I took the supermarket flowers from the windowsill
I threw the day old tea from the cup
Barry couldn't believe he was here right now. Only moments ago, it seemed, he was at the hospital, but that had been days ago. Almost a week, but time it seemed, hadn't slowed down, even for the Flash as he had found himself on the steps of his childhood home.
It felt so much different now to him, almost foreign in a way, but that was because the life that used to be inside of it as gone.
Packed up the photo album Matthew (Iris) had made
Memories of a life that's been loved
It seemed that Wally got here before him, judging by the boxes already strung around the place as he had entered, as well as the dead flowers and old ginger beer bottle on top of the bin and teacups in the sink. He had also left some mess in his wake, most likely because he didn't want to be there as much as him, him having to pick up some photo albums that Iris obviously put together a long while ago that had fallen out of one, gently stacking them back up into a pile like they were made of gold before having to let his eyes wander, heart aching.
He had heard Wally say that after the funeral he was going to help his stepmother with packing up the house. Cecile said it was just too painful to live there right now and look around, seeing Jenna as a little girl and hearing a laugh that made her cry.
Barry understood at that moment how it felt, being there right now.
The truth was there, he just...didn't want to admit it.
Took the get well soon cards and stuffed animals
Poured the old ginger beer down the sink
The place was a mess, but he guessed since nearly all of them, him, Jenna, Iris, Wally and of course, Cecile hadn't left St. Andrews Hospital for almost a week beforehand, he doubted that it was supposed to look this way.
He decided that, since he was here in the first place, due to a lot of protest on his part, that he'd clean it up a little. Cecile would appreciate it most likely. The cards were the first to go. Get Well cards strung on the table of the dining room in all shapes, colors and sizes.
Their cheesy well wishes and get betters made Barry's heart break even more than it was already, but also made him angry that none of them were heard, no matter how many there was. The stuffed animals as well, something Cisco or Harry had decided to get out of a kind gesture (he couldn't remember which) also went. They didn't matter, it was just material ina shape. They didn't help what had happened.
Dad (Mum) always told me, "Don't you cry when you're down"
But mum (Dad), there's a tear every time that I blink
Joe. Joe had passed away.
The old man, who Barry loved like a father, even calling him Dad long after Henry had been taken from him, had lived long enough to see Nora, his young daughter, get married, but at the reception, complained he was feeling sick. Barry thought he was fine and watched as Cecile took him home, not knowing it would be one of the last times he'd see him again.
Oh, I'm in pieces, it's tearing me up, but I know
A heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved
The next few days, after the reception and Nora had gone on her honeymoon, Joe was still ill, but seemed to be getting better. Then...then in the middle of the night, as he was sleeping, he just had a heart attack. He never woke back up after that.
So I'll sing Hallelujah
You were an angel in the shape of my mum (and I know I've been loved)
Barry should have seen it and it killed him inside, remembering Cecile's cries on the phone before he raced to the hospital, not believing it till he saw all the machines fighting to keep Joe alive and knowing he could do nothing but wait, holding Cecile's tiny, grayed form close to him as he fought not to shake him awake and make the nightmare he was just thrown into end.
When I fell down you'd be there holding me up
Spread your wings as you go, when God takes you back
He'll say, "Hallelujah, you're home."
He was pulled out of his memories by the sound of the kitchen window squeaking, bringing back the fact that Joe was never coming home again. He hated how the house seemed to mock him at this point, but he had promised Iris to go get some of Joe's old belongings for both her and himself before everything was either moved, put into storage or removed.
Cecile wouldn't mind, he knew that at least.
I fluffed the pillows, made the beds, stacked the chairs up
Folded your nightgowns (old suits) neatly in a case
After finally getting rid of all the cards and placing the now full box near the bin, he quietly made his way upstairs to Cecile and Joe's bedroom, dry throat swallowing at the confronting room. Cecile it seemed, had already cleared out the closet, so Joe's suits were over on his side of their bed. Iris had specifically wanted them, not really for herself, but for when Nora had her own children or her twin, Nathan, needed something formal, so he started packing them up, using one of Joe's old suitcases as a box.
John (Len) says (said) he'd drive then put his hand on my cheek
And wiped a tear from the side of my face
Just as he was finishing up, he felt the stairs creak and looked up at see his husband, Leonard Snart, standing at the door, a sad smile on his face as he saw him and walked over. Barry didn't know he was crying until Leonard's hand wiped away a tear on his cheek.
I hope that I see the world as you did 'cause I know
A life with love is a life that's been lived
"Hey Red, how you holdin' up?"
So I'll sing Hallelujah
You were an angel in the shape of my mum (and I know I've been loved)
"I...I don't know anymore." How could he not know? He should have felt something, but...he felt nothing. He was numb, it seemed.
When I fell down you'd be there holding me up
Spread your wings as you go, when God takes you back
He'll say, "Hallelujah, you're home."
He didn't like that feeling. Surely by now, he should have figured it out. Wasn't it obvious? He knew that was a stupid question, but Barry just had to answer it, he felt compelled to. "I feel like I want to cry, but...I just also can't."
Hallelujah, you were an angel in the shape of my mum (and I know I've been loved)
Len, surprisingly, just nodded, knowing Barry most likely still needed time to process everything. It had been hard since Joe had died to really get a word out of him these days, but he wasn't going to give up. He knew Barry losing people he loved was hard.
"Do you want some help to pack up anyways, Red?" Len asked, watching Barry as he just stood there after letting him go. Usually he'd be back to doing whatever task he had been in the middle of automatically, but instead Barry looked like his walls he was obviously holding up suddenly collapsed and dove at him, burying his face away in his chest and sobbing.
"I just-I just want him to c-c-come back Len. I just want m-m-my Dad to come back..."
You got to see the person I have become
Spread your wings and I know that when God took you back
He said, "Hallelujah, you're home."
"It's alright Red, it's alright. I got you, baby." Leonard said, gentler than he had ever been in his entire life as he sank to his knees with his husband, the mighty hero, The Flash, as he reduced himself to a sobbing, trembling mess, holding him tightly as he cried out the loss of the man he had loved almost his whole life.
A man that would never be forgotten.
