but not letting it loose. She couldn't be happy now, not after what she had realized just before while they looked at each other, knowing it had probably decided both of their fates.

Inuyasha…I just realized, that no matter how much I try to stop myself…all that I want is you.


A/N: Longer then the last couple of chapters, hope you like it. Anyway, to make up for the lateness of this one, I'll say something you might like. Fluff is coming soon. Not macho fluff, but a little fluff for you, BEFORE the last chapter, of course.