Okay, there are two endings for this story...let the first ending start!

Five minutes later Voldiegoldie was still singing the rhyme loudly, but Luna had stopped. Harry and Ginny had resumed making-out behind the oak tree, Ron and Luna were behind another tree, Hermione and BamBam had stuffed their ears with tree leaves (or branches in BamBam's case), while Neville had sat dead smack in front of Voldiegoldie entranced by the very bad singing.

"MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB -" Voldiegoldie as 'singing' when a loud rustling interrupted him. "What was that? How dare they interrupt my wonderful singing?" he raged as the rustling came closer. It got closer and closer, until a small man wearing wizards robes and a small bowling hat jumped out, "Who is that?"

"What in the blazes is the meaning of this?" asked the small man gesturing towards Voldiegoldie who was hugging BamBam's leg crying. When nobody answered, he continued, "I am Professor Cornelius Fudge, headmaster of Hogwarts, school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and I demand an explanation!" he bellowed and peered at Voldiegoldie "Is THAT Voldemort?"

"MY FUCKING NAME IS VOLDIEGOLDIE! How many of you stupid wizards do I need to tell? It's NOT hard!" Voldiegoldie raged at fudge, who was backing away form the spitting creature, who had whipped out his wand, "Fucking hell! AVADA KEDAVRA!"

"YOU did it again! Can you not go ONE-FUCKING-DAY without murdering one person? I NEVER want to fucking see you again! You told me YOU CHANGED!" BamBam started to scream at Voldiegoldie and shook him off his leg "NO! Voldiegoldie, NO MORE! I am sick of your shit!" he bellowed and stormed out of the clearing.

"BamBam, NO! I love you! Please don't leave me again. I'll find you! I always do!" Voldiegoldie pleaded with the gigantic spider, while running after his departing body, "I'm so sorry! I'll never do it again!"

"You always do it again Voldemort! YOU will NEVER change!" BamBam yelled over his shoulder.

"See what you people did! I should fucking kill you know! But I won't because my gorgeous BamBam won't like it. It will show him how much I love him!" Voldiegoldie yelled enraged at the six-faces before him that were only slightly paying attention.

"Voldiegoldie?" Hermione nervously asked, in between nervously biting her nails.

"WHAT?" Voldiegoldie bellowed at her.

"That's what made you change. You have feelings now" she continued.

"I just want my BamBam back" Voldiegoldie cried while hugging the nearest tree, "I miss him"

Suddenly another bout of loud rustling caught the attention of Voldiegoldie. This time a tall, thin and bony woman wearing a shiny green pointy hat emerged. "Mr Potter! Miss Weasley! Pull yourselves apart! Same for you two!" the woman commanded while pointing at the two couples.

"Sorry Professor McGonagall!" all six students murmured as they hung their heads in shame.

"WHAT is that?" she asked to group while pointing at the mass of fudge on the ground.

"The question should be 'Who is that?' and apparently that is the headmaster. I'm afraid that I didn't catch his name!" Voldiegoldie replied.

"Is he dead? Did you kill the headmaster? YOU have to be crazy!" screamed McGonagall.

"Um, yeah! That sounds about right!" Voldiegoldie happily exclaimed and started to sing as he walked away. "Voldiegoldie, Voldiegoldie, you're my number one, Voldiiieeegollldddieee. No more mass-muggle-murders, just some spider-loving (when I can find him!) . . ."

As Voldiegoldie started to fade into the distance, McGonagall started to laugh "What the hell was all that about?"

"Well . . ." all six students started until she interrupted

"Let's just forget this ever happened"

That was the first ending...review and then read the second...Please!

Mwah

Queen of the Scoubies