Chapter 13: Don't You Believe Me?

Lucky woke up still tired and miserable. Even Darry doesn't believe me, he thought miserably. My own roommate doesn't believe me. Can life get any worse?

It could. All day, his friends were all avoiding him. His professors were wary of him and even Professor Chaplin didn't make a fuss when Lucky told him he forgot his homework again.

You know the world's really against you when even Chaplin doesn't rag on you, Lucky thought unhappily.

At lunch, Lucky caught up with A.J. "Hey, A.J.!" he yelled, running up to her.

"Huh? Oh, hey Lucky," she said, trying to sound normal. "So, what's cracking?" Lucky asked, draping his arm casually around her shoulders.

To his surprise, A.J. shrugged his arm off, mumbled, "I've got to get to class," to her shoes and ran off.

Lucky kicked a stray Coke can. Even A.J.! This was too much. He felt like bawling, and almost did.

"Man," he muttered instead, and shuffled off miserably. Everywhere he went, people skirted around him, whispering amongst themselves, or immediately stopped talking and stared at him with guilty faces as he walked by.

Jeez! Lucky thought to himself. You'd think I'd already got my verdict or something!

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A.J. hurried off, not wanting Lucky to see the tears that dripped constantly from her eyes like a leaky faucet.

She wanted so badly to tell him she believed him, that she had faith in him, that she knew he was innocent. But that was just the thing. She didn't know.

She didn't know what to think. And before she opened her mouth, she had to know what reigned: her love for Lucky, insisting that he was innocent, that he was just a goof that didn't mean any harm, or the other, darker thoughts lingering at the back of her mind. The thoughts that rationalized, saying, Well, he was stoned, he didn't know what he was doing, and he does have a bad temper and he is very strong and capable of things…

A.J. would have gladly considered electroshock therapy if it meant getting rid of thoughts like this.

But since that wasn't an option, she had to live with it. And as of now, she didn't know what to believe.

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Darry still couldn't concentrate in Calculus, although it wasn't because of Professor Hart. He was worried about his friend and roommate. The trial was coming up soon, and trepidation filled his heart as though it were his own Judgment Day.

Ah, screw it, Darry thought, staring at the test problems. I quit. I'm outta here…just as soon as I can turn this in.

He turned in his test paper quickly, not bothering to fill out the last ten problems, knowing he would get them wrong anyway, and bolted out the door.

He immediately almost ran head on into someone. "Oh. Hi, Lucky. Sorry about that," Darry said almost tonelessly. Whenever something was bothering him, he immediately made himself impervious to emotion.

Must be out of habit, he thought distractedly. "So. Wanna get some lunch?" Darry asked. Lucky looked astonished, and yet a spark of hope glimmered in his eyes.

"You mean it?" he asked. "Well, if I didn't, I wouldn't very well be asking you, would I?" Darry said exasperatedly.

They walked down to the outdoors cafeteria, chatting with a strained friendliness about football, basketball, Two-Bit's comedy show, who was going to clean the room next, etcetera, etcetera, and so forth.

They carefully avoided the topic of the trial.

Darry wondered as he was talking and looking at Lucky, Is he really innocent? Can he be guilty? Do I really believe that Lucky is capable of murder?

He didn't know what to believe.

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A.J. took a deep breath and made a beeline for Lucky in the outdoors cafeteria. She had spotted the back of his auburn hair and made up her mind. She was going to tell him exactly what she thought of him, even if it completely destroyed what friendship was left.

She stood directly behind him and stretched out her hand. Why is this so difficult? She screamed at herself.

She tapped his shoulder. He turned around with a look of mild curiosity on his face and grinned. "Hey, A.J.!"

Hearing his voice, so cheerful, so confident, made her heart break. She couldn't do it. she couldn't. But she had to.

She stalled. "You, um, have a stain on your shirt." Lucky rolled his eyes.

"A.J. Did you come over just to aggravate me about stains on my clothes?" Lucky snapped at her.

"No," A.J. admitted. "I have to tell you something."

"Well, hurry up, because I haven't got all day," Lucky said impatiently, putting on his shades.

A.J. opened her mouth…then shut it. "Never mind," she said quietly, already turning to leave.

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Watching her go, Lucky knew what she was thinking. But he knew her well enough to recognize the look on her face. It was the Lucky-I'm-going-to-tell-you-what-I-think-even-though-you-don't-want-to-hear-it look. Right now, that was the last thing he needed.

I'm not guilty. They can't prove anything, Lucky kept repeating to himself throughout the day.

I'm not crazy. I'm not a criminal. They can't do anything to me. If I was really guilty, I'd still be in jail. I'm not guilty.

Even as these thoughts channeled through his brain, Lucky realized that the sole missing thought amongst all these was the most important of all, and although he then repeated it over and over in his brain, it didn't sound true, even to himself.

I am innocent.

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What's gonna happen? Um. To be honest, I don't know either. That's why I am going to ask for your help. Suggestions, comments, concerns, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism?

I write random stuff for myself. But fanfiction I write for reviews. So help me out, okay? Please?