Chapter 5 folks and I've decided that it's about time that I expanded the plot. Or created a plot at least.


The Bill

Cell looked up from the desk as the door of the Police Station (or garage depending on how much you trusted the sign out side) swung open.

"Good evening Freeza," he said as his batter co-worker entered the "office". Freeza was in no mood for pleasantries.

"Where the heck where you?" he demanded grabbing Cell round the neck, "We could have done with your help back there you know!"

"I went to get back up," lied Cell, "It was only when I got back here that I remembered that we didn't have any back up so I sat here and waited for you to come back."

"Yeah right, you ran away like the cowardly bug you are!" snapped Freeza.

"Tell me Freeza," asked Cell calmly, "are you actually capable of coming up with an insult that doesn't involve comparing someone with an animal?" Freeza paused for thought.

"No bird brain," he replied, "but at least I didn't leave my co-workers to be killed by an angry mob!"

"Didn't you blow up an entire planets worth of people who worked for you?" pointed out Cell.

"That's neither here nor there," snapped Freeza, "The point is…"

"That we made 459 arrests!" interrupted Goku cheerfully entering the room. He was just as battered as Freeza, but in a considerably better mood. "I think that's pretty good going for the first day."

"You arrested everyone who attacked you!" exclaimed Cell slightly shocked.

"Well some tried to run away," said Goku, "but fortunately Cooler is ace with a lasso!"

"Hi ho Skippy, AWAY!" shouted Cooler as he race by the door wearing a cowboy hat and riding an imaginary kangaroo. Cell watched him for a moment before turning back to Goku.

"So what did you charge them with anyway?" he asked.

"Drunken disorderly behaviour," said Goku quickly. Cell blinked.

"Shouldn't that be Assaulting a Police Office," said Cell.

"Yes but I can't spell Assaulting," said Goku.

"Fortunately there was some liquor in the convenience store," explained Freeza, "so we rigged up a breathalyser machine, filled it with alcohol and what do you know, they all turned out to be drunk!"

"Very good," said Cell, "but isn't Drunken Disorderly Behaviour even harder to spell?"

"No it isn't because you can do it by sounds," said Goku proudly, "Listen, dr-unk-en dis-ord-er-ly be-hey-vour."

"Yes Goku, well done," said Cell with a sigh. Goku looked at the clock.

"Gee is that the time," he said, "I better be off, King Kio is making me write a report on how every day goes so I better get beck to heaven. See you guys tomorrow." And with that the Saiyan hurried out of the garage.

"Good riddance," said Freeza as soon as he had gone; "now we can finally get around to all that cashing in you said we could do."

"Yep," declared Cell happily, "tonight is going to be the best night we've had for a long time." Just then Goku reappeared in the room.

"I almost forgot," he said apologetically, "some one needs to guard the police station to make sure the prisoners don't escape tonight. Right see you tomorrow." And with that he disappeared again.

"Darn it," moaned Freeza, "One of us will have to stay here." Cell nodded before Freeza continued, "And it's going to be you by the way. You owe me for this afternoon."

"Why?" asked Cell, "How can I help it if all the people you killed are pissed with you, it's not my fault."

"Well you're hardly the Dali lama yourself!" snapped Freeza, "hang on a second, how come you're never attacked by anyone you killed."

"Because everyone I killed got wished back to life," said Cell, "Except Goku and he's just too darn nice to take petty revenge like that."

"Some people get all the luck!" whined Freeza.

"It doesn't matter now any way," said Cell, "because I've just work out how we can both go out."

"Oh really," said Freeza sounding interested, "How?"

"Couldn't be simpler," said Cell slyly before calling out, "Oh Cooler…."


A few hours later Cell and Freeza where enjoying a large helping of lobster and caviar. The gleefully manager watched them tuck in.

"You have made an excellent choice gentlemen," he declared proudly, "it is very difficult to find food of such quality in this place you know. I have to charge so much that few people can afford it and I feared that it might go to waste, it is very pleasing to see that I'm wrong."

"Well money is no object here," declared Cell. The manager smiled.

"I am so please to here it," he said with dollar signs in his eyes, "enjoy your meal."

"He seemed nice," said Freeza, "I wonder what he's doing in hell."

"I heard that he brands his staff every time they make a mistake," said Cell.

"That explains why the service is so good," said Freeza. He paused and looked around the table. "I still wish we could have got some wine," he said.

"No way," said Cell authoritatively, "We need are heads on straight if we're going to make this work."

"I just wanted a glass," grumbled Freeza, "I didn't intend to get drunk."

"Yes but you can't have a glass without getting drunk," pointed out Cell. "Do you remember last new year's eve?"

"No," admitted Freeza, "why what happened?"

"Not much," said Cell, "we played scrabble and had a glass of champagne to ring in the New Year. Then we spent the rest of the night in hospital while you were treated for alcohol poisoning!"

"Fine then," conceded Freeza, "I won't have any wine, but your plan better work!"

"It'll work," said Cell calmly before returning to his meal.


A few pleasant gluttony filled hours later and Cell and Freeza had finished their meal. The two of them happily sat back resting their bloated stomachs. A few moments later the manager came up to them.

"I trust that everything was acceptable gentlemen," he said, almost daring them to disagree. Cell resisted the temptation because it would have been lying.

"I can honestly say that that was the best meal I've had since being sent to Hell," he replied instead. The manager looked at Freeza who nodded in agreement.

"Excellent," he said before producing a small piece of paper. "There is now just the small matter of the Bill."

Cell glanced at the bill. He didn't read the actual sub total, but he could tell that it reached into the six figure margin. A smile crossed the Android's face.

"I would like to pay this," he said calmly, "I really would, but I can't."

"Why not!" demanded the manager.

"Because I'm going to have to arrest you for failing to live up to hygiene standards," said Cell drawing his badge in the same smooth manor that people always seemed capable of in the movies. The manager went pale;

"But- but what have I done officer?" he asked desperately.

"Those branding irons you keep in the kitchen are a health hazard," said Freeza with drawing the hand written version of the laws of hell.

"But those are only used on the staff!" protested the manager.

"Sorry the law is the law," said Cell solemnly, "you're going to have to go to jail."

"Wait," said the manager quickly, "We are all reasonable people here, I'm sure that we can come to a reasonable agreement…"


"Wasn't it nice of him to give us a 99.9999 discount on that meal," said Freeza innocently as they left the restaurant.

"Yup," said Cell, "I'm so glad that we could come to an agreement with him. So what shall we do now?"

"Well I've always fancied a plasma TV," said Freeza, "Perhaps there will be a crime going on near by and we'll be forced to confiscate on as evidence."

"Now that would be a pity," said Cell slyly, "Let's go have a look."

The two police officers headed for the nearest electrical store. They didn't get far though. In fact they hadn't even left the street when a group of creatures surrounded them. They were all wearing battered battle armour and looked mean. Still this didn't really faze Freeza or Cell, who were experts at looking mean.

"What's up with you lot," demanded Freeza, "I my companion looks like a cockroach but there's no need to stare. He's kind of sensitive about it!"

"Oh you never could resists an opportunity to show off your legendary wit could you Freeza?" said a familiar voice. Freeza sighed, inadvertently avoiding Cell's attempt to hit him.

"What do you want farther?" he asked. King Cold walked calmly towards them though the crowd, flanked by the Ginyu Force.

"Why what is wrong with a farther wanting to have a quick word with his son?" he asked innocently.

"Nothing as long as it's quick!" snapped Freeza.

"Fine then, I'll cut to the chase," said Cold. "It has come to my attention, via reports of a riot earlier to day that you and your friend have decided to reform the HIFLPD."

"Yes and…" said Freeza irritably,

"There's nothing wrong with that," said King Cold calmly, "as long as you do not interfere with my business plans, if you get my drift."

"Nope," butted in Cell, "as far as I'm concerned this Police business is mandate for me to do pretty much what I want Cold, so why don't you push off before I arrest you for loitering."

"That's a shame," said Cold, "It disappoints me to see the power go to your head like that."

"Oh no!" said Cell sarcastically, "I've disappointed King Cold, what ever will I do, he might set his really scary Ginyu force on me! I could never cope with that, woe is me."

"No need to milk that quite so much," said Freeza critically. Everyone ignored him.

"Cell I would like you to meet my latest hired muscle," said King Cold pressing some buttons on a control pad, "his name is Broly."

Cell and Freeza turned around and noticed a Saiyan standing behind them.

"Is that it?" mocked Cell. King Cold smiled.

"Why don't you show the android what you can do Broly," he suggested. Broly nodded and began to power up. Cell sighed.

"A Super Saiyan, is that the best you can do?" he asked turning back to King Cold, "Honestly people always seem to think that if you give a Saiyan Yellow hair then it suddenly becomes invincible,"

"Um Cell," said Freeza.

"Well they don't," carried on Cell, "I was strong enough to beat a Super Saiyan in my first form,"

"Cell I think you ought to…" began Freeza nervously.

"Don't interrupt," snapped Cell, "anyway where was I… oh yes I could beat all forms of ascended Saiyan in my Perfect form too…"

"C-c-ell" gibbered Freeza as a shadow began to form around them.

"Heck I would have beaten a Super Saiyan 2," said Cell thoughtfully, "if it wasn't for Goku's persuading, so I think I can deal with-"

"OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD CELL TURN ROUND YOU IDIOT!" screamed Freeza grabbing the Android and swinging him round.

"Fine what is i-" Cell began but he stopped when he saw the Legendary Super Saiyan standing behind him. "Well I guess I was rather tempting fate there," he reluctantly admitted.

"Any thoughts?" asked Freeza nervously.

"Just one," said Cell, who then leaped up a kicked Broly in the crotch as hard as he could. The Saiyan didn't even blink.

"Well I'm all out of ideas," said Cell surprisingly calmly, a moment later Broly made his move, grabbing Freeza by the tail in one hand and Cell by the neck in the other. He turned them round to face King Cold.

"Right," he said calmly, "here's what's require of you two. On no account do I want the HFILPD successfully investigating any of my activities, okay. I don't care how determined the monkey gets or how much fluke evidence that nutter Cooler uncovers they are not to arrest me or any of my men understand." Freeza and Cell both nodded quickly. "Good," said King Cold taking a pen out of his pocket, "because if you fail…" he menacingly snapped the pen in two before turning to leave. The crowd followed with Broly, who dropped Freeza and Cell back onto the floor first. With in minutes the Police Officers were alone again.

"Now I'm not an expert on threats," said Cell after an awkward silence, "But I think he could have done better then threatening to break our biros'."


Okay that chapter was a little shorter then the other's, I admit. That was just the way it was planned. Anyway if you enjoyed that, have a suggestion to make or have any constructive criticism then please send me a review and let me know. And if you want to hire Broly as goon then all enquires should be directed towards King Cold's secretary.