Hey guys! This is the longest chapter yet! (over 3000 words, without my long ANs!)WOOT! I worked hard on it, for about...five hours. For two hours though, I pulled a blank and wished for my plot bunnies to return to me... But then I remembered what I planned to do in the beginning (I forgot somehow...)and went for it! (I thank Dashboard Confessional and its song 'Hands Down' and Staind with the song Right Here'for the sudden rememberance!)I hope you enjoy this chapter. This is one of my (IMO) best chapters!
Thanks for the tremendous amount of reviews last chapter, 25 reviews, all positive! OO I was shocked. I was gonna update sooner because you guys made me so overjoyed, but I got busy my original story (I'm obsessed with it) andfrom schoolwork. (3rd quarter stinks...TT) My teachers kept giving me all this long homework that took all night to finish! They're so evil! Anyways, they're staying at the bay now, since we just finished the State Math Exam. (I studied for that like crazy! I better pass!) And someone that I know's brother died, so that also made them nicer... I wish the guy didn't die though, even if it gave me more computer time. ;;
Oh, and please read my latest story, 'Just a Shadow', because I worked very hard on it! Trust me, I spent hours perfecting it, because I was determined to impress all of you!
And I realized that a lot of you are yaoi fans. Sorry that I can't please you with yaoi scenes! But I am only thirteen, so you can't ask me to. :P Unless you want to taint an innocent (or not so innocent) mind. Thanks for tolerating it thought, since most of you are old enough to enjoy that kind of stuff! I apologize!
This chapter will definitely shock you! Here comes a major twist, that NO ONE expected! WOOT! -beams- I feel so powerful, because I will surprise all of you! MUWAHAHAHA! -coughs- Drat, I hope I stop getting sick all the time! TT
AND NO FLAMES! I HATE FLAMES! THEY WILL BE DELETED AND IGNORED! People who flame stories are very stupid, because that means they don't understand what 'constructive critisism' is and are stupid and mean!
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation
Chapter 9: Helpless
Time slowed down as Yuki leaned up against the wall to think. Shuichi had never hid anything from him before. If Shuichi was upset, he would cry. If Shuichi was angry, he would yell. If Shuichi was happy, he would smile. He "wore his heart on his sleeve", as Yuki would constantly say. Yuki always claimed that it was annoying, but at least it gave you an idea what he was thinking.
But now, something was bothering his petite lover, and he didn't know what. That stunned him for a moment, because he never thought his lover would hide anything. And it definitely wasn't something stupid, or good, either. Yuki knew it was serious by the way Shuichi was crying. He was so desperately trying to stop, but he couldn't. When Shuichi cried over stupid things, he wouldn't hold anything in. He'd cry a river every single time he saw a sad movie. So, what was causing Shuichi such torment?
Yuki's eyes narrowed. He tried to remember when Shuichi started acting strangely. It was in the morning, a few days ago, right after Yuki told Shuichi about the phone call… 'Wait, who was calling?' Yuki thought. He snapped his fingers silently. 'It was his father, that Anoiji guy!' Shuichi let out another anguished sob, and Yuki cringed mentally. He sighed and decided to let Shuichi think he knew nothing until he actually found proof of something…
'It was his father' Yuki confirmed. 'His father made him feel so…sad. I knew I was on to something when I asked Tohma about him, that Anoiji. I'm always right. It has to be that; nothing else would make sense in this situation. That guy did give me a creepy vibe. It was like he was trying to kill me with his smile…' Yuki shuddered. He paused and slowly walked back to the kitchen. He'd find the ramen by himself. 'But what did he do?' Yuki wondered. 'Well, I guess I'd better find that out soon…'
Yuki came back to the couch with a cup of ramen five minutes later. It was in this cabinet that he never even knew existed until he saw the ramen. It was amazing how he was still finding new things in this apartment he had lived in for months. To Shuichi, he seemed distant, and his eyes looked blank. Shuichi immediately wiped his eyes and put on a smile for Yuki. He tried hard to seem excited. He even tried to jump for joy, but he fell; and once again, Yuki had to catch him as he rolled his eyes. Yuki sat down on the couch next to Shuichi. He noted that Shuichi was very pale and he looked exhausted. His face was red, confirming the suspicion of the fever lingering on.
"Baka, you should be more careful" he muttered as he handed the ramen to Shuichi. "Don't burn yourself, either. I'm not going to the emergency room again, got that?" Shuichi nodded silently. He hung his head sadly and ate his ramen. Yuki slapped himself mentally. He never meant to make Shuichi upset. Correction: He never meant to make Shuichi more upset. Shuichi was already depressed enough, over something that Yuki didn't exactly know about.
"Yuki?" Shuichi asked quietly. He slurped a bit of his ramen as quietly as possible. He didn't want to get scolded by Yuki. For some reason, every time someone yelled at him, or was angry at him, Shuichi felt upset. It was worse than usual. 'It's because dad came back, and I realize that sometimes people really do mean what they say…' Shuichi thought vaguely. He sighed and waited for Yuki to respond, or give recognition to his question. He doubted it. He sighed as another memory came back to him like a rock.
"You're a piece of shit, you know that?" his dad demanded from the shadows. "Yes you know exactly how disgusting and horrible you are! Why do you live? I should just kill you, because your existence is just a bother! Or maybe that stupid friend of yours, Ritsuka, I believe. He's the same as you, you know. Neither of you can do anything right! You're all failures! I can't believe I'm your father!"
"What?" Yuki asked. He tried to hide his annoyance. He was deep in thought, and didn't want to be disturbed. But yelling at Shuichi would destroy the point. He wanted Shuichi to be happy, so making him feel bad wouldn't do any good. Yuki needed to fix this problem that Shuichi had, even though he didn't know exactly what it was. Yuki sighed and turned towards Shuichi. He watched Shuichi sigh softly.
"Well, I was just wondering, how did you find me outside?" Shuichi asked meekly. "I mean, I was outside, right? I don't remember… Well, anyways, how did you find me? I mean, how would you have seen me if I was outside? Weren't you supposed to be typing your story?" Yuki growled lowly.
"Why do you wanna know that?" Yuki asked, slightly annoyed. He hated when the 'brat' asked so many unnecessary questions. Shuichi shrugged and looked straight up into Yuki's eyes. Yuki sighed and rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Well, I was going outside to get more cigarettes because I ran out. And I just happened to find you right outside my door, unconscious. And then I had to call 911 and everything… Ugh…." Shuichi let out a small whimper. He bit his lip anxiously.
"I'm sorry, Yuki" Shuichi said. He turned away towards the TV. "I didn't mean to cause you so much trouble. I should've gone to Hiro's if I knew I wasn't feeling well. Then you wouldn't have had to go through all that trouble." He paused and faced Yuki again. "Can you forgive me?" Shuichi felt so guilty. He never liked to anger Yuki. He just wanted to make Yuki happy, but he could never accomplish that. He only caused everyone trouble.
"What?" Yuki demanded. He glared at Shuichi. "Stop apologizing! It wasn't your fault that you got sick! No one wants to get sick, and few people say, "Oh, I'm gonna get sick today! Yay!" So stop apologizing! It's fine! I don't mind, okay?" He took a deep breath and sighed. Shuichi looked worse than before. He yelled at himself mentally. "Look, I would've rather had you tell me earlier so that wouldn't have happened, but it doesn't matter now. Forget it."
"You sure Yuki?" Shuichi asked. "I mean, you're not mad at me?" Yuki shook his head. "Oh, okay…" A smile crept on to his lips. "Wait, were you actually worried about me before?" he asked slyly. "It seems like it. After all, you didn't have to wait for me to wake up; you could've just left and waited for me to come back, am I right? No one forced you to stay. So it must've been because of me!" Shuichi seemed to find his spirits and his real smile returned to his face. Yuki turned red.
"No, it wasn't because of that" Yuki lied. He searched for some words he could use. He groped around in his mind until he found something. "That Hiro guy would've killed me if I hadn't gone. And besides, if I hadn't stayed, the nurses or doctors would've spilled that you had to go to the hospital. Then, all your crazy, stupid fans would think you're dying. They'd come to MY door and chant YOUR name. I would've never been able to write with their noise." He rubbed his temple to emphasize his point. Shuichi's smiled transformed into a frown of disappointed, but expectance.
"Oh" Shuichi said. He sounded a bit surprised, but not greatly. It was as if he knew that Yuki would tell him something different than what he wanted to hear. He felt like covering his ears and listening to himself talk for Yuki. Sometimes Shuichi wondered if Yuki really cared, or if those excuses really were just excuses that Yuki cooked up in the moment. It was a popular though for him, wondering if Yuki loved him. He hoped those little incidents where Yuki was kind to him were real, and not just things he made up to please himself later on. "Okay…" he whispered. He wished his head would stop pounding for a moment, so he could think straight. It was disrupting his concentration.
"Hey" Yuki said. It came out of nowhere. Shuichi looked up at Yuki, slightly startled. "What's with your dad?" He wanted to slowly inch towards the problem. Maybe it would slip out accidentally, or so Yuki deeply hoped. "I mean, you didn't seem particularly sad when he had to leave. Is he annoying or mean, or something like that?" Shuichi gasped, surprised as to what the conversation was about. He was also surprised that Yuki was curious about his life for once.
"Oh, he's okay" Shuichi lied. He twiddled his thumbs. "He was a nice guy, and he always let me do whatever I wanted. He just didn't get along with Mom. Other than that, he was nice…" Shuichi couldn't think of anything else to say. He wished he did, though, because he didn't want Yuki to become suspicious. That was why he only cried when Yuki left. He was so afraid, though, that Anoiji would pop up again. Just the sight of him caused Shuichi to shudder mentally and/or physically. Shuichi didn't even want to imagine what Anoiji would DO. Suddenly, he came up with something else to say, to break the silence that had just recently filled the room. "I wasn't sad when he left because my head was hurting, like it is now…" He cringed. He was only partly lying. His head did hurt. "I couldn't really think. I didn't even notice that he left until I woke up again."
Yuki didn't buy one bit of it. He knew every word Shuichi said was a lie, except maybe that his head hurt. That was believable. But Shuichi's dad being a nice guy? That was such a joke; Yuki just forgot to laugh. How could someone with such a creepy smile, and an evil aura be called nice? Yuki knew who was nice and who wasn't. He slowly looked at Shuichi, searching for signs of nervousness. Shuichi could never lie with a straight
face. Finally, he found the twiddling thumbs. He was assured that Shuichi was lying, but he wasn't going to say anything yet.
"Ritsuka! Ritsuka! RITSUKA!" Shuichi hollered. Someone put their hand over his mouth. Shuichi struggled angrily and fearfully. He yelled through the hand and kicked and screamed, until tears formed in his eyes. He let go and collapsed to the ground, and he cried. "Ri..Ritsuka…"
"Shut up" his dad ordered. Sobs erupted from Shuichi's mouth. "It was your fault, after all. You told him, and I couldn't let him go around telling everybody. You should've kept your mouth shut. It hurts other people when you talk, you know." And everything turned into a mix of black and red…
"Oh, I didn't think he was nice at all" Yuki said casually. "He was creepy. I don't like him at all." He paused and watched Shuichi cringe, obviously in pain. He slapped himself mentally. "Do you need those pills they prescribed for you?" Shuichi nodded slowly. "Oh, okay. I'll go get them." He stood up and fetched a bottle of water and one pill. He handed both to Shuichi. "Don't chew it." Shuichi nodded and quickly swallowed the pill. He sighed happily. He felt better already.
"Hey Yuki" Shuichi said. Yuki looked at Shuichi as a response. "I was wondering… Have you ever been scared of someone? I mean, you seem so tough. I've never seen you afraid of someone. I'm afraid of a whole bunch of people, like Tohma, K, this guy named Steve who tried to steal my pants, that crazy fan-girl named Maki who is always drunk and screaming, that evil duck at the drug store, and that hobo down the road. The hobo is so creepy… He has read eyes and he keeps asking me if I have any weed. I tell him that they're all over the ground, and he growls at me. He's creepy… Anyways, are you afraid, or have you been afraid, of anyone?"
"No, not that I remember" Yuki replied flatly. "You're afraid of a lot of people. There's Tohma. I can understand that. And K; I can understand that. Maki, you should avoid. I don't need you coming home covered in beer… And you mean that squeaky toy duck?" Shuichi nodded. "And that hobo was asking for drugs, idiot, not the weeds on the ground." Shuichi's mouth formed an O. "And Steve… Wait, he tried to steal your pants?" Shuichi nodded. "Wow, the fans have really gone crazy. None of my fans attempted to steal my pants…yet." Shuichi nodded knowingly. "But no, I'm not afraid of anyone. Mostly, people are afraid of me."
"Oh, okay…" Shuichi said. Suddenly, he had an idea. "Hey, can I call Hiro? Maybe we can go somewhere." Yuki shook his head. Shuichi began to pout. "Why not? Do you hate Hiro that much? Last time I checked, I was living in a free country!" Yuki rolled his eyes.
"Well, you wouldn't have asked if you knew you could do it without permission" Yuki explained. "And, it is my phone, after all. And, I don't want you to leave because that Hiro dude will kill me if he finds out that you collapsed right outside my door, and I didn't notice until half an hour later. He will, because he'll notice how you look, and you'll have to take you medicine in front of him, because someone always has to watch you. Personally, I don't need his complaints at the moment, especially after the little incident at the hospital." Shuichi's face fell.
Suddenly, the phone began to ring. Yuki groaned and tried to ignore the rings. But they didn't stop. Someone was calling him continuously, and they weren't giving up. He sighed and stood up. He looked angry and wanted to smash the phone into little pieces. He stomped his foot and growled.
"Who'd call someone a zillion times when they know no one is gonna answer?" Yuki demanded no one in particular. "Ugh, some people are so idiotic!" Shuichi nodded, not entirely agreeing with Yuki, but wanting to calm the novelist down. The phone rang once again, and Yuki finally snapped. "FINE! I'LL ANSWER YOU, STUPID PHONE! WHOEVER'S ON THE LINE BETTER HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY!" Yuki picked up the phone. Shuichi sighed in relief. He just hoped Yuki wouldn't start swearing on the phone again. He could be really loud, and Shuichi still had a headache. But it was amusing to watch Yuki have conversations with inanimate objects. He could tease Yuki about this later.
"What the heck do you want?" Yuki demanded. "I answered, okay? Man, give me a break! When I don't want to answer the phone, I don't answer it! That's why we have a voice machine! DO NOT call me like this EVER AGAIN, whoever you are." The voice on the other end seemed to breathe heavily. 'Great, a creepystalker' Yuki thought, definitely not amused.
"It's Mika, from a pay phone" the voice answered. Yuki slammed his fist against the wall, much to Shuichi's dismay. Shuichi's headache worsened. He now understood how Yuki felt when he complained he had a headache. They really did hurt, especially when people were screaming. "Look, this is really important! I had to call you! See… Tatsuha got hit by a car on the way home from a Ryuichi concert and…" That was all Yuki needed to hear.
"You're joking" Yuki said. The breaths of the person on the other line discouraged his hopes. "No, darn it!" He sighed and took a deep breath. "What hospital is he at, Mika?" he demanded coldly.
"He's at Tokyo Medical Hospital, of course!" Mika replied. "The concert was in Tokyo. He never even made it to the train…" Her voice wavered and she started to cry. "Please Eiri, come to the hospital. Tat needs you!"
Yuki was devastated. He always told Tatsuha that he hated him, but he really didn't. He loved Tatsuha only partly because they were brothers, but also because Tatsuha could lift anyone's spirits. Throughout his life, Tatsuha would always come with free comic relief, so to speak. He could make Yuki smile on the inside, and he never treated Yuki differently, even though he looked American. Tat didn't "see" his brother that way. He just saw Yuki as a person, a brother who required his compassion, as did everyone else. He was such a happy-go-lucky guy, even if he was a pervert. He was special in his own way, and now he might be dead, or dying. Yuki couldn't think straight. Yuki hung up the phone without a word and looked at Shuichi. He frowned. He couldn't leave Shuichi alone…
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Shuichi got up to answer it, so as not to bother Yuki. He didn't want to hear Yuki scream anymore, since Yuki seemed frustrated enough. When he opened the door, Hiro was there, waving and smiling happily.
"What's up, Shuichi?" he asked. Shuichi smiled and let Hiro in. He looked nervously at Yuki, who merely nodded. Yuki sighed and walked over to the closet while Hiro and Shuichi had a nice conversation, with a few insults from Hiro to Yuki, which Shuichi scolded Hiro for.
"Hey Hiro, can you do me a favor?" Yuki asked softly. He covered his face with his hands. He took a deep breath. Hiro just blinked skeptically. Shuichi gasped, because Yuki never asked people for favors, especially Hiro. "Well?"
"Uh, what is it you want me to do?" Hiro asked, not wanting to be mean to Yuki in front of Shuichi again. "I'll tell you if I can do it after you tell me." Yuki groaned and sighed.
"I just got a call from Mika" he explained. "She said that Tatsuha got hit by a car…" He paused and waited for Hiro and Shuichi's reaction. They both didn't say anything, absorbing what Yuki just said. "She asked me to come, and I can't leave Shuichi alone. He…got sick earlier today, and he could fall or something stupid like that. I need someone to watch him, and give him his medicine. Can you do that?" Yuki couldn't believe what he was asking his enemy. He never asked people for anything, unless he REALLY needed it, and this was one of those times.
"Oh god…" Hiro whispered. 'His brother?' he thought. 'That must be hard…' "He got hit by a car?" Yuki nodded slowly and grabbed his coat slowly, looking at Hiro. "Oh…wow… That guy who looks exactly like you and is obsessed with Ryuichi?" Yuki nodded again. He put his coat on quickly. "Him, that happy-go-lucky guy? He's Shuichi's friend, right?" Yuki nodded for the umpteenth time. "Oh, I'll watch Shuichi, sure. Go ahead." Hiro had never felt sympathetic towards Yuki, until now. He even forgot to question Yuki about how Shuichi got sick. It wasn't on the top of his list of priorities.
Yuki nodded, his way of saying thanks. He opened his door and rushed out it without saying anything, grabbing his hat as he ran. He jumped into his car while Hiro and Shuichi watched painfully. They didn't know what to say, or how to say it.
Shuichi was horrified. Sure, Tatsuha molested him a few times, but he was still a nice guy overall. Shuichi knew Tatsuha would risk his life for others, and would help a puppy with a splinter in its paw. And Tatsuha was hit by a car? It was unbelievable. People like Tatsuha, who were so free-spirited and wild, weren't the type of people you expected to get hurt. They always seemed invincible, untouchable. They were people you secretly admired from time to time for their liveliness.
Shuichi collapsed to the ground, unable to register last minutes' events. It was impossible, he told himself. But he started to cry because he knew he was fooling himself. He hoped for Tatsuha to make it out alive, and for Yuki to be okay as well, since he seemed to be taking it hard, like Shuichi was. He ignored Hiro's comforting words and continued to cry. Nothing could go right this week, nothing… He coughed badly as everything around him faded out of focus, but he stayed awake, so he could be conscious when Yuki came back, if he came back today.
"Tatsuha…" Shuichi whispered. Everything was spinning, but he convinced himself to stay awake, stay awake for everyone around him. And he would, because Shuichi Shindou never gives up.
A/N: MUWAHAHAHA! I did a major twist, didn't I? Well, you won't find out what happens unless you REVIEW! (meaning no reviews, no update...)What will happen to Tatsuha? And Shuichi and Yuki? OrHiro?And what about Anoiji? You'll see... I have it all planned out... -smirks evilly-
And, if you don't already know, crying isn't good for you when you're sick. It makes you hack like a maniac... I would know... (strep throat+cryingbad...)Oh, and I'd like to thank Julin X for her review for 'Just a Shadow'. She's so awesome! READ HER STORIES, ESPECIALLY 'LUNAR REFLECTION' and'KAKUMEI'!Once again, please read and review 'Just a Shadow'.
THANKS FOR READING! IF YOU REVIEW, I'LL BE VERY HAPPY AND -wink, wink- UPDATE QUICKER SOMEHOW!
