DISCLAIMER- same as always but if you have forgotten then, let me remind you. I own nothing but the plot.

"Hiei"

"Hiei"

It hurts, I breathe in. It hurts, I breathe out.

"Sir, he's convulsing."

I just need a moment. I'll just stop breathing for a moment and then I will be fine.

"We're losing him."

"He's coding sir."

"Clear."

A long beep echoes in my ears. Much better I think as my body relaxes.

"Hiei!" God, I wish they would just stop bothering me for a quick second.

"Hiei"

"Damn it. What?" I hear myself say.

"Excuse me?" My father voice booms shaking me back into a new reality.

"I'm, I'm sorry sir…I just having….." I stutter in confusion looking up at him.

He laughs tousling my jet black hair. "You anger so easily, is you zipper stuck again?"

I look down at my hands I notice they are indeed wrapped around the metal tab with YKK enbedded into in surface and it was not budging a bit even when I tug at it.

My nose crinkles, "Yes."

He bends down and zips up my coat. "Son you really need to put a muzzle on that quick temper of yours, one day it will cost you more than a harsh word in return." I nod and thank him.

"Daddy, Daddy." I hear my sister call. "Why can't I come too." She whines running over to our father and myself.

"Because you, my sweetness, are a girl." he say running his fingers through the hair of the child who is now attached to his leg.

"Karasu, stop being sexist." Mother calls from the other room.

"Yes father, you really should stop being sexist." She reply triumphantly

"Sorry" He says loud enough for both her and mother to hear. He then picks her up, tossing her into the air making her pale platinum blonde curls float up into the air and spring back when he catches her in his arms for a more one on one conversation. "Kina, if you come with us who will help mommy cook?" He says with a mock pout. "We can't let mommy cook dinner for everyone all by her self, can we?" He tucks in his chin letting his shoulder length blue-black hair drape into his face.

"No" she slowly says. "Then we both can stay" is her cheerfully reply looking directly at me. "Hiei and I can both stay and help make dinner."

He makes a face sticking his tongue out, "Have you ever tasted your brothers cooking." She giggles.

"I am only eight, dad." I say in my defense. Man, you botch up one hot dog in the microwave. How was I supposed to know eight minutes cooking time was for stovetop only.

"Plus do you wish your poor daddy to be all alone with a bunch of strangers," He lowers his head and sniffles slightly, "in a strange place?" He continues playing his trump card against her emotions.

"Oh no daddy" she says grabbing his chin affectionately, "Hiei will go with you."

He kisses her nose. "Thank you princess, you are far to kind." He places her gently on to the ground. "Beside this is place is not beautiful enough for you eyes." I skillfully hold back the urge to puke on site.

"Yea." I chime. "Dad says this place smells like smoke, alcohol, and ass." I say excitedly and a bit too loud.

"Hiei!" my mother shouts from the kitchen, "What did you just say young man?"

"Hiei said ass mommy, I thought we weren't allowed to say ass."my dear sister immediately tattles.

"You are not allowed to say ass because you are a girl, but me, I am practically a man. Right dad?" I ask looking up and tothe right at my slightly panicked father who is now giving me either the 'You talk way to damn much' glare or the 'Don't you ever shut the hell up' stare.

"Mommy." My sister calls as she bolts to the kitchen insuring my demise, "Daddy is letting Hiei use foul language.

"Karasu" Dad slides on his shoe and sighs.

"That is not true, Yu yu." I shout. "I am not allowed to say fuck." I inform them both proudly in my father's defense.

"Shit." He mumbles before grabbing me and running out the door.

I laugh as he carries my under one arm and hold the other arm straight out in front of him to clear a path in the hall way all while screaming like a school girl. He exits the apartment complex, looks up to our open widow and shouts, "I love you." My mother does not answer.

I place my hands on opposite side of my mouth and shout, "I love you, mommy."

She walks over to the window and sings, "I love you too, Hiei." then shuts the window.

My father sratches the back of his head, "Well at least one of us is getting dinner."

Beep. Beep. Beep

My father pats his body down.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

He fumbles in his coat pockets. "Ah ha" he exclaims pulling out a small black device from his pocket.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

He pushes a button on it, "Gracious, gamblers are so impatient." He shoves the noisy little thing into his pocket and opens the car door. "Shall we?" I hop in excitedly realizing I am finally going. After all the amazing manly stories, after all the begging he finally said yes. I quickly crawl over to the other side and unlock his door. He smiles, slides in and starts the engine. We ride in peaceful silence. I turn to the window in look out into the distance watching the power lines ungulate against the darkening sky my head drops forward for a moment. I quickly yank it back up.

"Lay back Hiei." suggests "I will wake you when we get there," he promises. I lift the lever and recline my seat back.

"You promise?" he nods "and wake me before we get there." I stifle a yawn and close my eyes. "And I am a man, so you are not allowed to carry me." I mumble fading into a deep sleep.

Beep. Beep. Beep

The sound of my father's pager pushes me further into a sleep-coma, but some how the beeping was slower.

"Your still here sweetie?" an unfamiliar voice gentle whiffs into my awakening mind.

The feel of over starched pillow cases on under stuffed pillow press permenate creases against my cheek. The comforting smell of cinnamon floats around me as more recognizable voice answers back. A sigh, a shuffle and a closing door is pulled from the previous person.

"I am so sorry….I knew I should have came with you…..I just….I ….Damn it, Hiei why are you so stubborn?"

"Well" I choke out hoarsely. "I guess you are a lousy friend." I receive no verbal response. I hear a gasp the quick shuffle of feet and a brief silence before my hospital bed sink and recoils as he lands on top of me.

"Hiei?" he says as his hands invade my face as if he was a blind man trying to recognize a long lost relative. "Hiei?"

I crack my eyes open and think, de ja vu' honestly he truly is a beautiful creature but he has no concept of personal space. He is on all fours hovering above me, his nose is a mere inches from mine. Those emerald pools of emotions the gods granted him are brimming over with fear, sadness, anger, and regret. Before I could speak a single tear slide off his bottom eyelash and splashes on my cheek.

"Don't you fucking ever do that again." He whispers rising off my bed. He quickly wipes his eyes. He silently gathers up his things never once looking at me. He pulls the door open.

"What?" I ask "do what?"

"Die." He answers his voice flat and drained of emotion.

He walks out leaving me alone with my thoughts. "Damn him." I mumble jumping out of bed and immedatley regretting that rash little decision. "Shit." I curse in pain untangling all the plastic tube attached to my body unwilling pulling one out cause the machine to beep loudly. "Aw fuck it." I snatch all of the other connection from my body and hobble to the door.

"Kurama" I shout standing in the middle of the hall way. "What the hell is your fucking problem?" I say marching up to him than grabbing his arm demanding he turn around. He pushes the down button before he faces me.

"You died, Hiei. You died." His fingers trace a small line over my throat and chin barely making contact.

"So" I reply coldly "What's it to you?" I push his hand away.

He smiles sadly and steps backwards into the elevator. The doors close.