A/N: Sorry that it's been so long! A lot happened since I last updated. I got my first flame. ;; (It wasn't from this website, but it was this story.) It was pretty depressing, but Luciver helped me think positive! -beams- Thanks Luciver! I am now with Julin X against flamers! They're evil! If you want to rant and complain about your flames (if you have any) with me, PM me!
Oh, and guess what, on that same day I got my flameI saw my (now EX) boyfriend flirting with another girl, and FEEDING her french fries, and SHARING STRAWS! I was pretty upset and broke up with him... -growls and cries- He cheated on me! WAAAAA!
Okay, back to the story, this chapter has more flashbacks in it. I ask you that if you realize what exactly happened before I reveal it to please not say it in your review. You'll spoil it for everyone else who reads the reviews. I'll have to delete it if you do, and I don't want to do that!PM me if you really want to tell me your guess, kay? Thank you in advance!
NOTES (PLEASE READ!): I forgot to mention this but, this is according to the anime. I am aware that Shu's dad showed up in the manga, but I go according to the anime on this one. Also, someone mentioned that it was weird that Yuki didn't notice that Shuichi was crying in the other room earlier. He was deep in thought in his study when it happened, so he had no clue. Also, people are wondering why Yuki wasn't worried about Shu meeting his dad. He really thinks it's because his dad disowned him or something once Shuichi 'came out of the closet'. So that's why he doesn't suspect anything, YET.
Oh, and does anyone know where you can submit original stories? Please tell me if you know any websites for teens to post their originals in your review. (or PM me, it doesn't matter) And, as I asked before, what is a beta? (besides being a fish)
Disclamier: I don't own Gravitation. If I did, I'd just have toget killed the instant I recieved it because it would be too good to be true.
Chapter 4: Returning Hatred
Shuichi quickly got as far away from his dad as possible. He power-walked all the way down the block with a fearful look in his eyes. He ignored all the sights and sounds that he usually stopped to admire. He wanted to get home, now. He had to. It was the only place where he was safe.
Home. Shuichi let a smile escape him. He felt happy that Yuki's apartment was now his 'home'. It made him feel happy, and safe. At home, his dad couldn't visit him, couldn't talk to him. Shuichi didn't have to listen to his dad's voice. He didn't have to hear or see his dad. When he was with Yuki, his dad was only an illusion.
He saw the apartment and rushed inside, fumbling with the keys. When the door opened, he practically leaped for joy. He contained himself from yelling, "Tadaima!" because it was very late. If Yuki was sleeping (which he doubted) or someone else was, he might wake them up.
Shuichi stumbled down on to the couch. He yawned and stretched. He had just visited his father, the person who sent chills down his spine. 'It had been alright' he thought. Nothing bad happened. It was just a peaceful conversation between a father and a son. But then why was Shuichi still shaking? Everything started to spin slowly in the room. It was like a twister of fog.
'It's fine' he thought. But something at the back of his mind was nagging him. First of, he couldn't believe that he saw his father again, after what he did. It was very creepy, to actually see his dad standing there, instead of a shadow that he mistook for his father. It was like a nightmare, only he couldn't wake up. It was still sinking in.
"Ritsuka, you're so kind…" Shuichi whispered. He cuddled up against the boy next to him, and smiled. "How can I ever repay you for being so nice to me?" There was a chuckle coming from the boy's mouth. The boy ruffled Shuichi's hair affectionately.
"I don't need repayment" Ritsuka insisted. "You're kind to me, and you're my friend. We're even, and I wouldn't even care if we weren't. It doesn't matter." He smiled happily at Shuichi. "Hey, do you have any gum?" he asked innocently. Shuichi slapped him on the head playfully.
"Baka, you're always asking me for gum!" Shuichi yelled. "Can't you get your own? It's like you're the human gum-ball machine or something! Sheesh!" He paused and watched Ritsuka's unfazed expression. "Why would I have gum in the first place? And why do you always ask me anyway?"
"Because I like seeing you get annoyed" Ritsuka explained with a grin. "It's quite entertaining. I might have to sell you to some TV network to get money for gum." He chuckled as Shuichi pounced on him.
"Ritsuka, you meanie!" Shuichi chided. "You're not supposed to sell your friends to TV networks! Especially when they're younger!" Shuichi saw Ritsuka collapse onto the ground with laughter. He happily joined his friend.
'Ritsuka…' Shuichi thought. 'No…' He covered his eyes and tried to block out the memories, tried to think of something else. Ritsuka always reminded him of hatred. And hatred was something that he didn't like to think about.
Hatred. It was a strong word, if used correctly. Shuichi knew that many people would kid around and tell their friends that they 'hated' them. That wasn't hatred. That was love, love that could surpass jokes and teasing.
When Yuki said, "I hate you", did he really mean it? Shuichi hoped not. He couldn't tell whether Yuki meant it or not, and that bothered him. He groaned and collapsed on to the couch, closing his eyes. He still had his clothes on, but he didn't care. He didn't want to move. Everything was happening too fast for his liking, so he thought that if he stayed still, time would slow down.
"Promise you'll never leave me?" Shuichi asked Ritsuka as they sat on the lawn, looking up at the sky. Ritsuka nodded happily. He started to tickle Shuichi. "Uncle!" Shuichi cried through tears. "Uncle!" Ritsuka, obviously pleased with the response, stopped ticking Shuichi.
"I'll stay by your side until I die" Ritsuka vowed. "I swear on our friendship." He held out his hand and offered it to Shuichi. Shuichi hesitated. "Crosses don't count" Ritsuka added. Shuichi nodded and shook Ritsuka's hand
"Hey Ritsuka, where do clouds come from?" Shuichi asked. He pointed up to the fluffy white things in the sky. "And are they really made out of white cotton candy like everyone says?" Ritsuka slapped himself.
"No you idiot!" Ritsuka muttered. "Man, you're so stupid you're making me hit myself!" Shuichi blinked and tried to understand his friend.
"I don't get it" he admitted. "What do you mean?" Ritsuka sighed and explained where cloud came from, in great detail. With Shuichi's stupidity, it took a few hours to explain fully.
Shuichi didn't like hatred. It showed dislike to an extreme, where someone might even kill. It didn't sound nice when he said it, but he heard it so many times in his life, he should've been used to it. But he wasn't. He couldn't get used to hatred. He never understood why people hated each other.
But then he'd remember Ritsuka, and everything would come flooding back. He would fight the anger, anger so powerful that Shuichi knew it was hatred, in him and strengthen his fear. Usually, it worked. Now, however, it didn't work. It was probably because of all these flashbacks. He fought the hatred very hard for many years, and now it had finally reached its tip. But then again, the fear had reached its tip as well.
Shuichi denied that he felt such a strong, 'bad' feeling like hatred. He didn't want to hate anyone. He didn't want to feel so angry towards certain people. He didn't want to have the urge to kill someone. (He'd never do that because fear would get in the way) He just didn't want anything to do with those things.
Silence engulfed the house. Shuichi leaned up against the wall and slipped down. He sat there for awhile, absorbing the peace. He closed his eyes, and immediately regretted it. He was even in the back of Shuichi's eyelids!
Shuichi groaned and opened his eyes. He wondered where he mother was. 'She's probably in her room' he thought. 'It's better that way.' Suddenly, he heard a ruckus coming from the hall. He peered over and saw the knob turn. He winced as the door slowly opened.
"What are you doing, dad?" Shuichi asked timidly as his father walked inside the house. He gulped and looked up at his dad. His eyes widened in shock as giant, red eyes glared down at him. He shuddered and rushed into another room.
"Come here, Shu…" his dad whispered. "Come back, or I'll get angry…" A smirk appeared on his lips as Shuichi scrambled away. He loved this game. "Come on, I haven't got all night, Shu… Remember where we have to go?" There was no reply.
"Now, do you remember what happens when you disobey?" his dad chided. "Bad things happen to her… No, I stand corrected. I meant WORSE things…" Shuichi froze in his tracks. He sighed and walked towards his dad and hung his head. "Good boy" his dad praised. A cruel, creepy smile appeared on his face.
Shuichi was deep in thought. Every memory repeated over and over again in his mind. He shuddered and everything became blurry. 'Ritsuka…' Shuichi thought, utterly terrified of the scene infected his mind. He clutched his pillow anxiously. 'Dad…' He saw a mixture of colors, mostly red and black. He groaned. His head was pounding from all the memories.
"Oi, Shuichi!" a familiar voice called. Shuichi couldn't seem to place his finger on whom it was. His mind was clouded. He closed his eyes and tried to fall into blissful dreams. But that voice was continuing to annoy him.
"Oi, brat! Is that you?" Shuichi didn't respond. The temperature seemed to rise, and everything looked like it was melting. Shuichi blinked and slowly rubbed his eyes. Nothing changed. He frowned, unhappy with himself. He wanted everything to be okay. He closed his eyes and blocked out the voices that continued on. The voices stopped. Yuki thought that Shuichi had fallen asleep and returned to his novel.
"I did it…because of you" a husky voice said. Shuichi looked up with fear. He winced as he saw HIM standing in front of him. HE was angry, to say the least. HIS hands were covered in a liquid that Shuichi couldn't tell the color of. "You didn't listen, you bad boy. I had to do some punishing because of that, you naughty child."
Shuichi gulped and staggered backwards until he hit the wall. He cringed as his father followed his movements. He couldn't escape HIM, despite his efforts. He was helpless. He was scared, but also furious. He didn't know why he felt the latter, but it didn't matter. Fear was soaking him to the bone. He gave a pleading look to his dad.
"It was your entire fault, you know…" his dad whispered. "You just can't listen, can you? Next time, I'll end more than one. You know that well, don't you?" He didn't let Shuichi reply. "I know the answer. You're so selfish, did you know that? Such a pitiful monster, you are…"
"No…" Shuichi whispered. He sunk down on to the floor. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the floor, or what was on it. Tears flew freely down his face and landed on to the floor he forbade himself to look at. "I-I…"
"Don't lie, you piece of shit" his father breathed. "You're a fucking disgrace to the world. You know that, right? This is your fault. You did this. How could you? And to him?" He looked at the floor and Shuichi avoided his eyes and settled at looking at his hands. "You deserve to die, son of a bitch…."
"No, I didn't know that…" Shuichi tried to explain frantically. He was having trouble with words. He was cut off by his father.
"Shut up, bastard!" he yelled. He stomped towards Shuichi and punched him in the face. Shuichi let out a cry. "Stop! You don't deserve to cry! You disobeyed me!" Shuichi stopped crying, even though his face hurt. "I'll make it hurt more now!" He kicked Shuichi in the stomach. Shuichi gasped and bit his lip.
Guilt washed over him. He was actually crying, begging for forgiveness and making excuses after what he caused? His head pounded loudly. He couldn't hear anything anymore… He wanted to disappear…
Yuki heard a cry coming from the living room. He growled and examined his Word document, double-checking the last page. He smiled, satisfied with his work. It was finally finished, his story. He heard the cry again and started to get worried. He stood up and saved his work. He wandered into the living room.
Yuki walked over to the couch where Shuichi was sleeping. He saw Shuichi toss and turn in the bed, still in his work clothes. Sweat drops covered Shuichi's forehead. His breathing sounded irregular. Yuki stared at Shuichi for a second before rushing over to his side.
"Shuichi, wake up" Yuki ordered. He was worried about the kid, but if Shuichi found out what he was doing Yuki would say, "I couldn't go to sleep with your loud, annoying cries". He already had his excuseplanned out.Yuki shook Shuichi lightly, hoping to awaken the singer.
Shuichi continued to cry out, toss and turn. Yuki felt his forehead and frowned. It was very warm. 'I should keep him near me in case he falls off the couch' Yuki thought. 'I'll just bring him to the bedroom.' Yuki sighed and carefully picked Shuichi up bridal style. He carried Shuichi to the bedroom and placed him on it. He noticedwhat Shuichi was wearing and changed his clothes. (A/N:DON'T BE A PERVERT!)Yuki placed some large pillows on Shuichi's side of the bed so he didn't fall off.
"No…" Shuichi whimpered. Yuki frowned. He didn't like seeing Shuichi like this, sick and obviouslysuffering. It seemed physically and emotionally painful.He looked at the clock. It read 2am, too late to call a doctor."I-I…no..." Shuichi murmured.Yuki walked out of the bedroom and got a washcloth from the closet. He thenwet it under the sink and climbed into the bed. He attempted to put the washcloth on Shuichi's forehead.
Shuichi mumbled something and clutched Yuki's shirt. (Yuki was wearing his night clothes.) He got as close to Yuki as possible, nuzzling him, and the tossing and turning stopped. His breathing returned to normal, but his forehead was still warm.
Yuki sighed in defeat and placed the cloth on Shuichi's forehead. He decided to let Shuichi 'cuddle' with him. He would have to call a doctor in the morning if Shuichi wasn't better. He wondered what Shuichi's nightmare was about. 'He must've been feeling pretty bad if he didn't even have the energy to get changed. Maybe it had something to do with where he went after work... Wasn't he seeing his dad? Hmm...' Yuki sighed and let sleep overtake him.
A/N: So, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! Thank you reviewers! I got 66 reviews, and I'm quite proud! -dances- You guys brightened my horrible week! Thank you!
Deji: Oh darn it! I can't think of anything to write!
Yuki: Then why did you write this stupid thing anyway? -growls-
Deji: Because I'm stupid, and proud of it! -beams- I used to think that Thailand was in Kentucky! That's how stupid I am!
Shuichi: Wow, even I'm not THAT stupid... -is shocked- I've found someone stupider than me? Deji, be the BAKA CLUB LEADER PLZ! -begs-
Deji: WOOT! Oh sure! I feel so powerful! -dances-
Yuki: -covers eyes and ears- Just looking at you guys hurts my eyes... Ow! -- The stupidity burns!
Deji + Shuichi: Please read and review. If we get enough reviews, we'll update TOMORROW!
