After spending a couple of hours in deep meditation, she had made her decision. Standing to her feet, Arella began to pack. Leaving was the best course of action. Of course, she didn't want to leave, but things were different. Her relationship with Raven was just as strained as before, if not more so. The only thing they had in common was the pain of their past. Arella was pretty sure her presence was only causing more heartache for her daughter. Raven had been through enough.
Arella sniffed as tears silently rolled down her cheeks. Should she say good-bye to her daughter, or would it be better to leave a note? Plopping down onto the bed with a sigh, Arella mentally ran through her plan once more. Was running away really a good idea? "So, it's true," a deep voice made her jump. Opening her eyes, Arella was surprised to see Bruce casually leaning against the doorframe. "Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye to Raven?"
"I don't know," Arella answered as she wiped her tears away. She gave Bruce a broken look that made his heart twist in his chest. "I don't know what I was thinking…coming here," she cried.
"You wanted to see your daughter," Bruce replied.
"I think I'm doing more harm than good," she said as she pulled her knees to her chest. "She was taken from me on her first birthday," Arella continued, looking down at her knees. "I had to watch her grow through a tv screen." Arella felt a dip in the bed and looked up to see Bruce sitting a few feet from her. "My daughter lived a mile away from me, and I had to watch someone else raise her." Arella hugged herself comfortingly. "We didn't meet again until she was 7, and by then, she had no idea who I was. She'd only seen photos of me, and there weren't many." Arella closed her eyes as her mind went back to that day. "She walked out of the temple, and all I wanted to do was run to her, throw my arms around her, and give her the biggest hug. But the way she looked at me…she showed emotion at all. I was nothing but another being in her eyes." Bruce said nothing, continuing to listen to the brokenhearted woman. "But it wasn't all bad," Arella muttered. "Things were going so well; it was so easy to forget who her father was and what she was destined to do. But…" Arella's voice trailed off as she stared into nothingness. "I don't know what I was expecting when I returned," she said. "Maybe I thought this hole in my chest would finally be filled, or that the nightmares would stop, or that I'd finally be able to tell my daughter how much I love her. Maybe even apologize for not being better or stronger or…" Arella took a shaky breath.
"Raven knows that you did your best, Arella," Bruce spoke softly, surprising even himself. "And she knows you love her."
"You can't possibly know that," Arella scoffed, giving him a dry look.
"Actually," Bruce said the word slowly as he pointed to the door. Arella followed his finger and gasped. Dick and Raven were standing in the doorway, taking in the scene in front of them. "You love me, but you were going to leave without saying goodbye?" Raven accused.
"I'll let you talk," Bruce stood to his feet before walking out the door. Dick gave Raven a tender kiss on the top of her head before following Bruce. "I don't understand," Raven looked at the packed suitcase, "why are you leaving?"
"I don't know," Arella answered honestly, "I just…it feels like I'm intruding on your life."
"No," Raven shook her head as tears gathered in her eyes.
"I don't want to give you another reason to feel sad."
"Your leaving would make me sad," Raven said as she slowly approached her mom.
"I don't want- "
"I'm not mad at you," Raven cried, "I'm mad at myself."
"Why?" Arella asked, thoroughly confused.
"Because I'm the reason your life is the way it is," Raven mumbled.
"Wait…what?"
"If I hadn't opened that portal- "
"Raven," Arella stood to her feet, holding her hand up to stop her daughter from continuing.
"If I hadn't been born or even existed- "
"Raven- "
"You would be happy- "
"Raven, stop!" Arella grabbed her daughter's hands. "Is that what you think?" she asked her daughter in horror. Raven nodded silently. "Raven, that's not true."
"But- "
"No, listen to me," Arella said. "While I was pregnant with you, I will admit, I was very angry. I was angry at myself for blindly, stupidly, joining a cult I knew nothing about; and yes, there were times when I would glare angrily at my stomach and wish you out of me. Those first few days on Azarath were hard, and I probably should have been put on suicide watch; but Azar and Terry were a big help.
"And then you were born," Arella continued as fresh tears appeared in her eyes. "Everyone was expecting a boy, but then you came out. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. You were so tiny; you had these large, round purple eyes. I looked at you and knew I would never love anyone or anything as much as you. You were so precious to me.
"The day I had to let you go was the worst day of my life. It more than…than what Trigon did to me," Arella finished slowly. "Azar and the monks warned me not to get too attached, but I didn't listen. How could I? I had never planned on children, but you were such a joy to me. You were so precious.
"I loved your baby talk, the way you would stick your entire foot in your mouth when I changed your diaper, and how loud you cried when you were hungry or bored," Arella gave her daughter a watery smile. "I didn't know what real heartache was until I had to leave you with the monks. I was so depressed after. I could only watch you through a screen. It wasn't fair, but it was necessary.
"And then the day finally came when I could see you in real life. I was so excited. You walked down the stairs in your little leotard and cape, and you were the cutest thing I had ever seen," Arella nearly squealed in delight. "I wanted to pull you close and never let you go."
"That would not have been prudent," Raven chuckled through her own silent tears.
"I know," Arella agreed with a big smile. "It's a good thing I didn't. You would have probably thrown me half-way to the piazza. Accidentally, of course." Raven nodded in agreement. "Raven, I have never once blamed you for any of it. Never. You were a child forced to grow up too soon."
"But if I hadn't- "
"Disobeying Azar and me was the most normal thing you could have ever done. Yes, it sucked that it led to Trigon's appearance; but you finally behaved like a teenager. I was in pain, I was terrified, but I had never been more hopeful," Arella placed a comforting hand on Raven's cheek.
"How did that make you hopeful?" Raven questioned.
"In my eyes, it was the first time you did something so human. You looked so apologetic and emotional. For first time in a long time, it hit me that you were not your father…and you would never be like him." Tears filled Raven's eyes. "Raven, I love you," Arella said, looking her daughter in the eye.
Overcome with emotion, Raven pulled her mother into a tight hug and cried. "Don't go," Raven hiccupped through her tears, "I want you here. With me. I don't want to miss you anymore. I don't want…" her voice trailed off as violent cries left her body.
"I'm sorry," Arella cried also, "I'm so sorry I was going to leave. I won't leave you. I won't."
Batman, Nightwing, and Red Hood returned from patrol; and there was still no sign of either Raven or her mother. "Should we go check on them?" Dick asked as he removed his mask.
"I assure you, Master Dick, that all is quite well," Alfred spoke as he entered the cave. "Their crying ceased hours ago. I made soup and grilled cheese sandwiches which they both ate while making lighthearted, teasing comments to each other. They had some tea, and I believe they are now both fast asleep."
"Oh," Dick replied.
"I told you two that listening was all you needed to do," Alfred eyed both Bruce and Dick.
"Do you think Raven's mom would go for a younger man?" Jason asked.
"A younger man, yes," Alfred said, "a man-child who still cannot properly separate his delicates from his darks – to that I would have to give a definite 'no'."
"The passive aggressiveness is duly noted," Jason stated dryly.
(1 year later)
Raven fastened the last button on her mother's dress before saying, "When I asked you to stay, it was because I wanted my mother. I wasn't expecting you to marry my boyfriend's foster dad, nor did I expect you to get pregnant by him." Arella turned to her daughter with a raised brow. Raven immediately looked down at her mother's subtle baby bump. "Raven," Arella said, "I didn't just wake up and decide to sleep with Bruce."
"It feels like it," Raven mumbled. Arella chuckled before placing a gentle kiss on her daughter's cheek. "When did you even find the time to date?" Raven asked. "When you weren't on Earth, you were on Azarath. And when you weren't on Azarath, you were at the Tower with me."
"Raven, dear, it's called texting."
"Mom, you don't get pregnant from texting. When did you two even have the time to - no!" Raven gasped. "All those times you were on Azarath, were you on Azarath?"
"Yes," Arella defended herself. "I was always on Azarath." Her face then turned beet red. "Well, I always returned to Azarath," Arella added sheepishly.
"Mom," Raven groaned.
"What?" Arella blushed. "Bruce was really sweet the first time we- "
"No," Raven protested, shaking her head violently, "I never want to know about the sex life between you and Bruce Wayne. I…just…no. No."
"Raven," Arella reached for her daughter's hands. "I am really happy. Can't you at least pretend to be happy for me?"
"Mom," Raven sighed, "I am happy for you. I just never, not in one million years would have thought you would have found happiness with Bruce Wayne." Arella chuckled. "Never," Raven continued, "the thought did not cross my mind at all."
"Well," Arella huffed, "glad I could surprise you. Now, tell me, how do I look?" Raven studied her mother intently. Arella wore a white V-neck, crepe sheath wedding dress with long sleeves made from lace. Her long, black hair was pinned back with a ballerina veil. "Mom," Raven said, "you look absolutely gorgeous. Too good for Bruce Wayne." Arella rolled her eyes. "Thanks," Arella stated dryly, giving her daughter's hands a gentle squeeze. "You ready?" Arella linked her arm with her daughter's.
"Ready," Raven smiled, sensing her mother's contentment and joy.
"You survived Trigon," Arella added before leaving the ready room, "you can survive your mother marrying a multi-billionaire."
"Huh!" Raven scoffed with an eye, "We will see."
"Yes, we will."
