The Matrix Retarded
Disclaimer: I don't own the matrix, any of the characters I use/used. Nuff said.
Mary, Jim, and I were walking down the street one spring day, when I suddenly felt a disturbance in the force. I turned around just in time to see the short skinny man try to stab Mary. I pushed her out of the way, and broke skinnies hand. He fell on the ground, writhing in pain. Then I felt an incredible force slam me on the back of my head, and everything went black.
I woke up in a dark room, and heard a voice. The voice said, "Mr.Anderson, have you ever just sat there and stared at it? You know the matrix?"
I started to wig out, who was Mr.Anderson? What was the matrix? Why was this man sticking a bug into my stomach? Suddenly, a girl in a tight leather unitard crashed through a brick wall, and started screaming "DIE!" at the top of her lungs, all the while, shooting the man who talked about the matrix. When he was finally dead, I looked up at her and asked, "Potato?" She replied, "Potata!" "NO!" I cried, everything I ever knew about the English language was wrong. When I was done screaming, she punched me in the face, and knocked me unconscious. When I came to, I was in a big pot of sticky goo. I started to fall, and was about to hit the ground and meet the reaper, when a giant potato broke my fall. Samuel L. Jackson was waiting for me, and he said, "It's called English, do you speak it motha fucka?
"I'm not really sure anymore, potato?" I asked. "Are you retarded motha f" Tall skinny white boy stepped out of the shadows and said, " Samuel, shut the fuck" tall skinny white boy fell to the ground and started to scream. "That is what you get for trying to over ride your censor chip!" yelled Samuel L. Jackson. "What is a censor chip?" I asked. "Cursing has become a problem in the past millennia, so everyone, except Samuel L. Jackson, has a chip installed in their brain that keeps them from hearing curse words, and if they so much as utter a curse word… well…" replied tall skinny white boy. "What is your name tall skinny white boy?" I asked
