Sorry this is late, I had server network problems, any way it's sorted now so here we go...

Hi folks, according to my hit counter no one read the last chapter! However I'm not too crushed because I got four reviews form people who seemed to know a surprising amount about the chapter they couldn't have read. Thus I have worked out that my hit counter is bust, which means reviews will be more important than ever to reassure me that people are reading this. Anyway on with the next chapter which no one is going to read…


Paradise Lost

King Cold looked at the rather unpleasant remains of the mangled Saiyan in front of him. He had know Broly was mentally unstable, but he hadn't been sure why. He still wasn't sure why but at least he now new it must have something to do with Goku.
"And I thought Saiyans liked a fair fight" he mused to no one in particular, "Not that I have anything against those who just want to inflict pain"
He smiled to himself; it had been quite amusing to come into the storage room of his secret under ground base to find Broly beating up the unprepared Saiyan. No quite as amusing as watching the Ginyu Force's attempts to calm Broly down before he blew the entire cave to kingdom come. They had tried restraining him, playing him soothing music, lavender oil and even cattle prods before King Cold had finally used the mind control device to bring Broly to heal. He could have done that a lot sooner but he wouldn't have got any amusement out of that.
"What gives sir," asked Jheese as he cleared up some of the mess Broly had made, "I thought Freeza and that cockroach were supposed to be keeping this guy away from us"
"Well clearly you just can't get the staff these days," said King Cold calmly, hiding his annoyance at his son's failure. That was easier then it could have been because things had turned out rather well from the incident. "Dose this mean we get to snap there pens in half," asked Reacoom enthusiastically.
"Well I suppose they do have to be punished," said King Cold sounding as indifferent as always. However in reality his brain was working in over drive and it had just come up with something.
"On the other hand," he said calmly, "I have a much better idea. Reacoom get Broly over hear I want a word with him"
"Sure thing boss," said Reacoom, performing an exaggerated salute before leaving. King Kold then walked over to a filing cabinet and started looking though it. The files in side contained information on all of his former employees from when he had been alive. Eventually he found the one he was looking for.
"Jheese," he said calmly handing Jheese a photo, "be a good sport and bring me this guy would you"
"Err no disrespect Sir," said Jheese looking at the photo, "but isn't he already here"
"No he isn't" said Kold with a sense of self satisfaction, "which is exactly the point."


"Hit me," said Cell calmly. He quickly ducked as Cooler took a clumsy swing at him. The insane police officer missed and punched the wall instead, while his younger brother dealt Cell another card. "We should really stop saying "hit me" to get another card," commented Freeza, "It confuses Cooler"
"Really," said Cell, "I just thought he was trying to be funny"
"Well if that's your idea of funny then you should write this story," mocked Freeza. Cell glared at him.
"I'm sticking," he declared though gritted teeth, "what have you got"
"Seventeen," said Freeza putting down his hand. Cell smiled.
"Nineteen read them and weep!" he boasted.
"I'm not going to weep just because I lost a game of black jack," snapped Freeza, "I'm not that bad a loser. Especially if I merely lose to a cheating Android at a stupid game!" he finished sulkily putting the playing cards back in there box.
"I take it that you don't want to play again then," said Cell calmly, suddenly someone hit him round the back of the head. Cell looked up to see that it was Cooler who had finally managed to pull his arm out of the wall.
"Well you said hit me," exclaimed Cooler innocently. Cell was quiet impressed with Cooler's commitment to the joke, even to the point when the opportunity for it to be funny had past five minutes a go. However mainly he was annoyed. A few moments later he had quite literally filed Cooler under "I" for idiot. "I'm not sure the filing cabinet is supposed to take that weight," said Freeza as Cell returned to his seat. "It'll manage," said Cell confidently. "Right what shall we do now"
"Well I thought we could divert all the highway traffic in to the lake for a laugh," suggested Freeza picking up some road sighs.
"Sounds fun," said Cell, "but let's make it a volcano instead"
"Oh come on," said Freeza, "no one is going to be stupid enough to drive into a volcano"
"Have you seen the way people around here drive," asked Cell, "They can only be looking where they are going at most a quarter of the time"
"Point taken," said Freeza after a brief pause, "let's give it a try"
They opened the door to leave, only to find their path blocked by, of all people Goku!
"Err… Hi guys," said Goku sounding a little less cheery then usual, however this was no picked up by the shocked villains in the door way.
"H-H-Hi Goku," spluttered Cell, "what are you doing back so soon?" "Oh… err I just came to tell you that I found all the fertilizer," said Goku he paused for a moment before quickly adding, "Oh yes and I arrested Broly for err…. stealing it"
"But how come you didn't get lost in the tunnels for ages?" asked a numb sounding Freeza.
"Tunnels?" exclaimed Goku, drawing a suspicious look from Cell, "Oh yes I found my way out easily enough." He recovered quickly. "What are you two doing with those road sighs?" he asked. "Oh…err… We were just going to clear some congestion," explain Freeza, quickly. Goku nodded.
"Okay then," he said, "You two do that, I'm going to take this evidence and Broly back to the other world for his trial. I'll see you two tomorrow." And with that he flew off dragging Brolly behind him with one hand and a huge bag of evidence in the other. "Oh nice plan Cell," snapped Freeza as soon as he had gone, "you only got rid of the monkey for five hours and now King Kold going to kill us too"
"How?" asked Cell, "Goku arrested Broly, none of his other henchmen could hurt us"
"Oh yeah!" exclaimed Freeza, suddenly feeling a lot better, "I guess that means we're in the clear. Let's go divert traffic into that volcano"
"In a minute," said Cell in heavy thought. "I was just thinking, wasn't there something odd about Goku? You know he wasn't really his self"
"I did notice that," admitted Freeza, "he wasn't so annoyingly cheerful. It made him much nicer to talk to I thought"
"I guess so," said Cell, "This place must be rubbing off on him, he didn't have that cheery glow either"
"What the one he gets from his halo," said Freeza.
"Halo? He dosen't have a halo does he?" asked Cell sounding a little confused.
"Of course he has a Halo!" snapped Freeza, "everyone in the good place gets a halo! It's what stops them getting mixed up with the likes of us"
"Well he didn't have one just then!" snapped Cell defensively, "So how could I have know he was supposed to have one"
"Because we've seen him with it the last four days," argue Freeza, "Come on you must have noticed it; it's one of his most distinguishing features"
"Well did you see him with one today?" asked Cell, trying to prove his point.
"No," admitted Freeza, "But if he didn't have one then it couldn't have been him"
"Well he didn't so it wasn't!" snapped Cell.
"Fine then Mr always has to be right!" retorted Freeza sulkily sitting back in his chair.
"No I'm just Mr always right," said Cell victoriously sitting down again. They sat in silence for a few moments, before the significance of what they had just said reached there brains. At that moment they both dove for the telephone at once.
"What are you doing?" asked Freeza as Cell rapidly dialled.
"Calling the world to warn them!" said Cell.
"Why?" asked Freeza, "what have they ever done for us"
"Nothing?" said Cell quickly, "but let's try to think long term for a moment here, I know this will be hard for someone who's greatest tactical achievement was blowing up a planet because he was worried by a stupid legend"
"We're back on that again!" snapped Freeza, "look the legend was true so I did the right thing!" "Yes and if that guy wasn't Goku then Broly, the subject of that legend is still on the loose!" pointed out Cell, "so I'm calling the other world guys so they can catch him before he comes back here to break our necks!" Freeza thought for a sec.
"Good plan," he said at last. Just then Cell got an answer on the phone.
"Hello," said a recorded voice, "I'm sorry to announce that you are not permitted to call the number you have dialled. If you wish to dial this number you should go back in time and live a better life so that you don't get sent to Hell. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause." Cell hung up the phone in disgust.
"I believe," he said calmly, "the phrase I'm looking for rhymes with "clucking bell"."


King Yemma was very busy, as always. When you had to administer the entire of the after life you rarely got a break. Fortunately he had a large coffee mug to keep him going. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Yemma looked up to see Goku standing in the door way.
"Oh Hello Goku," said Yemma embracing the chance to break up the boredom, "You don't have to knock you know, the doors open"
"Oh right," said Goku nervously, "I was just wondering where you want me to put Broly; I arrested him for stealing fertilizer"
"Good job Goku," said Yemma, "but why did you bring him here? We have prisons to store him in Hell. You should take him there"
"Oh," said Goku looking down cast, "I'm afraid I can't do that, it doesn't fit with the plan"
"Huh?" exclaimed King Yemma, considerably confused, "What plan"
"This plan!" exclaimed Goku determinedly, suddenly blowing King Yemma's desk to smithereens, knocking the gigantic ogre over in the progress.
"Now go get that Namek Broly!" he ordered. Broly nodded and charged past Yemma into the other world. Yemma desperately reached for the phone.
"Get me security," he ordered.


It is amazing how quickly you can do things if you have to. The piece of coursework finished the night before the deadline. The room which had to be tidied before you could watch your favourite TV show. The door which needed barricading before a legendary Super Saiyan came round to break your neck. Well you've probably never done that one but you get the picture.
Cell looked over desk, that was on it's side, at the pile of lockers, filing cabinets, chairs, brooms, riot equipment and a coffee machine that were blocking the door.
"That should slow him down," he declared, proudly. Freeza looked at him less than convinced.
"Broly can destroy planets can't he," said Freeza, continuing when Cell nodded. "So I don't think a pile of furniture will really deter him very much"
"You never know," said Cell, "he might try the door, find it stiffer then normal and decide we must be out and leave"
"That's a bit optimistic," mumbled Freeza, his attention partially focused on a catalogue.
"Well at least I'm doing something constructive," said Cell angrily, "What exactly are you looking at in that catalogue"
"I'm just choosing my wheel chair," said Freeza, "you should do so too there's quite a good selection in here"
"I won't need a wheel chair," said Cell boastfully, "I can regenerate from almost any injury"
"Really?" asked Freeza. He picked up a broken table leg and hit Cell around the head.
"Ow what did you do that for?" demanded Cell.
"Well that wound is healing quickly," said Freeza sounding rather pleased, "looks like it won't matter it they break your neck after all. That's great"
"What so good about it for you?" asked Cell rubbing his head.
"Well it means your going to be able to push me," said Freeza flicking though the catalogue, "so that means that I won't need a motorised wheel chair. It will save me a lot of money." Cell glared at him angrily.
"What makes you think that I'm going to spend the rest of eternity-" he began but was interrupted by a knock at the door. The Villains froze.
"Be quiet and pretend we're not home," whispered Cell, Freeza nodded. It was a good plan, which was quickly foiled.
"I'll get it!" declared a muffled voice from inside a filing cabinet. Suddenly the draw burst open sending bits of the barricade flying. Cooler emerged from the draw and, despite Cell and Freeza's frantic waving, proceeded to open the door.
"Good evening gents," said Cooler cheerfully to the people at the door, "yes they're just in here." Cell and Freeza froze, waiting for Broly to enter the room and break their necks. It didn't happen, instead of Broly, Pikkon and Olive entered the building.
"Oh thank goodness it's you," said Cell breathing a sigh of relief, "wait a second if you're here we're in trouble aren't we"
"You are in a lot of trouble," growled Pikkon grabbing Freeza round the neck, "We want to know what you too did to Goku!" "Why are you chocking me?" squeaked Freeza, "he's the one who was talking to you"
"Yes but I think Cell might speak some sense," said Pikkon, squeezing Freeza's neck harder.
"Well we didn't do anything to Goku," argued Cell.
"Well then how come he and Broly just when crazy in the other world and kidnapped Saichourou the former Guru of Namek?" asked Olive, in a slightly less threatening manor then Pikkon but only slightly.
"That wasn't Goku," exclaimed Cell, "the guy who did this didn't have a halo, he tricked us to and we only realized after he left"
"We tried to call you but we couldn't get though," gasped Freeza.
"Well if that's the case," said Pikkon menacingly, "How come we apprehended Goku at the scene, Halo and all"
"What?" exclaimed Cell, rather shocked, "But, how"
"We caught him and Broly in a ki blast as they fled," said Olive, "When the smoke cleared we found Goku badly injured at the scene, he is currently in one of hells jails, but trust me when you next see him he won't have his halo"
"Oh grate," said Cell unhappily, "But we don't know anything about it, honest"
"Well we can't prove anything," snapped Pikkon, "but we are going to get to the bottom of this! Oh and if you are innocent I'll be come your new hero liaison, and trust me I won't be as lenient as Goku was"
With that he threw Freeza into a wall and the two heroes stormed out, slamming the door behind them.
"Thank you, come again," said Cooler cheerfully.
"Well they were good tempered," said Cell sarcastically.
"There probably just pissed because they were out smarted by someone in Hell," said Freeza, extracting himself from the hole in the wall he had ended up in.
"Yes well it will take them ages to find Broly and Saiuonf;sf- the Guru guy..." said Cell,
"Saichourou," corrected Cooler.
"Yes thank you Cooler," said Cell.
"He's the Former Guru of Namek," Cooler added.
"Thank you Cooler," said Cell more firmly this time, "anyway they'll never find him if they treat every body they question like that. But why would King Cold want Guru"
"I don't know," mused Freeza, "I do remember Guru though, his death cost me my wish because he created the Dragon Balls." Freeza suddenly jumped. "Could it be," he burst out, "that Cold wants Guru to create some Dragon Balls so that he can be wished back to life"
"He could wish to become invincible while he's at it too!" said Cell, "Won't Pikkon and Co. be mad if that happens"
"Yeah and he'll take it out on us when he becomes our hero liaison!" said Freeza unhappily. "He'll be tens times worse then Goku"
"Goku was set up!" snapped Cell, "He couldn't have turned evil, he's too annoyingly nice to do that"
"Perhaps he missed his family too much and wanted to escape." suggested Freeza.
"But surely he would have told us if he wanted to do that," said Cell.
"I guess so," said Freeza, "But we'll need more evidence than your "character witness" to get Goku off"
"Well there's only one thing to do," said Cell definitively, "In order to avoid working under Pikkon we must track down King Cold and Broly, foil there escape plan and prove Goku innocent"
"Good idea," said Freeza, "Though we do seem to spend a lot of time working very hard in order to make our lives easy…"


Can Cell and Freeza save Goku, can they stop the evil plan to use the Dragon Balls and will they be able to do all this with out harming their reputations as villains? Find out next chapter. Oh please review while you wait because like I said earlier by hit counters bust so this is the only way I'll know if people are reading this, okay thanks see you soon.