"The Problem with Fan Girls…"
Comic: http // img . photobucket . com / albums / v475 / k155me / FanGirlsAvihenda . jpg remove the spaces first
Disclaimer: J.K's all of them, damn her… But I own myself and Avihenda… I do own her you know! Don't let her tell you she's a 'free-person', because she isn't… she's mine! Yea, mine! Although… I do own Comic!Draco and Comic!Lucius… some technicality or other Avihenda was talking about but I didn't understand. They'll do (for now)!
Summery: AU of the "fleeing-the-DE's-Scene" during HP: GoF. H/D slash. The boys have a moment that gets unexpectedly interrupted. Written for Avihenda, in thanks for my awesome "The Problem with Fan Girls…" comic! Semi-Crack!Fic, cause I'm not good at funny. Harry POV
Rating: R/NC-17 SLASH!
A/N: Some spoilers for Goblet of Fire, mostly movie though. A BIT OF A LAUGH!
Total Word Count: /B 5,558 words.
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Words : 554
Chapter 1
Irish Pride
It started off as such a good day; sure the portkey sucked, and I made a prat of myself in front of Cedric, and Lucius Malfoy practically molested me with that pimp cane of his, but it did start as a good day. After all, here I am at the Quiditch World Cup, with my friends and surrogate family, and Ireland won.
Fred and George won Galleons from a bet they made with Ludo Bagman, Krum caught the snitch for Bulgaria, but Ireland won by points. Malfoy seemed disappointed, I guess he supported Bulgaria. Probably because Krum is hot; after all, Malfoy can't possibly be straight! Not with a body like his… It would be a shame to have it wasted on girls-
Wait! Back up! Did I think that? No, course not! It's just the excitement of the match getting to me. What I really thought was, that Malfoy Jr. couldn't possibly be straight because he is such a prissy nancy boy. I mean, he has manicured nails, for Circe sake! And that hair! I heard from Blaise Zabini, yes a Slytherin, but since he's not one of Nancy Malfoy's posse that makes him alright in my book.
As I was saying, I heard from Zabini that Malfoy actually wakes up at 5.30am every morning just to do his hair! Honestly, if that isn't gay then I'm a flaming queen. Oh ok, bad analogy. Let's put it this way, if Malfoy isn't gay I'll bend over and let him fuck me in the arse!
"What did you say mate?" I looked over at Ron, who is looking a little pale.
"Nothing, why?" Ron's mouth dropped open and he slowly shook his head. Weird, that; if I didn't know better I swear I had spoken out loud.
As I was saying, it's not like I'd have to stick to it. If Malfoy isn't gay, then he's straight and would have no need to want his cock up my or another male's arse. And if he is gay, then I don't have to bend over anyway. Although… I wouldn't mind doing a little bending for Cedric… With those gray eyes and blond hair and…
Wait! Back up! Was I describing Cedric or Malfoy? Bugger, bloody nancy's all look alike! Oh Merlin, I sounded like Vernon! Kill me, Beat me, and rip the unholy tongue from my head! Remove thy foul thoughts from my mind. Eugh!
Oh, we're leaving. I would love to see the look on Malfoy's face if I told him I thought he was gay and I'd let him fuck me if he wasn't. It would have made my week.
"Mate, are you sure you didn't say anything?" Ron looked a little green this time.
"Yeah, hey Ron, you know when people hear things it's a sign of insanity." Ron nodded and walked after Hermione glancing back once or twice as I stood to follow. Too bad I didn't look behind me, or I would have seen the shocked look on both the Minister and Narcissa Malfoy, the normal blasé mask on Lucius Malfoy's face, and the arrogant smirk that just screamed mischief on Draco-istotallygay-Malfoy's.
As I said before, it started off as a good day, and then the Irish got their Pride on. Actually it wasn't really the Irish… more the Pureblood.
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A/N: No offence intended towards Homosexuals, Bisexuals, or in fact Heterosexuals. I myself am Heterosexual and would die to shag Draco Malfoy or Tom Felton (unfortunately Draco Malfoy isn't real) and I have no chance with Tom! But no offence intended!
