Title: Got Milk?
Rating: G (One "dammit" that I didn't know Hitsugaya was capable of)
Characters/Parings: Hitsugaya, Ukitake, milk
Word Count: 433
Warning: Random OOCness
Summary: Milk does the body good!
A/N: Inspired by the end of the episode where Ukitake gives Hitsu candy. Too funny. So, I turned it into milk instead, because it's my holy elixir. Moo.
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"Hitsugaya-taichou!"
Hitsugaya was very tempted to ignore that voice. Very, very tempted. But he was a taichou, and he had to be civil, dammit.
"Hai?" He stopped in the middle of the hallway.
"Hitsugaya-taichou—"
"Hai, Ukitake-taichou?" He tried to keep his voice as neutral as possible, but irritated crawled in there somehow. He turned around to see Ukitake hurrying up to him as fast as his legs could carry him. How was it possible for such a sick man to be so damn fast? Especially when it meant putting Hitsugaya in uncomfortable situations?
"Anou… I have a gift for you, Hitsugaya-taichou," he said triumphantly, making Hitsugaya immediately wary.
"You do?"
"Hai." He was beaming. The old man was beaming. As much as Hitsugaya's conscience screamed that Ukitake was a taichou, a kind and generous one that needed to be properly respected, his body recoiled instead. He was acting far too fatherly for that. It only reminded Hitsugaya that he was a child, and he certainly didn't need any more of that.
"I—"
"Here." He pulled a strange-shaped box out of the folds of his uniform and held it out to Hitsugaya in the palm of his hand. The box had a pyramid-type section on top and the picture of a cow imprinted on the side. Hitsugaya eyed it as if it would spout legs and start singing and dancing. It was entirely possible. He raised one skeptical eyebrow.
"It is milk," Ukitake stated proudly, waving the box under Hitsugaya's nose. "At least, that's what Rukia told me. Apparently, it is a beverage that humans drink. I tried it; it is very delicious." He smiled encouragingly. Hitsugaya scoffed, crossing his arms and turning up his nose.
"No—"
"Ah, Hitsugaya-taichou, but Ichigo told me this makes bones grow!"
"So?"
"It will make you taller!"
"Nani?" Hitsugaya seethed, balling his fists at Ukitake's oblivious face. "I'm not short!"
Ukitake merely smiled. "Ah, Hitsugaya-taichou, whatever you say. Though I will leave this with you." He shoved the milk into Hitsugaya's hand and winked conspiratorially. Ukitake turned on his heel cheerfully, perfectly content with leaving an open-mouthed Hitsugaya in his wake.
He stared at the milk carton in his hands, and then Ukitake's retreating back. The milk. Ukitake.
"Oi! Did you say Ichigo told you about this milk?"
Ukitake turned around briefly. "Hai." Then he was on his merry way again.
If Hitsugaya couldn't kill Ukitake, then he would certainly kill Ichigo.
Ichigo was a dead man.
But first, he would head back to his office. Alone. And close the blinds. And try this milk.
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END
