-๑-๑ ஜ ๑- Chapter 36: Kill kill kill - -๑ ஜ ๑-๑-
Just what.
What- was this?
Shizuo´s phone had rang, he hadn't even been too far from the raven's place. It was Izaya's number so he was overjoyed to hear his voice again. He thought he just wanted to talk.
So why- why did he only hear what sounded like a desperate scream of his name?
Horror had shot down his spine faster than lightning. He didn't know what was going on. He had no idea- he just ran. He didn't know why, he didn't doubt his guts- he just ran.
Ran.
As fast as he could.
The front door was closed.
He ringed- no one opened. He knocked- still no one.
He busted the door right open.
A man stood in his way but Shizuo didn't even recognize the guy as he dashed up the stairs to where he knew Izaya's room was. It had been locked.
Locked.
And something in his brain just snapped.
As if caught in an endless spiral the blond now stood there.
Door bust in.
The sight in front of him made no sense. No sense.
For a full second he thought he was imagining things. For another second he thought he was misunderstanding- and for the third his sanity slipped.
Fists were flying before he even knew his body was moving. There was a man, a naked asshole pining the flea to the ground- a flea that was crying.
Teeth went flying.
A nose broke- the guy shrieked like a disgusting pig as Shizuo´s fist connected with his face.
Again.
He could feel blood smear between his fingers.
Again.
That disgusting asshole´s blood.
And again.
"What's going on here?! Who are you?! How did you get in here?!" Only faintly Izaya's father´s voice reached the blond´s ears and he thought he meant the asshole he was beating the shit out of. Because who else could he possibly mean?
The father moved over to Izaya in what Shizuo thought to be concern.
As if on autopilot the next words dropped from his lips.
"I'm a classmate of Izaya, he called me, there was some asshole that tried to-"
And suddenly the guy hit Izaya.
No, not the asshole he was pinning down.
But Izaya´s father.
Izaya´s father.
Father.
"What do you think you are doing?! That man paid a lot of money for you! You will regret this Izaya!" And suddenly it all made sense.
The bruises.
The whole time Shizuo had thought they had been caused by someone else- by fights in the streets, by whatever shady business the flea was running on the school ground. But no.
All this time it had been someone else.
Izaya's father.
His own goddamn fucking father.
The realization hit the blond like a brick. The way Izaya had begged him to not leave him behind before the school trip. HIs father had been there- trying to pick him up. The way Izaya's grip had tightened on his shoulders and the way Shizuo´s guts had screamed at him that something was wrong.
Before the excuse of a father even knew what was happening he was torn away from his son- thrown into the other wall of the room.
Fists flew.
Hard.
Numb.
More blood splattered- decorated the ground in violent patterns of red.
Raw force met skin.
Again.
Bones broke- Shizuo could hear them crack- and yet he just didn't stop. Were it his own? Or theirs?
Again.
It didn't matter.
Again.
All that did was the ringing sound inside his ears and the incredible heat that glazed over his sanity.
Again-
"Shizu-chan stop!" the words were heard and yet they didn't quite reach Shizuo´s mind.
The bastard wasn't even moving anymore- none of the two were.
Shizuo didn't know how much time had passed.
His fists were starting to feel numb.
"Shizu-chan!" And suddenly there was a faint touch.
Cold.
Soft.
Timid.
It was Izaya's hand wrapping around Shizuo´s wrist. He had just pulled it back, ready to slam more into that bloody mess Izaya's father´s face had become.
He wasn't dead, however. Softly rising up and down he could see his chest move.
Too bad.
"Shizu-chan-" Slowly, only slowly the haze around the blond started to fade. The ringing in his ears slowly faded, allowing him to actually perceive Izaya's words.
Turning around he faced the flea for the first time since he barged inside this horror scenario.
He was pale. Worryingly so.
His expression seemed strained, trails of liquid stained his cheeks left and right.
Tears.
His wrist.
Oddly bent and slowly turning blue.
"Hey, what did he do to your hand?" Cold fury laid in his voice and to be honest Shizuo was scared of his own sanity at this point in time.
He felt the need to kill.
Kill.
End that man's life.
For real.
And the thought scared him almost as much as it was exhilarating.
Izaya said no word- whether he just didn't want to tell or couldn´t bring the words across his lips was something the blond could only guess- and guessing did not exactly help diminish the rage he felt.
Wet- warm and smooth he could feel blood seep from his clenched fists.
Izaya's father's blood.
The bastard´s blood.
And suddenly something inside him just crashed.
The heat that had filled his mind suddenly turned ice cold.
Realization dawned.
Out. They had to get out of here.
Wordlessly the blond grabbed the raven´s arm before storming for the door- the busted one to Izaya's room, the entrance door.
Minutes passed.
The house started to fade in the background.
Out just out.
Cold puffs of air materialized themselves in front of his face.
"Shizu-chan- wait-"
But Shizu-chan didn't wait.
Izaya wasn't sure whether he had even heard him call. The grip on his arm was tight, the force pulling him after harsher than expected.
The blond was mad- mad beyond anything Izaya had ever seen.
Half an hour.
He had slammed into those two for over half an hour. Izaya had been calling his name countless times- he thought he wasn't going to stop, he thought he was going to kill them.
Not like their death would have been something to mourn over but- a killer? Shizu-chan turning into a killer?
Because of his father?
Because of… that guy?
Vertigo overwhelmed the raven´s senses as the events caught up within his brain. The bastard- what he tried to do- the fast pace they were walking at- the steady thumping pain in his wrist.
Too much.
It was just too much.
Stumbling shortly the raven managed to tear his arm away from the blond before leaning against a building´s wall- vomiting whatever it was that his stomach contained.
It was only then that Shizuo finally stopped walking- the spiral of madness crashing into pieces as worry took over with a flash.
"Are you okay- Izaya-" Tears trailed down Izaya's cheeks as he shook his head only confirming the blond´s worst suspicions. Tremors were shaking the flea from head to toe, he wore nothing but his shirt and pants too. It was cold.
Quickly peeling himself out of the jacket he had been wearing, the blond dropped it over the raven's shoulders.
Hands were gently holding the raven in place left and right as the raven heaved.
Izaya let his head lean against the cool surface of the wall.
His surroundings were spinning so bad.
Was it the hits he received to his head? Was it the situation? The adrenaline, now fading? Izaya had no idea. He just knew he felt like shit.
"Did he touch you?" It was Shizu-chan´s question that snapped the raven out of his daze as much as it tripled his nausea.
But he shook his head- trying to chase away the image of what would have happened if Shizu-chan hadn't shown up.
"And before today? Did he-"
"No, no today that was- I don´t know he never did this kind of thing, so far he just used to hit me- that's all," Izaya managed to get out- only fuelling the blond´s madness.
"Just- Fuck that´s so messed up- he is supposed to be your dad! He is supposed to be there for you!" It just was incomprehensible to the blond. Sure not all fathers were the same. Shinra's father was weird and gone most of the time not giving a lot of thought to his only child, his own father was more on the uncaring side too- but this?
His stomach churned just thinking about how he had let the raven go home peacefully every single day- and it grew even worse when he thought about how long this had been going on. Hope had sparked for a moment, or maybe he just wanted to believe his own lies- but the idea of maybe his father having started to hit him only recently had somehow manifested itself inside his head.
Maybe as some kind of self defense mechanism- but the more he thought about it the more horrifying the truth seemed to become.
This was nothing new to Izaya.
This- had been going on for a very long time.
"Why Izaya? Why didn't you tell me? I would have beaten him up! I would make it so he never lays a hand on you again! That bastard should be locked up, you should have told your mother you-"
"I couldn't!" surprised by how loud the flea´s voice sounded in the clarity of the cool night, Shizuo´s voice died down.
The flea just seemed so done.
So so done- with everything.
Fuck.
This was not the time to blame Izaya.
Not now.
Not after what had just happened.
Swallowing the rage as well as he could, the blond bit his tongue as he pulled the flea into his chest.
"Hey, it's okay-" he found himself mumbling, "It's going to be okay from now on." Shizuo just kept mumbling those words, not even sure of their content- but he was definitely not going to keep standing by as if nothing happened.
"... why couldn't you?" Shizuo found himself asking- quietly, not even sure whether or not it was wise to pry into the matter right now.
But he just had to know.
The flea wasn't stupid- he wasn't a masochist- he wouldn´t be taking all of that bastards shit for no reason.
The question caused Izaya's throat to constrict almost painfully.
Why, huh?
Guilt suddenly added itself to the mixture of panic and fear. But who was he even trying to deceive?
Shizu-chan? After everything he did?
"I tried once," he started slowly, his voice shaking as he did but that fact was ignored as he forced himself to go on. "I said something, not the whole truth, just dared to imply something in front of my elementary teacher."
Meanwhile Shizuo just froze.
Elementary-
No way.
No fucking way.
This long-
"When I got home-" the flea paused- and the bad feeling in Shizuo´s gut only intensified.
"He strangled Mairu."
Mairu.
It took the blond a second to realize Izaya was talking about his little sister-
"To show me what he would do if I ran away or dared to talk. He knows I love them so he just- She was barely a year old!"
Izaya doubted she remembered it.
And yet.
That pattern.
The way she barely talked.
It had to be because of that.
"I thought he was going to kill her, I really thought-" Ultimately he was at fault. Because he just couldn't keep his mouth shut. He still remembered the way his father had looked at him- that disgusting grin on his face.
The power trip he must have received from this had to have been immense.
"He said if I told anyone he would do that again and this time for real-" he had never cared about any of them. They were all his children- but he didn't care. "It's my fault she behaves like that- It's my fault she barely talks-" The raven faded out.
Trails of salty liquid trailed down his cheeks at the suffocating feeling suddenly tormenting his senses. Just remembering the situation caused his whole body to go into lock down as tremors wracked his body.
Izaya felt it- and he knew Shizuo did too.
Lifting his gaze to look at the blond´s expression he froze.
It was hard. The gaze he held in his eyes was nothing Izaya had ever seen before. No matter what he had done at school, no matter how much he had hurt the blond or gotten on his nerves- this expression right now was nothing he had ever seen before.
"I will fucking murder that asshole."
Kill.
That was the only thought filling Shizuo´s mind.
Kill- kill- kill-
His body moved before he knew it. Right into the direction they had come from.
Another body clinging to his own for dear life caused him to stop shortly.
"No-!"
Izaya.
"Why the hell not?!" Shizuo barked- his eyes knitted in anger, concern, worry and just so much regret for not noticing earlier.
But the flea didn't say a word. Instead he just stared at him wide eyed.
Tremors were still shaking his body.
His hands were just so cold.
Like a mirror being smashed into his face Shizuo realized what it was that he was seeing.
Fear.
An expression he thought he would never see on the flea.
The question was- who did he fear?
His father? Or him?
Like a blow to his gut the question circled his mind.
Of course.
How stupid was he? Having been confronted with violence his life long- he was only being thrown in front of it again.
Violence.
Something his father had used against him- he was no better than him.
What did the raven actually think when he saw Shizuo beat up half the football team in one clean sweep? What was on his mind when he kept showing nothing but aggression and pure force?
When he screamed? Chased him?
Was that why Izaya had always made him chase him?
Was it his way to prove to himself that in worst case he could always run from his father? And would succeed? That he could fight him, and win?
What that why he owned a knife?
Countless thoughts swirled inside Shizuo´s head as just so many of the flea´s actions and words got set into an entirely different context.
And suddenly it struck the blond as just so wrong to go back to the flea´s place.
To go back and beat that man up with what Izaya had feared his life long.
Not now.
An unbelievable calmth, led by guilt and the sudden insight swept across the blond.
Not right now.
Right now Izaya needed him there. He didn't need someone to kill his father. He didn't even need someone to beat him up-
That wasn't even the problem.
He needed to be taken from that environment.
It was then that Shizuo´s sight fell on the raven´s wrist once more.
"Your hand," he mumbled slowly, causing the flea to snap out of his daze as his glance snapped downwards.
"I think it's broken," Izaya mumbled a bit perplexed about the sudden topic change.
Reaching out the blond sighed softly.
"... can I?"
A moment of hesitation lingered in Izaya's eyes until he sighed- showing the wound he had suffered.
Gently, much more gentle than the flea had imagined Shizu-chan to be, he examined his wrist. He turned it, twisted it.
But carefully.
"Does this hurt?" the raven shook his head softly- it really didn't. "And this?" again he moved his hands in a certain way, but nothing that caused pain.
"It's not broken," he suddenly announced, surprising the raven just a bit.
"How do you know?" A shrug followed and the blond pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.
"I have broken my arms and legs so many times, I know how to check that by now." Wordlessly the device was lifted towards his ear, the familiar sound of dialing being heard in the cold night.
"Mum, I'm sleeping over at a friend's place today, is that alright?" Surprised by the content of the call, Izaya's brows furrowed. "Yeah, to study history." Stay with a friend?
Where?
"Alright, thank you."
And why?
The call shut off.
"What are we doing?" Izaya asked, a bit dumbfounded- the answer not really enlightening him any further.
"Now we are sleeping at a friend's place."
To be continued~
See? xD I promised an update and here I am ~
And I pledge to keep updating in this manner C; although i did not manage to get Sotd and Sns done in time xD soooo x'D but i will get those out by tomorrow/ the day after tomorrow :3
With that being said I think we can all guess just who´s place they will be crashing at haha
See you in the next update on 30th of November~! ;3
