We finished eating and I began to clean the dishes from the small table we had been sitting at while Kakashi began to run the water in the sink. I walked over and set the dishes down, grabbing onto his arm as he washed. His mask was still off of his face and he looked down at me as his arm moved, washing one of the plates I had set down. It was so calming. Here we were, doing normal household chores together like normal people. His smile was so beautiful and I was so happy that it was I who brought it too his face.
I rested my head against his arm as he finished up the last dish and turned off the water. I reached up towards his face as he turned to me and wrapped my hand around the back of his neck, pulling him down to my face and initiating a kiss. We pulled away from each other, catching our breath, and I felt the words drip from my mouth without hesitation.
"I love you, Kakashi." Those three words, ones that he had said to me in letters and in person, the ones that I had never said back. I had finally told him that I loved him.
A small voice in my head begged for me to stop. That this was too fast. That it wasn't right. That voice that I had been keeping locked down for the last day resurfaced ever so slighlty, making me doubt for only a moment. Was this too fast? Was I being pressured into this, in fear that he wouldn't let me leave? That he would snap?
"I love you too, My Dove." He gave his signature closed eye smile and leaned down again, nuzzling his face into my neck and pulling his fingers through my hair. "God, I love you so much."
I let out a satisfied sigh as he pulled me closer against him, not letting the voice try and talk me out of my choices. Not when I had come this far.
I gave a small yelp when his large hands reached my thighs, pulling me up. I instinctively wrapped my legs around him and he began to walk towards the living room. It was the first time I had seen it. There was one long couch and a tv, one wall was lined with more bookshelves, and the other had a small table that had two pictures on it. I looked at them as we passed. One was Kakashi and three younger people. I realized they were probably the ones that he was training, based on their descriptions he had given. The other was a picture that had an older, yellow haired man standing over three others, one obviously a young Kakashi.
"You were a cute kid, Kashi." I said with a slight giggle.
I scanned the bookshelves that were along the opposite wall, this one had been filled with movies, knicknacks, and more books. A small tablet caught my eye, a memorial stone. It was along the top shelf and even from our spot on the couch I could read the name inscribed on the front. Sakumo Hatake. I remembered Kakashi telling me of the things that he had gone through and felt slightly bad, as I couldn't remember if his father had come up. I sat staring at it, trying to remember the conversation, or more like the monologue on Kakashi's part. At that point I still had been trying to block him out, hadn't wanted anything to do with him, or so I thought, and hadn't tried to pay too much attention. Now I only felt bad that I hadn't and sat wondering how to bring up the subject again.
I wanted to know about him, to understand him, to know his secrets like he knew me. But that would come in time, I didn't want to push him too far too fast.
Why? Because I was afraid?
I shook my head and waited for him to stop shuffling in his seat before I threw my legs over his lap and leaned to the side against the back of the couch, staring at his face. I took in the features of his face, now even more beautiful in the light that shone through the open window. The dim light of the sunset only lit up his features and shone off of his hair, making it seem almost like starlight. He opened his mouth as if he were about to speak but was cut off by his phone ringing in the other room, where he had left it sitting on his nightstand. I pulled my legs off of him as he threw his head back and gave a deep chuckle, hating the interuption.
"It's alright,"
"I'll only be a moment," He said as he got up out of his seat.
His soft footsteps were heard all the way to the end of the hallway and then the ringing of the phone stopped. I could hear his voice as he answered, and then his footsteps as he made his way back to the living room. I watched as his eyes looked at me, his face full of an unreadable emotion, and fear settled into my gut. I didn't know what he was thinking, I didn't know what he was about to do.
"She's gone?" He asked the person on the other end of the phone.
Who was the girl he was talking about and why did the mention of her make him act this way? Why did the look in his eyes make me so frightened?
"Yamato, she's not gone, I assure you. She is perfectly safe."
I couldn't hear the person on the other end of the line, but Kakashi kept at convincing them that this mystery girl was in no way in any sort of danger. He wouldn't say how he knew, only that he did, and he expected that to be the end of the conversation. The way in which he kept answering not only made me find him slightly suspicious, but I assumed made Detective Yamato suspicious of him as well.
"Her stalker seems to have left her alone now Yamato-" He began to speak but was apparantly cut off by the detective.
"I've got to go now, I'm a little busy at the moment." He spoke again as he pulled the phone away from his face and hit the end call button.
He had been talking about me. It had been what, three days now? Surely someone had to have noticed that I hadn't been home, that I hadn't gone anywhere, spoken to anybody. That there had been no activity there whatsoever. I thought of my mother and how she had probably filed a missing persons report as soon as she had realized.
They believed that I had been kidnapped. And while that had been true at first, how was I going to explain falling off the face of the earth for three days? To most people, that wouldn't bee too big of a deal to come back from, but it was a little different in my case. I had a known stalker who was getting more and more bold. The police would be suspicious of anything. And Kakashi knew that better than anyone. I saw his mind working as he thought of a plan, any sort of excuse for what had happened.
"Kakashi, all of the letters are still at my house," I began to say to him, a small sliver of hope in my tone as I continued.
Hope?
"And you began to sign your name on the latest ones. If they looked through there, they would know exactly-"
His face darkened, the realization that this wouldn't be as easy as he had once hoped. Yamato was most likely already suspicious of Kakashi and after that phone call, and if they had been inside my house, they would know exactly where to look to find me. His face turned towards the direction of the door only moments before a knock could be heard. Kakashi walked towards it and then turned towards me, as if debating on what to do next.
"Kakashi, I know your home!" A voice yelled from the other side.
He pulled his mask up and then reached for the door, unlocking it and pulling it open as I slipped into the hallway, hiding myself from whoever was the other side.
"Yamato you shouldn't be-" Kakashi started. I could hear the malice in his tone. He couldn't contain the hatred he felt for the brown haired man any longer for interupting his evening.
I heard the sound of two sets of feet walking farther into the living area and I guessed that Yamato had forced his way into the apartment. I heard as Kakashi closed the door behind him and I could picture the way that he was staring at Yamato at that very moment.
"Please tell me you didn't do anything stupid, Kakashi. I can't cover for you again," Yamato said as he paced around the living area.
Again? What did Yamato mean when he said again? Had the other man known about his secret the whole time? Or was this not the first occurance? Was I not as special as I had thought up until only a moment before?
"I didn't think it would be you, I tried to believe it wouldn't be. But then we got a call that she was gone and we had to go through her house. I found the letters." I heard the sound of paper flying, and I assumed that he had brought them with him. "I can't believe you would be so stupid as to sign your name! Is she here? Do you still have her locked up? Please, at least tell me she's still alive this time."
Shock coursed through my body, and I stood there silently. I wanted this to all be a dream. I didn't want what this man was saying to be true. There had been at least one other before me. And Kakashi had... killed her?
I took a few steps back towards the bedroom and then stopped. I didn't want to be farther in the apartment, farther away from the door. From freedom. The floorboards creaked as I did so, and I heard Kakashi as he told Yamato to not go that way, pressumably towards me. He rounded the corner that I had been hiding behind and when he laid his eyes on me, I wanted to burst into tears, and I didn't even know why. Kakashi was right on his heels, rounding the corner just after he did.
"I know he's been keeping you here, you can leave now." Yamato stepped forward, reaching his hand out for my own.
Did I want to go? I loved him, didn't I? I shook my head at the other man, not reaching for his outstretched hand.
"I know this isn't what you want. Your mind is just trying to survive, playing along so he doesn't lash out. You don't have to stay here anymore." He pleaded.
Was this all a lie? Was I so afraid that I was playing along? I knew some of the things that he had done before, and Yamato had told me more. I looked to Yamato and he pushed his hand farther, waiting for me to reach out and take it. I slowly started to reach for him, my hand moving ever so slightly from my side. And Kakashi saw.
"I told you, you shouldn't have come here Yamato."
My eyes shot to look at Kakashi behind the brown haired man and in a flash Yamato was on the ground and Kakashi was on top of him, throing punch after punch into the mans face.
"No one is going to keep me from her Yamato. Not even you, old friend." He said as he continued to beat the man. His eyes were filled with hatred and a look was on Kakashi's face that I had never seen before. His eyes seemed to almost glow red and his mask had slipped down, revealing the bottom half of his face. A smile was etched into his features, as if he enjoyed the fact that he was beating this man until his breath stopped.
There was so much blood that I couln't even recognize him anymore. It was at that point that I knew Yamato had been right. I had been scared. I had known that I had nowhere to go and Kakashi would follow. He would never leave me alone. I was afraid of this reaction. This Kakashi right here was different from the one that I had grown to like, maybe even possibly love. But this side to him, this side would always be there, stopping me from giving myself to him. And now that he was distracted would be my only chance to run.
And god help me if Kakashi caught up.
I ran past him, almost slipping on the blood that had begun to pool under neath Yamato's head. I ran until I go to the front door, my hand extended out, so close to the doorknob. So close to running out and being free. I didn't know where I was going to go, but I knew I had to run. Run until my lungs ached and then run some more.
My hand reached the knob and turned. A large hand slammed against the door, Kakashi's strong arm keeping me from opening it.
"Why are you running Dove? I did this for us, so we wouldn't have to be apart. Please don't be afraid Love," His voice was flat, as if there was no emotion in this man whatsoever.
I felt my head shake and I couldn't even begin to think of words to say. I felt his hand move up my side and sit comfortably around my neck. Hot blood was still smeared on them and I could feel as it dripped down my collarbone.
"You weren't going to run, were you Love? You wouldn't do that to me would you?" He asked, his grip tightening around my throat, constricting my breath.
I shook my head side to side, trying to speak, but it just came out as quiet gasps for air.
"He really shouldn't have done that. I've worked so hard to make you love me, and then he comes in and thinks he can just take you away from me? And you were going to let him! You were going to go with him! Do you even really care about me?!"
I shook my head again and pried at his hands with my nails, hoping that his grip would loosen, but he only squeezed harder. I started to see stars and I could feel my heart racing as my knees began to shake and give out.
"Answer me!"
"I-" That was all that I could get out before his hands left my neck and I fell to the floor. Sobs fell out of me as I tried to catch my breath. I still couldn't see and there was no way that I was getting onto my legs to run. My hand reached up to where his had been around my neck as I continued to cry, my body not knowing what else to do.
As my vision began to clear, I looked up to see Kakashi squating infront of me. I tried to crawl back, but I still couldn't move.
"Don't cry, Love. Please. I would never hurt you," He said. He reached out and ran his hands through my hair and then cupped the side of my face. "I love you, my Dove. My Darling Dove. Nothing will ever keep us apart. I've done so much for you, can't you see that?"
His mood had completely shifted, and I couldn't take it anymore. The fear would never go away, and I could only pretend for so long. I began to feel my legs again and used them to push me away from him, making little progress before I heard him give a sigh and then stand up.
"No..." I begged. "Please don't, I swear I wasn't going to leave!" I continued to make little progress as he just stood there, watching. He gave me a few more seconds and then walked over, reaching me in only two steps.
I felt one of his hands reach around and cover my mouth, keeping me from screaming out. The other reached under my waist and pulled me up off the ground.
"You're not going to get away from me that easy, bitch. I've risked everything for you, and your not going to just throw it all away." He said.
I felt my body give out as he dragged me towards the bedroom door, and I stopped fighting. I could still feel the tears falling down my cheeks and my hands weakly tried to push his hand off of my waist. I didn't want to feel him near me, not now, not ever. I had given myself to this man out of fear, out of wanting to feel loved. I had forced myself to believe that if I did everything he wanted, that I could make myself like it. I had, when he was kind.
I had allowed myself to look past this part. To look past the fact that this sort of behavior is the kind that you cant change, that you can never get rid of. That I would never be allowed to leave, to be free from.
"Now you stay in here and be good while I go clean up your mess out there." He said as he turned away.
The door closed and I heard the sound of those locks, all of them turning and clicking into place, holding me captive once again.
