A Week Earlier
"Levi?"
"Hm?"
Petra sat on his lap and he put his phone down.
"Do you remember our conversation in my bed last week?" She asked, moving the collar of his black shirt to the side. She looked at the little love bites she left there a couple of hours ago, when they passionately enjoyed their afterdate.
"You talk a lot in your bed."
"No, I mean the one where you were talking. When you broke into my house. Remember?"
The man seemed to tense for a moment before looking at her face.
"Right. I remember. You said you don't want to move in with me."
She sent him a scolding look.
"I said that I want to talk it through. Because… it's a big deal."
"Is it, really?"
"It is," she assured him in a light voice and moved to sit on him face-to-face. "Are you sure about this? This is your place, and now, I'm a guest. If I move in, it would be ours ."
He observed her face, sensing how fragile the topic seemed to her.
"I'm not crazy about this place. It was like this when I moved in and I don't care if you will change something. I don't feel like you're a guest anymore. What's really on your mind?"
Her surprised look set on him before she looked down. He was patiently waiting for her to figure that out. It took longer than he expected.
"It's…" she started, but fell silent for a couple seconds more, and took her hands off his shoulders. "If something happens, I would have nowhere to hide."
Her words set heavily on his heart, but pushing her into this was not his intention. After all, she started the topic.
"Do you feel like you will have to hide from me?" He asked with a serious face.
Petra sighed and hugged herself unconsciously.
"I don't know. Things change when you live with someone."
He watched her, not sure what would be the right move to do.
"I don't want you to feel scared when you are here."
She looked back at him and tried her best to smile, at least a little.
"I know. If you are fine with it… I thought about moving here, but still paying rent for my flat. It might sound like I don't trust you, and I swear I don't want you to feel hurt-"
"Petra, it's fine," he interrupted her visibly much too dramatic monologue. "I don't feel hurt. And I don't need your money for you to live here. You can do whatever you want."
The woman held her breath for a moment before sighing. She fell on him, putting the side of her head on his shoulder. He pulled her closer as they remained in silence for a bit longer. When she finally raised her head again, she looked him in the eyes from up close.
"I want to try. I feel good being here."
Levi smiled at the sight of the purity of her emotions showing on her face.
"I won't let you down. I promise," he said and moved closer to place a soft kiss on her lips. He could feel how she smiled and a sense of relief fell on him.
He laid back on the couch again and caressed her thigh with his hand.
"Guess I will have to buy a bigger bed."
The first thing he felt was a headache. The pain grew with each second, making him frown. He opened his eyes slightly, blinded by the harsh white lights. To his surprise, he wasn't at the beach anymore. Although he didn't remember his way back. He could swear only a few minutes ago, he was talking with that woman about…
What were they talking about?
"Levi!" He heard the voice of his mother and his body twitched in shock while his eyes went wide open. He tried to sit up, but she stopped him. Everything hurt, like a bitch, no less. The top side of his face was covered in bandages, but he could see through his left eye.
"No, no! Lay down, I will let the doctors know you woke up." She said, concerned, and let go of his arms.
His frown deepened. He was confused. His vision was blurry for a moment and he had no idea what the fuck was going on. A dreadful feeling squeezed his heart at the sight of his mother leaving the room. He reached out a hand in her direction and only then did he notice an IV attached to the back of his hand. The realization that two of his fingers were missing hit him as well.
It was too much. He closed his eyes again and sighed, drowning in the haze of his mind.
Slowly, more and more sounds reached his ears - people shuffling their shoes around the halls and the buzzing of the equipment close to the bed he laid on.
He quickly lost track of time, going into a half-sleep state until the sound of people coming into the room alerted him. A woman in a long, white jacket was speaking to him, but he couldn't figure out a word.
"What?" He asked, frustrated, then watched as his mother look at the doctor with worry. She came closer to him.
"It's okay, Levi. The doctor will run some tests and you will be able to rest more."
He grunted and massaged the bridge of his nose before turning his head back to the stranger. He was used to it. They always blinded his eyes with that little light, waved a finger in front of his face for him to follow, and asked stupid questions. Although usually it was just Hange who was always there to patch him back up after a fight.
"Do you remember your name?"
"Yes, I'm fine."
"What's your name?"
"Levi." He replied, slightly irritated and took a look at his mother before adding. "Ackerman."
"Mr. Ackerman, do you remember what happened before you came here? "
"I…was at the beach."
"Do you remember what happened to you?"
"No. I guess I ended up in a fight there? Car crash on the way back?"
She exhaled calmly and put down her notes to look at him.
"Mr. Ackerman. You were a victim of an explosion at your workplace. Your body experienced several injuries, and although most of them were minor, our doctors were not able to save your leg. We've done everything we could."
Levi looked at her in silence, as her words didn't make sense. He didn't understand. His legs didn't hurt, at least not more than the rest of his stiff body.
"What?"
"Your leg was crushed by the rubble. There was…nothing to be saved."
A pause of silence filled the room before Levi looked down and reached his hand to the sheet that covered his left leg. He touched his thigh and moved it down, until it fell and gripped the empty sheets below his knee.
"In the case of your right eye, there's still hope of recovery, but it is not guaranteed."
He felt dizzy. A high-pitched sound filled his head as the blurry images of the accident appeared in his mind. He was aware the two women were talking to him again, but he didn't hear a thing, only mumbling as if a wall of water was between them.
"Get out." He said in a low voice.
"Levi, I know it's a shock, and-"
"I need. To be. Alone." He interrupted his mother, feeling a cold sweat covering his body. His eyes were locked on the bedsheets in his hand.
He waited until they left and let out a shaky breath through an open mouth. Slowly, he uncovered his legs and sat up, with his eyes locked on the bandaged knee.
He could swear he was still feeling it, just like it was there, but it clearly wasn't. He wanted to run out of there and go somewhere he would feel actually safe - his home, his parlor, his living room, the bedroom he was going to share with Petra within the next few days.
Another realization shook his body. He felt like he was about to throw up, but his stomach was painfully empty. He moved instantly to sit on the edge of the hospital bed and called his mom, praying she didn't go far and could hear him.
The woman came back into the room, alarmed by his cries. Only now he realized how terrified he sounded.
"Petra! Is she okay? Tell me she's okay, I beg you!" He pleaded, gripping the material of his shirt over his heart.
Kuchel quickly approached him and put a hand on his head while bending down to him.
"She's okay, baby. She's fine."
Levi choked on the tears he wasn't aware he was holding until now and pulled his mother closer, hiding his face between her arms.
"She waited for you to wake up the whole night. I convinced her to go and take a rest."
"Is she injured?" He asked, his voice trembling.
"She's not a patient here. Don't worry." The woman spoke while caressing his hair.
"I need to see her."
"Do you…want me to go wake her up?"
Petra almost ran into the room, making him snap out of the disassociated state of his mind. She looked like a mess, but he couldn't care less. Seeing her, in one piece, right in front of his eyes was a dreamlike experience at that point. Before he could react, she was already close, embracing him in a tight hug.
"Levi, my god, I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you woke up!"
He let out a grunt of pain and she let go of him instantly.
"I'm sorry!"
Levi let out a breath and took her face in his hands.
"I'm so glad!" She continued, almost out of breath. "The doctors said you should have been up since morning, but you weren't. When we got here, they couldn't tell me if you'll be okay. Your surgery was taking hours and I really… I really thought I might lose you."
He watched her, barely making sense of her words. All he needed was to understand her broken expression. Never in his life did he feel so...
"I love you so much," he said quietly, interrupting her monologue.
Petra sniffed and smiled through the tears forming in her eyes. She placed what seemed like the most delicate kiss on the part of his cheek that wasn't covered in bandages.
"How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"
"Just you. For now, please. I'm… my mind is blurry," he said. Although he covered his internal panic due to everything that happened, he knew she saw right through him.
Petra sat on the edge of his bed and he laid the side of his head on her shoulder, while embracing her with one arm. He knew she tried to stay strong, but her uneven breathing that moved her whole body was quick to expose her. He didn't mind that as long as he could touch her, be sure she was right there with him.
Alive.
The light weight of Petra's body on the side of his chest felt comforting. He didn't even notice when she dozed off since he, himself, got lost in his thoughts and didn't focus on the show they were watching on his phone.
After she came to comfort him, he agreed to speak to the doctor again, so she could describe how the next few days in the hospital will look for him. They couldn't yet tell if his memory and focusing issues were post traumatic or the sign of concussion. It all seemed unreal and he felt as if at any given moment he would wake up.
He was the one to convince Petra to lay down on the bed with him, even though she was scared she might hurt him. He couldn't see her face, only the peachy locks of hair.
Focusing on her breathing, he only looked up when his mother entered the room. She closed the door and put a takeout tea for him on the bedside table.
She smiled a little at the sight of the two of them before sitting on a chair next to the bed.
"Thank you," he said but didn't move, not wanting to risk waking Petra. Kuchel followed his eyes.
"She really cares about you."
"Yeah," he sighed. "I know."
His mother smiled, and he knew she realized he finally accepted his vulnerability. He appreciated that she didn't comment on it.
"Thank you for paying for the private room and everything. I will send you the money back later."
"Oh, I didn't pay for it. When I got here, Petra already took care of everything."
Levi sighed shallowly and looked at the sleeping woman in his arms.
"What are the chances she will stay with me?"
"What do you mean?" Kuchel asked, sending him a confused look.
Levi was silent for a longer moment, looking at the ceiling blankly. He turned his eyes to his mother when he felt her hand on his shoulder. It was hard to miss the meaning of her smile.
