My first attempt at a DA fic...I don't own them...please r&r.

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Is "I love you" too much to ask?

I remember those warm brown eyes staring into mine. I kept hoping that she would be able to see straight through to my soul and the truth written there. To see that she was right, that I did hate myself that much. That was why I tattooed my barcode onto the poor hapless fools that stumbled blindly into my path. I was the anomaly, the monster in the basement. Maybe if things had been different. If I had been paired with her during the escape, if we had grown up together…but fate doesn't work that way. I stared into her eyes wanting to tell her everything. I wanted to tell her that I loved her, that I always had, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't bring myself to cause her anymore pain than I already had. Instead I asked her to do the unthinkable, to end my suffering once and for all. I knew that it was killing her inside, and I hated myself that much more.

"Tell me about the good place."

I knew then that she understood. That she knew how I felt for her. How? I can't say, in my heart I just knew.

"I love you Ben, I'm so sorry." They were the last words I remembered hearing as darkness took me, but they gave me all the comfort in the world.

I thought that I would die then. Death would have been a welcome relief, but Manticore had other ideas. They brought me back home, and gave me my old life back. I tried so hard to fight them, and in the end I won. I won because of my Max.

Looking back on the moment in the woods I don't think that I would have changed anything. Max gave me a reason to live again, to stop hating myself. Sitting here now watching her with my Manticore twin I can't help but feel a pang of sorrow. I know that she is happy with him, but I can't help but wish that it was me she was holding tight.

"I love you Max," I whisper the words to the wind, hoping that it will carry them to her heart. I watch as she lifts her head to the shadows where I am hiding. A faint smile crosses her lips. I know that she heard them, and I know that things are going to be alright. Slowly, I leave my hiding place and make my way home. The clouds roll back to revel a pristine sky filled with billions of tiny stars. I pick out the brightest star that I can find and name it Max. Max, my love, my strength and my guiding light.