Several hours after that, Retro, Rupert and Earl were in the war room with the aliens, trying to explain the plan to them. They all stood in front of the Earl's troop with a blackboard behind them that had plans drawn on it.
"Okay, are they ready?" asked Retro.
"Good luck," Earl said, rolling his eyes. "They're the most incompetent aliens ever."
"Aw, they can't be that bad."
Rupert and Earl simply blinked and stared into the crowd of blabbering aliens.
"Everyone quiet, please!" Retro shouted.
Still more blabbering.
"Please be quiet!" he shouted a little louder.
Blah, blah, blah.
"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!" he finally hollered.
An alien cricket sounded as the aliens finally fell silent.
Retro looked at Rupert, Earl and Bob, who all held up cards with numbers on them that said 10, 9.5, and 9.
"Hey, I beat my old record," he muttered to himself.
Retro turned back to the aliens.
"As you know, you are after an Earth Potentate known as Calvin, who is also someone I've been after. After some arrangements with the king and the captain, I shall be joining up with you. I'm Retro Griffin. That's Bob," he said, pointing at his sidekick.
"HI, BOB!" everyone shouted.
Bob waved nervously and then fainted from fear.
"Anyway," Retro continued, "this is the plan. We travel to Earth inconspicuously and…"
He noticed an alien was raising his tentacle.
"Whaddya want?" he shouted.
"What does inconspicuously mean?" asked the alien.
Retro gave him a blank stare. "You're kidding, right?"
Another tentacle went up.
"Yes?"
"What does kidding mean?" asked the other alien.
Retro groaned and hung his head.
"Want me to kill them?" whispered Rupert.
"No, no, we all have to start somewhere," Retro replied. He looked back at the aliens. "Okay, let's start over. Tonight, we're going to travel to Earth without being seen, and we'll sneak up to Calvin's house, beam him up into the ship and leave an evil clone in his place. The clone will cause mayhem and make Calvin the most hated thing on the planet. Then it'll destroy the defense systems and we'll move in to take over. In the meantime, we'll destroy the real Calvin, provided he stays put. Any questions?"
There was that alien cricket again.
"Does that mean yes or no?" he whispered to Rupert.
"Doesn't matter. They'll do it anyway."
"All right then," Earl said. "You have your orders; get to the ship. But first, there are cups of lava waiting in the lobby. One per creature."
"YAY!" they cheered, and they all ran off.
"Come on, Earl!" said Rupert. "Let's get some of that lava while it's still hot."
They scampered away, leaving a disgusted Retro and an unconscious Bob.
Back on Earth, Calvin and Hobbes were back in the bedroom. The day was over, and they were just getting to bed.
"Well, that was a day," Hobbes said, settling into bed. "I think I've got something in my fur. What does it look like to you?"
Calvin looked at him. "It looks like the hideous reminder that out there is an overweight elementary school teacher who is peeved at the fact that she won't torture me next year, so she'll make the teacher hate me when I get there."
Hobbes blinked and looked at him.
"We still have a week."
"Oh, it doesn't matter, Hobbes. It's over!" Calvin shouted.
"What, and the Time Pauser wasn't enough for you?"
"Hobbes, at the rate the batteries last, we might as well just let summer leave."
Mom came in for that nightly ritual known as bedtime.
"Calvin, it's time for bed," said Mom.
"But if I go to bed now, that means we'll have a less day of summer! That means I'll be forced to leave Hobbes, Socrates, Sherman…"
He stopped for a moment.
"Okay, so I guess there are a few perks."
"Get in bed," Mom said. "Second grade will be fun!"
"Yeah right. After what I was informed of from a certain source, second grade is nothing but a torture chamber that consists of all the works: mustard gas, whips, swinging pendulums, and long division. It's a world of evil, Mom, and I refuse to fall victim to it, and I don't care how much you pry."
"Calvin…," Mom muttered.
"Well, I just don't see why I can't take some time off!" Calvin said, still annoyed.
"Calvin, I think knowing you did a job well done should be enough."
"Yeah, the first time around, but I think I need something more! Maybe a free trip to the Bahamas on the first day of school! In fact, how about transferring to a different school?"
Mom stared at him.
"Well, how about an interview on a popular news show? I mean, I saved the planet from creatures that you all thought were fictional, but no one wants me on their show! Good Morning, America ought to be sending me several letters demanding that I tell of my long inner-struggle!"
Hobbes was under the covers, rolling his eyes at his best friend's egotistical behavior.
"Calvin, what inner-struggle?" Mom asked.
Calvin paused for a moment.
"Okay, I could go on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and talk about fondue," Calvin decided. "I mean, he should have at least mentioned me on the show last month!"
"Good night, Calvin," said Mom.
"Hey, I'm not done yet! Get back here!" Calvin demanded.
The door slammed and the two were left alone again.
"You're seriously letting this whole thing get out of hand," Hobbes sighed. "You should feel grateful that we're not sitting in the belly of a beast on Zok, and I think we would've been digested by now."
"But it's not fair, Hobbes!" Calvin whined. "I just think we're not being appreciated enough!"
"Hey, this is hard on me, too!" Hobbes retorted. "I think it's time you realized that there was someone else involved in this that should have got what he wanted."
"Oh, please. Socrates was brought back to his kid, and in thanks, he pranked me into a tree," Calvin snorted.
"No, I mean me! I haven't got anything out of this deal!" Hobbes complained. "I mean, who was there to hit the button with his tail when everyone was trapped in the cage? Hobbes! Who was the one that put that stupid hamster in his place? Hobbes! Who was the one had to be turned into a cheap rag doll twice? Why, I do believe it was ol' Hobbes! And what do I get for all my hard work? Nothing! No interviews, no lifetime supply of tuna, no trip the Bahamas, no Jon Stewart, no nothing at all!"
"Well, you got one of those Medals of Honor from the president," Calvin offered. "And maybe you could get an interview on The Colbert Report."
"Thanks for taking my feelings into consideration," Hobbes muttered. "Good night."
"G' night," Calvin sighed.
The light went off and Calvin and Hobbes fell asleep.
All across town, lights went out as everyone went to sleep. This was the cue for that sinister something to happen…
"Are we all set?" asked Retro.
"We're entering Earth's atmosphere," replied Earl.
"Then let 'er rip!" ordered Rupert.
The ship stopped in midair and did a quick scan of the planet, searching for Calvin's house. It scanned past several countries, then states, cities, counties and neighborhoods until they finally found that familiar yellow house.
"The target's locked," said an alien.
Rupert narrowed his eyes. "Do it."
A yellow beam was sent straight into the top floor of the house. It flew through the window of a certain bedroom. It overlooked Hobbes, who was dozing to the left, but it had Calvin in its grasp.
Calvin didn't even feel it! He stayed asleep. Soon, he was being brought back up into the ship.
Once there, he was brought before Retro and Rupert.
"Oh, this won't do!" said Retro.
"Quite right," agreed Rupert. "He's wearing his pajamas! He must be killed in proper clothing."
So this time, Earl sent the beam back to Earth and opened a dresser drawer with it, taking out one red shirt, a pair of black jeans, socks and purplish-red shoes. He brought them all back up to the ship.
"Very good," said Rupert. "Now comes a difficult task."
Retro and Earl looked at him.
"Who's going to change him?"
Retro and Earl looked at each other, grinned, and turned. "Oh, BOB!" they sang.
Bob ran in as fast as his could. "Yes, sirs?" he asked nervously.
"Clothe the boy now!" said Retro.
"But I—"
"DO IT!"
"Okay."
Bob took the still-sleeping Calvin and ran off.
"Now then," said Earl. "What's next?"
"The clone that will fulfill our dreams and make Calvin hated!"
"Right! But where do we get a duplicator?" asked Rupert.
"Follow me."
They entered a room that was very dark and was illuminated with red light, somewhat like a dark room for photo developing. In the middle, they saw something similar from earlier that day.
"Is that the device we released you from?" asked Rupert.
"Yes. It's a newer version of the Imaginator," Retro replied.
Indeed, the cube-shaped object had been made out of leftover pieces from the new claw-car. Rather than smooth metal, it was made out of rusty old pieces for the framework. The timer still looked the same, as did the nozzle on the back for releasing creations. The long hose thing that connected to the helmet was made out of a regular garden hose, and the helmet itself was made from a colander.
"How does this make the clone?" asked Earl.
"You'll see," Retro grinned.
He approached the device, placed the helmet on his head and pushed a red button. The Imaginator warmed up and started to shake. Retro simply thought a little more, only for a bright light to appear. A cloud of gold dust came out of the nozzle, followed by a plume of smoke.
When it cleared, there was someone that appeared to be Calvin, but instead of simply spiky hair, he had a Mohawk. He wore the same clothes, but he had that evil spark in his eyes that Retro, Rupert and Earl had.
"Is he evil?" asked Rupert.
Evil Calvin suddenly jumped him, knocking him to the ground, and he proceeded to beat him up.
"Yup, he's evil," Earl said dully.
"Success!" Retro whooped.
Bob approached them.
"Oh, you were able to use the colander!" he exclaimed. "By the way, the kid's dressed and in a cell," he added to Retro. He scooted away from Rupert and Earl nervously.
"Very good. Now send for a beam to send Evil Calvin down to Earth. By the end of the week, he'll have completed his task to dominate the world for us, and we'll be in charge!"
"Right!" Rupert said. "Earl! Bob! Take him to the transporter and put him in bed. Give him Calvin's pajamas first so it seems convincing. Go! Now!"
Bob jumped in fear and ran off. Earl rolled his compound eyes and slithered after him, Evil Calvin on a leash behind him. They managed to get him into Calvin's PJs, and they started to brief him.
"Your primary goal is to take over Earth under the guise of the real Calvin and give us the power."
"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU BIG MUCKY SLIMEBALL!" Evil Calvin shouted.
"It's your primary purpose! You were created to do it!" Earl yelled back.
"Make me!"
Earl pulled a ray gun.
"Okay, okay, yeesh! You didn't have to yell."
Evil Calvin clambered into the transporter.
Bob pressed a button and sent him back to Earth.
"It's finally working!" Earl grinned. "Doesn't it feel great, Bob?"
Bob was about to reply, but he saw that Earl was about to touch him, so he instead screamed and ran away.
"I guess not," Earl muttered, and he went after him.
Down on Earth, Evil Calvin appeared in Calvin's pajamas in the bedroom. The beam disappeared as the ship disappeared. Evil Calvin jumped back into bed and next to Hobbes, who hadn't been awaken by the whole event!
It was the start of the biggest shakeup in Calvin and Hobbes' lives.
