If there was one thing that was good about working at the Smash Mall, it was that the food was free. Not everyone got free food, since if they did, there wouldn't be a soup kitchen on the first floor of the mall, but most of the Smashers were given passes by Master Hand to the food court that let them eat for free whenever they wanted, which, to Roy, was a really good benefit.

Though, thinking on it, something occurred to Roy, and he turned over his shoulder to ask Zelda,

"Say, should we head down to the soup kitchen now that it's lunch?"

Zelda shook her head with a smile. "You've no reason for worry. Byleth has offered to cover the shift for today."

"He has?"

Zelda shook her head. "No. Byleth is back in the Kingdom Hearts Cradle, helping Rosalina clean up the story time mat."

"Ah." Roy nodded, but the frown remained on his face. "Do you know why she would want to help out down there now, of all times?"

A smile played at her lips, one that was oddly subtle for her. "I have an inkling of an idea."

"You do? Could you tell me?"

"Perhaps you could ask her yourself. It may not be my place to say."

Roy groaned. "Come on. You know how they are. She won't speak to me. They don't speak to anybody." He spun to face her with a curious look. "Could you please? I'm sure you could figure out a way to phrase it without giving anything away. Let me figure it out on my own!"

"Oh, look. We're here."

Roy followed her gaze over his shoulder, and to his surprise, he found that they were, indeed, at the food court.

He blinked as Zelda glid past him on the marble tiles. Huh. When did we get here?

The Smash Mall food court was just as busy as the rest of the mall. People from many different worlds middle about, checking out the many different food stalls arranged in a circle around the table in the middle. Different smells wafted out from the grills and ovens inside the stalls, mingling together over the table to create a scent made up of every world coming together in the Smash Mansion.

From the scorched and spiced scent of Hyrulian cuisine, to the scent of butter and fruit released by the crinkling of dry, baked poffins in the Pokemon world. It was a smell like no other, one that swirled in your mouth and soaked it with just the faintest taste of everything, not enough to last, but just enough to keep you wanting more.

"So," Zelda asked, turning to Roy with that patient and benevolent smile of hers, "where do you want to eat?"

Normally, Roy would have said McDonalds. It's where he and the rest of the Fire Emblem fighters went to eat for lunch most of the time. But surely such greasy food did not appeal to someone whose unblemished skin glowed golden in the mall's harsh light, so he racked his mind for anywhere else they could eat.

His mind came up embarrassingly empty. As much as it pained Roy to admit, he had only ever eaten at three of the restaurants here, all of them equally greasy and cheap. It usually wasn't such a problem, but now that he had the opportunity to take Zelda out for lunch, the issue reared its ugly head.

Where to eat, where to eat? Roy racked his mind for the answer, frowning as he did, before a rather obvious answer came to him.

"I don't know," he replied. "Where do you want to eat?"

Zelda hummed. She closed her eyes in deep thought, letting them stay that way for the longest time, before she took a deep breath and said, "How do you feel about McDonalds?"

Roy opened his mouth. He closed his mouth.

"I love McDonalds," he said.

Zelda smiled. "That's what I gathered. Shall we head over there?"


It had slipped out of his mouth. Up there, on the rooftop of Princess Peach's Castle, Roy had heard Zelda's stomach growl, and he had somehow invited her for lunch at the food court. It sounded ridiculous when Roy put it that way, but even he was having trouble wrapping his whole head around the deal.

Not that he regretted it all that much. Sitting across from her, watching her face light up with every bite she took out of the fish sandwich in her hands, just watching it brought a smile to Roy's face. Or maybe it was the hamburger that he was also eating that was making him feel this way.

"Hey, Zelda," he muttered, swallowing the mouthful of meat in his mouth and waving a hand in your direction. "Some of your sandwich is spilling out."

Humming, Zelda dabbed a finger underneath the glob of creamy white dripping out of the other side of her sandwich and wiped it clean on the napkin at her side. "So it is."

"Just thought you might want to know. Just in case..." He made a vague motion toward her dress.

Girls didn't like it when they got sauce all over their dress. He imagined Zelda was much the same, and even if she didn't mind, Roy did. Red just didn't go very well with her pristine white folds.

Nervously, he glued his eyes back on his own sandwich. "Yeah."

"Indeed."

Roy glanced up at Zelda, then back at his sandwich.

Gods, this was awkward. He hadn't really thought about what they'd come here to do. Again, he hadn't meant to invite her at all. He just assumed they would come here and eat.

Beyond that, what they could talk about, he thought it'd probably come to him when he got there. But now he was here, and his mind was just as empty as before.

It wasn't this awkward when he was with Chrom or Marth, or any of his other friends. Maybe that was because they were all rulers of their own kingdoms, fighting their own wars–

Roy's eyes lit up. That was just it!

"So..." He slowly lifted his eyes from his burger to meet Zelda's inquisitive gaze. "You're a princess, right? Does that mean your father rules the kingdom of Hyrule?"

Zelda held up a hand to let him know that she'd heard him. She chewed, she swallowed, and she dabbed at her lips with her brown, recycled paper napkin. Roy didn't know how she could make something so coarse and rough look so delicate, but anything was possible with her. She was like a fairy of some sorts, wasn't she?

"I rule Hyrule," she said after clearing her throat, "but I am still recognized as Princess Zelda because I have not had my coronation yet."

"Oh." Roy frowned. "Why haven't you had a coronation?"

Zelda shrugged. "I've not found the time for it yet. Besides, I feel more accustomed to Princess Zelda. Queen Zelda has an odd tone to it, would you not agree?"

Roy pursed his lips. "Queen Zelda," he muttered, letting the word roll around on his tongue. "Queen Zelda." He frowned. "It does sound strange."

"I know, right?"

"Yeah." Roy tapped an awkward finger to the table.

Where had he been trying to go with this? Oh, that was right.

"So, you rule Hyrule, is that right?"

Zelda nodded. "That is correct."

"What is it like? Ruling a kingdom?"

Zelda inclined her head in curiosity, an oddly childish mannerism of hers that Roy thought strangely adorable. "Wouldn't you know?" she asked.

Roy shook his head. "I'm afraid I'm still a little unfamiliar with it. I've spent most of my life being trained to rule, but I haven't had the chance just yet. It sounds hard, though."

Sighing, Zelda nibbled on his sandwich, then let her head rest on her arm and replied, "It is. I wouldn't envy myself. Ruling is a back-breaking task. There are many difficult decisions that must be made."

"Difficult decisions like what?"

And everything went silent.

Roy waited for Zelda to speak again, to fill the silent with her soft voice, but she never did. For some odd reason, she had stopped chewing too. Almost as if she had frozen entirely.

Roy frowned, and he snapped his fingers in front of her. "Zelda? Is something the matter?"

Zelda blinked. She shook her head, almost as if shaking off some strange hold over her. "No. I'm fine."

"If you say so." Roy watched her with narrowed eyes, but when he blinked, she really did look fine. Like nothing had happened at all.

But something had happened. He had seen it on her face, in the way that her smile stretched just a little too far a moment ago. He had upset her.

He couldn't upset her! She had helped him too much! Was this how he repaid her?

No, he couldn't let this lunch end like this! He needed to find a way to cheer her up!

Roy's eyes raced around the large open space. The crowd left little for him to see, jostling around and bumping into each other until there was barely any space to move. Maybe he could buy her something from one of the stores? But that would take too long?

Then his eyes fell on the tangled maze of plastic tubes, twisting around each other into an indescribable shape that reached all the way up to the glass ceiling. A sign next to it designated it as the "Play Place."

An idea crossed his mind. A stupid, embarrassing idea, but as Roy watched Zelda pick at her food and pretend she was okay, he decided that any embarrassment would be worth it.

Without a word, he left his seat and crept over to the entrance. Zelda followed him with her eyes, and when she saw where she was going, she called out to him, "What are you doing?"

Roy grinned, hoping that his face wasn't as red as he felt it was right now. "I'm just taking a look!"

"As far as I am aware, you are not between the age of six and twelve. Aren't you a little old to be parading around in..." Zelda frowned, and her mouth made several attempts to name the shape. It was the first time Roy had seen Zelda flabbergasted by something. He had to suppress a laugh, lest he upset her more.

"It's fine!" Roy replied with a grin. "I don't think anyone would mind." He paused, then glanced around, just to make sure. No one was looking his way, and no one else was telling him off. There was still a cashier by the counter who might get annoyed if he damaged anything.

Roy waved to Steve, standing behind the McDonalds register. "Hey, Steve! Is it okay if I go inside?" Roy pointed to the bramble of twisting plastic.

Steve looked at Roy. Then, he looked at where Roy was pointing. He raised a blocky hand, stopped, then looked at the cash register. He shrugged.

That was as good an approval for Roy. He glanced up at the mess. Roy had never been inside one of these before. The first time he had come to the Smash mansion, this place hadn't even existed, and by the time Master Hand had installed it (per the insistent request of the child Smashers), Roy had been far too old to ever entertain the idea of exploring the place.

Even without having set foot inside, however, Roy could tell that it was a confusing mess of crossing roads and ambiguous markers that made it easy to lose your place within.

Roy took a step in, then paused. He glanced down at his boots, boots which could easily track dirt all over the cheap plastic.

Stepping out, Roy peeled off his boots, flung them to the side, then crawled back in.

The maze was as ever confusing as Roy thought it would be. Still, at least there came a reprive in the form of the small plastic bubbles that reminded him that he was still in the same place, overlooking the rest of the Smash Mall food court.

The first time he reached one of the bubbles, climbing down a small ladder that only reached up to his hip, he glanced outside and saw Zelda watching him, a curious frown on her lips. He waved at her. She waved back.

The second time, he was going up a ladder when he caught sight of her again. He banged against the plastic, pretending like he was lost. He saw a smile crack on her face. That, at least, helped him clear his head of his nervousness that he had no idea where he was going.

The third time he poked his head down a hatch to find another plastic bubble leading to the outside world. Roy waved out, ignoring the feeling of all his blood rushing to his head. Zelda waved back, and this time, he saw her bring up a hand to stifle a giggle.

Relief had never felt so good, like a warm cup of tea while waiting out a blizzard. Roy smiled back, though he was sure he looked like an idiot. Now was as good a time to leave.

Then he stopped. He glanced at the hatch above, then at the two tubes stretching out to his left and right.

How did I get here again?

"Well, first, I should crawl back there, then climb up the hole and... and..."

His smile fell as it dawned on him that he really should have been taking better note on how he'd come here in the first place.

Roy turned back to the plastic window and lightly tapped it. "Zelda. I'm lost," he said, hoping she could hear him, or at least read his lips. Knowing how smart she was, she probably knew how to read lips, didn't she?

Zelda bent over and giggled again. This time, Roy's face flushed a shade of tomato red. The cramped space certainly didn't help, and he tugged on his collar to let in a little more air. He knocked against the plastic again, and said, "I'm serious. I forgot the way out!"

Zelda paused mid-giggle. She made an O with her mouth, then skittered over to the entrance. Roy watched her throw off her shoes, then crawl inside, white dress and all.

Roy felt a little guilty that he'd pulled her into this too. He wanted to come here to do something silly to cheer her up, and somehow he'd gotten lost in the process. What a fool he was.

Footsteps sounded below him. Roy awkwardly turned around within the cramped space. He had to tuck his legs in and bend his arm back in order to slip between the tight walls, but in the end, he managed to glance down, then over to a nearby tube.

Sure enough, a few seconds later, Zelda's head poked out, grinning ear to ear.

"Hello, Roy," she said.

Roy ran a hand through his hair nervously. "Hello, Zelda."

"Gotten lost, have you?"

"Yeah. Sorry about that."

"Nonsense! I've never had the chance to explore this place myself. It is quite thrilling, having to crawl through these cramped corridors, and I've had to bend my body in the most unexpected ways to navigate this strange maze. I must come here more often."

That brought to mind the image of Zelda slithering through the maze like a snake wrapped in silk. The image was so ridiculous, it brought a laugh out of Roy. "Getting lost aside," he said, "I would be inclined to agree. Perhaps I should come here more often as well, so I don't get lost like I did today."

"Speaking of getting lost, are you ready to escape?"

Roy sighed. "I've never been more ready in my life."


This right here is the reason why the story has McDonalds in the title. It's also one of the scenes that I wrote the story for. Well, half of it anyway. What was it that Roy reminded Zelda of? Will they escape the wicked clutches of the McDonalds Play Place? Find out next time on... whatever this is.

Next chapter will be up in two weeks. Maybe more, depending on how much my other fics drag me down. Until then, take care of yourselves out there, and stay safe!