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Chapter 18: Growing feelings

-Shizuo´s point of view. The next day, morning. At school.-

"So, why did Izaya skip school?" The blond paused upon hearing the words when a very familiar bespectacled friend approached him from behind. He had just been about to close his locker and head for the first class. Scoffing he glanced at the brunette.

This was all his doing-

...

Then again was he even really mad about it?

"He was sick actually, had a fever and all," he informed his friend, who blinked obviously surprised by the news.

"Wait, he was sick?" Shinra repeated, seeming like he actually did care about the flea´s wellbeing. Somehow Shizuo couldn´t really believe that kind of thing, at least considering how nonchalant he had been last time.

In general he always sort of had the impression that Shinra wasn´t all that concerned about his friend. They were always acting rather weird with each other, not like what Shizuo would expect friends to act like.

"Woah you sound awfully concerned considering you didn´t want to visit the good for nothing." Honestly speaking, now that he thought about it, it almost made him mad- Izaya had been feeling really bad after all, and Shinra, Izaya´s only friend didn't even visit him.

The doctor pouted, as he adjusted his glasses.

"Well I didn´t think he would be sick. I thought he was just being lazy as usual. It wouldn´t be the first time he just skipped classes because he didn´t feel like coming to school."

... Shinra was probably right with that.

Why was this whole thing bugging him so much anyway? Felt as if he had just swallowed down his heart.

The blond sighed, getting irritated at his own thoughts. "So?" Shinra asked, "How is he? Did he catch a cold?"

"Looked more like the flu to me- all I know is that his fever was pretty high." It really was. He hadn´t been able to actually check it but from what he had felt he definitely had a high temperature.

He has had a fever like that often enough to know that kind of thing.

Talking about it made him think about how miserable the flea had looked. All alone in that room until he came, it seemed way too lonely. When Kasuka or him got sick in the past there would always be someone staying behind to take care of them. Then maybe in Izaya´s family that just wasn´t possible. They did seem like they were busy working all day.

The future doctor beside him hummed, leaning against the shoe locker while Shizuo closed his space and put on his indoor shoes.

... Izaya... had even cried, hadn´t he? He didn´t know if maybe he was just misinterpreting things,- maybe he really just got something in his eye- but somehow he had a feeling it was not.

Was it because of the fever? Did he get emotional or something?

...

Why would he be crying in the first place though?

And why did Shizuo want to, to... he didn´t know. At that point he just wanted to reach out to the flea. Not in a sense of hugging the flea or something, gosh that would be awkward.

But he wanted to be reachable. He wanted Izaya to look at him, he wanted to know about what he was thinking. He found himself wanting to know more about the flea.

"Earth to Shizuo." Blinking the blond snapped out of his thoughts, finding a hand waving up and down in front of his face. A bit confused he looked at his brunette friend that kept grinning at him.

"Is something wrong?" Shinra question, looking as though he already knew about everything that was going on in Shizuo´s head- then again that couldn't be, Shinra didn´t know anything-

"Why?" he mumbled instead, throwing his bag over his shoulders as he headed for the hallway. It was already late, in five minutes the classes would start.

"You spaced out- you tend to do that when you have something to think about."

Space out, huh?

He couldn´t deny that.

Neither could he deny he was thinking about something really hard.

Tch- who was he even kidding? He knew what he was thinking about. It had come to him slowly, creeping its way a long so quiet he didn´t even notice.

He didn´t even know what sparked it. Was it because of yesterday? Because of how different the flea acted? Was it because Shinra told him what a great brother and friend he actually was?

Maybe because of what happened at the party?

Or even before that- when he helped him to get onto that bus ride even though he was sick?

He didn´t know it. He couldn´t pinpoint it or anything. It just came to him all of a sudden yesterday- when he was looking after Izaya.

This sudden urge to get to know the flea, to want Izaya to get to know him too. To show him he wasn´t as much of a monster as he had always shown him.

Then again ... Izaya probably knew that anyway. He wasn´t stupid. Maybe he even already knew what was going on with Shizuo- he didn´t know.

And yet...

"I mean if you don´t want to let me in on the secret you are hiding, then okay, it´s not like I´m gonna be offended or anything~" Shinra announced, chirping, setting up his best grin as he swirled around, walking backwards now as to be able to look into Shizuo´s face as they walked on to their classroom.

It was then that the blond suddenly stopped and looked straight at him. Shinra stopped as well, blinking just the slightest as Shizuo´s expression had sort of changed. Only slowly, but surely his lips moved as he spoke.

"... I think I like the flea."

...

Shinra blinked, one, twice-

...

A sudden clap made by Shinra startled the blond greatly while the brunette smiled as if he had just treated him to a laboratory excursion to some frog dissection.

"Well finally! I knew you two would get along! See, I always told you, you two could be friends!"

... friends?

Softly but surely Shizuo's palm found its way against his forehead, a deep sigh escaping his lips. That idiot.

"Not as a friend Shinra." He repeated, taking the hand down as he looked at his friend again.

That wasn´t it.

Seemingly a bit confused by the statement Shinra´s grin dropped and he tilted his head questioningly. Shizuo swore he could almost see the steam rise from the guy´s head as he tried to figure out what Shizuo meant exactly.

...

"As an enemy?" he asked, Shizuo shook his head. He couldn´t blame him for not getting it right away, after all, no matter how he thought about it, it was strange to feel that way about the flea in the first place.

"Rival?" Again he shook his head. A sudden sense of realization spread across the future doctor´s expression.

...

"You are kidding-"

Ah- now he got it. It really had to sound like a joke to him, just one week ago he was having a conversation with him about how he should deal with the flea best. That he should ignore him since he hated that, and that he couldn´t do that since Izaya annoyed him too much, and now?

No wonder Shinra had such a hard time believing it.

"Since when were you gay?" The question surprised Shizuo to the extent he almost choked on his own spit-

"Wha-!? No, I don´t like guys!"

Blinking again Shinra sighed while adjusting his glasses. He had always known Shizuo wasn´t the fastest one to catch up to things and saying he thought he liked the flea already told him enough anyway, but this, really?

"… hold on a second. You just said you like Izaya. As far as I know he is a guy." He started slowly, feeling as though he was lecturing a child that said it liked strawberries but told him it hated fruits.

"That doesn´t mean I´m gay, it´s just Izaya." Shizuo repeated, and Shinra felt as though he really didn´t get it.

"… just to make this clear, you do want to kiss and do perverted stuff with him?" The expression he got from the blond was the best he had ever seen in his life- for a moment he felt he understood finally what Izaya meant when he said he just enjoyed seeing Shizuo´s reactions-

That red color that suddenly tainted Shizuo´s cheeks spoke more than a thousand words.

"What the fuck Shinra?!" Instead of replying to that the brunette just nodded with a huge grin on his face.

"I will take that as a yes."

Struggling with the words the blond almost bit his tongue-

"What? No, I mean yes, but no that´s-" god damnit- slapping a hand over his face he groaned, knowing full well that Shinra was right anyway.

"So, rationally speaking~" the future doctor continued making the blond feel as though he was going to die from embarrassment already- why the hell did he even decide to go ahead and tell that stupid quack?

"Okay, okay, then maybe I´m gay for the flea, I got it already." He swore, one day, one day he was going to kill his friend.

Shinra seemed pretty satisfied with the answer he got, however, and just nodded triumphantly.

"Said so. And there I thought you were just embarrassed when I asked if you liked what happened- oh my god-" A groan interrupted him.

"Please Shinra-" The boy chuckled.

Ah okay, okay, maybe he was going too far now.

It was really surprising though. Sure, he had always thought they would get along well if they just tried to, but this-

Well then again he felt like he should have considered that option too.

"So, what are you going to do about it?"

Caught by surprise the blond frowned.

"About what?"

"Your feelings. Are you gonna tell Izaya?"

Tell-

"No." The answer came so fast Shinra was actually taken aback, it wasn´t even a no that sounded like he wasn´t confident enough to do it, more like he had just already decided on it.

"What, why not?" he asked, not really getting why Shizuo wasn´t making a move when he knew what he was feeling for the raven.

To Shizuo it was a fairly easy question though.

"Shinra I seriously doubt he feels the same for me. I would just dig my own grave." It´s not like just because he realized he had the hots for him that he would confess right away or something cliché like that. What did he expect to happen?

The flea liking him back? Yeah right as if.

Shinra didn´t seem to be particularly satisfied with that sort of answer and just pouted.

"… but how would you really know? I never thought I would catch you two getting it on either." Couldn´t he just forget that he saw that kind of thing?! Seriously-!

"Shinra please-"

"Ah! Izaya did kiss you first though, didn´t you say that?" the bespectacled threw in before the blond could even finish his sentence, making him sigh a bit annoyed. He knew Shinra was just trying to help, but his annoying whining was seriously counterproductive.

"He was drunk of his ass Shinra. That didn´t mean anything." Why was he so keen on him telling Izaya anything in the first place? It wasn´t as if anything good would come of it.

And besides, he was totally fine just continuing their relationship the way it was right now. The past two weeks were the best they had ever gotten along.

"I warn you Shinra, don´t you dare say a single word or I swear I will punch you where it hurts-" gulping the future doctor glanced at his friend.

"You would castrate me-"

"Then you better watch your mouth."

It was at that moment that the sound of the school´s bell interrupted the two. The brunette groaned, hurrying along the hallway. "Because of you we will be late again Shizuo!"

Noticing that his friend wasn´t following him, Shinra turned around, only to see him stand there and look back to the lockers.

Ah-

"Izaya?" The raven had suddenly appeared in the hallway, obviously not having heard anything of their conversation though as he seemed to be surprised to see the two in the first place.

"Morning," he mumbled as he approached the two, finding himself not being able to describe how weird it was for them to talk civilized like this after just one week.

Shizu-chan didn´t seem to be thinking about that sort of thing at all though.

"Aren't you still sick?" The raven felt a chuckle escape his lips- honestly- Shizu-chan sounded close to worried about him. It was weird, yet not dislikeable.

"Well the fever went down really fast so-" he shrugged. That was a bit of a lie- his temperature had went down considerably, yes, but that didn´t mean he wasn´t still sick. He had measured 37,4°C in the morning, of course he didn´t say anything though.

It wasn´t like he particularly wanted to skip school and have his dad stay at home with him...

"You shouldn´t be at school." Shizuo frowned, scanning the flea from head to toe. He had looked like shit yesterday so there was no way he could be completely fine again. The raven didn´t seem to even want to listen to him at all though.

"What are you, my mum?" he asked instead, cocking an eyebrow.

"No, but would be a waste if you got sick again after I took care of you."

...

Aw- that-

The raven blinked a bit taken aback by how genuinely concerned the blond sounded. Yesterday he had been thinking Shizu-chan was just taking care of him because tit was a human thing to do and he was a nice guy at heart after all-

But looking at it like this...

A soft smile sneaked onto his lips.

"So solicitous," he chuckled, "I like that."

Now it was the blond´s turn to be a bit perplexed. For one thing he didn´t know the word he said and for the other- did he just smile and say he liked whatever that was about him?

Shinra really had to hold back as to not say anything he might regret- or laugh for that matter.

Izaya had definitely complimented Shizuo, though he didn't seem to get it, yet he seemed to be happy about it, honestly he had the expression of a child that just got a present but had no idea what was in it in the first place.

"Well I should hurry to my class now. See you~" the raven chuckled, leaving the two idiots behind just like that.

"Ah, yeah, See you later." Shizuo repeated rather dumbfounded, and Shinra really couldn´t hold it in anymore and just started to laugh.

"See you later~ you said~" he chirped, repeating the blond´s words, like some dumb parrot.

"Oh shut up-" Shizuo groaned, his hand trailing t back of his neck awkwardly as he glanced after the flea.

Why the hell did he tell Shinra in the first place? He would fucking slip up, he already saw it coming-

Ah- well there was at least one thing he was usable for.

"Shinra, what´s soli- soli... whatever he said?"

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To be continued~ C:

Naw now wasn´t this a cute chapter? xDD Embarrassed Shizzy and a flea that´s just being too energetic for his own good? xD Something sweetie, sweetie will be happening next time hehe C': look forward to it~! xD

Guest 2: xDD ahah yes xD Shinra that shipper C': if you knew xDD next chappy he will get even more involved x'DDDD he better already dig his own grave x'DD xDD ahahayeah xD Shizuo is just too weak to little innocent kids x'D haha yeah you helped me greatly to figure out their age since I was too lazy to research that stuff myself xD awww no worries C: both of Izaya's parents are said to have been gone on trips most of the time xdD xD ahahah yes xDD gosh these next chapters will be so cute and fluffy and sweet C': xD I´m getting cavities just thinking about it xDDD

Unknown: awwww right? C: I love it too xD and hey, he already has a shitty dad, at least the rest of his family should be sweet and loving C:

Now now on a side note, "let it snow" is supposed to be updated today, ... I am trying my best, but I´m so sure whether I will actually manage till today x'D I am working on it though! So if I don´t finish today, then tomorrow you will get it at least! That´s still Christmas for some people, so- xDD I will still try to finish today tho C':

Now with that being said I have some more news:

- I´m already warning you ahead of time, in January there will be NO UPDATES apart from sotd and bcd on Monday the 2nd xD It´s exam time and I have really a lot of important exams to study for this time C': So I will only continue updating regularly again starting 6th February C:

Plz forgive me xD I really need the time to study C': I will be trying to draw some Shizaya pictures meanwhile tho so look forward to February the 1st cuz I most definitely will be uploading at least one picture then xD

And for everyone who is wondering why ast hasn´t been updated: I´m kinda stuck there xD give me a bit of time I will definitely write more, just right now I´m stuck C':

Well then, with all that being said, see you again on Mondays the 2nd January~! xD

Now, now I have an important announcement to make :C

Sadly sadly, I will be gone now for about a month xC University exams are approaching and I really need the time to study for them all C': to be more specific I´m a nervous little shit on top of that so even when I get time I can´t concentrate on Shizaya chapters xD

Ahh, anyway, the next chapters will be coming like this:

--๑๑- FEBRUARY 2017 -๑๑---

Sometime this week- "No escape" the end I WILL UPDATE/finish THIS ONE XDD

Wednesday 1st

Picture(s) ? Chu will get a little eyecandy or two as a treaty for being absent so long C:

(Done: 1 of ? eyecandies)

MoNDAy 6th

The wish to disappear (36)

A single touch (8)

Sinful Desire (10)

MoNDAy 12th

Survival of the doomed (20)

Behind closed doors (18)

START: NEW STORY: Shingeki no Shizuo (Shingeki no kyojin crossover) (1)

So this is how it´s going to be C': Sorry for being so late again xD And for the breaky C': see you all in February! *0* With hopefully all exams passed and done- xDDDD