Hi folks, sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter ready, but I was involve in an incident that lead to a long, exciting and plot twist filled adventure which there is no time to elaborate on right now. And if you believe that you'll believe anything. Basically my internet connection went kaput, so I couldn't update. It's here now though and everything should be back to normal. So read and (hopefully) enjoy.
The Saiyan with a Million Names.
Cell and Freeza are the kind of beings who are as good as their word. When they say there going to blow up a planet they do it. When they say they are going hold a fighting tournament to decide the fate of the world they do that too. So when they decided that they were going to prove Goku's innocents they started to do that too, right away. However like most of their past failures the problem wasn't a lack of enthusiasm. The problem was biting off more then they could chew.
Firstly they tried to gather forensic evidence of there last meeting with Goku. Unfortunately they had cleaned the garage earlier that morning and had binned all the evidence. And even if they had found anything they wouldn't have been able to do anything with it, as Cooler had turned the Polices scientific equipment into a cappuccino machine. So Freeza and Cell had a cappuccino and discussed their next move instead.
"Perhaps some one bribed Goku to do it," suggested Freeza.
"Oh yes brilliant idea," mocked Cell, "what did they say, "hey mister Goku we have a plan, why don't you give up eternal paradise to kidnap someone for us. We can pay you." No one would do that!"
"Well they had to get him to the crime scene some how!" snapped Freeza, "or how else would they have Goku in custody."
"Well I don't know perhaps they carried him there in a bag!" suggested Cell out of thin air.
"It would have to be a pretty big bag!" said Freeza angrily.
"What like the big bag that "Goku" was carrying when he came to see us?" pointed out Cell.
"Yes it would have to be that bi-" began Freeza before stopping, "darn it, I must come across as so stupid in this story."
"What's new?" asked Cell smugly, "anyway we now know how they framed Goku. They carried him to the crime scene in that bag and then when Olive and Pikkon blasted them they dropped Goku's body and fled under the cover of the dust cloud."
"Sneaky," mused Freeza, "I kind of wished I had thought of something like that. Right so all we have to do is find the person who looks exactly like Goku."
"Yup," said Cell, who then paused, "How in Hell are we going to do that…"
Hell isn't small. In fact it is awfully big. There are a hell of a lot of people down there who are being punished for the wrong they did in life. As a result finding one particular person is not the easiest task in the entire world. However if you are particularly brave, or stupid, you can go to the hell administration office to ask for information on a person. This is, some what foolishly, what Cell and Freeza decided to do, but not for very long. They were put off by the sigh which informed them that there was "only Ten days of queuing from this point."
Thus Cell and Freeza found themselves sitting on the steps of the HIFL Administration Department wondering what to do.
"Lets face it," said Freeza "we're never going find this guy in time, surely it would be much easier to let Goku rot in prison and Pikkon boss us about!"
"Oh stop whining," declared Cell, "I'm the perfect Android there's nothing I'm not capable of! I can do anything." Raising his fist into the air dramatically.
"Except from washing under his arms!" snapped Freeza holding his nose. Cell glared at him.
"I supposed that wearing antiperspirant would have made all the difference to this investigation!" said Cell mockingly.
"No but it would have made my life a little more pleasant," pointed out Freeza.
"Don't you ever think of anyone but yourself?" asked Cell angrily, "You can't even do anything for Goku!"
"He killed me!" snapped Freeza, "why should I, besides he's not in trouble, he's just getting into that car over there!" Cell froze.
"Which car?" he asked, leaping to his feat.
"The blue Larda!" said Freeza leaping to his feet his brain on the ball for once. The two of them ran for the Nissan Sunny, which was fortunately parked near by. Boarding quickly Freeza floored the throttle and gave chase.
"Give me a chance to do my belts up!" demanded Cell as Freeza hurled the Sunny through the corners.
"What and lose him!" said Freeza, "not a chance."
"Well he's not exactly trying to get away!" snapped Cell as the g-forces threw him against a window. Freeza examined the Blue car in front of him. It wasn't exactly doing anything illegal, in fact it didn't appear to realise that it was being chased.
"Whoops," said Freeza when he realised why, "I forgot to turn the lights on, I'll soon fix that though."
Freeza turned on the siren. The Car driver, now realising that he was being followed floored the throttle and sped away. Freeza raced after him.
"You know," said Cell, who had by now managed to do his seat belt up, "we could have just stopped him with out the lights, so he didn't try to run!"
"Yes but what would have been the fun in that?" asked Freeza as the Sunny roared though the streets. Well roared isn't exactly the right word, it more sort of whined. The Larder wasn't going much faster either though so they could keep up. In fact if it wasn't for the flashing lights the people on the street wouldn't have know that there was a chase.
"Shoot at him out of the window!" demanded Freeza as he tried to keep up. Cell quickly wound down his window and started to fire Ki blasts at the Larda. The Sunny didn't make the most stable shooting plat form in the world however and Cell hit several other cars and an old woman before he finally got one anywhere near the Larda. And when I say near he still didn't actually hit it, he hit the cyclist it was over taking.
"I think we're going to need a lawyer," he said to Freeza as the cyclist waved his fist at them.
"Oh great can't you shoot straight!" snapped Freeza.
"I can shoot straight!" protested Cell "it's just you can't drive straight!"
"Well I would drive straight if he did!" snapped Freeza. Just then to prove his point the Larda dived down an alley. Freeza followed him sending boxes and dustbins flying as the Sunny knocked them over.
"How come there are never any solid Things down these alleys?" mused Cell, "like a large dumpster or a skip."
"Dunno," replied Freeza, "I guess that's just the way they cerograph these car chases!"
The Cars sprinted out of the alley and back onto the main roads. The Larda suddenly made a dash for the river. Being your stereotypical car chase there just so happened to be a tall ship randomly sailing down the river, and thus the bridge was going up.
"Oh no!" said Freeza, "This is where the police always lose them in the films!"
The Larder raced onto the opening bridge and with out stopping leapt over the edge of the bridge. Freeza slammed on the brakes bringing the Sunny to a halt right by the edge of the bridge.
"Lost him!" he cursed.
"You know I thought that would have ended in a less stereotypical manor," said Cell.
"Yeah," agreed Freeza, with a shrug "but there you go."
Just then there was a large splash in the river….
Cell and Freeza pulled the Saiyan out of the river a few minutes later, and as predicted he looked just like Goku, except with a out a halo and with a tail!
"He really is a Monkey," said Freeza cheerfully tying the Saiyan's tail to a lamp post. The Saiyan struggled for a moment before giving up.
"Okay," said Cell, "How we going to do this?"
"Well I thought we would do the old good cop bad cop routine," said Freeza.
"Okay then, I'll be bad cop and you can be good cop," said Cell.
"Aw come on," said Freeza, "I should be bad cop; I've done a lot more evil things then you!"
"Yes but I look scarier," countered Cell
"Have you seen my third form?" asked Freeza, "ah forget it, we'll just both be bad cop!"
"Sounds good," agreed Cell, he a Freeza both picked up iron bars which had just so happened to be lying around and rushed up to the Saiyan.
"OKAY TELL US EVERYTHING ABOUT GOKU AND KING COLD OR ELSE WE'LL SMASH YOUR HEAD IN!" they both shouted at him.
The Saiyan screamed and tried to run. He got as far as Cell stepping on his tail causing him to fall on his arse.
"Why did you do that?" asked Freeza, "it was already tied to a lamp post."
"Yes but waiting for the tail to stretch that far would take too long," said Cell. "Anyway let's get on with the beating."
"No no please don't!" screamed the Saiyan, "I'll talk! I'll talk!"
"Great what's your name?" asked Cell as Freeza took out a note book.
"Turles," said the Saiyan.
"Tullce right," said Cell, "got that Freeza?"
"T-u-e-l-l-i-c-e, got it," said Freeza writing it in his note book.
"That's not how you spell my name!" protested Turles.
"It is now!" snapped Freeza, "cause I don't have an eraser to correct it, any way why did you frame Goku!"
"The money of course!" said the slightly peeved Turles, "and it's not that hard to spell my name it's just T-u-"
"And how did you do it?" demanded Cell raising the iron bar.
"King Cold found me," said Turles quickly becoming more cooperative, "he said all I had to do was pretend to be Goku, sneak Broly into the other world and kid nap the Namek. He said he would pay me a million dollars for it!"
"Hey just like we predicted," said Freeza proudly, "now where is King Cold and the Namek now!"
"I don't know!" protested Turles, "and I wouldn't tell you even if I did know, King Cold would kill me!"
"Well you have a choice then," said Cell, menacingly, "either King Cold kills you later or we kill you now!"
"You make a convincing argument," said Turles quickly, "All I know is I have to pick up my money at the old signal box every week, Jheese meats me there!"
"Really," said Cell thoughtfully, "I think I've just come up with another brilliant plan…"
Goku sat in his cell counting bricks. It had been a strange day all things considered. He had been beaten up by Broly and had woken up in prison. Goku hadn't been arrested by law enforcers before, but he was always willing to try new things. So far this appeared to be rather boring, the only interesting thing that had happen was when he had been taken away for questioning. He had told them everything he knew about the fertilizer theft and King Cold's plans but he hadn't been able to please them even so. Goku thought that their grumpy attitude didn't really help their information gathering, but pointing this out had only made them even grumpier. So now he was back in his cell staring at the walls again. The bed was lumpy and uncomfortable but Goku was perfectly capable of sleeping any where, so he did. He was woken up by a very loud banging on the bars. Goku sat up assuming it was the guards intending to question him again, but there was no one at the door.
"Behind you, you stupid Monkey!" snapped a voice Goku instantly recognised.
"Freeza!" exclaimed Goku cheerfully turning around to find the former dictator at the window, "I didn't think anyone would come to visit me, lots of people are mad with me. How come your not here during visiting hours though."
"I'm not here to visit!" snapped Freeza, "We need you to solve this case, this is a break out!"
"But Freeza I'm not aloud to break out," protested Goku, "I was told I would be in a lot of trouble if I did!"
"Aren't you in a lot of trouble anyway," pointed out Freeza.
"I guess," admitted Goku.
"Great," said Freeza, "let's go!"
"But you can't break those bars!" protested Goku, "They're Ki proof."
"You always think of problems don't you!" snapped Freeza. "What do you thinks the ropes for?"
"Err, climbing up here," suggested Goku.
"I can fly you klutz!" said Freeza tying the rope around the bars, "off you go Cooler."
Goku listened carefully; in the distance he heard the whine of a car engine. It struggled for some time, but then the bars began flex. Eventually the plaster gave way allowing the bars to fly clean out o the window.
"Come on Monkey," said Freeza, waving a banana, "let's go!"
Goku followed, hoping that Freeza would give him the banana as the prison staff hadn't given him nearly enough to eat. Suprisingly no one stopped them as they flew over the walls to the car where Cooler was waiting.
"Nice job," said Freeza as he got it the car.
"You can be my wing man any time!" declared Cooler in a fake macho voice.
"Where's Cell?" asked Goku getting in the back.
"I'm afraid he brought it while you were a way old chap," said Cooler sadly, Freeza hit him.
"He was just providing a distraction," explain Freeza, giving Goku the banana, "Now let's get out of here!"
"Very well," said Cooler, "this is your pilot speaking, we're clear for take off…"
"….So now you know the full story," said Cell holding out his collection bucket and leaflets, "would you please consider giving some money to our cute, cuddly and homeless animal shelter." He finished with a wining smile. The guards at the gate looked thoughtfully.
"You know," said one of them reaching into his pocket, "I think I will…"
Okay folks, sorry you had to wait so long for that, I'll have the next chapter up very soon. This time I mean it. On pain of death! Please Review while you wait.
