One and the Same
By
Reizod
He is not one or the other, but both at the same time. The man machine called Cyborg.
I do not own the Teen Titans, nor will I garner any profit from this story that uses its
characters.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He awoke. That, in itself was a strange occurrence for the hero in question. He was not privy to things like "sleep". For him, it was more akin to a recharge. He'd turn himself off, plug into a power source, and allow the energy to replenish him. In those moments of repose he would dream. They were normal dreams, not unlike those of any other teenage hero. His hopes, fears and aspirations, were woven together into a waking experience. However, it was not the nature of the dreams before waking that caused him to feel strange. It was the act of waking itself. Whenever he awoke from a standard recharge, his dreams would be interrupted by a reboot sequence, at which point he would open his eyes to start the day. This was the aberration. There was no reboot. The dream just ended. He came to himself in the darkness of his own eyelid.
"Uh oh"
This had happened to him before. It had happened several times actually. And every time it happened, he would open his eyes to a real nightmare. In most cases, someone, usually a villain, had infiltrated his systems and was already messing around with his other half. That was why there was no reboot: his robotic half was already running. There were other, less technical reasons for this to happen as well. One in particular was quite frightening.
"Am I dead?"
He quickly dismissed the thought. Of course he wasn't dead. He still couldn't feel his body. He believed that when he died, he would regain the feeling he had lost all those years ago. That in itself would be heaven enough for him.
"But then, I could be in the other place…"
This idea was discarded just as quickly. Despite the emotional agony that came with the inability to feel, there was no denying that there were worse things than that. He knew this first hand from his many adventures with the Titans. This was partially why he could cope with non-feeling in the first place. That still left the question of where he was now. And what state his body was in.
"Well, I don't hear any gloating. I think that's a good sign"
Indeed, he hadn't heard anything since he'd awakened. The world was deathly silent, mimicking the empty darkness that his lids cradled him in. It was unnerving. No hum of the electronics of his room, or wind that would signify him being outside. Wherever he was, it was an isolated place. Either that or the place was sound proof. He allowed himself a sigh, still leaving his eyes unopened.
"Just get it over with Cyborg."
With this, the half-metal man opened his eyes, anxious at the thought of what he might see.
"This can't be good..."
The sight that spread before him was overwhelming. This was a feat, for he had been to many worlds, and seen many alternate dimensions. Somewhere between Larry's crayon colored dimension, Mad Mod's American London, and Raven's mind, Cyborg had lost the capacity to be surprised, much less overwhelmed, by strange sights and destinations. Yet, it was not a surplus of splendiferous sights that caused the teenage hero to worry, rather the exact opposite.
"There's nothing here."
Indeed, the only vision to grace Cyborg's eyes was that of empty white space. There wasn't even a horizon to differentiate the ground from the sky. Standing on a solid, yet undefined ground, Cyborg raised a cerulean arm to his mouth and pressed a small diode just below the small of his robotic wrist.
"Cyborg to Robin." he said "Robin are you there?"
Hollow static was the only response he received. He decided to try another frequency.
"Cyborg to Raven." He paused "Come in Raven"
Again static answered for his comrade. The half metal man frowned, switching frequencies once more.
"Cyborg to Starfire" His voice was adamant "Star, can you hear me?"
As if to mock him the static returned, louder than before. Two more frequencies to go.
"Cyborg to Beastboy" he spoke in a friendly tone "Yo BB! Cy's gotta talk with ya!"
Nothing but static. Now he was beginning to worry. There was only one frequency left.
"Cyborg to anyone!" He half shouted "Beastboy, Starfire, Raven, Robin, somebody answer me!"
Despite his adamant request, there was no reply, save for the ever present static. This was a worrisome predicament. Here he stood, literally in the middle of nowhere, without the ability to communicate with the Titans, or any knowledge of where this white nowhere was. He shut his eyes once more, gathering his thoughts.
"Okay Cy, you've been in weirder situations right? Just take it one step at a time. There's got to be a perfectly logical explanation for this."
In truth, perfectly illogical was probably the better term. If his life was any indication, the bounds logic were too small to encompass everything that transpired within this universe. Trigon had shown him and the rest of the Titans that much. Cyborg opened his eyes once more, sweeping his gaze across the nothing that spread before him.
"I can't reach the Titans. So someone could be jamming me, or I might just be out of range. Well, it's obvious that there's no one else here but me, so it isn't jamming"
He crossed his arms, drumming his metallic digits upon them.
"So I'm out of range. Next question: am I in another dimension, or am I on another planet?"
He needed only to glance at the empty world around him to answer that inquiry.
"Definitely another dimension" he said aloud.
His voice was deafening in the all encompassing silence of the white space. Cyborg was torn between whispering or shouting in this boundless isolation. He wanted to break the silence, but at the same time, there was a part of him that felt it needn't be disturbed. He resolved not to speak at all. Shouting wouldn't do him any good. Indeed, that might attract whatever denizens resided in the null space. They were an unknown factor, and Cyborg wanted to keep them that way. This in mind, he returned to his thoughts.
"Now, how do I get home? I guess the real question is: how did I get here in the first place?"
"Your guess is as good as mine"
Cyborg's eyes shot open at the reply. Someone else was here. He whirled about, looking this way and that, searching for the source of the voice. Yet only the white nothing greeted him.
"I did just hear someone right?"
"You did."
Cyborg frowned. He hadn't entertained the idea before, because it hadn't crossed his mind, but now it was unavoidable. He could be going insane. After all he'd been through that wasn't such an outlandish idea. Perhaps he had broken the perceived laws of reality one too many times. Now he was paying with his sanity.
"Relax Victor. You're not going insane"
Cyborg continued to scan the white vista before him, not really expecting to find anything. If the source of the voice had stayed concealed from him for this long, he was sure he wouldn't be able to locate it now.
"Who are you? How do you know my name?"
"Who am I? That's kind of a tough question. However, I've always known your true name."
"How do I know you're not just some figment of my imagination?"
"How do you know your entire life hasn't been a figment of your imagination?"
Cyborg pondered this for a moment. Even under normal circumstances, his life was an extraordinary one. He lived in a giant "T" for crying out loud. Not to mention his fellow tenants. If living with an alien, a sorceress/half-demon, a green boy who turned into animals, and the other half of the dynamic duo of Gotham city wasn't strange, Cyborg didn't know what was. Then there were the adventures. How many times had they saved the world and universe anyway? More than he'd ever remember if he weren't part machine. And therein lay the ultimate confirmation of his extraordinary life: Cyborg should've been dead a long time ago. Yet despite all of this evidence, Cyborg was confident in the validity of his experiences.
"I know because of the people I saved, and the evil I fought. I know because my other half won't let me forget.
"Interesting choice of words."
"Who are you?"
"Well, now that you've given me time to think about it, you can call me Alex."
The half metal man raised an eyebrow at this.
"Don't you ethereal types usually have more… foreboding names?"
" Fear inspiring names are overrated."
Cyborg chuckled in spite of himself. He was beginning to like the disembodied voice, even if it more than likely was a figment of his imagination
"I guess they are. Certainly doesn't help when villains face the Titans"
"Because a kid in a strength enhancement suit named Adonis, is still just a kid in a strength enhancement suit "
The half metal hero chuckled once more
"Kid didn't understand the meaning of muscle"
"Do you?"
"Yeah. Back before I… gained my other half, I was an athlete. My forte was the decathlon. That event required more than muscle. It required versatility, stamina and training. You had to know yourself, your limitations, your strengths, everything. You couldn't just be muscular. You had to know how to use those muscles in any situation.
"So if Adonis had ended up in your shoes…?"
"He wouldn't be able to use this body as well as I can."
"Hmm…"
"So…Alex, do you know where we are?"
"Yes"
"You gonna tell me?"
"I don't think you'd believe me if I did"
"Try me"
"We're inside ourselves"
A nonplussed expression appeared upon Cyborg's visage.
"Try me again"
"It's kind of hard to put into words."
"Okay. Do you know how I got here?"
"Nope. I'm as clueless as you"
Cyborg sighed. He should've known better than to ask a possible figment of his imagination about this place. He didn't even know if this entity was real, much less if it was even from this barren land. The fact that he was essentially conversing with nothing was starting to creep out the teenage hero.
Just then something tapped him on the back. The hero whirled about. He was taken aback by what he saw. An android of modest proportions stood before him. It had the same coloration as Cyborg's armor, though it was much more organic in shape. It mimicked a more slender build, giving it an agile look. At the points where the outer casing broke continuity, many thick cables could be seen. The android's head had an angular shape to it, and the facial features upon that head, though humanlike, had a metallic sheen to them. At the moment its eyes were closed.
"This better?" inquired the android opening its eyes slightly.
Though the very presence of this android had caught him off guard, the metallic Titan was wholly unprepared for its eyes. They were completely black, save for their neon blue irises. Even when they were half open, they had a piercing quality to them. For a moment, Cyborg did nothing but stare.
"Those are some weird eyes"
The android cocked its head to the left, a bemused expression on its metallic visage.
"I'm certain you've seen worse. So could you stop staring please?"
Blinking, Cyborg scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.
"You'd think I'd know better, what with all the stares I get. Is that you Alex?"
The android nodded "You seemed uncomfortable when we talked in your mind so I decided to come out in the open"
"Are you some kind of psychic?"
"Not in the most conventional sense of the word, no"
"Then, how could I hear you speaking in my mind?"
"I was within you, Victor. There was no way that you couldn't hear me"
"…Uh-huh."
That didn't really make sense to Cyborg. How could this android have been inside of him? He didn't remember having anything enter him before. The idea of the droid fitting itself into to his own chases was entirely improbable. Alex had to have meant something else by that statement. The question was what. As he continued to ponder this, Cyborg crossed his arms. In the moment he did so, the teenage hero immediately noticed something was different.
"My arms are warm"
He could feel again. Immediately, Cyborg raised his arms to eye level and was greeted with yet another pleasant surprise.
"They're…normal"
Drawing his eyes across his body, Cyborg found that his hero name no longer applied. His flesh had returned somehow. Not only that, but his metallic armor was gone, replaced with black wind breaker pants and a white under shirt. He was Cyborg no more. Now he was Victor Stone, a muscular teen in the prime of athleticism. It was good to be back, even if this did defy all logic.
"Wow…I'm not sure how this happened, but I like it." Victor said flexing his muscles
Alex smiled "Maybe now you'll understand what I meant by 'I was within you'"
Victor paused in his revelry. Looking from himself to Alex, and then himself again, a semblance of a theory developed in his mind.
"You're my armor?" he queried tentatively
Alex's smile lessened slightly "I prefer the wording you used earlier" Alex then made an indicative gesture toward himself "I'm your other half"
A serious expression alighted upon Victor's visage. His other half? Victor had said that before hadn't he? He hadn't been thinking in terms of a sentient being, however. He'd simply meant the other half of his body. The way Alex was saying it suggested that his armor had life, or at least a mind of its own.
"I must be crazy. Talking to my armor. Talking to myself. Like I have a split personality."
Alex smirked "Well, something like that. I didn't come from a chemical imbalance of the mind though."
Victor scratched his head idly "Then where did you come from?"
Alex looked around for a moment "You might want to sit down for this one"
"But there's nowhere to-" Victor started as he scanned the landscape. Much to his surprise, a soft red chair was right behind him. "…sit" he finished. He looked back at Alex. The android was already sitting down in a similar chair. Though he wondered how exactly the chairs had gotten there, Victor decided it was best not to question their appearance and just accept that they were there in the first place. He sat down, sinking into the plush cushions.
"Cushy." Stated the athlete
Alex grinned "Glad you like it."
Sobering a bit Victor leaned forward in his chair "So where did you come from, Alex?"
Clasping his hands and resting his elbows on the arms of the chair, Alex settled into himself with a brief sigh.
"As you know, after you lost most of your body parts in that incident with the portal, your father rebuilt you with cybernetic technology."
Victor nodded to this. That was when everything had changed for him. He hadn't only lost his body parts that day. He'd also lost his mother to a beast from the other side of the portal. His father was always conducting dangerous experiments with Victor and his mother. That was why he had a deep dislike of his father back then. It was like he was a lab rat and nothing more to him. It wasn't until years later, after losing track of his father Doctor Stone, that Vic realized the truth about him. The man was dedicated to his work, but just as dedicated to his family. Involving them in his life's work was the only way he knew to show his love for them. Victor only wished he could find Doctor Stone and thank him for that much.
"Yeah, I remember." Said Victor
"When they were first attached, you couldn't use them."
"Yeah, I spent a lot of the time just lying on that operating table. Doctor Stone was tinkering away at me nonstop. Every time I opened my eyes he was there. I'm not sure if he ever left my side."
"He didn't" Alex said offhand
"How do you know that?" Victor asked incredulously
"I was there too you know" Alex pointed at both his head and Victors "Right up there. And unlike you, I couldn't sleep at the time."
"Seems I caught your insomnia" said Victor
"I guess we can't call what we do 'sleeping', can we?" Alex concurred "But as I was saying, Doctor Stone needed a way to allow you to control your robotic parts, but there was a problem: The machines received messages in binary, while the brain has a language all its own for commanding the body."
Victor nodded "Doctor Stone needed a translator, something that could make sense of the neural signals, and then make them readable for the rest the body."
"And that's where I came in. Of course, I had no personality at the time. I just did my job, nothing more, nothing less"
A curious expression developed upon Victor's visage "You're awfully animated for a machine. How'd you get like that?
Alex gave an expression of mock annoyance "Hold on, I'm getting to it. Now, do you remember how you progressed with the usage of your cybernetic parts?"
"Very slowly. It took me a long time to even stand, much less walk."
"Why do you think that was?"
"I think my brain was getting used to the proportions of my metallic frame"
"Well, that was part of the reason." Alex held up his index finger "Also, your robotic body was acclimating itself to your brain."
"How is that even possible?"
"The receiving wires were new and didn't conduct the neural energies very well. Although Doctor Stone had done his best to mimic the human neural system, the neural transfers still had to be broken in. Your efforts at motion did that. There was also an unexpected side effect."
Victor took on a thoughtful expression "What was that?"
Alex smirked "Me"
"My brain waves gave you sentience?" Victor asked "How?"
"Actually, I'm not quite sure" Alex mused "In all honesty, the waves shouldn't have done what they did"
"What did they do?"
"They altered and expanded my programming. I think it was the constant flow of neural energy or something like that. Anyway, I gained the ability to learn and think in the same way that a human does, only I also had the benefits of computational logic."
"Wait a minute. You're saying you've been in my head ever since my accident?" Victor exclaimed "That doesn't make sense"
"What's so illogical about it?"
"I think I would've noticed you by now"
"Did you notice it when your brain caused your real arms or legs to move?"
"…No"
"Then who's to say that I couldn't go unnoticed as well? After all, that was pretty much the only thing I did up there"
"Still, Raven would've sensed you at least"
"And who says she didn't?"
"She would've told me"
"Maybe she didn't want to alarm you. After all, she knew what it was like to have multiple personalities."
Victor relapsed into thought for a moment. Raven did have multiple personas. One for each facet of her master personality to be precise. He and BeastBoy had learned that the hard way when they fell into Nevermore, a.k.a. Raven's mind. Other than when they were out of control though, they never seemed to manifest themselves. It was a bit of a stretch, but maybe Alex was like that. Unless he was actually trying to make himself known, he wasn't noticeable, even to Victor himself. In other words, he wasn't a personality in the most congenial sense, but simply another side of himself.
"That incident with the rainbow of Ravens still freaks BB to this day."
Alex leaned forward inquisitively "And you?"
Victor chortled "I'm talking to you aren't I?"
"Good point."
"So you've gone unnoticed in my head all these years."
"There was one time that you interacted with me directly."
"Really? When was that?"
"Do you remember Atlas?"
Atlas. Victor remembered him quite well. Atlas was the first villain to force Victor past his limits as Cyborg. Granted, he was still unsure of what allowed him to do that. Based on how he was assembled, there was no growth potential in the metallic parts of his body. Everything had a set limit. Despite this, he'd managed to produce much more power than was logically possible on that day.
"Yeah. Hard to believe that all started over a video game huh?"
"Imagine, kidnapping your friends over a grudge match." Alex said with a smirk "He must have had some petty logic algorithms."
"I'm assuming you're the one who amplified my power output on round two."
Alex shook his head "Actually, I'm not completely responsible for that."
"So it really was my human determination then?"
"Yes and no."
Victor sat back in his chair, pondering this inconclusive response. After a few moments he raised his head incrementally. "This has something to do with my brain waves again doesn't it?"
"If ever I'm involved, it automatically has to do with your brainwaves Victor" Alex replied "You see, the differences between the first time you fought Atlas and the second time you fought him were both emotional and mechanical."
Realization began to filter into Victor's expression "Not only was I more determined, but-"
"-Your body was optimized to work off of that determination" Alex finished. "You see, when you had failed to push your limits in the training exercise earlier that day, I'd realized that you couldn't be happy with the built in limits of your cybernetic parts, even if they did sustain you."
"So you changed them." Victor said "But how could you simulate human growth, and the body's reaction to human emotions?"
"I'll admit, it was no easy task." Alex concurred "Which is precisely why you didn't defeat Atlas during your first match at the stadium. I wasn't finished with all the parts of your body yet."
"But how did you do it in the first place?"
"I reformatted the programming within the parts of your body to disregard any and all safety measures as far as energy output was concerned, and then reconfigured the neural transfers in your body to convert neural energy into actual energy. As I recall, emotions create a very strong neural energy. Your determination was no different. There was still one problem though."
"You mean other than the fact that my safeties were off?" Victor said darkly
"Yes, other than that." Alex replied sheepishly "You didn't know I'd changed your body. You were about to give up, even though the strength to defeat your enemy was ready to be used."
"So you spoke to me" Victor said, an unreadable expression upon his visage "Through the medium of my mind."
"Yes" Alex affirmed "I put all of my programming toward the goal of reaching you, and speaking to you."
"It did feel strange when I spoke to my reflection that day" Victor said "The answers came so naturally. I didn't even have to think them really. They just came. Now I know why."
Alex smiled "And so you went on to defeat Atlas, in an incredible display of power and determination"
"Aw, it wasn't that incredible" Victor mumbled embarrassedly "I just…"
"Broke past your limits"
"With your help."
"I just gave you a means by which to do it. It was you who decided to do so." Alex winked "And you did it quite well I might add."
Victor opened his mouth for retort, but stopped, realizing something. "You little brat! That's why I was so out of it."
"What?"
"You turned of my safeties." Victor said with mock animosity "All that power I used during the battle overloaded my circuits. I spent weeks recovering."
"Uh, oops." Alex smiled apologetically "I didn't have time to modify the settings before you went to battle. I fixed them afterwards though."
Victor laughed "Well, I probably needed a break anyway"
Alex chuckled to himself for a moment, then stopped abruptly. He became very serious "I think I can tell you now."
Victor, noting the change, got up from his chair "Tell me what?"
"Where we are" Alex said, standing up "And possibly how we got here"
"All right then." Victor said approvingly "Where are we, Alex?"
"We're in the space between you and me."
"Uh right. And that is?"
"You remember how I told you we're within ourselves? Well, what I meant by that was that we are within the confines of our minds, yet not in either your mind or mine."
"So" Victor said slowly "We're in the place where our minds come together. Neither in me or you completely, but still within ourselves."
"Exactly"
"And how we got here?"
"Our minds are held together by a neural link. Neural waves in general are electrical in nature. If a powerful electrical blast were to reach our link, it would be disrupted."
Victor nodded "I vaguely remember being hit by a bolt of lightning. Must've been a weather controller or something like that. The disruption from the lightning must have caused a data surge, sending the neural equivalent of my mind and yours into this place."
"Now you understand."
"So how do we get out of here?"
"I'm still trying to figure that out."
Victor closed his eyes, falling back into his thoughts. They were brought here by a disruption of their neural link. If that was the case, then it would follow that reconnecting that link would allow them to return to where they belonged. The question was, how would they reestablish that link? Then inspiration struck him.
"We need to reboot."
Alex frowned "Why?"
"Simple" Victor said "I'm still asleep."
Realization dawned on the neon eyed android "and when you sleep, the neural connection between us is normally broken. That's why you have normal dreams." Alex grinned "And I never have any"
Victor nodded "When we sleep, we are two separate minds, Victor and Alex."
"But when you wake" Alex added "We are one and the same."
"Exactly" Victor affirmed "The reboot is what brings you and me together. It's our minds finding each other and restarting the information cycle."
"So how are we going to reboot?" Alex inquired, eagerness very apparent in his neon blue eyes.
"I…have no idea" Victor admitted "I've only been in a mindscape once before. I don't really know how anything works in them."
At this, Alex dampened, but only for a moment. He then placed a hand under his chin, holding it up with his other arm just beneath it. Victor could almost see the gears turning in his head as the slender android began to ponder. Victor remained silent as Alex continued to think, mesmerized by the sheer focus the android was pouring into this endeavor. Abruptly, Alex broke his stance, raising his head just enough for Victor to see his look of triumph.
"That's it" Alex exclaimed "It's so simple. Why didn't I think of it before?"
"You gonna let me in on your little plan or what?"
Alex said nothing, instead replying with an action. He dashed toward Victor.
"What are you-" the athlete started as Alex charged full bore into him. Yet, Victor was not knocked off of his feet. He didn't even feel Alex's impact. The droid had fazed into him. Immediately, he realized something was different. Looking down, he saw that his robotic half was within him once more. From his white feet, to his gauntlet like arms, to his ominous red eye. He was Cyborg once more. In that moment, he realized what he had to do.
"Time to wake up"
He closed his eyes once more, slowing his breaths, relaxing. He could feel mechanical parts doing same, slowing down, easing into a restful pace. Suddenly the darkness was interrupted by bold yellow letters:
System restart
3
2
1
In moments that seemed like eternities, Cyborg heard and recognized the sound of elctronics and…
"Breathing? Since when is it ever quiet enough to hear that in the tower?"
He opened his eyes to see a familiar face hovering over him. It still surprised him, despite the familiarity. His eye widened.
"Raven?"
It was brief. For only an instant, Cyborg caught an expression of relief on that pale droll face.
"Good to see you're awake" She said simply "You've been down for awhile now."
"Where are the others?"
"Asleep"
"Guess BB couldn't stay up this long could he?"
"He stayed here with you for the first two weeks." She smirked "He needed shower and some rest so I took over."
"I've been down that long?"
"That was some blast you took. I surprised you're up now."
Even with her ability to conceal emotion, Cyborg could see Raven was hiding something, or at least trying not to ask something. The half-metal hero had a pretty good idea what it was.
"Alex says hi."
"So you did meet him" Raven said relief flashing briefly across her visage "Wasn't too much of a shock I hope"
"Nah" Cyborg replied "After all, he's just another side of me." He chuckled "Rainbow Rae"
"You're going to hurt for that."
Cyborg raised his hands in mock defense "Alex made me do it"
