I am sooooo incredibly sorry for how long it took for me to write this! First, I was having trouble doing Maureen's thoughts cause I made her so blonde, and then the site wouldn't let me log in! But anyway, it's here now.
Disclaimer - Still don't own RENT.
"ROGER! OPEN YOUR DOOR OR I'M GOING TO KNOCK IT DOWN! ROGER!"
It had been going on for almost five minutes now, Maureen's banging. Mark hadn't moved from his spot on the couch. If he was lucky, Maureen just might give up, leaving him alone again until Roger got back, if he ever did come back from Mimi's. He'd like that, an evening without Roger's pathetic attempts at cheering him up. Well, except for Friday, Friday hadn't been too bad.
"Maureen?" Roger's voice came from the hallway. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to get you to answer the damn door!"
Mimi's laughter was heard as a key turned in the lock.
But before anyone could get inside, Mark was back in the safety of his room.
Roger pulled out his key and swung back the door to the loft.
"Finally," Maureen said, "I've been banging for hours!" she explained, showing him her red knuckles.
"Where's everyone else?" Roger asked.
"I've got my game!" she said excitedly, oblivious to his new question.
It's perfect! I actually picked it with you in mind, Roger…
"Great!" Mimi said, leading the way into the loft and sitting down on the couch. "So, what is it?"
Oh, what an opportunity for drama!
"Well, after endless hours of painstaking research…" she began.
"I knew it was a mistake picking her…" Roger whispered to Mimi while Maureen continued her speech.
"Oh, come on, this idea is starting to work, give her a chance!" Mimi hissed back.
"I doubt she'll be done here by Tuesday, and it's not like-"
"And even though no one seems to be listening, I would very much like to point out that I am not deaf, so when my audience is whispering, especially when it is only two people, I can usually notice it." Maureen said loudly.
Gotcha.
"Now, if you had been paying attention, you would know that-"
"-you enjoy elaborating on nothing?" Roger offered.
Screw you!
"You guys, please!" Mimi said, "Maureen, just tell us your game, and Roger, shut up."
Roger frowned and sank deeper into the couch.
"Okay, my game is…Truth or Dare!" Maureen squealed, clapping her hands together in excitement.
"That's awesome!" Mimi exclaimed.
"Are you kidding me?" asked Roger, "You think Mark is going to want to play Truth or Dare?"
"Well, he can go last." Maureen said.
"Yeah, after he's laughed a bit…" Mimi added.
"Maureen, if that works I'll – I'll – cut off my hair!"
"No!" Mimi gasped, "You can't!"
Maureen giggled. "I'm sorry Mimi, but Roger could very well be bald by tomorrow! My idea is the best!"
Meanwhile, Roger looked pained, "Fine, I guess I could give it a chance…" he mumbled, running a hand through his hair.
"Thank God!"
"Hey, are you saying you wouldn't like me anymore if I was bald?"
"Sorry, but it's definitely a plus…"
"Ouch, my pride."
"Awww," Mimi said, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.
Maureen gagged. Funny, I seem to remember an extremely bald landlord…
Just then, the loft door swung back presenting Joanne and Collins.
"Finally! We've been waiting for you!" Maureen told them.
Yes, it's been so boring here without you.
"Sorry, Mo," Collins said, "we were both working. You know, making money."
Roger scoffed.
"Whatever, it's time to begin!" she said, gesturing to the couch.
"Okay," Joanne began, sitting gingerly on the edge of a threadbare chair. "Since Roger had to get Mark last week, it only makes sense that Maureen has to do it this week."
"You act like it's such a burden," Mimi commented.
"Well, Mark's pretty stubborn."
"Whatever," Maureen said, "watch and learn!" She skipped back to Mark's room and threw open the door. "MARKIE!"
He sat bolt upright, caught sight of Maureen, groaned, and rolled over onto his stomach with his face in the pillow.
How cute is that?
"C'mon, Mark!" she said, jumping onto the bed to sit cross-legged next to him. "Join the party!"
"No, thanks."
"Pleeeeeeeeeease!" He didn't budge. With a mischievous grin, she shoved her hands under his stomach and began to tickle him.
"No, Maureen, stop it!" He groaned, trying not to laugh. Maureen, on the other hand, was cracking up. He attempted to block her hands from his middle, but she was surprisingly persistent. "Maureen! Maureen, I can't breathe! Stop! Get off me! MAUREEN!"
"What the hell is going on in here!" Joanne asked from the doorway.
Whoops.
"Nothing!" Mark answered quickly, pushing off his attacker and standing up.
Joanne looked from Maureen to Mark and back again, sighed, and left, gesturing for them to follow her.
Mark, slightly shook up by Maureen's persuasion tactics, followed the tickle monster into the living room and took a seat.
"Alright, uh…" said Collins, sensing the tension between the three friends (he was very good at those sorts of things) and attempted to fill the uncomfortable silence. "Maureen says she's got the perfect game!"
"I do!" she said happily. Well, he doesn't look too disappointed… When nobody asked, she continued. "Truth or Dare!" she practically screamed.
Mark almost laughed but caught himself halfway, so it sounded more like a rather amused hiccup. No one seemed to notice, because Maureen had already started talking again.
"So I think Roger should start, and we'll go clockwise and end with Mark. Then, we'll start over again and be like a little circle!"
"You can ask anyone 'Truth or Dare?' right?" Mimi asked.
"Yep, it should be fun!"
"Alright…" Roger said, looking around the circle with a sarcastic confused-frown on his face. "I pick… Mimi!"
Whoa, shocker there.
"Okay!" she said, sitting a little taller.
"Truth or Dare?"
"Umm… truth!"
"Let's see…" Roger said, looking around the loft for inspiration. "Last Christmas Eve when you said 'Benny wasn't any…' what were you going to say?"
"You didn't know?"
"No."
"Then why'd you say 'I know'?"
"Because – hey, this is your question, not mine. You have to answer."
"Fine! I was going to say 'Benny wasn't any problem'."
"Really? That was all?" Roger asked, astounded.
"Yeah,"
"I thought you were going to say something like 'Benny wasn't anything in bed', and that would totally ruin the moment."
"He's not." Maureen said. Everyone turned and looked at her in astonishment. "I'm kidding!" she said after a few seconds.
Nice save.
"Okay, next." Joanne directed after the laughter had died down.
"My turn," Collins said. "Now, who to pick… How about… Joanne?" He turned to face her. "You up to it?"
"Of course." She answered with a determined look on her face.
"Truth or dare?"
"Dare," she said without a moment's hesitation.
"Hmmm," he said, thinking. "I dare you to go out on the fire escape and yell what you told me about what you did when you were drunk last Tuesday."
Who drinks on Tuesday?
"What!" she yelled, "That's not fair! That's like a dare and a truth!"
"Actually," Mimi explained, "Since you've already told one of us, it's not a truth."
"But-but-"
"No but's," Maureen said, repeating her mother's favorite phrase, "This is Truth or Dare, and you picked dare, now do it."
Joanne finally stomped out the window and onto the fire escape, but took time before she made it there to give each and every one of them an extremely dirty look. As each foot clanked on the metal "balcony", the lawyer took a deep breath and prayed that no one she worked with was passing through.
"LAST TUESDAY I GOT DRU K AND MADE OUT WITH THE BARTENDER!" She climbed back in through the window and took her seat again, acting as if nothing had happened. Everyone remained silent and careful, scared of what their sensible friend might do after being forced to accept Collins' dare.
"Joanne," Collins said, a smile spreading across his face, "I think you forgot something…"
Joanne sighed and trudged to the fire escape. "AND HIS NAME WAS ROBERT!"
"WHAT!" Maureen exclaimed, "Robert? The guy I cheated on you with?"
"I was drunk!" she said, sitting down again.
"The Tango: Joanne," Mark muttered under his breath, speaking to no one in particular.
But Joanne heard him. "Oh, shut up!"
After a few more pointless truths and dares, it was Mark's turn.
"Uh…Maureen," Yessssssssss! "Truth or Dare?"
"Truth!"
"Okay, who was your first?"
"Roger," Four faces flicked to Roger with disbelief, who had apparently not been paying attention and was busy making out with Mimi.
Surprise, surprise.
"Roger! Did you really sleep with Maureen?" Joanne asked, her eyes wide.
"What?" he said, pulling away from Mimi. "Hell no!"
Maureen giggled. "Gotcha!"
"I hate you."
"Isn't there some sort of punishment for that?" Mimi asked, somewhat offended, "You know, lying?"
"Yeah!" Roger chimed in lamely.
"I'm pretty sure there is…" Joanne said, turning to her girlfriend.
"No way! I was just kidding!" Maureen said defensively. "Besides, it's my game; I get to make the rules!"
"No you don't!" Roger answered. "Let's make her drink the water from the faucet!"
The group grimaced at the thought of the dark thick substance found when anyone tried to use the sink.
"Don't you think that's a little harsh?" Mark asked tentatively.
I love you, Mark!
"No," Roger answered darkly.
"She won't do it anyway," Collins said doubtfully.
Hey, wait a minute!
"Yes I will!" Maureen yelled. "I'll do it!" and with that she stomped into the kitchen and began digging through the cabinets for a cup.
"Um, are you sure this is a good idea, Hun?" Joanne asked, "I mean, who knows what's in there?" but before she could get an answer, Maureen had filled a cup and brought it to her lips.
Let's just say that everyone within 10 miles went temporarily deaf.
"How could you make me do that!" Maureen asked, wiping her tongue with a towel.
"We didn't make you do anything!" Mimi said defensively.
"Yeah, and you got to give Mark some credit; it was pretty funny." Roger added.
"Asshole!"
"Children, children, please!" Collins said, attempting to break up the fight. "Don't make me send you to bed without supper!"
Maureen stuck her tongue out at Roger.
"Who's next?"
"It's me again," Roger said, looking around the circle. "Collins hasn't done much…"
Collins shrugged and waited for his cue.
"Truth or Dare?"
"Truth,"
"Uh," Roger said, out of ideas. "Is your refrigerator running?"
"I don't have a refrigerator,"
"Oh,"
Oh. My. God. And I'm the one who's retarded?
It was so pathetic it was funny, so they laughed. Soon enough, though, the not-funny-but-funny questions got annoying, and the truth and dare quality began to lose its flair, so they decided to call it a night.
"Who wants to go get drunk?" Collins asked, standing up and stretching.
Everyone but Joanne and Mark answered with a "Sure!" and began to put on their coats.
"Uh, I think I'll sit this one out…" Joanne said, "I, uh, don't want a…repeat."
Collins chuckled. "Alright. Mark, you coming?"
"No, thanks."
"Awwww, come on! Pleeeeeeeease?" Maureen begged, pouting.
"I guess one drink couldn't hurt…" he answered grudgingly and went to get his scarf.
That's right. I'm a genius.
I hate my endings. They suck.
Yes, I added a RHM (Roger Hair Moment) so I had to change the world to "movie".
Shoutout to all the lucky ducks that went to the tenth aniversary show in NY, I hate you.
"Oh shit! I forgot how fast you were!"
Funny stuff!
I'm debating whether or not to do Collins or Joanne next.
Thoughts?
